ActFast231

So I decided to put this here instead of posting it in Life Advice, plus this is more of a vent on my part. But as always, any aid is appreciated. What happened today was I was at school, and was on a laptop. I was rather down and apathetic, so I look up apathy and see how it can be fought. The wikipedia page was informative enough, though I saw it was linked to Aspergers syndrome. Now I am looking into getting screened for this, but I decided to look anyway. The symptoms-formal or sophisticated speech, one sided conversations, the forced, awkward, social interaction that lead to failed friendships, fast speech...hell, even the single mindedness and odd aversions to food. Every fucking problem, the source of my loneliness, the bullying, maybe even my small build and diabetes...All of it could of been because of this malfunction in my head. Something that went unnoticed for 16 years. As I read the symptoms, I felt myself slipping, and got into a secluded area. And then I lost it. After a month of depression, my health fucking up...this was the last straw on the camels back. After some time, not sure how long I stayed there, I came out, head hung, hiding behind my hair. I moved like a zombie for the rest of the day. Still am, in a sense. I return home, and after a dump fight with my parents that hit my current weak point, what was left of my emotion drained out. In my room, away from others, of course. In a way, I'm glad it happened. This has been something that has been building up for awhile. But now I feel more broken than ever. I just want things to get better. I want to be happy. But lately, that has been getting harder and harder to achieve. I have no urge to game, Youtube isn't funny anymore. This isn't the first time I have spiralled down this far and it will not be the last, but after so long, you just want it to be over already. When will life throw me a bone? When will things get better, and how? I don't know. For now, the hope of achieving success in art, animation, and hopefully game design is the only light I can see at the end of this tunnel. Hopefully it isn't too much farther. I grow tired of being depressed. It is starting to affect my education and attitude. And I don't want to be a miserable prick for the rest of my life.

That's what I get for making a blog past midnight. CURSE YOU TYPO!

So it has been some time since I have done a blog, so I was thinking of doing another art dump, but I was wondering of any of you had any particular request for what art I should collect. As long as it isn't grimdark of R34.

Here are a few ideas I have had for games and other media forms I have had over the years 1. CO-OP ROLEPLAYING GAME! The year is 2082. Humanity has seen better days. Several world powers are at war, but it seems that there are no actual humans fighting the wars that plague the planet. A new form of technology has been created, cyborgs of sorts. These machines start out as blank canvases. Think the robots from Futurama that can have any personality installed on them, but a bit different. They are made to be perfect copies of humans. They move like them, act like them, bleed like them, and die like them. It's like making a clone, right then and there. Just a bit more sensitive to EMP them other people. Different powers and corporations will upload a single generic soldier identity to them and send them off to fight. A shipment of these blank bots is flying over the ruins of an old city, when the helicopter begins taking fire. As it takes evasive maneuvers, two containers come loose, falling into the remains of an old apartment building. Upon landing, the creation sequence begins, allowing you to make whatever character you wish, both cosmetically, and through different specialization that will affect how you progress through the game. Once out, you meet with the robot from the other container, both lacking memories, objectives, or motives, and decide to work together to find a way out of the ruins. From there, you can work together to explore this new world, which can contain urban areas, slums, ruins, and much more in the yet to be named city that the game will take place in. You can choose who to side with, what methods to utilize, both in combat and out, and what you do and in what order. Total freedom. It can be playing in single player. 2. EQUESTRIA ROLEPLAY! The game opens up in a dream like state, with you in the first person. A mysterious entity comes to you, telling you of a purpose you are meant to serve. You are told that you will be traveling to a land far away from here, but in order to make the trip, you would have to become one of the native inhabitants of the land, as your kind cannot enter this world. You are shown several gateways, each with a silhouette above. These species, act as classes of sorts, similar to Mass Effect classes. You can choose from Unicorn (Adept, Mage), Pegasus, (Rogue), Earth Pony (Warrior, Soldier), Griffion (Warrior/Rogue, Infiltrator), Changeling (Mage/Rogue, Sentinal), or Dragon (Warrior/Mage, Vanguard). From there, you can customize appearance, and then you are given a choice of where in Equestria you would like to arrive in. All of these elements determine how your story progresses and evolves as you travel across Equestria. While the first idea plays out like Deus Ex or Fallout, this one plays out like Dragon Age or Mass Effect, complete with morality, companions, romance, ect. Also like a Bioware RPG, you are always trying to stop a major threat, but how you do it is where morality and choices come into play. Each race will have it's own special abilities, like winged creatures can fly, horned creatures can use magic, or more specifically, Changelings can disguise as enemies for sneak attacks, Dragons use fire and elemental based magic, Griffions can use claws, ect. What do you guys think?