ActFast231

So I decided to put this here instead of posting it in Life Advice, plus this is more of a vent on my part. But as always, any aid is appreciated. What happened today was I was at school, and was on a laptop. I was rather down and apathetic, so I look up apathy and see how it can be fought. The wikipedia page was informative enough, though I saw it was linked to Aspergers syndrome. Now I am looking into getting screened for this, but I decided to look anyway. The symptoms-formal or sophisticated speech, one sided conversations, the forced, awkward, social interaction that lead to failed friendships, fast speech...hell, even the single mindedness and odd aversions to food. Every fucking problem, the source of my loneliness, the bullying, maybe even my small build and diabetes...All of it could of been because of this malfunction in my head. Something that went unnoticed for 16 years. As I read the symptoms, I felt myself slipping, and got into a secluded area. And then I lost it. After a month of depression, my health fucking up...this was the last straw on the camels back. After some time, not sure how long I stayed there, I came out, head hung, hiding behind my hair. I moved like a zombie for the rest of the day. Still am, in a sense. I return home, and after a dump fight with my parents that hit my current weak point, what was left of my emotion drained out. In my room, away from others, of course. In a way, I'm glad it happened. This has been something that has been building up for awhile. But now I feel more broken than ever. I just want things to get better. I want to be happy. But lately, that has been getting harder and harder to achieve. I have no urge to game, Youtube isn't funny anymore. This isn't the first time I have spiralled down this far and it will not be the last, but after so long, you just want it to be over already. When will life throw me a bone? When will things get better, and how? I don't know. For now, the hope of achieving success in art, animation, and hopefully game design is the only light I can see at the end of this tunnel. Hopefully it isn't too much farther. I grow tired of being depressed. It is starting to affect my education and attitude. And I don't want to be a miserable prick for the rest of my life.

That's what I get for making a blog past midnight. CURSE YOU TYPO!

So it has been some time since I have done a blog, so I was thinking of doing another art dump, but I was wondering of any of you had any particular request for what art I should collect. As long as it isn't grimdark of R34.

Here are a few ideas I have had for games and other media forms I have had over the years 1. CO-OP ROLEPLAYING GAME! The year is 2082. Humanity has seen better days. Several world powers are at war, but it seems that there are no actual humans fighting the wars that plague the planet. A new form of technology has been created, cyborgs of sorts. These machines start out as blank canvases. Think the robots from Futurama that can have any personality installed on them, but a bit different. They are made to be perfect copies of humans. They move like them, act like them, bleed like them, and die like them. It's like making a clone, right then and there. Just a bit more sensitive to EMP them other people. Different powers and corporations will upload a single generic soldier identity to them and send them off to fight. A shipment of these blank bots is flying over the ruins of an old city, when the helicopter begins taking fire. As it takes evasive maneuvers, two containers come loose, falling into the remains of an old apartment building. Upon landing, the creation sequence begins, allowing you to make whatever character you wish, both cosmetically, and through different specialization that will affect how you progress through the game. Once out, you meet with the robot from the other container, both lacking memories, objectives, or motives, and decide to work together to find a way out of the ruins. From there, you can work together to explore this new world, which can contain urban areas, slums, ruins, and much more in the yet to be named city that the game will take place in. You can choose who to side with, what methods to utilize, both in combat and out, and what you do and in what order. Total freedom. It can be playing in single player. 2. EQUESTRIA ROLEPLAY! The game opens up in a dream like state, with you in the first person. A mysterious entity comes to you, telling you of a purpose you are meant to serve. You are told that you will be traveling to a land far away from here, but in order to make the trip, you would have to become one of the native inhabitants of the land, as your kind cannot enter this world. You are shown several gateways, each with a silhouette above. These species, act as classes of sorts, similar to Mass Effect classes. You can choose from Unicorn (Adept, Mage), Pegasus, (Rogue), Earth Pony (Warrior, Soldier), Griffion (Warrior/Rogue, Infiltrator), Changeling (Mage/Rogue, Sentinal), or Dragon (Warrior/Mage, Vanguard). From there, you can customize appearance, and then you are given a choice of where in Equestria you would like to arrive in. All of these elements determine how your story progresses and evolves as you travel across Equestria. While the first idea plays out like Deus Ex or Fallout, this one plays out like Dragon Age or Mass Effect, complete with morality, companions, romance, ect. Also like a Bioware RPG, you are always trying to stop a major threat, but how you do it is where morality and choices come into play. Each race will have it's own special abilities, like winged creatures can fly, horned creatures can use magic, or more specifically, Changelings can disguise as enemies for sneak attacks, Dragons use fire and elemental based magic, Griffions can use claws, ect. What do you guys think?

@, (Likewise. I had not an idea of what to post in response.) Nexus entered the room, and wrinkled his nose at the stench and sight. The King-or what's left of him-lay off to the side. "Merda. I don't think I've ever seen a pony shredded like that. This Presence isn't screwing around." He took a last glance over to the pile, whispering under his breath. "Che tu possa riposare in pace, altezza." Before beginning to search the room.

Xbox 360

In Revelations, I went through and did all of the first person Desmond Puzzle sections. And after completing the last one, it reset my progress to zero. 23 Hours of gameplay just gone. Like it never happened.

@, @, I was wondering when we could get going again. I understand if time is an issue due to real life.

@, @, (Might as well) Nexus followed closely behind, claws and blades at the ready. Every now and again, he would glance over to Lume, to make sure nothing had happened. He really should give her more freedom, and he wanted to, but damnit he just knew something bad was going to happen. He felt it deep inside him. When they found the seal for the Presence, he remembered something. "Do we have a status on the emerald? Like, is it there yet?"

@, @, Nexus said nor did nothing as Lume began to hit her head against his armored chest, before jumping slightly at her sudden bright mood. He walked slowly to Karma, speaking lowly. "I uh....I think I broke my marefriend." He spoke up to a normal tone. "Anyway, shall we be off to the study? As soon as we trap the Presence, we should get that giant emerald ready for the blast. Let's hope this works."

@, @, Nexus chuckled lightly, moving closer to Lume and placing a foreleg on her shoulder. "If the Presence is here, splitting up wouldn't be a good idea. Nopony here would survive a one-on-one confrontation with it. But don't think for a second that your input is not valued, even if it isn't followed. You just got to look at it logically, not emotionally. And I know your smart enough to do it." He finished with a light nuzzle to her cheek, before turning his head towards Karma. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna make out with her this time. That comes later." He said, hoping that Lume would calm down so they could move on.

@, @, Nexus entered the Inner Castle with the group of Inquisitors, who looked quite nervous, and began to search for anything of use. He felt something crawling on his leg, and looked down to see a medium sized spider crawling on it. With a quick fluid motion, he swatted the creature off, luckily without being bit. "Cazzo cosa..." He muttered to himself. He approached Karma and Lume in time to here about the idea of searching the library. "That is an option, but I would imagine thatif this spell is as important as it is, the King would hide it either in the throne room or his private quarters. At least, that's my guess."

@@slimmyjimjim, Nexus looked over at him,a neutral expression on his face. He wasn't surprised that he fed off somepony else, as that was likely the reason he was in a feeding frenzy, but it raised a thought. "Why can't you control yourself after feeding. No other changeling I've encountered has lost themselves after feeding like that. Usually, it takes a life or death scenario for a changeling to go feral." "You sure do know a lot bout these changelings." "Well, I have spent the better half of my life hunting them." Dusty was understandably surprised, but remained silent as they continued to the doctor. Or whoever this was that they were being led to. "How are you able to keep moving with such a wound, by the way?"

@@slimmyjimjim, Dusty ran over, ready to attack, but Nexus held a hoof up to signal him to stay back. Nexus returned the hug-rather awkwardly-before speaking up. "Yes, well, despite my best efforts, I am still alive. Though things have changed. As for Luminari, I don't know. I think she said something about returning to town." Nexus slowly pried off the changeling, noticing his leather armor stained in a green substance. "Parcel, your bleeding. Badly. You attacked an innocent pony and without knowledge of who you were, I knocked you off with my blade. Come, let us find you a doctor." He turned to Dusty, who had a mixed look, ranging from caution, concern, and confusion. "Do you think we could make a detour to the hospital? "Ah don't think bringin' a changeling to a hospital that was invaded by their kind would be the best idea, Axel." This caused a deep frown on the hybrids face, though his eyes were shielded from view. "But Ah no somepony that can help ya out. He owes me a favor anyway. But uh, ya sure we can trust him. He did just try to bite mah neck." "Yeah, he gets that way when he feeds, that's why he almost never does. He nearly killed me before, but that is behind me." "Alright. Follow me."

@@slimmyjimjim, Nexus and Dusty engaged in small talk, though the brown earth pony was the one leading, as Nexus wasn't really in the mood to talk. The southerner was proving to be enjoyable companionship, though in the back of his mind, the hybrid still worried that his partner was out feeding on some poor bastard with a soft spot for mares. He figured he could just hit her with some negativity. Not enough to drain her, just enough to make his point. He had plenty to go around. "So this funny little pegasus nearly rams into me, carryin' all kindsa papers I can't make heads r tails of, sa-GAH!" Nexus was blown on his back, but he was quick to get to his hooves, seeing a cloaked figure on his new friend, trying to sink a pair of fangs into him. Luckily, it looks like Dusty was holding it back, but he couldn't keep it up forever. The hybrid was quick to act, galloping forward. "No, you don't!" He brought a foreleg back, a blade extending out of his gauntlet, and he gave it a underhoof swing, knocking the cloaked figure off, creating a deep gash in it's chest. He helped Dusty off, asking if he was OK. "Ahm fine. But what the hay was that thing?" "If I had to guess, I'd say a...changeling." Nexus facehoofed, thankful that his blade was retracted. "What's the matter, pardner?" "Damnit, I think I know this changeling, and if so, then she has nopony to blame for her injury but herself!" He said loudly enough for the figure to hear. "Wait...is that your friend you're talkin bout earlier?" Damn, he gave away too much. "It's complicated. I'll explain later, for now I need to go check to see if this is who I think it is." Nexus trotted over to the figure, pulling to hood back to find... "Parcel?!?!"