It does change it a little bit, however I do think that the way you are portraying it works just as well. Since you are the artist i will post the other lines up as well and let you choose which one to use.
Alex awoke to the sound of birds chirping, ponies going about their business outside and the smell of freedom. Today was the day he was going to be free from the tortures of Luna and dreamwalking. He took a deep breath. “Today is going to be the best day ever.”
“Why?”
“Because today is the day I don’t have to do my service anymore and I get to go to a party and why the hell are you in my bed Pinkie?” He realized, laying down because last night was a complete blur. He recalled getting some cider with Pinkie then nothing else. “No, seriously, why the hell are you in my bed?”
“I’ll give you a hint, its a four letter word.” Pinkie replied, with a snicker.
Oh Celestia, she raped me? How the hell did she even...
“The word is food. You promised me pancakes after a drunken bet that I couldn't drink more than you.” She said, a rather flat tone to her usually bubbly voice. “I like mine with chocolate chips and whip cream.”
Oh thank Celestia, I thought I just had forced sex with a party pony. “Well, that's good. Wait, I promised you pancakes?”
Extra context: Alex is in servitude to Luna for several days and is forced into manual labor
Sorry for clustering up the page so much guys, hope that you all can forgive me on this one today.