Where to start..... I'm sorry? I guess that alone won't fix it and I know that. All right.. I really REALLY wanted to draw all of your requests and I was so happy and excited when I got them that I immediately began to draw out the rough sketches, then more came in and I sketched them. I had big plans for them all. I wanted them all to be finished, inked and colored. The more I drew though, the more words of my past came to the surface. "You're just wasting paper" "Why don't you do something more productive?" "Your art sucks" "What is that garbage?" You get the idea. If these came from peers or even my teachers, I don't think it would bother me today as much as it does, but these all came from my parents and is something I've dealt with my entire life. I'm not using that as an excuse either. My only real explanation for you all that most likely gave up on ever seeing even this much from me is that I let these comments get to me again and depression kicked in once more and only got worse if I tried to force myself to finish them, telling myself "they won't like them" "why are you bothering? There are way better artists out there." And if I didn't, I felt like I was a failure, a quitter, which angered and frustrated me to the point where I was too ashamed of myself to even come back here. I avoided this site in short I suppose and I hate myself for it.
I don't expect you to forgive me or feel sorry for me. I don't expect you to like these so don't feel obligated to say "but they are so good" or "it's all right" if it's not what you want to say. I just wanted to post what I've got after a year of fighting with myself and hope that you'll forgive me. I don't really deserve it, but it is my hope. I'll be leaving here after this. I don't have a place in this community really. I'm sorry.