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Banner by ~ Ice Princess Silky
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Best MLP/Brony thing I've read lately


-Nobody-

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>At Walmart shopping for pony toys

>As usual

>See another brony in the pink aisle

>Female

>Blonde

>A solid 10 years old

>About to greet her from behind with surprise hugs

>Notice she just picked up the last Fluttershy

>Nope

>Try to nab the box from her

>She's too strong

>Starts calling out for her mom

>Plastic slipping from my grasp

>Prick her with the point of my Pinkie Pie pony pin

>She drops the toy and runs off screaming

>This is what victory looks like

>A crying infant with an overpriced pin stuck in her arm

>Forget store Manager and 3 Security guards were following me the entire time

>Manager tries to grab Fluttershy

>Knocks my fedora to the ground

>Brohoof him in the face

>Assertive as buck

>Make a dash for the exit

>ha ha lol dash

>Security guards block my path

>Gotta detour down the pasta aisle

>No, my IQ of 177 tells me that would be too predictable

>Take the freezer aisle instead

>20% cooler xD

 

>Met with a phalanx of beanbag guns

>SWAT Team arrived in ten seconds flat

>They open fire with rubber bullets

>My fursuit absorbs most of the impact

>Security is fast approaching my flank

>lol flenk LOLOLO

>Flutterrage mode: engaged

>Hold aloft the lifesize cardboard cutout of my OC

>SWAT is blinded by the colour scheme

>Scream my mighty battlecry as I charge

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY"

>They fire blindly, tazers deflected by my aegis of originality

>I lose my trilby in the barrage

>Plough through the ranks of haters

>What remains is a heap of sobbing, confused men

>Hop like Pinkie to checkout

>Clerk is cowering behind cash register

>Cute

>reminds me of Fluttershy

>who I place on the counter

>pull out my wallet (pic related)

>It's empty

>Spent all my cash the wallet

>Can't afford toy

>Leave Store without buying anything

 

How embarrassing.

 

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  • Brohoof 1

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