Windwaker

Finished reading it. It wasn't too bad. I really liked the relationship between you and Twilight Sparkle (So Cute), but there are a few problems with the fiction. First off, you need to fix the pacing a bit. It sometimes felt as if it were going too fast(For example, the relationship between you and Twilight Sparkle happened way too fast.) Try to slow down during those moments. Also, try to make the emotions of the characters a bit more realistic. For example, when he was about to go thro...

..ugh the portal, the rest of his family did not seem to care one bit that their son was about to go through a portal to another world. Try to make the characters emotions more realistic for the context of their situation. There were some grammatical errors too, Overall, it wasn't a bad story, it just needs some work.

I give it 6/10

Yes, I would like to read more. But try to lower the pace a little. For the grammatical errors, I could proofread it for you if you want.