Allow me to begin by saying that I am weird; remember that.
I've been on this site for many a moon, and I have experienced a number of joyous moments, a small hoofull of sad or trying ones, a great amount of fun ones and even one or two angry ones. All those moments, do understand, will live on in my mind for as long as I can remember to hold down the [RESET] button before I turn my mind off each time I manage to sleep. There are a surprisingly large number of individuals who have become fun and fine friends during my time here; some have left, and one of two have even ascended to Cloudsdale, so to speak. There's a number of dopey, silly and just plain embarrassing things that I've contributed to during my time here, and there's even more moments I've shared with folks here that I shall treasure for the rest of my existence.
But that's not why I'm writing this.
I have to tell you wonderful folks a few things; I have to get you to see things from my perspective, if you ever want to understand why things are the way they are. Because with three, you get eggroll. And this is only a single, passing point on the map before reaching five. Because five is right out, you see - they said so in the film, and I'll not be one to begrudge them that, since they did it before I did this. I figure it's a fair cop.
But that's not why I wanted to write this out for you fine, wonderful folks; that has little to do with it, but it does have some bearing as to what I'm engaging you about. It doesn't matter one whit about stuff like the above wasted paragraph, because the subject of this particular blog entry is one of the heart. And possibly of the stomach. Maybe even in the colon; we don't know - the lab boys say they'll get back to us on it. And they will, too - as they say in the Main Hall; no work, no eat. Those bastards got lazy and complacent during their time in college; I say we mow 'em down with 300 things at once on their first day; that way, if they still manage to do it, you know they're a keeper.
Still, I have to tell you why I had to finally sit down and write out this blog entry; I mean, it's not like I'm just sitting in bed, playing my XBOX One in between Overwatch matches and RP replies, y'know? Okay, that's the way it was when I didn't have a job, mayhaps... but that's not important at the moment. Well, semi-important, at best. Maybe a bit more than I give it credit for, sure, but not as much as folks tend to make such a fuss about... and trust me, people will make a fuss over anything. LITERALLY.
But I'm getting off track, here - the idea is that I'm supposed to be telling you about something that's been on my mind for quite some time now. It's something that affects you, that affects me, that could possibly affect everything... but, most likely, it won't affect a thing, and my personal horror and paranoia is all for nothing. Still, gotta keep an ear out for such possibilities; hunt them down when they appear, and show up with my rubber TOMY water-gun. Show 'em all who's Boss then, am I right?
No, no... I should stay on track. There's too much to say to not take the opportunity to say it.
At any rate, I just wanted to make sure to communicate my point here, so that in the future, it can be clearly told that I wasn't any sort of compliant accomplice of anyone else's agenda here. What I do, I do of my own free will, my own choice, my own pinkie toe, my own liver, my own 5th vertibrae; the actions I take are nobody's but my own, and I will end up owning up to them, as I don't believe in owning down to anyone. That's just dumb.
But to be completely honest with you all, I can't ever seem to be able to spell out loud, verbally. I mean, typing or writing? Eeyup, I have those down PAT... but verbally? No way. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube with your sense of smell alone. Still, you give me a writing utensil and a dry scrap o' paper, and I can take over the world! I mean, really, do you have ANY IDEA what folks actually talk about around you? Listen in on the right convos, and you can even get passwords and pin numbers - and being clever is being quiet as you gather those all up, and send them off to whomever you please... possibly even someone who washes behind their left knee only on every seventh Thursday, back behind the school bleachers, in the middle of the day, because it was hot and she was pretty, okay? It wasn't MY fault she had a 'wardrobe malfunction'!
Still, I think it's finally time for me to approach the crux of this blog post, at long last. I don't think I want to stall any further. *sigh* Here goes:
To all of you who have loyally and completely read the drivel above, I say thank you; the title of the blog entry was nothing more than bait to bring you here, so that you would intently read the chaotic ramblings of an old smartass like me, just to see what 'dire' news might have followed. For those of you who have made it this far, this entry was written; I have no plans to leave this site any time soon, but now I'm amused that you read through all that silliness above just to get to this point. I say unto you: April Fool's. Consider yourselves pranked, and you're welcome.
I warned you at the very beginning, didn't I?
Thank you to everyone who ever communicated, reacted or even just passingly waved at me; I love each and every one of you, and will remember many of you for a long, long time. Keep up the good work, Forums - excelsior!