So yes, hey everyone. I'm that guy... who wrote this damn thing. Imagine me sitting in a comfy chair with a bath robe and a book. Now, behind the chair is a fireplace.

Now imagine the comfy chair in flames because of how badly positioned it was. Now imagine the entire house on fire and destroyed. Now imagine me on the streets, desperately trying to gain attention and make money by telling stories... for free.

Can you see it? Can you see how desperate I am for attention? If your answer is yes, then excellent. Except I'm writing this not because I need money but because I'm rather bored, and quite frankly, lonely. : ( Good job on that sad face there, person!)

Yeah, insert a sad face on that last part. That's how sad I am.

Anyhow, so I was planning on making a blog of some sort. I've read through some lately, and I thought it would be a great idea if I also wrote something. I mean, I rarely see anything I would like to respond to, so why not do this instead? This blog is fittingly titled 'Whatever The Hell Comes To Mind', so it might be a bit odd.

But, let's cut all the stalling and what-not, yeah? How about we just, go to the meat of whatever the fuck I'm thinking. I have already decided what to talk about, you see... Let's all introduce you to...

The wonderful art of... (a lot of dramatic pauses for... well, drama)

SLEEPING!!

There! I said it. I'm going to talk about sleeping. Or, to be more specific, about my dreams. Usually they're boring, but I think that if I skew a bit of the wording and add some fancy sarcastic remarks, it'll be bearable.

So anyhow, it all started in a kitchen. More specifically, my kitchen (admit it, that is pretty specific). My father was preparing some food and what-not, and I was passively observing. However, suddenly, the fire went 'hsst hsst', as if to represent it going off. I'd guess my mind didn't know what a fire going out sounded like, so made up some shit. I went outside, and checked on the coal furnace to see if it was alright.

Yeah. Because screw gas! We have coal! ...or at least, I assume it was coal. Considering the coal furnace sauna (that's why I'm calling it, go with it) was overheating, it was rather hard to make out what the lava was. Yup.

So anyway, I spent a lot of time observing the lava in all my pyromaniac glory, but to be honest, the furnace wasn't really important anyway. Let's skip to a later part, hm? Let's skip to that part where I watched from my giant terrace (which I have in real life, btw) at the cliff side of some sort (which isn't there - in reality, I have a beautiful view over some stretch of land and the sea). There were holes in the cliff where you could crawl into, and for some reason, they conveniently led inside my house. Why? Because why not?

Luckily, one hole was already covered and closed. You couldn't get into it because a giant decapitated raccoon head popped out and blocked the path.

Because screw grates or whatever! Why not have giant decapitated animal heads cover the holes, eh?

Anyhow, I noticed someone climb into the not-covered hole, which meant he was going to break into my house. "Eh, whatever." I muttered. It wasn't really my problem. As long as they didn't stab me in my sleep.

...little did I know that I already was asleep!! 0_0

So I wandered around my... much-bigger-than-usually house. I came across an opened air vent where someone could conveniently get in through. Below the vent there was a small garbage bin to soft the landing. But, how did I know it was all part of someone's plan to sneak in? On top of the garbage bin, there was a note. I quote: "Drop here."

Oh no. Some evil people snuck in just to leave a note about how to sneak in. How evil.

I went to warn Scrooge McDuck because WHY THE HELL SHOULD'T HE BE HERE?! Uh... I mean, I went to warn him about the thieves, and told him to install spikes into the garbage bin so the evil people would get injured.

Alas for me, I did not know Scrooge was brainwashed, and in the end, evil people got in. It was an old man and his grandson who looked like Near (from Death Note). They were super-intelligent, apparently. How did I know? The man couldn't stop boasting. However, I got him good with my witty remarks. He said, "My son has been killed... yet still lives!!" to dramatically convey his grandson's immortality. I wittily responded with "So he's simply 'alive'? >:J"

Real smooth, dream-me. I applaud you. But, to be fair, his grandson really was immortal.

I threw punches at the old man, but he used his super-intelligence to dodge them all with ease. I, being the brave Hero of the story, decided to run away. The old man decided to sent a Grizzly Bear after me. Luckily for me, the Grizzly Bear went after his grandson instead. He was brutally slaughtered, but luckily he is immortal.

"Oh god why does this happen every episode!?" ~ Old man's grandson's not-last words because he is immortal

So... yeah, I swear it was more interesting inside my head. Oh wells, it doesn't really matter. I'm still posting it. And there's nothing you can do about it. Hah!