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A Temporary Feeling Of... Childhood


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This morning was weird... It felt like I was back in the 90s when all seemed beautiful and simple with the world. The air felt unusually brisk, the sunlight itself almost felt alive... When in nostalgia, I remember mornings at my grandmother's house. I felt that same brisk air and living light as if the world was smiling down on me.

 

I found myself thinking about how I'm going to live the rest of my life. What the inside kept telling me is that the fast-paced corporate life isn't for me but would instead be better as something temporary. What I seem to long for instead would be a life of tranquility, serenity and simplicity.

 

What's really strange about this is how and when it happened. Yesterday, I spent all day inside, only stepping outside my campus room for lunch and other necessities. The day before that I had gotten an epileptic seizure and had to be admitted to the hospital but was released at night of the same day. Seems like that episode may or may not have done a little more than just send me into a state of unconsciousness for a few minutes but I'll never know for sure.

 

Well, after a day of school and after getting slightly pissed off about something, I'm no longer in that strange state of nostalgia. What I do remember thinking about regarding that goal was getting off the grid... Well, this isn't anything new for people who already know me but what set this apart is that it felt like I was thinking about this like I was 10 years old again. Hell, this whole nostalgia experience made me feel like I was a little boy again. Hm... Even at that age I thought about having a vegetable garden because even then, it seemed clear to me that money was a source of stress after seeing how it affected my dad. I loved the idea of free electricity as well but since this is before I knew about even the basics of electricity, let alone technologies like wind and solar, well... What went through my mind all those years ago seemed nothing short of magic to put it in a way that doesn't sound too embarrassing. Even back then I dreamed of a frugal life so I could afford to live a simpler, less hectic life even if it doesn't pay as much and still have enough leisure time to stop and enjoy the simple things in life.

 

But before I can do any serious thinking in this area, I'll want to finish the curriculum for my BA in electrical engineering.

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