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Killian Jones

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After quite some thinking over this past year or so, and even more so these past few weeks. I got quite introspective about friends and friendship. A lot of things have happened, which bring me to my conclusions.

 

What I have come to realize is that so many people out there truly undervalue friendship and what it means. And more importantly, throw around the word friend at someone without thinking once or twice. Very casually like it is nothing at all. And what it turns out is that people who often do this have many, many friends as a result, or what they call friends. But the question to me is, how well of a friend?

 

And the thing I immediately think about is a sort of test. It is simple, elegant, but difficult for the ones who are not truly your friends. It goes something like this: “Tell me something about me, that you know cause we talked about it and isn’t a superficial and you didn’t have to outright ask. ” It is a nice test, because so many won’t be able to answer these things at all. And it does end up coming down to how well you value friendship.

 

Now it is pretty easy, how can you value friendship? You can do so with little effort through investing time in a meaningful relationship. And there aren’t that many things to do, just hanging out, chatting, playing games together are pretty easy ways to get to know each other, and the more time invested, the more you get to know each other. And the more value your friendship has. But it takes time, a lot of it, and over a course of more time. Which brings me nicely into the next point.

 

All relationships take time and a little bit of effort, consume much of it, and some of your own mental energy. And humans have a limited amount of it. And it would seem that people who have a seemingly large amount of friends either have more time per day than there is actually time in that day and the ability to juggle so many people. Especially keeping up with them well. And I realize for myself it already is so hard.So I wonder how others must do it, but seeing their interactions with me. I honestly believe they don’t. Cause it is all so shallow.

 

What happens often, and it is a term we use often is “best friends” and really best friend is just a substitute for friend, except we lobbed too many people into the friend category we need to start and differentiate. Which is ridiculous because it puts many people in an awkward twilight zone about where they stand with anyone else as a person. And I often feel we shouldn’t lie to each other and call each other friend when you really aren’t.

 

I personally have learned a lot this past year. I have lost many people whom I used to consider friend, but in reality, I never was, and never would have been, and to them I wouldn’t be considered a friend in return by my definition. So it really wasn’t much of a loss. But in reality, I feel like I should treasure my true friends. And while I will say this, if you are reading this, and you believe you don’t fit this category well, or you are often absent to create a proper connection. Then I am sorry, but you are not really my friend. And those who are know who they are.

 

Thank you for reading and good day. <3 Especially to my friends.

  • Brohoof 9

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Yeah, you are right! And when you look at your array of friends, you can tell who you cherish and who isn't as compatible. I think it's important for that understanding and care to be balanced between friends as well. Should be mutual, you know? Otherwise things can get complex and messy. Finding a good friend is really tough. I only have a few but I feel very rich indeed to have them by my side.

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We all know the only true friendship is when somebody sends somebody a random friend request on a website.

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Can´t friends, too, be people I just feel comfortable around?

I have a few people I talk to, some of them more, some of them less recently, and i would consider them my "friends".

It is of course totally different (less valuable, maybe?) from real life friends I have met outside the internet, but I still enjoy it, and until i find a better word I´m gonna use this for it.

 

If I take right measure of this/ you, you´re talking about the Internet "friendship".

For many people act differently from their actual kind of behavior towards others on the Internet I could as well state that I don´t have a single real friend, and neither do you (sorry).

I talk to them, about everything, in PMs, on skype, to some more, or less... but hey, they could tell me whatever they want, right? Welcome to the Internet.

 

To be all honest, I see no point in this, but it´s an opinion, so I´ll respect it.

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@@Friendship_Cannon, I see those people as people I am comfortable around. How well do you know these people anyway, Talking every once in a while wouldn't really make friends. The don't feel like real friends.

 

I am not saying it's not okay to have people you hang around occasionally, because those do exist, but mislabeling them as friends when in reality you don't invest that much time and that much effort and in reality, if they leave, you probably won't take notice, that's not real friends. I worry about my friends.  All of them, even if I only have a few.

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Okay, you have a point, I don´t agree with it, but that´s just me.

 

And in the end, how sure are you of knowing those friends you have well?

I´m not implying something like general mistrust, but some of them you´ll never meet in real life.

And though their actions might speak for them, to fully understand/ know them you should´ve met them in persona (to call them real friends). What we miss out on over the Internet is the warmth, we can simulate it, but we can´t replace it (not even with *hugs* *<3* and other jokes like that).

 

Don´t get me wrong, I talk to friends about their lives/ my life/ problems/ ideas on here... but it will never be the same kind of friendship i share with the friends I have in real life.

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