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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/23/18 in EqE Character Comments

  1. 2 points
    Unfortunately, the images problem is on OUR end... and our tech staff is so overworked right now, it sorta falls down to 'fix when we have time'; perhaps once it's fixed, I'll go back and do the work to add the pic in, myself. But for now, we'll just have to work it out as we can. My sincerest apologies. By the way, I reworked your picture a little bit - if you like, you can use this. I was simply influenced, and decided to do it... simply because I could. I hope it's well-received. Otherwise, do you feel like this OC is ready to go?
  2. 1 point
    Okay! It's time to take a look at this app - and hope I don't hurt my eyes, staring into the proverbial sun! First off, I very much like your allusions to the fate of her parents; as there's almost zero mention of them in the series itself, I am quite satisfied with leaving their fate nebulous like this. The app itself is solid... and the typos I see, I can fix personally. I will say that there should be a bit more after the gathering of Twilight & the Mane Six; I would at least advise to continue the background (important events only) up to & including Starlight switching her & Luna's cutie marks; maybe another paragraph alluding to her sister's return as well. It almost feels like the history stops right before the events of the show itself - we don't need another six pages, mind you - just a few show highlights. Once you've gotten a chance to go over things, let me know what changes you make, and I'll happily cast my gaze into the sun again!
  3. 1 point
    This app looks good to me. If I disapproved this, I may need to have a vacation couch on the moon Second approval granted.
  4. 1 point
    Okay, then - I suppose we're done here. Off to SecApp with you, so that thy fun may be doubled!
  5. 1 point
    Look numero DOS: The slight mention of the disappearance of her parents still points to some sort of foul play, in my opinion... but I'm okay with letting it slide - after all, there's no mention of them AT ALL in the show; I suppose that such a thing will be eventually addressed, and until then? All good, homeslice. I like your addition of the Tantabus event (though it was after the Nightmare Night moment, not before)... but I think it could be spoken about just a bit more; that event meant a great deal to Luna's character development, and it seems as if much of that was glossed over here. Okay, it's more of a personal observation than a 'professional' one - take it as you will. But I still think it deserves at least a mention of how the situation helped bring Luna closer to her subjects, as well as allowing for self-forgiveness. Otherwise, it's pretty much done. If you want to change anything, you're welcome to; otherwise, let me know you're finished here, and I'll pop the Night Princess into the SecApp queue, with much haste.
  6. 1 point
    Edits are complete and I await your updated review.
  7. 1 point
    Hello @Loud Opinion (I'm a little slow my apologies) I've gone over your Crystal mare and she is something and a half that is for sure I must say and what I've been reading it seems Randimaxis and yourself have been working on her quite a bit since the start and have created a monster... I mean well-written character. I can't find any issues with your character entry so I can do nothing more but approve her well done on this OC and have fun with her out there in Equestria.
  8. 1 point
    Alrighty then! Into the Second Approval queue you go - best of luck, and I'm glad to have helped!
  9. 1 point
    *looks around* Umm... is there still an interest in Lumi here? If so, please speak up; this character will have to be deleted from the queue on June 20th if there's no further interest. Thank you for your time.
  10. 1 point
    Hello, @Loud Opinion I do apologise for making you wait, I've been a little slack. Nevertheless, I'm here to help in getting your OC through to approved. I had a look through your whole entry and it's pretty good I can't really see anything that would stop me from approving this character, but maybe hold off on so many commas in future But otherwise Blue Thorn is a rather interesting stallion and I like how he is still trying to discover his purpose in life despite having a cutiemark, quite a unique idea from the characters I've read.
  11. 1 point
    I absolutely appreciate your help! Thanks! Also my computer is deciding to be mostly shitfaced right now. Sorry. I’ll get that up soon though!!!! Edit: My tech is working again. I appreciate your help. Check it out! I also left your edits blue as you made them so that they’re easy to identify, although your writing style is quite memorable!!
  12. 1 point
    Hmmmmmm... Well, there are still instances of death having occurred in the MLP universe, but simply saying he caught a disease and died sounds... a bit terse and cold. Instead of: His mother would not relent and so this argument gave way to divorce. There was a furious court battle over which parent would get the foal, but eventually, the judge split the time 60-40. As they were readying to move out, his father caught a horrible disease. He died a week later. Try this: His Mother stood her ground, yet so did his Father - though both meant well, it eventually ended with the two separating, as they felt the constant strife would be too much for poor Lumi to handle. The young stallion spent time seeing them both, though more of this time was with his Mother than his Father, and it seemed as though this new way of life would be what Lumi would know... Until his Father passed away after a harsh battle with pneumonia. This gives the same 'sudden hammer' effect of the father's passing, but presents it in a way that sounds more reverent than dismissive. Little tricks like this can help a narrative sound more as though it's FELT rather than simply EXPERIENCED. Let me know if this helps, and send me a line when you've ironed out your editing. }:D
  13. 1 point
    @Randimaxis, I completely understand the logistical troubles with customer support of this nature, so don't sweat it (I'm majoring in Computer Information Systems so maybe I can elevate the burden in the future). As for if I think my OC is ready: Yes, it very much is. I forgot to add the scars... oops. Okay, now it's ready Wait, the artist that I originally wanted a drawing from just got back to me, I'll wait until next Monday to update you. BTW: Nice picture. The white background seems to work better with the layout of the page giving it a more generalized feel, but I'm sure I can find some use for it...*cough* signature *cough*
  14. 0 points
    As far as I can see, things look good - and yes, the additional paragraph does do a lot more for her story by describing things more thoroughly. Excellent work! I do have a single, solitary question though... Tolerable but distasteful: Nose ponies Are you talking about ponies with noses, because I have this horrific vision of Pinkie Pie with Nigel Thornberry's face... *shuddercringe*
  15. 0 points
    There is!!!! I didn’t know I needed to provide a cutie mark image. Editing issues too.
  16. 0 points
    I am digging the changes... and I think we're about done here! You're welcome to go back and turn my blue type to black, and and remove the italics; otherwise, if you think you're good, then let me know, and I'll pop Lumi over into Second Approval!