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Misty Rose

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Blog Entries posted by Misty Rose

  1. Misty Rose
    You were there to pull me out of the darkness, you were there to tell me you care. I honestly can't comprehend how someone could care so much about me being this far apart, but you have truly demonstrated your loyalty and kindness, and for that I will always be grateful.
     
    You can be sure I'll never leave you alone. Just like you promised to never abandon me I will never do that as well. You have proven to be a true friend, a rare gem to find in a world so cruel. How could I possibly leave this all behind without hurting my dear friend? Truth be told we are going through similar emotional situations even though our surroundings are different. We may both feel lonely, we may both be trying to discover who we are and what our purpose is on this Earth, but at least we have each other.
     
    I am beyond thankful to have a friend like you. I guess I can say you have showed me that Friendship is Magic <3 Love ya girlfriend, you're the best BFF I could ever ask for, and if life allows it, I would be honored to give you a great big hug in person.
     
    You were there to pull me out of the darkness, you were there to tell me you care, and for that I thank you....Cassandra
  2. Misty Rose
    I don't think I'll watch it Too many memories and I honestly think the show's depiction of joy and friendship will just be a big slap to the face for me -_- I'll think about it....but I'm honestly not hyped about it I really don't want to leave ponies behind....but my life would honestly be a little better if I had never watched them in the first place
  3. Misty Rose
    Gonna go see the movie tonight, PRE PREMIERE! I can't wait! Let's hope it's great and even better than the first movie
     
    Oh and as for what I thought of Cinderella which I saw last night, awesome! I personally liked it
  4. Misty Rose
    So I'm gonna see Cinderella tonight, Insurgent tomorrow and I have guaranteed passes to see Age of Ultron when it comes out!!!
     
    Pays off to have a cousin working in a radio station *coughs* Scrubs *cough* lol jk point is I have something to distract me for awhile
     
    If only I could have this much luck in getting a laptop
  5. Misty Rose
    I'm gonna give my thoughts on Big Hero 6 tomorrow but for now I'll say this.
     
    So I watched The Lego Movie tonight and just like Guardians of the Galaxy I feel I've heard a little too many positive reviews. Of the big animated movies last year, this was obviously the one geared completely towards kids. It's not awesome as I heard many people (even adults) call it. It was simply a fun crazy experience that is best watched with kids
     
    Though I can say one great thing about it, I can definitely say that I've found the impersonation of my future self in Emmet The way he acted in the beginning with no friends, nothing special about him, lonely, that'll most certainly be me
  6. Misty Rose
    Welcome to my Recovery Plan
     
    In order to stop crying over my losses, I'm gonna try to do alot to get that out of my head and not let it affect me....except when I really can't hold back my tears
     
    So I've developed a sort of recovery plan to keep myself busy and do shiz
     
    1. Since I don't have a laptop at the moment, my first priority is convincing my family to let me buy another one so I can go back to doing vectors and other things That definitely helped me in the past and it should now. Also I'll be able to play some online games
     
    2. Look at food porn LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD PORN! Chocolate mainly I'm doing that right now actually and the wonderful images blur out all negative thoughts
     
    3. Watch funny videos, Gravity Falls, and hopefully ponies when I feel up to it again
     
    4. Talk to my cousins a little more and watch Top Model with the guy because why not?
     
    5. EAT CHOCOLATE!
     
    And that's pretty much it. Wish me luck in hopefully keeping myself in a stable mood
  7. Misty Rose
    http://www.apple.com/macbook/ It's so beautiful and I want it I have more than enough money to buy it but my cousins tell me to wait until June when the price goes down Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think Apple products become cheaper unless a new model comes out Does anybody know?
  8. Misty Rose
    And so God was a woman, and that woman was Scarlett Johansson......
     
    Lol so I just saw Lucy for the first time and I gotta say it was impressive...yet full of blatantly impossible crap....but it had Morgan Freeman so that's something
     
    That's all I gotta say, I won't say it's terrible like most people have but it was definitely....something
     
    Off to watch Big Hero 6 now
  9. Misty Rose
    I most likely have failing grades in almost all my classes.....there's only conflict at home....no one loves me anymore....I'm at the pit of my existence -_-
     
    I don't see how things can get any better, I'll most likely have to repeat ninth grade again and delay my graduation even further, I'm already behind by two years, I don't want anymore Everything is going wrong for me, I can't study and retain the information, I'm forgetting things easily....I'm losing myself -_-
     
    I need help but no one can aid me, why do other people have a family and friends? What did I ever do to deserve this chaos? I just want my life back....I want my happiness again
  10. Misty Rose
    Peace is something I wish I had now more than ever. I wish there were days where I could just have time to think or cry with no interruptions. I wish I could have privacy and no criticism or negativity around me. I would love to run away to a field or hill and just cry out to the heavens in pain.
     
    What I want is to be able to have one day where I can have peace and be alone. I have homework almost every weekday and I want my weekends to at least be carefree. My family however never lets me have the peace I want and need so badly
     
    I sometimes wish I wasn't afraid of suicide...it's the only way I can have real peace I can't have it as long as I'm here -_- But I have to deal with it because God won't like it if I kill myself I just wish I could....
  11. Misty Rose
    So I've decided to start watching Without A Trace again (cause why not ) and I've sort of developed a little fear in regards to my future.
     
    Since I'll be moving to America (most likely never) in two years or so I'm worried about what can happen. My family wants me to go back to Houston and live with my aunt or at least close to the family there. But I really just want all family out of my life, I don't want anyone checking on me or criticizing me anymore. Plus Houston isn't the best place to live without a car, and I don't want to depend on my family to get anywhere.
     
    Therefore I've decided without a doubt I'm still moving to Redlands. It's the best place I can go since it has everything I need and want within biking distance of the apartments I hope to live in. But....since I'm watching a show dealing with missing people, that's where my fear comes in
     
    I'm scared that since my ex no longer gives a damn about where I go or do, he won't want to help me once I move. So even if I go to Redlands or anywhere else, I'll be alone. If anything bad happens to me no one will miss me or inquire about my whereabouts. I could have an accident at home and if I die no one will find the body unless I miraculously die around the time the rent is due
     
    So yeah I'm pretty scared....if I'm kidnapped, raped, followed, no one will know. As much as I want my freedom there are tremendous risks that come with being alone, and this is one of them
     
    Plus there's also the fact that even my mom had help when we moved while in Houston, I'll have no help whatsoever and I'll be taking at least two suitcases with me, I don't know how to cook much, and I can't even clean a bathroom. So I'm pretty much screwed -_- My ex seriously expects me to just take this humongous step in my life completely by myself and even though I look forward to it, I'm scared
     
    I don't know what I'll do....
  12. Misty Rose
    If there's anything my relationship with my ex taught me it's this...don't trust anyone!! Someone who I told everything to, who I gave my heart and love to, who seemed so kind and loving and I thought would never hurt me ended up stabbing me in the back. That pretty much shows I can't trust anyone like that again, never get close to anyone again so I won't be as hurt if they leave My mom had to learn that, and she went through many rough experiences because she thought maybe things could be better the next time, but they never were.
     
    From now on no one will know about my past, no one will be able to know what I'm completely going through at home, they'll just see how I present myself to them -_- I gave that knowledge about me to someone and they hurt me, so I'm not letting that happen again
     
    My decision is final...if I ever get into a relationship again it will only be because he actually proved he won't hurt me. I won't trust anyone so easily again just because we went through the same experiences. I'd rather remain single forever than go through more pain. If my future man wants me, he has to earn me and prove how much he wants to heal me. I won't be someone else's trash again -_-
  13. Misty Rose
    I've had this really sad feeling lately. I feel bad that I haven't and never will have the same experiences other teens my age go through. I've been very locked up my whole life basically. My mom went through pretty terrible experiences throughout her life, and she really wanted to hold on tightly to the only positive thing she had left, me. Therefore she was terribly overprotective and clingy, and while I didn't mind during my younger years, there did come a time when a friend or two would ask if I wanted to hang out after school and I always had to say I wasn't allowed to
     
    So I feel pretty terrible, I'm 16 and by the time I leave I'll be 18 or older. I'll be launched straight into adulthood and be forced to mature faster than others. I won't have any support from family or friends and I'll have to do everything on my own so it will definitely be a tough experience. I wish I could have had at least some of the experiences other people my age do, summer camp, hanging out with friends, dating, but unfortunately I was kept away from all of that
     
    Most of those are experiences I'll most likely never have, and it sucks that while most people consider their teen years the best of their life, they've honestly been the worst for me
  14. Misty Rose
    And now for something more positive! So finally Jared Leto cut that long mane of his so he can start filming as the Joker and we now have this
     
    https://mobile.twitter.com/DavidAyerMovies/status/572475580962242561/photo/1
     
    Sexiness :wub: Can't wait to see how he looks with the Joker makeup!
  15. Misty Rose
    Yes this "overrated" song is still important to me It represents the kind of freedom I wish to achieve. I want to reach that point in my life where I can finally be myself where there are no rules with how to act, where I can express myself the way I see fit, where I can be free with no restraints
     
    Yes I don't have ice powers, but I am definitely being held back from letting out my true self, I'm in a prison that I want to break out of. I'll be alone in the future but I'll be free and content with that at least I know I'll cry, but I'll finally be able to let out that pain with screams of agony instead of holding it all in.
     
    Like Elsa I wish to let it all go, break free from my bonds and not give a damn about what anyone thinks. Wish me luck my friends....there is still a humongous chance I may not be able to enjoy that precious freedom
     
    But if I can, this will be the first song I'll play from my new apartment
     
    This was cheesy as hell I know...but I honestly don't give a crap
     

  16. Misty Rose
    My family's driving me over the edge....when the only people I can actually talk to constantly bring me down, call me a liar, and insist I'm doing things wrong, it drives me closer to my breaking point! I need to get out of here!! Dear God help me! I'm in such a negative spot that's affecting me mentally, I just want to be in peace
  17. Misty Rose
    I wish my grandma would quit her threats and just hit me so that everyone can see that this is no fucking joke
     
    You all think I'm only exaggerating, that I'm making a big deal out of this, when I have a grandma always threatening to knock my teeth out, you can see why I can't be happy here
     
    If she ever does hit me I can't even go to the police down here. If my life ever becomes worse I'm screwed. If things get to that level I WILL kill myself. That will be my final limit. The worst part is not even my ex is willing to aid me when I need a friend to talk to I have no one
  18. Misty Rose
    Recently I've been wishing that my dad would just drop dead. I know that's not a good thought to have but I can't help it....my mom's dead because of him, we were almost evicted out of our apartment because of him, I'm stuck where I am with no way out because of him IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!
     
    *sigh* I hate my dad, he's never done anything good for me -_-
  19. Misty Rose
    It's hard to believe how someone who said you changed their life suddenly leaves you behind, someone who said you were the light of their days leaves you in the darkness. It's very hard to let go, it's even harder to not think about the wonderful happy memories you had together. What hurts even more is I actually think he may be influenced by someone else, bad company perhaps...all I know is that it hurts very much to let go
     
    Now when I see his pictures instead of seeing my dear lover I see someone who just wasn't meant for me, someone too amazing for me and I deserve much worse If God didn't want this relationship to be a reality, then maybe he just wants me to be with someone else who is poor, someone perverted with bad qualities -_- If he wants me to be with someone like my dad then so be it The dreams I had were too good to be true, someone much better than me will get to live them, because I don't deserve the best -_-
  20. Misty Rose
    Well I've been searching the interwebs today and have found there are quite a few voice acting schools out there, especially in Cali
     
    So I've added a little something to my future plans, I'm going to take some voice acting classes first since they're way cheaper than the fees for the acting school I wish to go to. This'll be some good practice for me and can open up even more opportunities for my future.
     
    Please wish me luck in these future endeavors everyone, I know I'll have more than enough money for this by the time I move....but acting school will be a little tougher financially. Whatever happens, I hope I do well
  21. Misty Rose
    A big issue that has been attacking me as of late is homework, and due to my depression and genuine disgust for my situation I have immense focusing issues when it comes to homework
     
    Same goes for class, I can't focus because my mood just dampens my will to learn. Any suggestions that can help?
  22. Misty Rose
    Since I can't communicate through status updates, all I have are blogs -_- So expect to see random things here.
     
    Today's been incredibly stressful......
     
    I had a hard time at school, I came home wanting to relax since I have no homework but now I have a headache
     
    I'm stuck helping a family friend's kid out with English and.....she's a pain in the butt -_-
     
    I just wanted to relax....dear God give me a break
  23. Misty Rose
    So I'm watching Legally Blonde right now.....and I can really relate to my current feelings of wanting to mature and do great in my future to somehow impress and win back my ex since he wants to be more serious now Typical feelings after a breakup....but I hope that those feelings will wear off and that like Elle I won't need that goal keeping me going in the end
     
    Quite a strange comparison I know but hey I felt like talking about my future today I won't go to law school like in the movie, I'll go to acting school, get two jobs most likely to pay for my apartment, learn how to drive, cook and clean up my home. While at first I'll have the motivation to hopefully make my ex proud of me, I know that's a selfish reason to want to succeed. Instead I should focus on making my mom proud and achieving my goals
     
    So in two years or more, I'm gonna get my game face on....wish me luck!
  24. Misty Rose
    School has been a very complicated issue for me so far....I haven't been doing too well
     
    So far here are the quiz scores I have.
     
    Math: 5.40
     
    Religion: 2
     
    Physics: Don't have the paper but I know it was a low score
     
    Science: 3
     
    English: 10 What a surprise
     
    Don't know what I got for Social Studies yet but I think I did well.....wish me luck everyone. This is a heck of alot to work on so I can improve
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