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My friendship really isn't going well...


Sugar Pea

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Guys...I have to confess.

I am kinda an emotional mess...like, I take things just to personally, I guess?

I'm having friendship problems...

Like I don't want that whole "Oh talk to her and you'll be okay" stuff. I mean...should I even ignore this?

 

Okay...so on the last day of school, my best friend admitted to me that she liked my ex boyfriend, and wanted to ask my permission to like him. Like an idiot, I said yes. Want to know why I said yes? Because I know what it's like to having feelings for someone you can't control. But...I honestly think she wants my scraps. Like, she told me if someone hooked up with her recent ex boyfriend, she would be mad at them, yet here she is contradicting herself and asking her best friend if she can like her ex. I at least have the freaking decency not to like her ex boyfriend, but lucky for her he isn't my type. My mom always told me not to take scraps because it was mean, and that's what I think it is...mean.

 

That's not all...I checked facebook not to long ago. She changed her timeline cover with a photo of my two friends Cynthia, Kitty, and her. But i'm not in the timeline cover. I think she is doing it on purpose...most of the time I wonder if half the things she does is on purpose, aimed towards me. I don't know when i'm around her I feel this atmosphere like...i don't know.

 

Yesterday, when I texted her, I told her I couldn't go somewhere with her. All she said was "Mk". Mk, guys. She never asked why until I pointed out that she never asked, and I told her I couldn't because I had to go to my dads. Guess who she is going with since I can't...my ex boyfriend.

I know I don't like him, and he is more like a bro to me though he still hits on me, but I guess you can say i'm jealous, and I wont deny this. It bothers me because he is my ex, and this is just her meal ticket to have a day with him.

 

I'm not sure if I should ignore any of this or not and be happy...like does she sound like someone worth being around? Am I over reacting? I really need some emotional help.

7 Comments


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  • Event Coordinator

Since I don't know your friend, I can't give you an accurate answer to this issue. But, just going off of your blog post, it doesn't sound like she's necessarily trying to hurt you. She might be, but I don't think that you should assume she is until you have a solid reason to. 

 

About her liking your ex-boyfriend... to be fair, since he is your ex-boyfriend, it's not bad for your friend to like him. It's not cheating since you aren't in a relationship with him.

 

About the timeline cover, that doesn't sound like she necessarily did that on purpose to spite you. Maybe she just liked that photo, or thought it would look good as her cover photo. 

 

About her saying "mk," she wasn't necessarily doing that to be mean to you. People can be distracted, and do stuff like that without meaning to. While that wasn't considerate of her, it just doesn't seem to me like she necessarily did it on purpose with malicious intent. 

 

So, my recommendation is to just wait and see what happens. If she starts exhibiting behavior toward you that is more blatantly hurtful, then you might need to consider either talking to her about it or just not talking to her anymore. But that would be pretty drastic, so you shouldn't do that until if or when you strongly believe that she's being mean to you.

 

I hope this all works out well for both of you. Friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for. 

  • Brohoof 4
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/)_-

 

Look, I don't know you, I can't say what kind of person you are or aren't. All I'm going to say is this. 

 

The timeline photo, does not matter. The not asking why, does not matter. There's no reason to jump to conclusions over such things, they are small things that don't matter between good friends. 

 

And on the subject of "scraps," the idea that liking someone your friend used to date is wrong, or rude, or mean, is archaic and wasn't valid to begin with. How a person feels about another person should not be suppressed just because there's history with their friends. It's based on a flawed premise and any friendship that could be torn apart by that wasn't a real friendship to begin with, because real friendships aren't that petty.

  • Brohoof 1
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Being jealous of your friend dating your ex isn't a great plan.  Not only will it strain your relationship with your friend, but it can send the message to your ex that you're still interested.

  • Brohoof 1
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/)_-

 

Look, I don't know you, I can't say what kind of person you are or aren't. All I'm going to say is this. 

 

The timeline photo, does not matter. The not asking why, does not matter. There's no reason to jump to conclusions over such things, they are small things that don't matter between good friends. 

 

And on the subject of "scraps," the idea that liking someone your friend used to date is wrong, or rude, or mean, is archaic and wasn't valid to begin with. How a person feels about another person should not be suppressed just because there's history with their friends. It's based on a flawed premise and any friendship that could be torn apart by that wasn't a real friendship to begin with, because real friendships aren't that petty.

You don't have to know me to help me out. I'm not asking you to tell me who I am. I'm just asking in my situaution if I am overeacting or not. That was all I asked. Thanks for the advice, though.

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I don't blame you for becoming unsettled over her question, especially following her changing the timeline cover on Facebook. Those subtle things can really be worrisome.

 

But she did have great decency telling you truth about her feelings for your ex. Honesty like that is not rare among close friends!

 

And I must object to the "taking scraps" concept. It's not always the case and isn't mean at all unless it is to spite someone. People get that perception ONLY if you feel uncomfortable about the thought of your friend dating one of your exes, which I'm sure you really aren't if you consider him more of a bro.

 

It's not uncommon to see two friends liking the same person. When one of them starts successfully dating them, tension naturally does arise. However, if you continue to be concerned over this then it may in fact be high time to start some introspection. I undersand the jealousy but you gotta suck it up eventually.

 

If you want, if your ex starts liking her back you can talk with both of them and relieve most of the bad vibes you've been having. He's single now and free for the time being, so just keep that in mind!

  • Brohoof 1
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I don't blame you for becoming unsettled over her question, especially following her changing the timeline cover on Facebook. Those subtle things can really be worrisome.

 

But she did have great decency telling you truth about her feelings for your ex. Honesty like that is not rare among close friends!

 

And I must object to the "taking scraps" concept. It's not always the case and isn't mean at all unless it is to spite someone. People get that perception ONLY if you feel uncomfortable about the thought of your friend dating one of your exes, which I'm sure you really aren't if you consider him more of a bro.

 

It's not uncommon to see two friends liking the same person. When one of them starts successfully dating them, tension naturally does arise. However, if you continue to be concerned over this then it may in fact be high time to start some introspection. I undersand the jealousy but you gotta suck it up eventually.

 

If you want, if your ex starts liking her back you can talk with both of them and relieve most of the bad vibes you've been having. He's single now and free for the time being, so just keep that in mind!

Thanks, this really helped out alot!

I believe I am overeacting at one point, then a tiny voice in my head screams otherwise and I get sad and take it personally again. I guess i'm just really sensitive...I wont deny that.

  • Brohoof 1
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Being jealous of your friend dating your ex isn't a great plan.  Not only will it strain your relationship with your friend, but it can send the message to your ex that you're still interested.

I just don't know how to overcome jealousy...I really don't know what it is that makes me want to pop a blood vessel about it.  Either i'm still interested, or i'm not comfortable with the fact that my friend likes someone I used to date. Your right, it could send a strain. I'll try not to pay attention to it.

 

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