Jump to content
Banner by ~ Ice Princess Silky

. eris .

User
  • Posts

    817
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Blog Entries posted by . eris .

  1. . eris .
    Dear Reader,
     
    You.
    You are a fighter.
    Don't ever forget that.
     
    The world is a gladiator arena, full of jeering crowds and savage beasts, and you've been thrown into the middle of it with no protection. You're pitted against your fellow man, your skills, brawn, and brain against his. One slip up, and you're dead.
     
    You'll get battered. The more you hurt, the more delighted the crowds seem to become. The world will become one huge pit of laughing, mocking faces and you'll feel the weight of their cruel delight on your back. The tears will sting your eyes and mingle with your sweat and blood, but you'll get up again. Because the crowd will only cheer when you die.
     
    Sometimes, you'll look up to the heavens and plead that you're too tired. You're too spent. You just want it to end, you want the lions to break their chains and fall upon you. You would throw yourself at them, except you don't have the courage.
     
    And it will feel like the heavens don't answer, like God himself is interested in other matters, besides the pain and scourging of one battle-weary gladiator. You'll get to your feet, but there's no energy behind your blows, and your opponent is winning. The crowd is winning.
     
    Just when you feel like everything is lost, like there is no other choice but to fall on your own blade and be done with it, there will be a hush. The crowd will fall silent, and even the lions will stop roaring. Your opponent will let his sword fall, and the whole world will be staring at you, lying on the ground, as you sob in the dust.
     
    And then He'll crouch next to you. He'll take off your helmet, pass a hand over your grimy brow, and close your eyes. He'll pick you up effortlessly, cradling you close to him, stronger than any man you've ever seen, and he'll take you away from the gladiator field. He'll take away the need to fight, because once He's bathed your wounds and washed your body, He'll pick up your helmet. He'll wrap you in soft clothes, and then pick up the sword you used to fight for your life.
     
    He'll dress himself in your armor, and step out onto the field. The crowd will scream with delight, because they have a new victim, they have a new person to laugh at. He'll take their blows and their insults for you. While you sleep and rest, clothed and comfortable, he'll take every cut, every bruise, every broken bone that was meant for you.
     
    Because you are both fighters.
    And He loves you more than you will ever be able to comprehend.
     
    Yours,
    Earl
  2. . eris .
    Dear Reader,
     
     
    It's not often that a song strikes a chord in me. To be perfectly honest, ninety percent of what I listen to is mindless garbage that I wouldn't recommend to anyone. For some reason, I'm attracted to trash when it comes to music. But every once in a while, when I am in a particularly creative or melancholy mood, I'll stumble upon a little gem like this one.
    is a song I'd never heard of, although I vaguely remembered The Script from such smash hits as Breakeven.
    It made me wonder, Dear Reader. I've never been in a serious relationship. This is a problem I plan on rectifying upon graduating from college, while I pursue my career. Until this point, I see no reason in investing energy in dating, until I'm old and mature enough to seriously look for a long-term companion. Not a common thought for a nineteen year old, hormone-addled girl, I'm sure.

    I've always thought about relationships in a soft-focus, romanticized way, since I've never had any basis other than books and movies. But this song, which I can't stop listening to, made me wonder. Do I want to have that kind of power over a person? Do I want to be able to crush someone with a single word or action? This thought terrifies me - absolute power corrupts absolutely, as they say.

    I don't ever want to drive a man to that point. I don't want to get a call in the middle of the night, hearing a broken man on the other end of the line, saying that he still loves me. That's a position I never want to put anyone in. I may just be gun-shy, but that kind of power frightens me.

    If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure.

    How could I do that to someone? It may be my too-often exploited compassionate streak coming through, but I'm at the age where I'm looking around at men and going, I could see myself marrying him. Those kind of thoughts frighten me as well. How could I say no to someone who would promise to love me forever, to stay with me, to give me everything he has and everything he will be?

    Yours,
    Earl


  3. . eris .
    Dear Reader,
     
    Stop it!
     
    You heard me, I said stop it!
     
    Stop looking in that mirror. You know what mirror I'm talking about. The mirror that you think tells you the truth, but only tells you lies. You look in the mirror and it shows you as an overweight, unattractive loser with too much time on your hands and not enough life ahead of you. That mirror tells you that you have too many troubles, it's telling you that you have too many hard problems to deal with right now. It's saying that your childhood was awful, your parents hate you, or you don't have any friends.
     
    You're doing it again! Stop it, I said!
     
    That mirror needs to be broken, because all it does is tell lies. You're young. You have so much life ahead of you! You're strong and beautiful, and if you don't believe that, then you've been looking in that "mirror" too long. It's not really a mirror - a mirror tells the truth.
     
    Let me hold up a real mirror.
     
    You are strong. You're strong enough to last through any problems you've been given. You can get up off your knees and start walking ahead again. You are strong because you've made it this far, because I can tell you that life, as a general rule, can kind of suck. But look how far you've come - and look how much you have left to discover! You have so much ahead of you.
     
    You are beautiful. I don't care if you've been told every day of your life that you're ugly - you're not. You are beautiful, and I don't mean that you've had six-pack abs all your life but people hate you because you have a crooked nose. I mean you're beautiful from the inside out. Do you know how many gorgeous people have ugly, shriveled souls that have never been nurtured by a good or kind word? Do you know how many of those people you could touch, with just a bright smile or cheerful hello?
     
    All those problems you have in life? You can't overcome them alone. And I'm serious about this, if you try to mount those obstacles by yourself, you will just throw up a white hankie and keel over in the dust. Because life isn't mean to be handled by one person, it's meant to be handled by everybody. You are responsible for impacting the lives around you, just like everyone else is responsible for impacting the lives around them. You need to reach out - to family, to friends, or to God. You need to talk to someone, you need someone to carry you for a little while. Reach out - take someone's hand.
     
    You can't do this alone, I'm afraid. And the most alone you make yourself, the bigger those problems will look.
     
    Break that mirror. Step away from those poisonous lies. I want you to stop looking at the jumping off point - stop looking at me like that. You know what point I'm talking about. We've all been there. There's a point that mirror pushes you to go every day - every time you look in that mirror, you get pushed a little farther. And one day, all it'll take for you to jump off is a little push...
     
    And it won't be gravity pulling you down. It'll be all those problems piling on your back.
     
    So take a deep breath and step away. Go for a walk, go someplace nice. Treat yourself - just a little splurge. A piece of candy, a mocha.
     
    And then go home and take a frigging sledgehammer to that mirror.
     
    Signing Off,
    Miss Earl Grey
×
×
  • Create New...