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Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/16/18 in Blog Entries

  1. 15 points
    So, this is something that is long overdue. Something I’ve been aware of about myself for many years now but have never felt ready to admit it to anyone...not even to myself for that matter, but times have changed and over the past few months I’ve finally embraced the fact that yes, this isn’t a phase and it’s who I am, it’s real. It’s me. I shouldn’t deny it anymore. Now, this may come as a shock to some of you on here who have known me for a while, as I’ve always kept it very well hidden simply because I was, honestly too scared to admit it, but now I feel like now is a good a time as any to finally push aside my doubts of, will I still be accepted by others, will you all look at me differently, etc, as this is MLPF and if there’s anywhere I’m going to come out about something like this, it’s here. The brony community is the most accepting place I know. I am bisexual. Yeah, probably weren’t expecting that were you? But there it is. I also figured, no better time to come out about being bisexual than Pride Month, right? This is honestly one of the hardest things I’ll ever do, coming out about this, but this is the only place I plan on doing it. I’ve not come out anywhere other than the internet, mostly because of my family. Don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly and they love me and I know no matter what they’d still love me and support me, but yet...I don’t feel like revealing this to them, not yet. I might someday but for now, I’m keeping it here. I just would like to mention two very special people on I know who I’ve come out to already. @Cyclone1066 and @Misty Breeze. Thank you both, so much, for being the amazing friends (and boyfriend ) you are. You’re both here for me no matter what and I couldn’t ask for better. Thank you both for accepting me and supporting me. I love you both. <3 Now, the question is, will you all accept me too? I guess time will tell, and with that, I shall conclude this entry. Thank you to all who may read this. I do believe it’s time for Lucky to show her true colors. Bi Pride! 💕💜💙
  2. 12 points
    Basically as the title says. Socks.
  3. 12 points
    In this day and age, it’s becoming rarer and rarer for a form of media, especially television, to have a definitive and conclusive finale. Many will either be left to sprawl endlessly until it becomes little more than a shadow of its former self or unceremoniously canceled in the middle of the story and forced to rush the endings. So, it is with an odd mix of sadness and relief that it’s been finally confirmed that Season 9 of Friendship Is Magic will be the final season. While I will certainly miss the show, I can still take solace in the sheer legacy it has left behind. When the first episode premiered on October 10th, 2010, many were expecting it to be dead on arrival, little more than another brainless show meant to distract small minded kids for a few minutes while acting little more than a 22-minute toy commercial, only to surprise everyone with its cast of colourful characters, thoughtful and funny plotlines, and an art style that was a joy to look at. What followed what a fandom like no one had ever seen before or I think ever since, filled with people far outside the intended demographic one would expect from “My Little Pony.” As of today, February 18th, 2019, the fourth generation of My Little Pony has managed to endure for over eight years, far longer than anyone could have ever imagined. In that time, a deluge of fan creations flooded the internet: art, writing, animations, plushies, you name it, someone has probably made a My Little Pony of it. But that was just the beginning, as dozens of conventions were created across the globe, gathering together fans from all walks of life together under the banner of a simple message: “Friendship is Magic”. Friendships have been formed between people who would have previously never crossed paths and people even managed to get married because of their relationship to the show, an impressive feat for a show that was originally mocked as a simple toy commercial. When the 100th episode, Slice of Life, aired on June 13th, 2015, I remember thinking that this was an unprecedented accomplishment for the show, having lasted longer than any other show made by Hasbro and doing what many shows couldn’t even attempt in reaching the triple digits. So, imagine my shock and utter amazement when I realized the show was about to take that same accomplishment and double it, as Season 9 will feature the 200th episode, a feat never before thought possible from a Hasbro show. Once the show does indeed finish airing the final episode, Friendship is Magic will then consist of 221 twenty-two minute episodes, a combined watch time of over 81 hours or around three and a half days or so, even longer if you added in the feature-length movie, the specials, and the Equestria Girl’s spin-off series, putting the combined total to somewhere around 86 hours or so. To put that into perspective, that’s longer than it would take to watch the entire Lord of the Rings movie Trilogy, plus the Hobbit over ten times. Finally, Season 9 will only mark the ending of Friendship is Magic, not My Little Pony as a whole, especially with another movie already planned for 2021 and potentially a Gen 5 in development. Even if it was the end of the franchise, the fandom that this show created won’t just up and disappear, but will no doubt continue to flourish for years to come. Myself? I’ve made far too many good memories with this show and the people I’ve met through the fandom to give it up the moment the last episode airs. If anything, I will be there with a smile when the show finally does come to end and I will watch proudly as Friendship is Magic takes its final steps into the world. For if nothing else, this show has managed to firmly consolidate one thing during its almost decade long run: Friendship truly is magic.
  4. 11 points
    It's truly amazing. I've been on this forum for over 4 years now and i have seen quite alot here, from the good to the bad times. I remember when i came here at the beginning of 2015 and i was kind of in a bad place in my life, being depressed and having not alot of energy for anything in my life. I know for some it might be a surprise, but i never wanted to bother anyone at that time with my constant struggles. But alot of you still helped me in another way and some of you still remind me that there is good in this world. And i want to use this opportunity to give a big shoutout to a bunch of people. @Creamy Arty You where the first guy i really tried to know here when i came here. My memory of our conversations back then are a bit foggy, but i always respected your presence and i also am glad that you came back after your absence. @Jeric In the last 4 years i can't think of anyone being more suited for this admin job then you did. Your creative ideas to get this Forum active where always welcome to me and where always very fun. You are really one of the nicest people, i ever met on this site. @PathfinderCS Even if we don't see eye to eye on the Snake vs. Deer argument, you are also a very chill guy to talk too, even if we don't had that many opportunities. You will always be best deer. @LZRD WZRD I know, he hasn't been here for 3 years and he probably forgot about me. But he was a guy i really loved and i mean REALLY loved. While our paths have gone apart, i don't really hold a grudge against him and i truly enjoyed that one year we where together. @Dark Horse My little bro. Maybe not in blood, but certainly in spirit. I remember when i met you first. You helped me up after my break up with WZRD. Ever since then, we always had a very special connection these past 3 years, even to the point that we meet in person here in Germany. There is no one, in the history of this forum, that i am more thankful for and i hope i'll be more thankful in the future to come. @Sparklefan1234 You don't need to boop me everyday, You are probably king of the dorks, when it comes to forum activity, because there is simply no time i don't find you here. But i am glad to always find you here, doing your funny shenanigans. @Will Guide You are probably my favorite guy, when it comes to talking about Disney, something that i loved since i was very little. I know you sometimes take my statements a bit too seriously, but i also take that as a compliment. You should always take your friends seriously when they have problems. @JonasDarkmane My favorite viking in the world. You are the only guy i trust with, when it comes to have a civil political debate with. You also teached me to look a bit more deeper into the gray area that this world more and more forgets about. Thank you so much for that. @Dark Qiviut I know what it is about you, but it seems like wherever i go in this fandom, you are always following me. I don't mean that as a bad thing though, since i admire your intelligence and your witiness. And while we where never that close with one another, i think you're a cool guy. (Stop calling me Kaa though. ) @Lord Valtasar I don't know you as long as other guys here, but i always enjoy your company during our discord get togethers. You are a very cool dude for me. I am sorry if i missed some people, but i don't have time for all of you. I just wanted to shed my heart and give out my thanks for the last four years and i hope you also feel the same about me. I will always be your favorite hypnotic doctor snekpone. :3 Big Lamiahuggles for all of you
  5. 10 points
    To be honest. I'm gonna spill some shit that has been on my mind for a bit now. It may be seen as complaining but I honestly just get annoyed by it even if it isn't a huge deal. I feel that I have interests that don't align with most people and when I try to share them and share my excitement about them I feel that I'm ignored in a way that kind of hurts. I understand that people have different interests and mine may not interest someone but it's just a bit depressing especially when you try to connect with someone but realize that they like things that you just can't relate to. I really think that might be my biggest limiting factor in life. I just don't care about things like Pokemon, Final Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Marvel Universe, and other things. My music taste is pretty vibrant to be frank, and I really do enjoy things like Rock and Metal but I feel that the people I talk to on a daily basis just don't connect or understand my feelings on the matter. Yes, I am very aware that this is be whining about people ignoring me and that I'm sounding like attention whore, but these are the nagging feels that I have in the back of my head and they just keep on coming up when I put myself in a situation like that. This also ties to Status Updates on the forums. I like posting things that I really have a passion in but I really feel like if the status has nothing to do with ponies then it is just ignored and left to void. I will probably continue to post things that I have a passion in even if I am complaining about people not giving it the attention that I feel it deserves. Thanks for listening to my rambilings and take what I say with a grain of salt because these are basically my emotions just talking for me.
  6. 9 points
    Kid Icarus Uprising is amazing and you all should play it! Viridi is Best Goddess
  7. 9 points
    I've bumped into something - I'll need to place BOSS HP BAR somewhere, but the current HUD gave me a bad time organizing the layout. Sooooo yeah, I've been thonking on the HUD again, because why not. For a reference, this is how it looked like so far: I was trying to put it somewhere to the right, but the screen was getting somewhat clogged up. ...So I've tried to place is somewhere at the bottom - the spells were on my way. Also I was toying with the general design (see the top-left corner). Red for the HP Bar seems to work better, considering that other bars have colors based on the icons attached to them. The green was out of place there. But getting back to the BOSS HP Bar--- I've tried to move the spells to the top, to have everything in one corner... ...and here made some more science as well, to make it all more compact. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, that IN ALL DESIGNS the breath bar disappears once Twi leaves water. You won't see that bar most of the time, hence why it doesn't have to be nicely attached to the rest of elements. Also I was thinking on the spell icons - maybe instead of these little bars representing energy, they could have that in their backgrounds? That seems to be making it easier to tell how much energy do the spells have. ...But it still appears kind of messy, doesn't it? So I took a suggestion I got ages ago into consideration - that Twi's face isn't needed there. I tried simplifying the design... ...and was checking if fancy boss hp bars would be a good idea... Looks cool! -I think, but it's too distracting, so I believe going with minimalist design will work better. As for the rest--- hmm... not sure, maybe trying something different? Let's flip some things! There, It looks really simple, but it doesn't cover that much of space. It's just practical and considering, that there may be many things happening on screen, I think this is what I'll go with, at least for now, hah; Pretty sure I'll be adjusting things again in the future. So yeah, this is what I got lately. What do you think about these funny designs? That's all for now! Thanks for visiting! Also I'm terribly sorry for my grammar and English in general, it's past 7 AM and I'm really, really tired. Going to sleep now.
  8. 9 points
    It's been a couple weeks since my last entry, but that's because it took almost two weeks to finish my latest drawing. 13 days from start to finish to be exact. I don't know if I'm getting all that much better or if it's just the sheer amount of time I spent on it, but I'm pretty happy with how this piece came out. I'm glad I'm making progress, but I still have a looooong way to go. Anyway, enough of my rambling. You came here for art after all, so here it is. (full version, not the reduced one used for the site banner)
  9. 9 points
    So... it has already been one full year since I logged in to MLPF, has it? It's amazing how quickly time can pass. Entries like this are never easy to illustrate; there is simply so much to say... but no rational order in which to say them. To be perfectly honest, the entire construction of this entry was practically done in reverse order. Be that as it may, I still feel it is only appropriate to write a tribute of sorts, especially today. I have said before that MLPF may have been among the best times I have had on the internet... and in spite of all that has happened in the past year, I stand by that. I have gone through many phases with MLPF, from near enrapturement to outright apathy, but one thing that has remained true in spite of it all is the amazing people whom I have met having a very positive influence on me through the course of the past year. It is enticing to mention specific users who have made my experience here as amazing as it was... but I don't believe now is the time to play favorites. There are simply too many users who have made the Forums (and even places outside of them) such a lovely experience to narrow it down to a select group. I was 15 when I had first logged on to the Forums, and I am now approaching my Bittersweet 17. In that time, I have undergone an unexpected amount of personal growth, in no small part due to these very Forums. Be it coping with envy, regulating my attention-whorish tendencies, learning to accept others' departure and cherish the times you had spent with them... among other things. I suppose I need only tackle my ever-persistent lethargy next. In general, a theme throughout my life is potential without much tapping in to it, thanks to my laziness... but as of 2019, I have decided to finally start turning this on its head. My diet is starting to improve, my negative habits are slowly withering away while positive habits take their place, I am starting to maintain myself in general much better... you understand what I am saying. Due to all of this... as strange as this may seem, I believe I finally understand why Rarity is likely my favorite fictional character of all time. She is the very incarnation of a self-made woman; peerless grace, an ever-charming personality, an overall luxurious and cultured lifestyle, and most importantly, every single trait I have mentioned was borne of her dedication to beauty and culture. In other words... she is practically a mirror of what I could be if I put in genuine effort. In the end, my life has basically become a war of lethargy and short-term gratification VS dedication and long-term satisfaction (with Rarity as the main mascot, of course)... and I don't intend to capitulate to my laziness as I have for the majority of my life. Either way, Friendship is Magic's final season has been unveiled with an absolutely gorgeous trailer yesterday, and I have quite a bit of catching up to do... so I suppose I shall finally get to it. It is unlikely that there will be a time better than this, after all. Thank you very much to anyone who has read through this meandering blog entry, and I hope you have an absolutely splendid day! You have my eternal gratitude for the memories. This was all terribly sappy, I know.
  10. 9 points
    Today is me and @Cyclone's one year anniversary together as a couple, so I decided to do something special and post our story of how we met right here on the frums. This is from my point of view, of course. I hope y'all enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was just another ordinary afternoon in January of 2018, I had logged onto the forums to go through notifications and message a couple friends back through DM, when I happened to notice a user by the name of "Cyclone 1066" in my recent profile vistitors block. I had never seen this user on the forums before, much less on my profile, and what really caught my eye was this user's profile picture. It was Rainbow Dash as a NASCAR driver. It's a rare thing to come across, a fellow brony who also loves NASCAR, so my curiosity lead me to check out this user's profile for myself. Upon reading up on this user's profile, I learned he was indeed a motorsports fan and loved cars and such, just like me. What also caught my eye was that he was from Illinois, which is also my birth state, even though I don't live there anymore I thought that was pretty cool, and he was also about my age, which was also a rare finding to me. I wanted to get to know this guy better, it'd be nice to have a friend who has so much in common with me. So I posted to his profile a hello, and awaited his response with much anticipation. He eventually responded and we got into a friendly conversation about NASCAR and motorsports and MLP and such, and in my head I was like "Wow, I already like this guy, we have so much in common." After that we starting following each other and talking more and more, but it was oddly never through DM. We would talk through status updates or random threads around the forums, and always had fun in the forum games. It wasn't until a bit later when he messaged me in DM telling me he liked this particular SoarinDash pmv I put up on my YouTube channel, and from there, we talked back and forth a LOT. Didn't take long at all before I realized, I really like this guy, but as in, REALLY like this guy. I realized I had feelings for him, and I didn't even know what he looked like! I was falling in love with his personality. And I wanted him to know, but I was still a bit too shy to come out directly and say it, sooo, that's when I started dropping the hints. For example, in the forum game "Ship the member above you" if he would post in there I'd reply under him and ship him with myself, I would drop little subtle hints in status updates he would post and what not. But it just seemed like he wasn't noticing or picking up on any of it. That's when I knew, I had to step things up a notch. I'd have to gather my courage and just TELL him how I felt. But it turned out, I didn't have to, because that following Valentine's Day, he completely took me by surprise when he asked me in DM if I would be his valentine. I was super surprised, but also so happy I could barely contain myself. So I of course accepted. And after that is when things changed big time. Our friendship was without a doubt turning into something more, and then, on February 26th, 2018, I got a DM from Cyclone asking me if we could maybe take our relationship further and become boyfriend/girlfriend. I remember reading that message like 5 times over again, completely shocked, but a good type of shocked. The one guy I was chasing and absolutely head over hooves about was asking me out. I of course accepted without hesitation, and so, we've been together from then on. We eventually got each other's phone numbers and all, and that following April I finally broke the news to my parents telling them that I had a boyfriend, which went surprisingly well, considering. That following June is when me and Cyclone met each other in person for the first time. And now, here are, a year later and still together. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, our arguments, even times when we nearly broke up with each other, or at least thought we were. But we got through it and will continue to do so. I love you @Cyclone, thanks for being my best friend, boyfriend, and big brother figure all in one. My life wouldn't be complete without you in it. Here's to another year together and many more to come! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ok, enough with this mushy stuff.
  11. 9 points
    With season 9 being its last, I could give my thoughts on it ending, but I did so already. Instead, I want to reflect on what the show has done. Over the years, FIM has had moments where many, myself including, declare whether the show jumped the shark or not. For those who don't know, "jumping the shark" is the moment that indicates its peak has passed and won't return to form again. Examples are located here and here. Of course, when something jumps the shark is subjective. What might be a "jump the shark" moment for one may not be for another. There's no right way to determine it. That said, there have been many "jump the shark" moments, only for FIM to bounce back. Faust leaving during Season 2's production? Season 2 was really solid and has aged better than the former. Derpygate? Derpy was around during S2, was on hiatus in S3 til MMC, returned again in Rainbow Falls, and has remained a background mainstay since. Twilicorn debuting in MMC, a possible change in character? In S4, she showed remnants of Twi of old, and in S5, many of her quirks return. The castle replacing the tree? No on talks about it now, and I argue that Castle Sweet Castle helped relieve the worries. In fact, her castle's been in the show longer than the Golden Oak Library (104 eps to 91 to date, minus the shorts and Best Gift Ever). Princess Spike's ending implicating permanent status as a buttmonkey? Two weeks later, Amending Fences — one of the best of the show — aired, and Spike's direction has improved tremendously since. S5 remains my favorite of the show. Newbie Dash screwing up Dash's achievement? In consecutive weeks, Tail and TSRR air. Afterwards, the Wonderbolts become much more likeable, and Dash feels like a part of the team. Starlight joins the cast? She gradually improves in S6, and in S7 and 8, she makes her mark as one of the Mane Eight. The School of Friendship is born? Becomes one of the show's best settings and the home of the Young Six, some of the best characters of the show. You get the picture. Every time the show proverbially jumps the shark, the show always bounces back. It never stays down for so long. Whenever the show looks to be in the downturn in quality, DHX publishes good to great episodes, reminding us why FIM has the well-earned reputation of being one of the best Western cartoons of the decade. Consider this. Many cartoon shows don't last so long. After two or three seasons, it starts wrapping up or gets canceled. Gravity Falls only lasted two seasons. If they stick around, it runs the risk of rotting. FOX renewed The Simpsons for both a 31st and 32nd season, but many argue that it began its turn to mediocrity after Season 9. The Powerpuff Girls were good for about four years, but S5 and 6 (both w/o McCracken) sucked. Nickelodeon finally canceled Fairly Odd Parents after already drilling into the sewer. Sometimes they bounce back, such as Spongebob post Out of Water and Thomas & Friends following S16. Is it impressive that FIM lasted so long? Indeed. I still remember wondering if FIM will even have a S3 or 4. But think about it. FIM's been good for not just the first three to four seasons, but so far its entire run. A large chunk of the show's best episodes started in S5. If Friendship Is Magic ended after MMC or Twilight's Kingdom, we wouldn't have all-time greats like Flight to the Finish, The Cutie Map, Slice of Life, Lost Mark, The Times They Are A Changeling, The Perfect Pear, Shadow Play, Mean 6, The Washouts, or Sounds of Silence. DHX maintained consistently good quality from the very beginning to today, which is very hard to do. As I wrote here, Faust planted the seeds early, and her apple tree currently blooms. Prior to FIM, Hasbro's longest TV series was G1 Transformers (99 episodes, 6 seasons). When this show concludes, it'll be more than double the length (221 episodes, 9 seasons); not bad for a show that's been this good for so long, huh? Whether it'll hold up or not remains to be seen. But no one can deny that Friendship Is Magic built a legacy, and with S9 coming up in perhaps five to eight weeks, I can't wait to see what's in store.
  12. 9 points
    As most of you already know, I've shown evidence of my personal struggle. Though, I have been thinking over things quite a bit recently. Why do I keep going on when all I meet in the end is disappointment. Hell, it's even a chore to get up in the morning. To be clear, this isn't a suicidal post or anything like that. I am completely past that. I just feel that I need to have some kind of break from everything for awhile. Just to clear my head of everything. I have been thinking of this for awhile now, but I am still unsure if I should just take a break from the internet or just everything in general. I have a few weeks after this semester to do mostly nothing and I may as well take that time to recharge myself. I know I am not the only one who feels this way, but I know a lot of people don't like talking about their problems for fear of being viewed as inept by their peers. I disagree, I think we should all discuss what we have on our minds and talk to one another on ways to solve the problems. I am still looking for a purpose in my life to be happy about. Sure, I have sparingly happy moments, but I wouldn't say I am truly happy. I would also say that I have sort of addictive personality. I have recently been trying to stop my spending on things that I really do not need, but it has been quite hard. I'm quite an impulsive buyer, so if I see something that peaks my interest, I usually go for it. I know this will get me in trouble in the future and I've been thinking of ways to stop this feeling. I don't know what a drug addiction feels like, but I feel it would be somewhat similar. You want to do this thing because your brain will give you a huge boost in dopamine due to satisfying your craving. I guess in my current mental state, finding anything that will give me that boost in my mood is crucial. Yes, I know I need to find different ways to entertain myself and not something as destructive as compulsive spending. The next thing I wanted to address is my anxiety on time. What do I mean by this? What I mean is that I have had fears of deadlines in school. I've been fearing what will happen to me if I just be lazy and don't do what I am supposed to do. Yes, I know I need to do the things that I'm told to do, but I have just recently been feeling increasingly apathetic towards doing it. Why is that? It is because I am scared of the outcome if I fail or don't meet the expectations on my instructors. I know some of you would laugh at the idea of that, but for me it is a real fear of mine. I have a deathly fear of failing to the point where I sometimes don't try things because I am afraid that I will fail at it. I know that failure is a pathway to success, but the feeling of failure is just crippling to someone like me. I think I need to find ways to circumvent my fear though. I don't know how, but maybe some of you can give some pointers. Another thing is about political climate of the world. I have recently gotten quite involved into politics and it has even furthered my depression. Since most things with politics have to do with corruption, it just depresses that is the state of the world. Sure, I know the world isn't perfect, but as they say "ignorance is bliss". That is damn correct, somethings are just better left unknown because of how deplorable they are. I myself vehemently oppose the awful spending of the US government which has lead to our enormous deficit. I also oppose the states and federal government involvement in everything. I feel more things should be privatized and that the government shouldn't give free handouts to people. This is because these people will learn to rely on these handouts and will never get back in to the workforce to be a productive member of society. This hits close to home since my own mother is one of these people, so I have hands on experience with how this affects people. This is why I appose socialist ideals like the ones Bernie Sanders keeps on parading about. They sound amazing in concept, but they are based on idealism and not on reality. That is why most communistic or socialist countries have failed and will continue to fail. Just look at how Venezuela is. They can't even feed their own people because of their socialist dictator. That is also one of the reasons that they are the country with the highest inflation rates of any country. Anyways, that concludes my rant. I just really needed to let loose somewhere on what I have had pent up inside of me for the longest time. I thank all of you for reading my blog post. Yes, I know there are people who don't agree with my political views and I'm completely okay with that. I also wrote all of this at 2am at the brink of exhaustion, so their might be some glaring mistakes in this rant. Thanks once again for reading this if you have.
  13. 9 points
    Wow, it's been awhile since I've used this, hasn't it been? Anyways, I feel it's time I say something in here once again. For the past few months I have had less and less drive to do really anything anymore. I have school work that I should be doing but can't be assed to do it. I don't know why I don't do it because I know I can. I just feel incredibly demotivated. Same thing comes with this site. I used to be on here all day but ever since a few months ago, I can't be on for most of the day anymore or even hell, most of the free time I had. Call it exploring different hobbies or the such but I just haven't been feeling it. With that, I've felt that I have been some what of a let down staff wise. My drive to do what I want to do is almost gone and I make stupid little mistakes that I embarrass myself with. Is it time to throw the towel in? I really don't know. It's not that I don't enjoy being on here anymore, it's that I just can't be assed to go on here due to me just feeling meh if that makes sense. What do you guys think? Am I being over dramatic and should I just get over this?
  14. 9 points
    It's been awhile since I've made one of these, eh? Well, I've had something I wanted to let out for awhile now. It's my anxiety on entering the professional workforce soon. I am in the middle of my third semester of college right now and I graduate some time midway next year. I have anxiety of how it could possibly be after I finish my schooling. This comes from the fact about finding a job and seeing if I can actually land that said job. My anxieties even extend to how well I would do said job or if I don't actually know something; how will be looked at when it comes to that time? Being a 20 year old is difficult in that regard. Society expects you to know your shit by this age but I'm having trouble wondering what the fuck I'm going to do after I finish school. I may just be blowing this out of proportion but I think my anxieties have at least some merit to them. On another topic all-together though. I am struggling to allocating time to my work since I feel burnout on the amount I receive. I'm a full time college student, so that means I have a shit ton of work to shift through right now. I know I can do the work but actually have the motivation put forth to doing it is what is holding me back in that regard. I may need tips on how I can better allocate my time to my work and how not to stress over menial stuff like worrying if my essay is perfect. I look at myself as a worrywart in this regard. Now, to the final thing I want to talk about here. All of you may or may not have noticed that I have not been as active as I have in previous month. This is because of a multitude of reasons. The first reason is that I sometimes forget to come here on the forums because I am talking to other staff members via discord most of the time. Second reason is because I can just have a lack of motivation to come here. I know I shouldn't push myself to brink of emotional burnout but I can't really help myself sometimes. Third reason is because I just don't have the time to do it as I used to. I have been swamped so much in schoolwork and even work itself. The Fourth reason would be because I have been pursuing other interests lately. This can include video gaming, watching videos on YouTube, or creating music again. Nothing against any of you guys here but my interests like Metal aren't very common among members here. I feel left out in that regard and usually just keep to myself about it. This may be a stupid reason, I know, but I just can't help feeling like that most times. Anyways, that is it for now. If you had read through this all than I thank you very much listening to me ramble on about what is on my mind.
  15. 8 points
    Sometimes you just not look forward to an episode. Whether it’s the synopsis, unimpressive preview, or whatever, something didn’t click. Personally, I looked forward to it, although I understand why some didn’t. It had the makings to being the worst episode of the season at this point. Fortunately, it’s not. In fact, it’s a sneaky great one. For one, there’s a whole lot of really good comedy. Like every other episode this season, there’s a huge array of facial expressions, and they sell the jokes really well. My favorites are: Rarity looking very cross after Yona burped munched Brussel sprout on her muzzle. Gallus and Smolder teasing each other, the latter including a wink. Rarity’s smiles, such as asking Yona what she wanted at the Boutique and pronouncing sophisticatedly. Silverstream’s sass as she gobbled potato chips first and a really nervous grin the next. Yona romantically blinking at Sandbar, triggering giggles from her friends. And there’s also all of Yona’s antics as she tried to “fit right in.” When she tried the first time, she caused either a little commotion or chaos, ala damaging Rainbow’s classroom by accident. Then after she succeeded, she pretended to be Rarity in hilarious fashion, all the way down to her accent, dress choice, and mannerisms. Observe the title. It references the 90’s cult hit, She’s All That, which in turn was inspired by Oscar-winning musical My Fair Lady. I'm not familiar with the former (never watched it), but I am with the latter, and you can find similar tropes used for My Fair Lady in at least three other Disney films: Aladdin, Pocahontas 2 (the one best compared to All Yak), and Mulan. As such, there’s no denying how cliché this type of story is, and this episode’s formula (despite a wide variety of emotion carrying it, and I put not much focus on total clichés nowadays) may be a little too on the nose with it and could do more by straying away. But there’s no denying the emotion that drives this episode. Yona, being the least ladylike of the Young 6, is justified to be uncertain of Twilight's Amity Ball. The Amity Ball trophy's taken from Ponyville's annual Fetlock Fête, a dancing competition with an award going to the winner, and the poster features two ponies, no other creature. Additionally, pay attention to the language: To be fair to the teachers, it's not wrong for them to teach non-ponies Ponyville traditions. Twilight also changed the name so non-ponies can feel more invited. But there are problems. Today, Ponyville remains a homogeneous society, and the School's next door to Twilight's castle. She's supposed to teach a more inclusive Magic of Friendship, yet so far hasn't taught traditions from other cultures. Despite their efforts, it shouldn't surprise anyone why the unfortunate implication pressured Yona to assume she'd have to be a pony to qualify for the Pony Pal trophy. The event also showed how those same implications impacted the rest of the Young Six. Observe their faces. Ocellus's is blank. Smolder rolled her eyes. Gallus looked cross, implying he felt tokenized by ponykind. While everypony and Spike danced, they sat out and played cards. Outside of expression, Gallus expressed his concern, too. Prior, when ponies went to a faraway land to teach the Magic of Friendship, they risk very imperialistic implications, suggesting that those creatures are inferior. Two episodes that fell into this trap were Dragon Quest (stereotyping dragondom thanks to misogynistic teens) and Lost Treasure (treating friendship as the go-to method to fix a desolate, corrupt country). Thankfully, they've been more cautious lately, but this type of episode opened itself up to it. So how did they bypass those implications? Instead of coming to her and telling her she had to change, Yona came to them. She understandably assumed that she had to change into a completely different character. Therefore, by seeing all those dresses, she also assumed that she had to dress like a pony in order to "fit right in" with the rest. That little, innocent accident produced further doubt and fear into Best Yak's childlike psyche. But at no point does the episode look down on her or see her as stupid. Throughout, it listened to those fears and let airing her doubts whenever without interruption. When she tried to persuade Rarity to design the right dress for her, Rarity reluctantly agreed. When she struggled, everyone — and by extension, the episode — encouraged her to improve. On the other end, when her friends saw how she was speaking and behaving, their first impressions were worry. They wondered what was going on with her, and all giggling aside, they were concerned the entire time. Sandbar, who asked her out, was also getting increasingly worried after she nearly spilled punch all over her dress. Rarity's reluctance plays another key. Why does Yona's visit take her aback? Because she doesn't expect anyone to dress. Yes, the Fetlock Fête's a more formal tradition, but the Amity Ball isn't, and Twilight didn't announce dresses as a requirement. Thanks to peer pressure, Yona thought she had to. Rather than say no, Rarity agreed to her demand. After all, she's her client, and objecting may only worsen things. One little line subtly adds to this doubt: Rarity suggested she stand out for Sandbar. Yona corrected her. Instead of thrusting her beliefs onto her, she listened and, despite being opposite her morale, obliged. Everyone else actively wanted to help her improve. At first, Yona struggled mightily. The Pony Catillion chart really confused her, 'cause all of the colors and hooves overlapped each other, and Yona (hilariously) smashed up Dash's classroom when trying to learn the Pony Prance. Meanwhile, Pinkie's quick organization of the ingredients comes second nature to her, but Yona was overwhelmed. Seeing how she needed help, they started from scratch, modified their instructions, and slowly worked upward as Yona improved. Another big improvement here in comparison to other episodes is how they remained in character the whole time. Nopony looked down upon her the entire time. Instead of forcing her to agree, Yona came to them for help, and they worked the best they could to her demand. Did they get flustered, insult her, or treat her or her culture as inferior? Nope. They genuinely believed they were helping her accomplish what she wanted. Come the end of the montage, everything was according to plan. Unfortunately, they had no idea that, despite the best of intentions, they unknowingly perpetuated the same imperialistic "out-of-pony" stereotypes. What they intended was to help Yona impress Sandbar, have fun, and win Best Pony Pal. But their coaching accidentally suppressed Yona, who was beginning to treat her own identity as a yak as a weakness and took their lessons as means to become more self-conscious. This line further implicates this: Pay attention to the last two words. "Well spoken" is a microaggression. It may "sound" nice on the surface (and sometimes not intended to be offensive at all), but when a Caucasian calls an African-American "well-spoken," they say he's better not talking like "other" blacks, a.k.a., anyone who speaks Ebonics. Regardless of intent, it's racist and not a compliment whatsoever. In FS's POV, she's complimenting her, and Yona accepts it without a second thought. Albeit very on the nose, Fluttershy's supposedly innocuous line further backs up the episode's anti-assimilation theme and, along with the rest of the coaching, made her really vulnerable to shame and distressed if she messes up. And boy, did she mess up. Surprise surprise, Yona became very ashamed and depressed, hiding in the Palace of Solace. Recall what the Tree told them four episodes ago: Within the Everfree Forest's castle ruins, this treehouse provides a safe space for anyone who needed it. After the biggest humiliation of her life, Yona needed to air her despair, and this was the best place. Her song to begin Act 3 ranks up there with The Pony I Wanna Be, Moondancer's rant, Sunset losing her memories, and Grand Pear's apology as one of the most heartbreaking moments of the entire series. However, what happened during the lowest moment of her entire life resulted in one of Pony's most heartwarming moments. Sandbar's a fine addition to the Young Six, but he's the most mellow, so he doesn't have plenty of oomph. Thankfully, he more than makes up for that by listening to her, treating her as an equal, and showing that he won't trade anything away that made her the way she was. His unconditional support for her and empathy cheered her up and reignited her self-confidence, demonstrating what helped make this show so successful: not only teaching us the Magic of Friendship, but proving it. Just to balance the perspectives more, I would've liked to see Sandbar sit inside the Palace just after the intro. That way, we get to see his insecurities a little more. But this is a nitpick, so carry on! Let's go back to Fluttershy's "well-spoken" line. Again, it's supposed to mean well, but has unintended consequences, staying true to the episode's critique of assimilation. The RM6 had absolutely no intention of leaving any non-pony out, but someday, someone was going to take these unfortunate implications to heart. Being the most emotional and vulnerable of the Y6, Yona was the perfect vessel. Even though they believed they did the right thing by trying to teach her the Fetlock Fête's traditions, they inadvertently cleansed her psychologically and culturally. They wanted nothing more than to make her happy, but not by taking away what made her so special. Apologizing to her and reassuring they love her for who she is is the right call. As for the sporadic critique of Yona and Sandbar winning the Pony Pal trophy, think about this. Once more, as Yona suffered the deepest humiliation of her life, Sandbar offered his ears, patience, and a proverbial shoulder for comfort. His actions embody the School of Friendship's values; they more than deserved that award. In addition, cleaning up meant they had plenty of time to rethink the Amity Ball's purpose. Why did they change the award's name and dress one of the pony statues up as a yak? To symbolize how friendship crosses boundaries and cultures. Thanks to their own mistakes, they can improve the Amity Ball to include everyone much better. Look at how everyone joined in her Yakyakistan Stomp. They show how much she means to them. For the ponies, this will be a lesson in working with non-ponies to make the School of Friendship and its activities feel more welcoming. Given the show's flaw of ponies sometimes acting as the savior to non-ponies, it's a long-time coming for the show to not only address this problem, but flip it to make the ponies learn this lesson. Also, if you believe this episode's moral is "be yourself" and a near-copycat of past episodes, such as Common Ground, you're overlooking the nuances. Common Ground's are to not use bitterness to isolate someone from being part of a family and to not pretend you have to follow a passion to bond with someone. The primary lesson from She's All Yak is not to feel like you have to erase your own identity to belong. They're not the same. Pony's on a hot streak. Since Matter of Principals, they haven't released one mediocre or bad episode, and aside from a rare fine one, they're all good to really good. So far, every season 9 episode is really good at least, and this is the fourth great one in a row. I'm unsure how well it'll age over time, but today, all I need to say is that She's All Yak is sneakily great and could (hopefully) land near the top of S9's best episodes
  16. 8 points
    They say that the right thing to do, is always the hardest. It's difficult to take in, but it's true. As we all know, Season 9 is indeed the final season of MLP: Friendship is Magic. The premiere will be airing on April 6 -- April 7 in my time zone, which is conveniently on my birthday. I've been pretty evasive on conveying my opinion on the matter, but I feel that it's finally time. I'm not a sappy person, but I can't guarantee anything for this entry. I've only been apart of the fandom for one and a half years, yet I feel like I've known the characters for my whole life. My interest in it may not be the same as it used to be, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't impact my life in some way. If I hadn't watched this show, I would have never joined this forum, nor would I have met the amazing people on here. Ponies turned my life around. Is that an exaggeration? Perhaps, but it's true to an extent. I was once an angry person. I liked picking fights and treated others poorly. It was all likely the result of being picked on when I was younger, but I still hated myself on the inside. Eventually I chose to change myself as a person. It didn't happen overnight, as it was a long task that pushed me to my limits. Around that time was when I first watched Friendship is Magic. I had known about it and the fandom for at least two years prior, but I had no intention in joining it, as certain mediums had a left a sour taste in my mouth. I don't know what it was, but once I watched it, I was hooked. I'm not going to say that watching it suddenly transformed me into a different person and I became a superstar who saves puppies from fires. I'd be lying out of my teeth. What it did do, was that it made the journey a whole lot easier - a form of escapism from a harsh reality, if you will. Of course negatives were a given. I lost friends and was often made fun of for my interest in a program considered too girly for me - I'm a teenager who plays video games and shaves almost every day, which apparently means that I'm not allowed to expand my horizons or interests. At the end of the day they're not worth it, but I still feel like I'm held responsible in some sense. Despite all this, I still stand as a changed man. My life may still not be perfect, but I'm a lot happier than I once was. Alas, it all must come to an end. A lot of us are bummed out, but it is for the greater good. It's always better to end on a high note, rather than when everyone is begging for it to end. I've been saying this for a while, but now that it's all confirmed, it definitley hits like a punch to the stomach. Still, it's something that we have to take and we must learn to let go. Season 9 has yet to begin and even so, who knows what Generation 5 could bring to the table. I'm willing to give it a chance nevertheless and I'm sure that more memories can be made from it. For the record, I don't plan on leaving the forum anytime soon. As far as I'm concerned, I'll be around for some time so you'll have to continue to bear with me. Anyways, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, so I'll stick to the point. I will never forget the friends and memories I've made on here, nor will I forget the characters in the show. To me, they're also my friends and will forever be. The curtain may be closing, but the memories will never fade. Thank you everyone.
  17. 8 points
    I've decided to try my hand at digital art and figured I'd throw a little something together to keep track of my progress. Don't expect much, as I'm pretty much starting from zero. I'll try to keep this updated every week or two for as long as my desire to continue improving persists. And that's, well, I suppose that's it. Please be kind. This one's really just me getting used to my new drawing tablet, trying to copy an already existing picture. I think you're familiar with the original. (I didn't leave enough room at the top and it got a little squished )
  18. 8 points
    Think about it though.
  19. 8 points
    Long long ago, I was a lost child. Not physically lost, but, I came across these forums. It was always great and grand to me, and it has been so long since I have seen this place. Back in the day, I was filled with old spite and anger about various drama related issues which I will not share as THAT is a long story, a story which I hope never re-tells itself again. Now I will explain why I left. I left because I was tired of this place, I even hated and despised myself, and the place in general as I left this place. I didn't want to be around ponies, I didn't want to be around people who made this place not enjoyable for me. During the time I left, so much has happened. My 10th grade year has changed my experiences and outlook on things in general, I've made new friends and stayed with old. But what is true, is the fact that things have changed. I can not really say if things have changed for the better or worse, though one of my best friends got homeschooled a few months ago and I have not seen him irl since, I've been talking with him over discord though. Everything has changed, simply put. My classes are far different, with different people but all the same, yet. 10th grade has been super easy compared to 9th grade, oddly enough. I have loads of free time in school and out of school though I find myself occupied with what to do, and so that lead me on a search to find friends, roleplayers, and other things on different discord servers. In the past few months, I have probably joined and left dozens of them, sifting through the cancer of this world's internet has to offer. I've seen horrible things, and wonderful things alike. I've met horrible people, and great people. I've made friends and lost some. I've renewed myself, and shed my skin of the old cancerous drama I used to cause. I used to hang out with people, from a few years ago on certain servers. Those communities fell apart, I am truly on my own and am making my own decisions for myself. If I make mistakes, I right them, if I make rights, I make sure they stay right. I've gotten angry at many people, been happy with others with my time, outside of this forum. I have not even seen this forum in more than 3 months, and it already looks different and has a completely different outlook. Another reason why I left, is since everything was so soft and cuddly, while I can be soft and cuddly, too much of a good thing, is a bad thing. I've made much progress with my crushes, talking to them, being with them, etc. Much more than I thought was possible, I've been doing great in school, too. The summer of 2018 was the best time for me, on these forums. I've never had anything better than that, in a long time, a long time indeed. And now I intend to stay, or at least not leave for so long. I feel sorry for leaving my old friends behind, but here they are, still welcoming me in as their own. I am the same, but different. Enough about the past, here has been today: Today was...interesting. In my geometry class, we watched a movie called the christmas chronicles. It was great. One of my almost crushes and my other friend took a test they missed, and in my study hall friends and I played club penguin. Out in the halls, there was a group of girls singing along with a teacher and I watched them, it was almost like church singing in a way. We finished the grinch movie in my german class, the concept of an entire world, on a spot of a snowflake, one town in 'billions of kilometers' of snow and ice...just fascinated me. For my gym class, we played badminton and I played with various friends and screwed around. Eventually the day was over and as I walked out, I looked up at the overcast sky, every detail in the sky I saw, it was strange, surreal. And then, a tear fell down from my eye as I imagined my dead relatives looking down on me. Also, my crush of Emma and her friends, were singing a song...the song I was thinking of, when they started singing. It was the american national anthem, the long version. I looked at the flag, and I was proud. Proud of what we are, and proud of what we can become. So...strange how they sung exactly what I was thinking about. I feel proud of our nation of America, I love it with all my heart and it will get better as things always do. I get very angry when I feel its being attacked, and I really don't like discussions about politics on a forum for PONIES and FRIENDS. Just my 2 cents on that, take it if you want, I don't really mind. For the future, I intend to value my time, and be the best I can be on here. Tomorrow I will hopefully get a new computer chair, time will tell what I get for christmas. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for leaving all of you behind.
  20. 7 points
    It's been a while since my last post in here. Motivation's been hard to come by, that and the fact that I ended up making a pretty complicated drawing made this one take quite a while. But anyway, clothes. Clothes/Dresses are a thing now (and apparently swords). Here's a thing.
  21. 7 points
    In my last piece, I argued that immortality wouldn't be the blessing that it's cracked up to be, but rather a curse. Today, I tackle the opposite side of the same coin: suicide. My thoughts about suicide are quite simple. I have always believed very firmly in complete bodily autonomy. I believe that your body is the only thing you can ever truly own in the purest sense. No one can tell you what you can and can't do with your own body as long as you're not infringing on the rights of others. Laws that prohibit suicide are paradoxical and unethical, as you have an immutable right to bodily autonomy. You do not owe your body nor your life to anyone else, nor to any deity. You do not have a responsibility nor duty to life. Your life is your own. It is yours to do with what you will, including end it if you wish. Now, full disclosure: I suffer from clinical depression, and I have been suicidal in the past. However, I do not believe that this has clouded my views and compromised my judgement. Quite the contrary, in fact--I believe it has given me a clearer perspective. I briefly touched on suicide in The Ethics of Life. If you read that, then you already know that I believe it's unethical to create conscious life, and that life isn't worth beginning, though once begun, is usually worth continuing. My thoughts on that haven't changed. I believe that life is worth continuing so long as you personally feel that the pros outweigh the cons. However, (and I say this with the utmost consideration and discretion) there are some cases for which suicide is the answer. I would never encourage suicide, but I have also never been one to judge or hate anyone for it. There are many very good reasons to fight for your life and continue it, but one of the most often used platitudes isn't one of them. One of the common defenses for life is the claim that "something is better than nothing," that "no matter how bad or painful your life is, it is better than no life at all." This is demonstrably false. (If you've read The Ethics of Life, it will be far easier to follow the plot, here.) As I have previously argued, the state of nothingness, of non-existence, is not unpleasant, as most people imagine it to be. That would be impossible. Nothing is, by definition, nothing. It features no consciousness, no feeling at all. It isn't bad, because there is no one to experience it. Death will feel just as it did before you were conceived. In other words, you won't know that you're dead once you're dead. This means that death is actually preferable to any negative state. A painful life is not better than no life. It is worse. In fact, at any given moment, non-existence would technically be preferable to any negative or painful state, no matter how trivial. This means that death would be preferable to a stubbed toe. If one were to create a linear spectrum of all possible conscious experiences, with positive ones being greater than zero, and negative ones being less than zero, then death would be better than everything less than zero. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Far from it. In fact, death is in the middle. It's dead center (ha, see what did there?). It's at zero. It's the neutral state between pain and pleasure. Any amount of pain, no matter how small, is worse than death, because death is devoid of all feeling. However, HOWEVER... before you start screeching at me, I completely agree that life is far more complex than that. The reason that I would never advocate suicide for a stubbed toe is quite simply because we know that pain and negative states usually pass, and the benefits and positive states that await us are usually worth sticking around for. For the vast majority of people the vast majority of the time, the pros outweigh the cons, and the pleasure on the horizon is worth enduring the pain for. When I say that death is worse than any amount of pain, I'm speaking in a philosophical sense about a single instant in time. I'm not taking into account our complex emotions, and the desire to weather the storm so that we may be around to enjoy the sunny skies. When considering those things, it is clear that for almost all of us, our lives are typically worth continuing. Now, technically, potential happiness doesn't actually matter, because whenever it is that we die, we won't know or care about anything in the future that we missed out on. We won't exist to miss it. All that really matters is the present, but again, our minds and lives are more complicated than that; we almost never live completely in the present, so to speak. Our feelings and desires matter, too, and most of us want to live, to be around to see what joys might await us. When we get through the hard times and find some happiness again, almost all of us generally feel that the pain was worth enduing, and we're glad we did so. We're typically willing to see the hardship through, and that matters as well. As long as you want to live, then life is worth continuing. It's also worth noting, of course, that we're all interconnected, and suicide usually devastates those around you, and that fact must be considered carefully before taking such a drastic step. I always discourage suicide and encourage people to keep trying. We'll all be dead before we know it, and most of the time, people are glad that they stuck it out for as long as possible. There's usually enough small joys to make it worth it. As long as there's a greater-then-zero chance of experiencing some happiness, as long as there's any hope at all, then I'll recommend continuing on and trying. Even in the midst of agony, if there's any shred of doubt, any small part of you that isn't sure you want to die, then you should continue life, because the pain will probably pass, and at some point in the future, you'll find yourself laughing again and feeling glad that you're still here. I always advocate trying for as long as you can--try for yourself, for your family, and for your friends. You'll probably be glad you did. And yet, I would never tell someone that no matter how bad your life is, it is better than no life at all. That's just a lie. It's trivially easy to imagine a life worse than death. There are some people who suffer so greatly, and with no hope of improvement, that suicide may in fact be the best option. I've never known anyone for whom I would recommend suicide, but I could imagine it. If someone's life is unending agony, and there is absolutely no chance of improvement, or if someone's torment is so unbearable that weathering the storm isn't worth it at all, then suicide may be a completely reasonable choice. Ultimately, no matter the reasons, I would never condemn someone for choosing to end their life. It's their life, and their choice. And that brings me to my final and most important point: I don't think we should ever judge, blame, or hate people for committing suicide. Many people assert that suicide is absolutely unacceptable under any circumstances. They say that it is a cowardly way out, and that it must never be considered no matter how bad one's life is. Many people also argue from a religious position, saying that your life is sacred and somehow doesn't belong to you, but rather to some heavenly creator, and therefore you do not have a right to end it. I believe that these are dangerous and harmful mindsets which only make it harder for depressed people to get the help they need. I reject the religious arguments, obviously, and I think that the stigmas surrounding suicide just make it harder to talk about. When suicide is deemed unacceptable and made taboo, is just makes people more scared to come forth and talk about it, which makes them bottle things up, and often attempt suicide without ever talking to anyone. I believe that the stigmas surrounding suicide directly lead to more suicides. If suicide was destigmatized, even to the point of making it officially legal (which I would support), then people considering it would be much more apt to talk about it and get the help they need. I believe that if suicide was destigmatized and talked about more, then it would directly lead to fewer suicides. We should never condemn anyone for such a choice. Instead, we should be understanding, compassionate, and respectful. In order to fight and prevent suicide, we need to be able to talk about it, and I believe that the first step is to stop judging and condemning people for suicide, and start respecting the fact that, tragic though it may often be, it is an immutable, inborn right.
  22. 7 points
    Hey, guys Over recent years, I have been admitted to the adult psychiatric unit a total of four times. My first admission was in 2014, the second was in 2016, the third was in 2018, and fourth time were this year; 2018-2019 (stay was from late December to early January). I am going to share my most recent hospitalization experience with you. This is not an attempt to obtain attention but rather an opportunity to educate others on how psychiatric hospitals function and assist their patients. I know that there are still people out there who automatically assume that all psychiatric patients are immediately put in a straight jacket and locked in a padded cell. I realize that stereotype has died down lately but I wanted to share anyway. On December 27th, 2018, I was feeling very depressed. A certain event triggered this intense flood of emotions. I knew that I needed help so I made my way to the nearest hopsital that accepted my insurance. Before I arrived, however, I got a phone call from my father. He told me to turn around and come home immediately and questioned why I left. I told him why and he said: "You will be much safer at home than at any hospital". He didn't understand. Even so, I listened to him and came home. I didn’t want an argument to ensue. I was hoping that I could sleep off my negative emotions. I was wrong, though because I felt the same the next day if not worse. There was no improvement. I went to see my psychiatrist and she recommended that I go to the hospital. She talked with my parents and they all agreed. I came home, packed my things, and my mom drove me; dropping me off at the ER. I told the receptionist what my reason for arriving was. They took my vitals and then I was escorted to a temporary room where they took blood to run lab work. I was then escorted to another room where they took my clothes and belongings away...except for my phone. The nurse forgot to take it. (For those of you who didn’t know, pretty much all psychiatric hospitals cease your cell phone early on). Because of the forgetfulness, I was able to talk to my friends through Facebook messenger to help keep me calm. (I had to hide my phone everytime I was checked on). A crisis intervention worker talked to me and asked me all sorts of questions. This was my fourth run there so I knew what was going to be asked. I told her that I had intent of suicide and a plan. She relayed all of the information to a psychiatrist to determine if I should be admitted or not. I was in that room for nearly eight hours. That's how long it took for things to be decided (that's typical, though because I once spent ten hours waiting). I was told that the psychiatric unit was full and that I would have to be transported by ambulance to a sister hospital. The paramedics drove me there, which took about one hour (I still had my phone, mind you). I arrived at the new hospital and it was now rocking 6:00am. I was brought to their psychiatric floor and was passed onto a nurse that worked on that same floor. She sat me down and went through the rules with me. Breakfast started at 7:30am Medications at 9:00am Group therapy at 10:00 Lunch at 11:00am Group therapy again at 1:00pm Contraband check at 2:00pm Free time until 5:00pm (dinner) Visiting from 6:00pm-8:00pm Free time until 10:00pm (lights out) Unlike the hospital I was originally brought to and had my first three stays at, this location didn't allow wearing of civilian clothing. Patients were required to wear light green scrubs. Of course, they were huge on me. Side note: contraband checks took place randomly throughout the day. Ya know, looking for shanks and such. The nurses were not that friendly. I tried to avoid contact with them. They were very slow when it came to needs/requests of a patient. I was having withdrawals from stopping my previous medications and I felt very sick. I told a nurse this and they didn't get me an antinausea medications until six hours later. I was careful to observe the other patient's requests and half of them were never fulfilled. Trash staff... My mom called me every day. As the days went on, however, I felt more and more homesick. My third or fourth day in, I broke down in my room, crying. I was very upset. I was given a sedative to settle down. I met with my assigned psychiatrist every day. He took me off all of my original medications with the exception of one and put me on all new ones. He put me on seroquel 300mg, lexapro 10mg, and depakote 1,000mg (yes, 1,000). I noticed an improvement right away. I felt better. The psychiatrist told me that I was the worst case of self injury he had ever seen. My wounds had to be documented with photos to ensure I didn't hurt myself again during my stay. I had to strip down for that and it was super embarrassing. Like I said before, I was put in the only room with cameras and no doors (the light peaked in at night so it was hard to sleep). And in case you didn't know, the beds in the psych ward are not comfortable. The blankets have the texture of a beach towel, the bed sheets are some sort of plastic, and the pillows are tiny (I only need one pillow to sleep so that was okay). Not only did they not allow for regular clothes, but also my face wash because it contains alcohol (they don't want patients getting intoxicated by consuming things with alcohol). My face felt so...not clean. I refused to shower there because the shower was obviously not cleaned regularly. All they did was spray some Lysol in between each shower. I went five days without showering. I know that's gross but I'd rather not shower than use one that was used by strangers with God only knows what bacteria they are spreading. My dad actually came to visit me one day. This was surprising because he was not happy that I was admitted. When he came to see me, he was supportive and happy to see me. It was nice even though he only stayed for 45 minutes. A friend offered to see me but I didn't want anyone to see me without makeup (my dad was the exception because he sees me like that all of the time at home). My bathroom was incredibly small (as they usually are) but mine was especially small. I barely had any room to put my tooth brush down on the sink. I had the option to put it on the floor or the toilet seat. Oh, about the sink, you had to keep constant pressure on a button for the water to flow. It made brushing my teeth very difficult. They seriously make these rooms as safe as possible. I wish I could have taken photos but they finally snatched my phone once I initially arrived. I can't believe it took them so long to realize that they forgot to take it. I usually make friends when I'm on that floor but most of the patients were older men. I talked to them a little bit not much. We did watch the movie Cast Away together though. Everyone had to agree on a channel, by the way. You couldn't just watch whatever you wanted. I met some interesting people... There was a woman who had a broken ankle and she was confined to a wheelchair. She had immense anger issues. One day, she blew up on a nurse because she couldn't find her shampoo. She shouted at her, cussed at her, spit on her, and threatened to hurt her. Security had to be called in to cease her. It was funny but it was also crazy. Oh, I forgot to mention, remember when I said that I arrived at 6:00am & that breakfast was at 7:00am? Yeah, I didn't get to sleep. I went straight into the day. When I took my new medication, I crashed like a train. I had never felt so tired; not in my life. I barely made it to my room. I was so sedated the next day. My speech was slurred, my vision was blurry, I walked slow, my reaction time was altered, I forgot where I was, and I had no appetite. I was so out of it that I could not function. Taking new antipsychotics can seriously fuck you up. I wanted to sleep but I was forced to eat and attend group therapy. I was upset. They didn't understand how fatigued I was. Thankfully, the sedation wore off by the next day. My body got used to the medicines pretty quick. Remember when I mentioned depikote? Yeah, that is a serious medication. It's usually only given to people who are in bad, bad shape mentally (it can also be used to treat seizures). It can also cause liver damage so I had to get my liver values checked evert other day. I don't know if any of you remember this about me but I tend to faint when I have my blood taken. A phlebotomist came to take my blood one morning and as soon as he pulled the needle out of my vein, my vision went blank, I felt hot, and my hands had that prickly feeling when a part of your body falls asleep. I could barely speak but I managed to ask for some water. The man said he would get me some but guess what? I didn't get any. I had to wait until I was back to normal to get some. This hospital was so neglectful. A patient had fainted right in front of a staff member and nothing was done about it (I was already in a bed to begin with so that was good 👍) The food was actually pretty decent and you had a lot of options from a menu. Hahaha, I was excited to eat everyday!  I was discharged on January 5th, 2019...I believe. Psychiatric units are only meant to stabilize you; not necessarily treat. So I was still pretty unhinged at this time. As part of my discharge plan, I was forced to attend an outpatient group therapy program Monday-Friday from 8:30am-3:00pm to become mentally healthy again. This was used to actually treat me. I did that for about a month until I was seen as stable enough to be discharged. Today, I am in a much better position. I have a brand new, positive outlook on life. I have more motivation than ever. I plan on continuing to improve my life by attending regular therapy. Not everyone who goes to a psychiatric hospital is insane. Sometimes, people just need to be put in a safe place until intense emotions subside. They will probably never go to another hospital again! My hope is that the negative stigma behind mental health issues will eventually disappear.
  23. 7 points
    This is a message to some of my fellow (mostly) staff members who were there when I was originally appointed as staff: @Yellow Diamond @Troblems @Fhaolan @Jeric @Dark Horse @PathfinderCS @Randimaxis First off, let me give a big thanks to you all. I know that, in the beginning, I was a bit of a mess. Okay, a pretty big mess... I was young and definitely not as mature as I thought I was. I made some mistakes and ended up creating a bleak history for myself. However, even after those events, I was still accepted on board as a staff member. I was given the truest benefit of the doubt (I don’t know who it was the originally spoke up for me but I want to thank them even if they are gone). I want to thank you guys for giving me to the opportunity to be a fellow staff member. It has always been my goal to help MLP Forums be the best it can be and I am truly thankful for you guys believing in me. I have grown so much since I was hired. I have learned patience, understanding, and how to be more confident in my own abilities (shout out to all of you for answering my sometimes stupid questions). Please know that I will continue to work hard and learn. I will forever be thankful for this opportunity. First, as a sectional, then a moderator, and now an administrator... I can’t believe it. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. Even if you think i’m still that “mess”, I can assure you that I will only continue to improve
  24. 7 points
    It's been a while since my last blog entry, but now is a perfect time to say a few (well actually a lot of words) about my brief but overall enjoyable time here on these forums. I've been a MLP fan for 4 years now I think and my first experience of was seeing Celestia and Luna in a video about the Top 10 Non-Disney Princesses and they were both number 5 on the list. At the time, I didn't think much of the show or the fandom, and just sort of brushed it off like it was nothing and didn't really pay attention to it. Then, when the video actually talked about Celestia and Luna, I was actually surprised by the things they could do and how they both had a rough and difficult past. I never expected a show like this to have such a powerful kind of plot and it started to peak my interest. So, I did a Google search of Celestia and Luna and realized how pretty both of them were. Then, mostly out of curiosity, I looked up an episode of the show that centered around the two of them and "A Royal Problem" was the first MLP episode I watched. I didn't know who Twilight or Starlight was at the time, so I just skimmed the episode for moments of just the two princesses and it actually got a laugh out of me a few times. Then, three years of these two princesses (and later Queen Chrysalis), I wanted to find some topics on these forums about the two of them so I could discuss it with other people and see what they thought. At first, that was the only reason I created my account on here, just so I could partake the conversation about Celestia and Luna. And yeah, I did post a Celestia and Luna in the Welcoming Plaza, but that was only because I didn't really know what it was at the time. And when I created my welcome post, I wanted everyone to know that Celestia and Luna were my favorite ponies ever. When I first joined, I didn't know what to do and didn't think I was going to make that many friends on here. I decided to consult some veterans of the site and get some advice from them: Make some friends, react to other people's posts and generally just be a friendly and nice person, which I always am. And let me tell you, I took that advice to heart and did exactly that. As I started to make a name for myself and gained a few followers, I saw that I could make my own status updates and decided that I wanted all of the forums to know how awesome Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis were. I saw that I could post pictures and since I had an entire folder of Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis pics, I thought: "What better way to express my love for these three than through some pictures?" And after that, it sort of just became my thing and all my posts would always have picture/song/video in place of just words, because to me, just saying the words I want to say wouldn't be enough and that it would be kind of boring. Then, a few days later after I joined, something incredible happened! I went to my profile and saw that I had won an award for most liked content within a single day. I did this after just EIGHT days here on the forums, something I never thought would happen. And then I saw that I had won another day, and the day after that, and the day after that. FIVE whole days in a row I had won that award and I was absolutely flabbergasted. Was I really this popular already? In such a short amount of time? It was unreal! But, then again, I couldn't have gotten this far without the support and friendship of all my followers and friends on here. All of them are just so friendly and nice and I'm glad that I got to meet and talk with all of them. I will never forget all of the amazing friends that I've made on here and I hope that they will remember me. A few honorable mentions for people who are just the best on here: @Tacodidra @Twilight Luna @Rikifive @PoisonClaw @Phosphor @Lord Valtasar @TheTaZe @Mellow Mane @Mirage @Twilight and Starlight @lyrabetes3939 You all and so many other people on here will always be my greatest friends and I hope that all of you are always doing well. And now here I am, only 9 months after I joined, and now how have 76 followers, over 10000 brohoofs, 39 days won and countless awesome and amazing friends. It has been a wild and crazy ride and I never could have made it this far without all of you. Thank you all for everything!
  25. 7 points
    As the title pun suggests, this week I've been working pretty much exclusively on drawing hair detail in manes and tails. I've had. . . well, mostly failures. But I had one success. Sure it doesn't look fantastic, but considering how hard hair is and I've only just started with it, I'm really really happy with it. I think a few of you have seen this one already, but let's see it again anyway.
  26. 7 points
    One Year Retrospect Good evening everypony! So, one year ago on this day, I took my first step into The Herd and oh what a journey it has been! To honor this moment, I decided I'd reflect upon this past year to share some of my experiences and take the time to say a special thank you to some awesome pony friends that I've met along the way. Background I want to start with a little background on how I got here to begin with. A story I shared in my Introduction, but that was a year ago so it's probably long buried. When the first season of FiM premiered, I did actually watch the first five episodes. I found the two part beginning quite intriguing that gave me the vibe of a show that might be along the lines of Sailor Moon, Card Captors or any of the many magic girl anime the west was being introduced to at the time. After finding out through the next three episodes that the show was less about the Elements of Harmony super powers, I lost interest. Too busy with college, my WoW addiction and other fandom interests to add another. As time passed, I knew the Brony Fandom grew as a thing. Seeing them pop up around campus and of course the peak moments that hit 4Chan like a wrecking ball. I remained indifferent about it, not knowing any Bronies personally at the time and being part of another obscure fandom, had learned to accept others for what they like. Fast forward to, well, a year ago and work had taken me overseas. Now I wont say they were dark days or that I slipped into depression, but I will say that I could feel the isolation. Family and friends that my whole life I've been use to talking to everyday, or gaming with everyday after work/school, were all now on the other side of the planet. As I was going to work, they were coming home from work, when I was getting ready for bed, they were just waking up. Only leaving the narrow two days on the weekend anytime to do anything with them. Getting to know the ones I worked with though I actually met my first Brony, well face to face anyways. He was really shy and introverted, but we shared many other interests that helped break the ice pretty quickly. And apparently I'd been the first person he'd talk to in a long time that wasn't bothered by his pony interest, still pretty indifferent. Talking more and more with him though, I decided to do a little research on what the fandom was doing these days. Then I stumbled across a documentary on YouTube called The Brony Chronicles - A Documentary on My Little Pony and Bronies by Saberspark. It was really well made, with the most catchy intro song ever, and managed to get me to take a second look at the show, which was luckily all on Netflix. Giving it a real shot this time, I got hooked easily. Even though I am a late bloomer to the fandom, I wouldn't say I regret not picking it up earlier. I actually prefer to think FiM entered my life when I best needed it. I didn't need anything complex, but what it really came down to, is that the show did something so simple... It just made me smile. Next thing I knew, I was plowing through the episodes. So many funny moments, smiles, emotional strings, stories and characters I just couldn't put it down. The Herd I hadn't quite finished the first season when I reached out to the community and found the MLP Forums. I made my Introduction post, but wasn't expecting much. I'd joined other fandom forums before, all of which that went un-replied to with maybe a couple of views. To my surprise though, I was getting responses within minutes of me posting, and for days after ponies were still welcoming me to The Herd. I was shocked, stunned of not seeing anything like this in my many years. This really kept my interest though, so I stuck around. Lurking the forums and making a post here and there. Whether about the show or other topics, nothing too deep. Still trying to find my hoofs though I finally settled into the Cloudsdale Colosseum Forum Games section and just hopped around playing in as many as I good between breaks at work or whatever game I was playing at home. Still though, I quite hadn't felt I found my place yet. Over the course of a week I was noticing this one topic kept popping up with Hot Topic and always at the top of Recently Posted In, but had no idea what it even meant. That is when I discovered the WPCC. I drink coffee and was a working pony, it just kinda made sense. This is where I met probably the first pony I really engaged with. Our most glorious and best princess of all, Princess @Alexshy! She was so kind to welcome me to the WPCC and really opened up a whole new world in the forums to me. Before I knew it, I was logging in for my morning cup of coffee and I had these three other ponies, @The Recherche @Mirage @Flutterstep, quickly rushing me along to change my avatar into a DJ Pon3 one and jump into somepony's status page for a dance party where we link music and commented on them. I didn't even know these three very well, but there were already including me, it was awesome! So for many months, I spent a lot of time in the WPCC where I met so really awesome ponies. It was a lot of fun where it peaked into extreme chaos while how active it became, luckily when I got on so I could join in, but sadly like most things, came to an end as many moved on. Many of the friends I made through the WPCC have gone inactive, but I continue to wish them the best and enjoyment of purple ponies. I now have most my fun just posting in status updates. I've enjoyed many of the forum events, so great kudos to the staff ponies for putting those together, especially the holiday ones. I'm also quite grateful to have been a part of Team Moon and all the fun we've had this year for the Championship. Overall, I've really loved the show and there isn't a better fandom community I can think of that matches this one. I've loved the fan art and had a hoof of pieces commissioned that I couldn't see myself really doing for my other fandoms. Special Thanks Now I know I won't manage to get everypony that's had an impact on my time in the community, but if you're booped every Friday by me, then know that you have. I might not have had enough time to get to know you enough, but hope I will in the future. I do want to say some special thank yous to those that helped make the last year at least 200% cooler! No.. That's not a typo. First to the regal Princess @Alexshy for accepting me into the WPCC and making me one of her Night Watch. To the most fabulous @The Recherche and his best coffee ever, also super active in the WPCC so I always had a pony to talk to. To the mystical @Mirage and all the fun DJ Pon3 dance parties we had. To the tail nomming @Flutterstep for all the treats and status page to throw said parties. To @CypherHoof for being the best coffee senpai. To the adorkable @Wannabrony and being the best purple pone. To @Fluttershy Friend for making sure I have my correct dose of Fluttershy kindness. To @Longhaul, yeah I see you sneak on every now and then, and being the best Night Watch Bro. To @Blitz Boom for the amazing RP on the forums, (Sorry the reply will be delayed so I could work on this.) To @Lord Valtasar for the chats and newly converted naan bread lover. To @Tacolantern for the daily chat and dose of best earth pone. To @AJ2489 for my dose of Apples. To @Rarity the Supreme, oh by the by ya'll, this is who ya'll can blame for your weekly dose of boops, they got me hooked long ago. To @Rikifive for bringing the power! To @Sparklefan1234 for the daily status updates that give a fun head scratchier and awe moments. To @Vintjack Greasymane and @Nightfall Thunder for being part of the Blue Pony group and all the parties we put together for the WPCC. To @Twilight Luna for all the conversations, muffins, coffee and best pones you make sure I'm never a day without. And to the most sweet muffin, Move-Over-Raindbow Dash-A-More-Best-Weather-Pone-Is-Here @TheTaZe. Also a special shout out to Sgtwaflez, he isn't on the forums, for making me take a second look at the show. Thank you. Phew, out of breath. But really, thank you all so much for being as awesome as ya'll are. And to anypony that is on my boop list. Whether I met you in the WPCC or being one of those nice individuals that welcomed me in the beginning or even some of the new friends I met in status pages. I look forward to getting to know some of ya'll better. Here's to a great first year, and for another great year to follow!
  27. 7 points
    I was debating on making this a blog post or a status update but felt that a thread will just do. We are upon the end days of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic but does that mean that we should give up on the show after it ends after this Season? Absolutely not, I think we should use the time of this last season to celebrate everything about the pony fandom. So, don't be sad that it is over, be glad about our legacy and impact on the internet. Here is some videos to hit you right in the feels.
  28. 7 points
    I'm just gonna be rambiling a bit here. Here are my thoughts on what I think about how the pony fandom will fare in 2019. It isn't a secret the pony fandom has been aging since this is the 9th year that the pony fandom has been in existence. The show itself is ending and with that a lot of the fandom will also probably drop off until G5 becomes a thing. Even after six years, I am still very into ponies. I go onto derpibooru daily to look at pony art, I come here pretty much daily and pretty much all my online profiles around the internet are still ponified. For me, I don't want to change my online persona from ponies because I just feel really comfortable with that. There really isn't anything at the moment has captured my attention as much as ponies have right now, but when that time comes I will never forget the pony fandom. Yes, we all have to move on one day but my time isn't there yet. My interests of right now mostly center around video games, music, and ponies. If there was anything that would change my internest from ponies, it may as well be music. I personally don't care about the stigma that being a brony comes with. I enjoy what I enjoy and people who don't like that can just heck off. Ponies have brought me from the brink of suicide many times now and I am very grateful for that. I am not going to lie though, seeing the pony fandom die off slowly does kill me a bit inside since I am still very interested in ponies and pony related content. Seeing one of my favorite interests slowly die off is disheartening, but I will prevail. When I think about it, I may as well be one of those people who still be very into ponies in the next five years. Unless there is something big that captures my attention by then, I don't think ponies are going to go anywhere for me anytime soon.
  29. 7 points
    I feel so empty. Yet full of emotion. Like the smallest thing could push me over the edge. What are you supposed to when there's nothing but pain left inside you? What if everything we were looking for only existed in our dreams? How do you explain something, when you can't even understand yourself? It's almost scary, isn't it? The way that sadness doesn't only settle in your body, but the way it completely takes over every part of you. The fact that, even when you're happy, that sadness is still there, lurking throughout your body, just waiting to show itself yet again. I don't know to tell you that I'm broken, without feeling needy or selfish. I don't know how to open up, without feeling judged. I don't know how to cry, when my tears feel like acid. I just need you to see that I'm hurting, without me telling you. My words are bleeding out, waiting for you to make me fine although I know that's not your job, and that you're better off without me.
  30. 7 points
    For most of my life, I've been keeping things to myself. I was always afraid of what others would think of me from my previous experiences. I don't want anypony to think of me in a bad way. That's why I've been keeping my secrets to myself. And that's what I think makes me so unlikable. I just don't want anypony to think badly of me. At the same time, I feel like I'm hoping for something that will never happen. And feeling hopeless and full of despair is just a slower way of being dead. Right now, after I returned to the forums, my mind is stuck in a debate if it is worth living anymore or to just end it all. The confusion scares me. The ponies I have met are here so nice, yet the outside world is horrible... When I don't know which way to turn, slowly I fall. I was actually afraid of having friends again, and I didn't expect ponies to even get to know me that well. I didn't even think they would acknowledge me. I didn't even think I would get noticed. I didn't even think I would be visible to them in the forums. This is because I am extremely paranoid of my last experience with having friends, because they betrayed me. That's why I am so nervous and socially awkward around new ponies. I'm actually scared of making friends, because I don't want to lose another one. The feeling is unbearable of not being good enough for them. I remember my stomach dropped, a huge headache kicked in as so many thoughts rushed through my mind, and my heart was broken for days. It's sad how they claimed to love and care for me, and yet they replaced me so quickly. I was forgotten. I gave up on almost everything, from school and work to Xbox and drawing, and life itself. I was broken. I was scared of how much pain I would cause others. "Didn't they like me? Was I not nice to them? Did I do anything mean?" So many thoughts rushed through my head for the last 5 years. I had no friends for the longest time. No one to talk to. No one to understand me. No one to be there for me. I am liked by other ponies here, and for some reason, I still don't know why they would care for me. Am I really that likeable? Am I really caring? I don't know. But what I do know, is that I am so grateful for their kindness, and that's something I would never forget. But the thing is, I don't think I would ever get better. Seeing them care for such a hopeless pony like me, breaks my heart at the same time... Most of my life I had been In a state of confusion, despair, fear and trauma. Hopeless, but hoping.
  31. 7 points
    It's been a while ~ As you may know, I've been working on the pause menu. When it was ready, I was able to configure/update existing features, as well as add new ones to make it all work properly. So now I have bunch of updates! First of all, let's start with that Pause Menu I've been working on for a while I believe everything there is self-explanatory. If you're wondering how many languages will be supported - by 'default' I aim into supporting these two: English and Polish. However! I'm programming the game in a way, where all the text is stored in external .ini files and visuals are adjusted based on the text's real width where necessary, which should make it less painful to translate, so if anybody would be ever interested in translating the game to another language, there always will be that possibility. ------ but that all will come in the right time... or not... I'll see how it goes. The next thing, related to the Pause Menu is Spell Enhancing. In short, you get some-kind-of-magic stars through leveling up. These stars are used to enhance (upgrade) spells. Enhancing may: - increase damage - amount of projectiles - their duration - their speed - their size - "Area of Effect" - add special effects - or even change spell behavior - etc.. Each spell is different, so are their upgrades. For example, I've prepared a some kind of a tier table for the basic spell, the magic projectile: And now the recent thing I've been working on... Leveling UP now raises stats and stuff. Previously leveling up wasn't doing anything other than increasing your "Level" value. Now it does have an effect, as seen below: I also did some smaller adjustments in meanwhile, like optimizing the code here and there (including collisions ... again -- and I'm sure I'll still have to adjust these once again in the future..) ~ but that's something you won't find interesting. Oh and I also started working on the Everfree Forest. It's too early to show anything though, but sooooomething is happening there. And that's all I think... Well for some testing I also made Tom ...If Tom could throw a party, it would ROCK! An amazing addition, I'll throw it in the title. So now it's all I think. Thank you for visiting!
  32. 7 points
    Note: Credit to @Truffles, @Sparklefan1234, @PathfinderCS, and Silver-Quill for this review, which I C&P'd from here with extra edits. This review has been revised to include a little more content. Sludge may be the most hateable non-villain of the series, if not one of them with Svengallop, Garble, Zephyr, and Spoiled Rich. Garble's someone to just hate, but Sludge you love to hate. This slob knows how to con others with no remorse. He wants to lives the luxury life and make you work for it, all the while tugging the right strings to make you fall for his tricks and divide you from who you love at your most vulnerable state. While he freeloads, he's not a stereotype, as he always cleans up after himself and trades his laziness for his brains. Smart, calculating, and very manipulative, he catches himself, remains convincing, and uses Spike's want for biological parentage to bypass all doubts. Several clues indicate his scheming ways before he became more brazen: He stopped jogging on the treadmill to chug the fresh cider…with hilarious results. XD The Wonderbolts held him above them, but he won't fly until Dash lectures him. He doesn't admit to being his father until after he fully recovers (just as he's about to depart) and walks with Spike back inside. Just by his stops and gestures, he's making up his backstory as he goes along, including not answering other questions the RM5 asked, but his tale's canonically logical, and his tears sound real, adding a layer on uncertainty. Silver-Quill brings up this point. Look at the image below: In this shot, she's nearly as tall as Torch, a monster-sized dragon. In the next, she's nearly as tall as Sludge, who's much smaller than him: After his song, he cackles, cutting into Act 3. ^ The synopsis gives away a very important clue: "dad" and "real" are in skeptical quotes. Dismisses Spike after being asked if he wanted to do anything with his son and then casually accuses him of not being a "real" dragon, cutting deeply into his psyche. His name has negative connotations related to muck and sewage. Despite being clean, his personality perfectly fits his name. Because he's so conniving, I'm really glad he's not his father; if he was, he'd be a deadbeat. However, as excellent he is at crafting a façade, this leads to a few big problems I have with it, echoing from @Truffles's review, @Sparklefan1234's comment, and Discord conversations with @PathfinderCS. Spike's hurtful comeback to Twilight absolutely crushes her, but doesn't have the weight. From the beginning of Act 3, the RM6 were already suspicious of him thanks to his sleazy manipulation of Spike and major holes in his backstory previously. Unfortunately, they can't prove anything, and Spike grew so close to him that telling him the truth without being delicate risks fracturing his relationships with the ponies. They must give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't brainwash him further. Emotionally, the delivery of disappointment feels stilted, further hurting its importance. Spike doesn't truly figure out he was being used until after his conversation with Smolder, and their plan takes place off-screen. Afterwards, everything starts falling into place. Because he figured it out late and needs Smolder's off-screen advice for some closure, the pacing feels a little off. No one can blame Spike for being so disappointed with Sludge revealing to be a phony. After getting so acquainted with him, his reveal's a major slap to his face. Yet, just before it concludes, he starts getting over it and feels mostly satisfied with the only family he has. But as this and DQ demonstrate, wanting to know his family roots matters to him, and he thought he was so close to actually figuring out who his biological father is. Heck, he revealed his scroll of things to do with them and was so happy to do them. As a result, Father Knows Beast's ending feels really hollow and forced. Sludge's backstory, even with the holes, is plausible, and you can fill in the cracks with them. His sobs after telling them his story also feel real. The script and Allspark even built interesting and complex lore behind it with a very unique art style of its own, suggesting a degree of reality into his tale. At the time, he looked very sympathetic and acted like he wanted to reunite with his "lost son." So for FKB to use the Liar Revealed trope feels like a gigantic letdown, and Sludge's reveal alone is anticlimactic. Previous clues indicate he set Spike up, but one big unmentioned red flag is stating he searched everywhere for him. Why does it hurt the story? Because he never recognized Spike nor said his name until after he fully healed. It was only a matter of time before Smolder and Spike craft a plan to out himself for being the fraud that he is. I don't like to harp on predictability in FIM nowadays, because the journey determines the episode's success above the destination, but that blatant piece of foreshadowing really risks sucking the audience out of the story. It's no surprise why many, myself including, feel dismayed. By revealing to NOT being his dad, the episode reverts to the status quo. After all this time, Spike's past remains a mystery. So despite a competent, nicely written story with a nicely song, great comedy (i.e., Sludge chucking SG out of the castle as she bathed ) and one of the best non-villain antagonists of the series, the resolve feels hollow. More could be done to tighten the plot or not feel so isolated from the rest of the series. At the end, I still feel uncertain whether I like it or not. Even after I submitted my initial review in the discussion thread. Nevertheless, it's got some big positives. Spike is very good here. He really wants to do the right thing and tries so hard to impress his "father." Here, we see his vulnerable side and one other flaw rarely exploited that well: his naiveté. He became so devoted with reuniting with what he thought was his biological father that he overlooks when he becomes a sleazy slob. Despite telling Twilight off, her worry clearly was on the back of his mind, evident by expressing his confusion towards Smolder. (This is also the first episode to refer to Spike as an orphan.) The audience sees his personality, how it was shaped, and (despite accusing her of being a fake parent) sympathize with them. His commitment for Sludge was genuine, which made his disappointment feel more crushing. Twilight has one of her more mature secondary outings of the series. Throughout FKB, Twilight is more than Spike's friend, but mom, too (and he sees the others as his family). From thinking he let her down after he was quiet and turned away for so long (punctuated by a really funny pillow reveal XD) to hugging him after he admits to being orphaned. Spike's health and well-being matter to him and will do anything to make sure he's safe, even if it means probably upsetting him. When he revealed Sludge ditched him and wasn't his real dad, she consoled him immediately, equally upset with the results. These shots really show their love for each other: Unlike Sludge, Smolder represented authentic dragondom despite their rough reputation, and she was great at it. When Twilight had trouble instructing Spike how to do tricks, she's there to help, explained that their parents teach them to fly when they're ready, and Spike offers a thank-you pillow to her, who doesn't sleep with pillows. Also, she knew Sludge phonied everything and worked with Spike to out him, because he treated her as his servant instead of his son. When he fled, she comforted him. Sludge is a fantastic, competent, and clever antagonist. No need to repeat. This is Dragon Quest (S2's worst episode by far) done right. How so? Recall the sexist implications and xenophobic stereotyping of dragons by the Mane Six. In DQ, while the RM5 watched dragons, they mocked Spike for looking "feminine" and proudly claimed that he's unlike the "other dragons" because of it. This sexism and xenophobia crossed over to teenage dragons, who are are written to represent dragondom, with Spike disowning his identity until Gauntlet of Fire. These implications are nonexistent here, and Haber wisely dignified dragon culture. Sludge claims he teaches Spike how to be a "real" dragon, but in reality, Sludge is a false representation of dragondom, while Smolder is. Guess who's in the right here. DQ's lesson actively uses racism in a positive light and treats the dragons other than Spike himself as savages in comparison to ponies, creating imperialistic implications that ponies are inherently superior. Thankfully, FKB handles a similar moral much better, this time focused on family over individuality, but Spike neither forgets nor abandons his dragon identity or sees dragon culture as a bad thing. Suspicions aside, they supported Spike's dad and worked with Spike to fulfill his wishes. They were all really charitable throughout the second montage: Pinkie and Fluttershy vs. Spike and Sludge in buckball (Granny Smith the ref): Rarity & Dash mimicking HW Day so they trade presents: Spike & Sludge bake and eat cupcakes together. Accusations of xenophobia from the ponies to dragons in DQ by bronies are justified, courtesy of their racist and sexist language. In FKB, no one acted like that at all, including Twilight. As mentioned previously, everyone's focused solely on Sludge being a terrible person, not because they believe dragons are primitive. When TS expressed concern, Spike retaliated with false accusations, which he apologized for. In DQ, Fluttershy agreed to watch the dragon migration after Dash agonizingly watched the butterfly migration, but punted her chest and cowered away. Here, Fluttershy actively helps him heal and no longer outwardly fears larger dragons. Disappointment aside, is Father Knows Beast a good episode? I believe it is. Compared to the rest of its post-Matter streak, it's the weakest of the bunch, especially so after its excellent run from Road to Friendship to Sounds, but it's still competently written. Hopefully, it'll continue to hold up on its own and age better in the future, but right now, don't expect me to watch it again anytime soon.
  33. 7 points
    If EVERYONE has their own opinion, then why do we make such a big deal of having a BETTER one? Granted, nobody's perfect - there are faiths that have outrageous rules, societies who exclude all but a few, and clubs who focus on specific groups of people... but still, it seems to have become a national pasttime to tell others how wrong they are, then to parade one's ego up & down the block for all to see. It's a game to the current generation, to destroy someone's beliefs and then laugh about it. What the living Hell, folks? Seriously, just because you don't like or believe in something, it doesn't give you the right to tear it down & mock them for it - and it's certainly NOT okay to do. Now, with people that are misinformed or are ignorant, those are cases to debate... but there IS such a thing as 'Respectful Debate', and I've seen it make a heckuva difference when presented fairly and kindly. People listen better when you aren't blasting their thoughts to shreds, and they'll consider your words much more carefully if you approach the subject with respect and Kindness. The idea of communication is to COMMUNICATE - not yell your ideas and stop listening. After all, YOUR opinion may be flawed, and anyone worth their salt will attempt to fix those possible flaws, because intelligent, mature people would be far more willing to admit a wrong and correct it. All those people who rant & rave when confronted with the thought that they might be wrong? Yeah, they ain't changing... not for ANYONE... and it's a waste of time trying to talk reason to them. They don't WANT reason; they want to be RIGHT... and getting caught up in being RIGHT is how The Crusades got started, and we know what happened during that. Honestly? I don't mind when folks come to me & tell me they don't believe in what I believe in - variety, after all, is the spice of Life - and there have even been times I've had my own eyes opened to things I never considered. I choose to remain open to these thoughts, as I'm a work in progress until the day I die; never let it be said that I'm inflexible to change, growth or improvement. And that's what I'm getting at here, folks - you can huster & bluster all day & night about how THIS person is wrong and THAT person is stupid... But, in the end, you get what you give - and that goes for the Internet, too. You put out excellent reasoning and heartfelt thought? Chances are, you'll have a large percentage of friends who are like-minded, and can share opinions and beliefs freely... but if you put out anger, hate and intolerance? You are what you type, my fellow Ponyites. Endeavor to become a listener. Choose to question your own beliefs, on occasion. Use respect when debating a point, especially when it comes to faith or politics. For those who want to make the world a BETTER place, I challenge you to strive to become a better PERSON. Excelsior, fellow communicators!
  34. 6 points
    Today. Is. The. DAY. The Bro. The Ny. THE CON. Today, I depart for Baltimore on a Greyhound bus, a trip that will last from 2:30 PM 'til 7 AM the next day... I couldn't BE more stoked, right now. Since 2016, I've been coming to this site. I've spent time interacting with the folks here, sharing stories or memes or even just goofing around & being chaotic and whatnot... and those things mean a LOT to me. As someone who's always felt alone in crowds, I have to admit that my upcoming muzzle-to-muzzle meeting of so many of the folks here - on staff as well as the rest of you wonderful folks - is something that, for once, I feel like I'm really looking forward to. Despite Aspie worries and awkward moments that will undoubtedly lie ahead, I am confident that the folks I'm going to meet here will be incredible, and that when it's all said & done, we'll all have fond memories of this momentous occasion. Well... i-it's momentous to me. Excelsior, fellow Ponyites... for Randi is bringing his CHAOS to you. Personally.
  35. 6 points
    Well then, considering the fact that we have reached the approximate halfway point of 2019, and that I have just reached 17 years of age... this year has been quite an adventure thus far. It is such a shame as well; January through early April was a steady ascension for me... but it all started to crumble by the end of April. I will withhold details for privacy's sake, but the basic idea is that there is a certain internal struggle that I had finally found the solution for... only for it to be stifled. Ever since then, the progress that I had made in the past few months has started to crumble, and only got worse throughout the course of May, up to this point. Fortunately, I am clumsily picking myself back up, and plan to reach that peak again before climbing higher... but it is such a shame that I had to slip so far in terms of physical and mental progress. Oh well; such is life, I suppose. Fortunately, it is not all grey skies. I have gotten much better at facing my fears this year; I have actually done so 4 times at this point, which has lead to a steady boost in confidence. Even so, I have quite a bit of ground to make up for. Either way, it is often said that 17 is among the more bittersweet years of your life... and while I am certainly not qualified to judge yet, I do think I understand why. At least in the United States, you are not a child... but not quite an adult either. It can be seen as the coup de grace to childhood (though not necessarily youth), and the introduction to adult life. It is a time when you are expected to finally stand on your own, albeit with a bit of fun scattered here or there. Basically, it is seen as the time when teenagers finally transition to young adults, come age 18, after many growing pains and adolescent angst. I imagine we all know life only just begins at that age, but I will cross that bridge once I arrive at it. I would like to conclude this rambling session with a song that resonated with me quite a bit, that I have only recently discovered. It is quite simple, and debatably tacky, but I enjoy it nevertheless. This song speaks of a woman, yes, but I imagine anyone can ultimately relate to it on some level. With all of that said, I would like to thank you all for the Birthday wishes today! I have had many apprehensions with the Forums in the past, but you lovely fellows truly shine through it all. With all of that said, thank you for your continued attention through all of my rambling. Have a lovely evening!
  36. 6 points
    "Does doing something wrong for the right reasons make it wrong?" Those who know me know how much I love Princess Celestia and Luna and how wonderful and amazing they are, but there is one other pony (or in this case changling) who I feel doesn't deserve all the hate she gets. Her name: Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Changlings! All the time, I hear things, awful things, about Chrysalis and of evil, ugly, emotionless she is and I'm here to tell you all that you all couldn't be farther from the truth! Chrysalis is neither of these things and there's plenty of proof that says so. Evil: What is evil? Simple. Evil is the action of individual taking and using any means necessary to inflict violence and cruel suffering to all those around them without remorse, doing so for either personal gain or simply "because it's fun". Sure, to be fair, Chrysalis has decided to take the love of everypony and that sounds cruel at first glance, but you have to step back and realize that she doesn't do this because it's "fun" or personal gain. She does these things because it is the only way her people can survive and they literally need to feed off of love to survive! Without it, Chrysalis and her changlings die and who would ever want something like that to happen to somepony else? That's why she does all of this: For her people! Maybe in the past she tried to find other ways to help her people to survive, and all of these ways always end in a dead end. And now she had gotten to the point where she was desperate to help her people and feeding off of love was the last resort she could come to! She does what she does because she doesn't have a choice now or else they all die! No one deserves to die in such a fate and Queen Chrysalis was the one to spit in the name of fate itself! Ugly: This word is used to describe an individual as grotesque, without beauty or style. They are simply unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance. None of these words could ever describe Queen Chrysalis, and is far from these UGLY words! She has the beauty that no other pony in Equestria will ever have: Inner beauty! A heart as burdened and guilt ridden as hers must go through a lot of stress, but she still manages to show the world how wrong they are about her. Nopony will ever tell her that what she does is wrong and nopony will stop her from helping her subjects, who means more to her than even herself! On the inside she is strong and a warrior who will NOT stop until she sets things right once and for all! On the outside: Even more beauty that outshines everypony in Equestria! Ugly will never be a word I'd use to describe Queen Chrysalis... Emotionless: An individual who does not show or feel any emotion to anything or anyone/pony! They do not care for sadness, happiness, love, hope or hatred nor any other emotion... They simply feel... NOTHING! Queen Chrysalis is the last creature that should be described as such, for she has endured and felt more than one ever should. Sadness for her subjects suffering and feeling as though she has failed them, Happy when she has the chance to fix everything and to make things change for the better, Love for the newborn changlings and the Hope that she can protect them as a mother should protect her young, and Hatred for those who want to stand in her way and tell to give up and stop trying... NEVER!! But the one emotion she has to endure the most: Pain. The pain that she might never save her subjects, the pain that everyone wants to push her to the ground and tell her NO! But most importantly, the pain of getting back up onto her feet and pushing back against the world! All of the pain, suffering and EMOTIONAL scars she's had to endure on her quest is what makes her so strong! The world wants to push Chrysalis down? She'll get right back up and push right back a thousandfold! And there you have it: Three reasons why Chrysalis is no evil, ugly, or emotionless creature of darkness. She is simply a survivor who wants what's best for her people and only somechangling with a heart as strong as hers can take the hardest choices in life and make it a part of her strong will! The will to survive and the will to set things right once and for all! I will always love Queen Chrysalis and nopony will ever convince me otherwise!
  37. 6 points
    This entry isn't really marking any significant progress with any particular technique, but rather marking the first time use of a couple techniques. It's true this is my first attempt at Luna-style hind legs or kirin features(the scales, hooves, etc.), but also this is my first ever (digital or otherwise) attempt at fur fluff which I intend to start practicing with on occasion, and perhaps eventually make it a permanent addition to my drawings. @Lady Kiriness
  38. 6 points
    I want to blog right now, I do. I just don't know why or what about. There's so many things going through my head right now and I definitely can't write about all of them. So I'm writing about all of them. Yeah, yeah, super counterproductive sure. But I won't be too specific. A lot of these things probably seem petty or stupid or just plain you know wanting to punch me in the face for being stressed over this. I just want to grow up. I want a choice in how my house looks, or what food we buy. And where I can go. I just feel so trapped and I want to grow up. I want to make all the decisions kids are scared to make. I failed my post test in History. I just found out a couple minutes ago that I could have redone it and all the work I missed because I had been really sick the last week of school. But my mom didnt tell me about the email and she said he wanted all final grades in by tomorrow. So now I have like no time left to do anything. And I've never failed a test before not EVER. GREY'S ANATOMY IS TOO EMOTIONAL AND HAS TOO MANY GOOD LESSONS ABOUT LIFE THAT I KIND STAND HEARING RIGHT NOW I keep finding random things to cry about and my moms wants to play a game as a family. I just can't go downstairs because I'd have to try so hard not to cry. And my dad is gone at a funeral so he can't help me with anything. I go back to school on Wednesday. I'm not ready to see people EVERYDAY, kids! The only good thing about next week is dance, but that's only twice a week. HAHA I like a really good friend of mine and obviously I can't tell him. I REALLY LIKE BEING SINGLE. I have too many books to read and that probably sounds dumb but I used to read every hour of every day and I just can't now. Reading was my life and I really really miss it. I just can't seem to get myself to read. I'm too distracted and by things so stupid I even want to punch myself. I guess that's life though. Right???
  39. 6 points
    Hello everypony! Finally the HUD has been reprogrammed! ~And length of the HP bar increases along with maximum HP! For some reason I always like that little feature in games, because that makes increasing max HP more interesting --- especially checking if you can go off-screen with this. I thought it all will take few hours, but it ended up taking two days, heh. Why it took so long? I had to replace most of the HUD graphics in game files and reprogram the HUD in general, mostly spell icons, due to their new switching animation. I also have optimized the code, now it's shorter, organized better, thus more efficient & readable. I also have added some script functions that will come in handy when programming features in the future. ...Also I discovered, that previously there were two typos in the code. It wasn't a big deal, as things still worked in the end without crashing the game, nevertheless it's of course better to not have any of this floating in the code. I guess this design will do, at least for now. And as always, thanks for visiting!
  40. 6 points
    I spent my time around 11-12PM yesterday to make the base And did the finishing stuff today for like less than 2 hours. Drawn in Ms. Paint, Colored in GIMP Seriously, there's nothing else i can draw besides of my OC. I still ain't sure whether I wasted my time or not, doing this (I might regret putting this here later in the future) (Re-did the eyes a bit, not sure whether that makes it looks even worse or not) (Changed the mane a bit)
  41. 6 points
    Abortion: I am completely in favor or abortion. Especially when a mission looks like a failure. If you don't abort lives could be lost. There was this one time I tried to abort a launch to Mars and I was told no. I lost my entire crew and am still floating in space. Abortion could have saved their lives. I also stink in this space suit. Send Axe please. Death Penalty/Prison: If you take one ... I mean ONE ... of my pistachios you go to jail. The jail will be located in an undisclosed penal colony where there are a whole bunch of penals running around singing Justin Bieber songs. If you take more than one ... I snap my damn fingers. Bye you. Freedom of Speech: I am a huge proponent of free speech, unless speech stole my nuts. Then screw speech .... it can rot. Guns: Nerf, Lazor Tag, and Supersoaker should be required by everyone. I am also against people calling their muscles ‘guns’. The F*ck is up with that 80's bullshit? Economy: Economy is great. Unless you are flying internationally. Then economy sucks. Gay marriage: My views on this have changed. I was once married to a girl named Jess and therefore only supported Jess Marriage. Now, I suppose it is possible I would marry someone named Gay. Though it is unlikely because not that many people are Gay. Immigration: I firmly oppose Antarctican Immigration. Fucking penguins everywhere? Hell no. Also Oompa Loompa immigration is dangerous. Everytime you see them a child nearly dies. They are a threat to our families. Religious Liberty: I will only say this. I once got into a debate over religion with this guy who claimed that there were like hundreds of religions. I had my Pistachio God strike him down then and there. There shall no other nuts before me! Though I am fair. These complaints about the Ten Duel Commandments being in front of state houses is absurd. I mean, it is our civic right to carry Nerf you damn hippie loompa jerks. Also Hamilton! Transgenderism: I'm sick of this. I went to Germany once and I couldn't learn their language because each thing had a specific gender! WHAT???? A trashcan isn't a boy or a girl ... its a damned trashcan. Same with the French. The hell is wrong with your language. When I get back on Earth ... WAR. I declare WAR. Stupid Pistachio hating Oopmpa Loompa loving barbarians! Une or Un ... pick one!
  42. 6 points
    Hey, so I haven't really been on here and probably won't be too active on here much. I only really come back here for nostalgia every once and a while. But since there were some cool people I did meet on here, guess I might as well give you methods if you want to still talk to me. Here's my Twitter: https://twitter.com/ChikoritaCheez And my Discord is ChikoritaCheezits#7476
  43. 6 points
    Remember when I said, that the "Art of the Dress" event with @Rarity and all the amazing dresses members have drawn filled me with inspiration? I mentioned a puzzle game (click my reply above for more information) and I kept thinking about it. Soooo... I couldn't resist! I've drawn a concept art showing how more or less it could look like. Disclaimer: Carousel Boutique background, all the gems, elements of harmony, spool of rainbow thread and the Rainbow's dress sketch weren't made by me. I've made hourglass, menu scroll, cursor and the rest. Now the general idea is, that Rarity would be sewing a different dress for each level. The first levels would take place in Ponyville, where Rarity would make the dresses for the Gala, nothing fancy. There would be some cutscenes and some other basic stuff. With progress, she'd be moving to different places, where dresses would follow different styles. Levels 2-X would take place in Manehattan. Levels 3-X would take place in the Crystal Empire. Levels 4-X would take place in Canterlot. Busy and demanding ponies - fits great for more difficult levels, that require more work in less amount of time. Rarity's Boutique would be such a great location. (and perhaps more...) Now talking about some inspiration from that thread and event altogether--- I'd like to mention something, that gave me that one more sparkle. I haven't seen many -- actually I don't really recall seeing any dresses inspired by the Crystal Empire. I have to say, that @bornAgainEquestrian's dress is absolutely great. As for the game itself - there would be some bonuses, that would impact the field by destroying things here and there; there would be upgrades to these to give that feeling of progress/improvement. Also, this time I'd totally go for Full HD resolution as the default one! As much as I love pixel art, I think this one would perform better with high-resolution smooth art. If I'd knew about that event sooner, perhaps (with a huuuge question mark) I'd attempt to create that game, or at least come up with a demo for that event, like it was with Twilight's day. The huuuuuge question mark is because I suspect that game would take way longer to program, so I'd probably need a lot of time. These events made me think of a possible idea of making a game/minigame for each pony from the mane six and I happen to have some more ideas already, but I won't reveal these yet! The Bookhorse Minigame Art of the Dress Puzzle Game ???????????????? ??????????? ???????????????? ??????????? ???????????????? ??????????? - not sure yet - ----------- Oh I wish I wouldn't have to be bothered by my job - There are so many exciting things to do! Either way, that's all for now; Thank you for visiting!
  44. 5 points
    My wife threw me out back in November of 2018. The reasons why were irrelevant - I was no longer welcome in the embrace of the woman I'd known since middle school, and my kids were now living somewhere I was not. Something like that can sandblast the will to live out of someone with the force of a balefire bomb, and at the time, I might not have been suicidal (I've experienced it from the side of losing a dear friend; I won't do that to anyone if I can help it), but I was at the bottom of the proverbial barrel. I felt that there was nothing left for me, and that I was doomed to spend the remainder of my existence in abject misery. So naturally, as I do when I oft get sad, I read. I read all the books I owned at least twice, and even borrowed a few from good friends... but there's always more to read. Lately, I'd finished scouring FimFiction, and had enjoyed finishing last year's great find for me - Fallout: Equestria. LittlePip and co. were wonderful additions to my mental roster of characters and stories, and I had noticed that there had been more stories. With all that had happened to me, I was more or less just skimming the 'recommended' section... and found Project: Horizons. What the hell... with all my pain, what more could it hurt? The next few weeks saw me reading the damn thing at every chance I got. It DEVOURED my attention; I even neglected some of my work here on the forums, my mind eagerly delving into the world of Blackjack and her intrepid allies. I even began, internally, to draw parallels between BJ and some of my own tribulations. But the most important part of this introduction is to tell you that one line, like a freaking mantra, kept repeating over and over through the length and breadth of the entire tale... Do better. And I took that to heart as thoroughly and tightly as I possibly could. It made a difference. It made a WORLD of difference, as I started to push to mentally grab my depressed self up off the floor and make steps toward doing better than I had been. I did better by drying my tears of self-pity. I did better by forcing myself out of bed each and every day, accomplishing even the smallest thing just to prove I wasn't beaten yet. I did better by fighting my mental demons, and seeking the truth instead of the seductive lies my paranoia was trying to feed me. I did better by keeping a regular laundry routine, instead of letting it pile up into a living creature of dirt, sweat and loose threads. I DID BETTER. So, just like that, Project Horizons took an important place in my heart as a story I took HOPE from. Natch, with this sort of affection for the story, I decided this year that, with the final BronyCon coming up, I was not only going to attend... but I endeavored to find myself a Blackjack plushie, so that I could have a tangible reminder of all the better I'd done because of that checkerboard-maned Security mare. I even tried to budget out enough for a leniency of $80, just in case. Two days into the convention, and an unforseen bill slammed its' way into my account, cleaning me out and leaving me with a negative balance. I didn't even have enough cash to buy a can of soda, much less a plushie. So, even though it mentally stung me worse than a bugbear sting to the armpit, I had to let go of the idea that I'd be able to afford one at this convention - hell, I was trying to figure out how I was gonna get home. Still, walking through the dealer's hall, I could admire other works that befit my likes. I saw a number of AWESOME Discords, cool buggos, stupid smexy Nightmare Moon dakimakuras, and adorkable chibi Twilys. But there was one shelf that had a remarkably detailed and hand-painted vinyl Blackjack on a stand. I smiled, as it was even complete with that self-confident smirk I could imagine her with, and as I looked it over, I was joined by someone else who admired it. Natch, I began talking (as I can be a chatty bugger), and he inquired if I liked Fallout: Equestria's Project Horizons. Of course I said yes. He thumbed over his shoulder and said, "Yeah? Well THIS guy wrote it." I turned to where he had motioned, and there was just this average, normal-looking fellow there, maybe his mid-thirties, bespectacled and friendly-like. He lifted his hand in a slight wave and, almost as if narrating while I read it on his badge, "Hi. I'm Somber. Nice to meetcha." I... *sigh* I totally fanboyed. I will not lie. I gasped, might have even given a squee, and instantly shook his hand before hugging him and shaking his hand again. I couldn't believe it - the author of the story that had given me the inspiration and strength to carry on in one of my lowest points in life. I mean, I wasn't fan-sessed, no... I did manage to relate a Cliff Notes version of the above story to let him know how much Blackjack's journey had meant to me. I wanted to let him know how important it was to me.... aaaaaaaand hopefully not drive him off with my fan-gasming. To his credit, he never even looked fazed, and was even pleasantly surprised when I told him what it had meant to me. He thanked me for reading, and when I mentioned I'd been trying to find a BJ plush, he grinned and said, "I know where they've got 'em - follow me, man." So, agog and still internally squeeing, I went along with him and his friend (whose name I forgot, please don't be upset, but I mean COME ON), and we traveled through the swarm of Bronies that were there to find their own treasures. I was so stunned by meeting him that I didn't even realize he was taking me to buy a plushie I had no money for. Arriving at the booth, he gestured to a small pile of Blackjacks that were adorably minky and well-made, complete with removable Security barding and little PipBuck! They were totes dorbs, as my daughter would say, and Somber asked the guy behind the counter how much they were. The gentleman replied, "Sixty bucks." My heart crashed as the realization came home. I kinda... mini-panicked. Eyes wide, I grabbed one of the booth's business cards, swearing I'd order one online and that it wouldn't take more than a single paycheck to do so, and that I'd really not expected things to go as they had for my budget for this trip, and was very earnestly trying to convince the friend that I was going to do my utmost best to get this plushie... Somber? He just reached over, picked one up, pulled out his wallet and bought one. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black sharpie, removed BJ from her plastic bag enough for him to pull off the back bootie (it gave her legs that cyber-look), and that's where he wrote: To Randi From Somber Hang in there. And, with a smile, he handed it to me. "There," he said, "now you have one." I cried. I also thanked him about a dozen times, hugged him twice more,and shook his hand with BOTH of my own at least four more times. Even though I was fangushing at level 11 at this point, he simply smiled and took all my thanks and praise humbly, wishing me a good rest-of-the-con as he and his friend moved off into the crowds again. I'm pretty sure he was still smiling as he faded into the gathering of Bronies and Pegasisters, all here to celebrate this wonderful show that has spawned so much from so may people. There are a lot of folks who'll tell you that meeting a 'hero' is never all it's cracked up to be; they're arrogant, or money-grubbing, or egotistical to the Nth degree. But sometimes, fillies and gentlecolts... sometimes, meeting a hero is exactly everything you hoped it would be, and then some. To Somber himself, I say excelsior - your greatness is the massive shadow you leave behind the humble, decent man you are stretches farther than you ever imagined. Thank you for your hard work, your insight, and your story - it's helped me to do better, and I'm sure Blackjack herself would be proud of that.
  45. 5 points
    Hello! So, about two weeks ago I started getting back into the hobby of making Perler Bead crafts, something I haven't done since I was a kid. Since then I've finished a few projects and felt like showing them off. For my first project, I decided to recreate the cutie mark for my Pony OC, Gallantry. A few of the beads didn't fuse properly and ended coming off, but for a first try I thought I did pretty well. Next up, I made yet another cutie mark, this time of one of my absolute favorite ponies, Sunset Shimmer. Once I started to get the hang of ironing the beads correctly, I moved onto making one of my favorite Pokemon from Gen 1, Nidoking. Another cutie mark, this time of Best Pony AND Best Princess, Princess Celestia. Wanting to try something smaller, I figured I'd do the four ghosts from Pacman. Sadly, I used up almost all of my yellow beads making Sunset and Celestia's cutie marks, so I haven't made Pacman to go along with them yet. Finally, I made an Emblem for one of my original Netnavi characters from the Megaman Battle Network games, VolcanicMan.EXE. I actually plan to make all the emblems from that series as well, which is quite a tall order considering there are over 90 characters across all six games. And that's my collection so far. Once my order of white, black and yellow beads arrive in a week or so I plan to make all four of the Legendary Weapons from The Rising of the Shield Hero. I can already tell making the Legendary Spear is going to be a real pain since it's easily twice the size of the other weapons...
  46. 5 points
    It's been a week and I'm still sticking with it. Knowing me, that's a feat in and of itself. That said, I don't have a finished piece to post to mark my progress. I do however have a portion of a far larger project I'm working on that can serve as my progress marker, also perhaps as a sneak peak of said project. Anyway, you didn't come here for words, so have some art. I have another sketch here. First off, it's just that: a light sketch. It's something I threw together to show someone the basic pony anatomy I'm using. It's not much to look at, but the fact that I threw it together in roughly 2 minutes is what makes it noteworthy as a progress marker.
  47. 5 points
    Another video. Gonna try to stick with it. This time it is for something fun and light hearted.
  48. 5 points
    Whenever I'm feeling lonely or like I don't have anyone to talk to I usually go onto the forums actually. But what if you don't have internet, or being on the forums just makes you feel more alone? That's when I turn to my trusty YouTube playlist! (If your playlist is filled with depressing songs then find a new one). Once I've set up my super affirmative songs (ex. This Is Me by Demi Lavato) then I do whatever I want. Usually I'll dance super crazily... You can draw, you can write, you can color! With a lot of free time on your hands you can do a lot of things. This means you can try new things. Maybe you've never baked cookies before! Or maybe you've never made your bed! This is time for you to do all those things without feeling like a piece of crap because your parents get mad at you for not doing them! Have fun being lonely like me! And don't hesitate to PM me if you are feeling lonely!!
  49. 5 points
    There has never been a moment in my life where I haven't struggled with something. From almost being a miscarriage as a baby and having to deal with things such as Autism and various other mental illnesses, in addition to many physical issues. Granted I'm not complaining about my life, given that there are many other unfortunate individuals who live in a considerably worse state than I do. What I'm trying to say, is there's a lot about me. However, I sometimes feel that there isn't much about me worth knowing. I've brought up the fact that I don't have a personality and while I do agree that I indeed have one, I feel that people aren't interested in it. I'm always just on the sidelines, left out. Nobody knows if I'm not there, nobody cares. I don't know why this is. I've opened myself up quite a bit, let my heart out, only to be forgotten and left out. To quote myself, 'I'm the geeky kid who likes Video Games'. I know there's nothing wrong with that, but I get the impression that I'm not interesting enough to others. I guess these thoughts relate to my recent feelings. I feel empty. It doesn't matter how much I try or how much I pour my heart out to do something, it just leads to disappointment. A hollow victory, if you will. Either it's blatantly ignored or not fully seen, leaving me with the impression that I wasted so much of my time, only to not recieve a second glance. This has lead me to be rather emotionally drained. I haven't cried in two and a half months, which is my longest yet. On this forum, I can find something unique and distinguishable about every single active user...except myself. What sets me apart from others in the online world? Nothing really. It's more difficult to convey a personality online than in real life. At least in real life, I'm a strange balance between quiet and withdrawn, and silly and over the top. I know there's more in here, but I'm not sure where it is and what it is.
  50. 5 points
    This episode started with a concept we've not seen in a long time, the Rainbow Dash fan club, with devolved into the fan club for "The Washouts". It was a good cold open, featuring Scoots and RD prominently. The first segment featured a good pace, and a return of Lightning Dust, who hadn't be in an episode since her appearance in season 3. RD and LD both let their rivalry be known. A couple of funny moments were sprinkled into the episode in the first segment. Heading into the second segment, Scoots does a tweener turn, becoming a Washouts member. The pacing, and RD saving the day were what made this episode a great episode. The ending was cute as well, It, overall, was a great episode, one of the best of the season thus far. The return of Lightning Dust made the episode good, but what really made this a great episode was the emphasis of the sisterly relationship that RD and Scootaloo have. There has not been enough of these kind of episodes to be honest. It had good writing, a good pace to it, a couple of funny moments, and a great resolution to the episode. My grade: 9.3/10 A