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Sir Hugsalot

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Blog Entries posted by Sir Hugsalot

  1. Sir Hugsalot
    Hi, everypony!
    As some of You know and the rest are about to find out, thanks to @Princess Silky I started reading again! Part of the task I accepted is that I will make blog entries that will contain my opinion and commentary about what I've read so far! 
    As first book I am going to touch I have the fantasy classic! The Fellowship of The Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien! I've already went through 3 chapters, but for today I will just give summaries for the first 2 and then do another 2 chapters tomorrow (as today I will ready chapter 4!). Afterwards I will cover a single chapter daily, unless, for any reason there won't be much to say 
    One last thing before we advance if anyone wishes to join this humble reading quest - my thoughts may contain spoilers!
    Anyway!
    My thoughts on chapter 1!
    And now chapter 2!
    That's it for now <3 Thank You to those who read my blog entry and here's a free hug *hugs* :3 
  2. Sir Hugsalot

    Anniversary time!

    By Sir Hugsalot,


    Sir Hugoholic:3's Blog
    This will be a lengthy one so strap in, my fellow mares and gentlecolts and be prepared for lots of hugs if You manage to cope with Sir Hugsalot til the end of this entry. 
    Here it is. 10th anniversary of mlpforums.com. Me? I joined this place in 2013 and I will always remember that time. Time, when I was very uncertain about my future, confused about the so-called "adult life" and - most of all - very closed off, insecure and unable to present myself anywhere as a fan of My Little Pony. 
    Being here back then was a therapeutic experience to me. I learned that I am not some weirdo with no connection to the real world. That the lesson I learned from Fluttershy about my own sensitive heart was a real one that I should follow. And I learned that there are amazing people in this world. People, who allowed me to open up, even if only a bit. I won't take long with this one - by now if not the forums I'd likely be another passionless soul living an uninspired and generally dull life. I owe this forum a lot and it's very dear to me. I am so happy to be here now, 10 years after it came to life to celebrate this wonderful day with entire community <3 
    Years 2013 and 2014 are symbolic to my life as that's when I truly started developing as a person and paved my way towards becoming who I am today. A way that, while there were times when I went astray from still is before me with my heart bright and ready to continue trotting on it. 
    Life can sometimes be full of surprises though and not all of them are positive. I had my struggles. Struggles that in the end led me to losing connection to this place and - through that - to people and even myself. Depression started eating me and my struggles felt hopeless until someone brought me back. To that someone I will be eternally grateful... I came here for my second chance... 
    It's the people of this place that gave me this chance, simply by existing. So this entry is to thank them. People, who make the forum for me today. Who greeted me here when depression was pounding violently on the door to my heart and made me embrace ponies more than I ever have in my life, literally saving me from losing myself again. I thank You all and now onto my favourite part - individual "thank Yous". 
    Let's begin, shall we? *I would insert emojis here, but they're blank xD*
    @Silky And how else would I begin this entry than by You? ;-; The biggest THANK YOU goes to You, Silky... You're the biggest influence that made me embrace myself. If not for You I wouldn't be here, celebrating and cherishing another wonderful day, embracing my inner pony. You're a true light even in the deepest darkness, to follow Star Silk's own talent - You've given me a potion of resurrection of my very soul and what You see now is result of me sipping on it. I tear up as I write this. "Thank You" doesn't even cut it. You're simply lovely in every possible regard and the debt I have to You I can never repay... Every principle of ponies lives and exists inside of You and it's because of You that I finally started embracing them. And Your inner Pinkie Pie... it will always make me giggle and smile, even when facing my worst fears... no wonder she's Your favourite when Your entire being is 100% her.
    @Astral Soul It wouldn't be a worthy blog entry without You, Astral. You're one of first people who greeted me as I returned. I won't beat around the bush, in many ways You are an inspiration to me, amazing person, who understands the show on the same depth that I do. You list Fluttershy as Your favourite pony (just like me) and You truly live up to principles she set. Some of my best experiences from recent months I share with You... <3 
    @TheRockARooster In no small part it is thanks to You that I believed in friendships again after bitterness was eating me from inside. When I returned You greeted me with open hooves. I will always be grateful for it. For how we got to really get to know each other, for Your authentic and wholesome attitude... 
    I am so happy to have You on board as my friend and then that You also joined my humble Minecraft server...
    @Dynamo Pad We've known each other for not so long, but You quickly became a very quality friend to me. I loved our recent discussion about Cutie Marks, Your ridiculous playfulness when You advice me to "go for the butt" against every enemy I am facing in any video game xD You're an incredible person, Dyny and every laughter and chat we shared brings smile to my face and makes me so incredibly happy to be part of this community again. 
    @Aticus the AdequateAnd there's my favourite Discord of mlpforums. I don't even know where to begin with You. How fitting for Discord to confuse me even in a "thank You" blog entry xD Seeing You alone makes me always so happy, because every time You appear things quickly become either VERY intellectual or COMPLETELY crazy. Like, have You ever heard of balance, my friend? You should try it sometimes xD Just kidding, never change, please! You inspire me with that! No matter what we end up talking about it's always a quality conversation that always makes me see the world on a much bigger scale than I have before. So that we don't skip our favourite word - You're one GROOVY individual! 
    @Lightwing Hello there, my old friend. You've dealt with my craziness with nothing but patience and no blog entry would do good without honoring that. Lightwing, You're not as active as You used to be here (we must fix that >:C) but to me You're an amazing friend. Never stop being Yourself, that silly, supportive, cheeky, but also smart person with lots of integrity. 
     
    And again, a big "Thank You so much" to the entire community, to all those who make this place feel like home and make it so much brighter with their smiles and laughter. 10 years and I still love this place. You're all amazing and I love You <3 And of course for making it all the way to the end HERE'S A BIG HUG!!!
     
    Yours truly,
    Sir Hugsalot <3 
  3. Sir Hugsalot

    An Apology

    By Sir Hugsalot,


    General
    I was going to do this yesterday, but I didn't want to mix positivity with negativity, so... here I am today.
    People who remember me from before remember me (I hope) as a generally open and kind person, maybe a little crazy random at times. Overall, needless to say, this forum was my safe haven when loneliness in real life became a burden I could handle no longer. I look at my past memories and I smile at them, miss them, feel nostalgic about them. Some of better times in my life, sincerely. 
    But then... people started leaving this place. Needless to say - it did not make me happy, I was here when forum was far bigger than it is today and I begun to feel lonely too... eventually... I also drifted away and I feel like by doing so I did what I hated when others did to me - I abandoned people. Some of those people I can no longer reach even, their accounts are dead and they've left no trace to track them down.... I feel like I've also broken my own principles, which sadly some people experienced (You know if You were one of those people). I am disappointed in myself, to You it may seem silly, but to me it's a way to mend a wound I inflicted upon myself and maybe some people too, people who cared about me yet felt like I just left them behind. 
    I love You, people. I love mlpforums. I want to contribute to the community only in a good way (and maybe contribute to making staff sing for our entertainment if given an opportunity ). Because yes, to those unaware - staff had to sing for us as part of Making Christmas Merrier. Would be a shame if we made them do it again, hmm? 
    So... I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I am so sorry for not living up to reputation I've made by always doing my best to make others happy, for betraying my own principles and for possibly hurting some by doing that. I don't know if any person involved will read this, but if they do then I hope they will forgive me 
    There is one person especially hurt by what I've done - to her no apology will be enough. Only me living up to my own expectations will matter and that is exactly, what I intend to do.
    I missed this place so much, being back here makes me feel alive again in certain ways nothing else can. But it did not feel right to be around and smile without letting out my own mistakes and being "clean" again. 
     
    I love You all!  Big hugs to all those, who were with me, reading this entire entry... much appreciated, even if You leave no comment. 
    ... actually *big hugs to everypony* 
     
  4. Sir Hugsalot
    So... today I saw the movie with my friend in the cinema. Needless to say it was yet another case of animated movie being deeper, more touching than "real" movies I've seen so far and reached Inside Out level of feels. One would say it is childish or that I am too old for such stuff. Or that it has nothing to offer for adults.
     
    But even when I saw trailers of it I knew I have to see it. And I knew story would relate to me a lot. And You know what? I was right.
     
    Most time when watching it I saw myself in the girl who was main character of it. When she allowed her mom to plan her entire life, when she was following it and rejecting everything else in order to satisfy her. It was literally me. The difference is - she eventually freed herself from that. Managed to do something I haven't done... yet. Because of it I realized how much of my life is already away. Wasted, because I've chosen false feeling of being safe over risking in order to do something I love. And I had many dreams I already have forgotten or foolishly marked as childish. I wanted to be musician for long part of my life. I wanted to travel all around the world and see what it has to offer. I even wanted to focus my life on learning about astronomy and physics in order to be able to be Polandball that can into space one day (I had to, sorry xD).
    And there were smaller ones: becoming a teacher, a therapist, even archeologist. Or simply living adventerous life. The one that would satisfy me fully and make me really happy.
     
    I've wasted it all and instead tried to force myself to become businessman just like my dad. I have almost bound myself to my hometown, place I really despise, because with all it has to offer it lacks love or even feeling of friendship - two things I so want in my life and would replace anything in order to have them. I've chosen school and I didn't realize for long time that when I chose it I looked behind and checked if my parents approve of it. All my decisions. Well, almost all of them were done with their approval. And when they didn't approve of something I instantly rejected that.
     
    It is kinda silly that an animated movie made me realize that, but it did. I ended up in tears, story itself was so touching and deep inside I hope end of my own will be similiar to that. That one day I will wake up and be able to say that I've lived my life fully and am happy about it. I literally ended up in tears during watching it because of that. Because it was a movie that ended up being very.. "personal" to me. I hope I will manage to fix my mistakes. And to all who read this - don't repeat them after me. Don't follow my steps, chase Your dreams, no matter how ridiculous they may appear to be.
     
    I don't know why I wrote all this. I feel like I didn't even write everything I want to say. But somehow deep inside I wanted to. Feel free to say what You think.
  5. Sir Hugsalot
    This entry will not be about me entirely...
     
    It will be about one of my first friends on forums and the one who I miss dearly and remember her to this day. Most of You probably don't know her even, but I feel like I have to write this.
     
    Her name (as well as forum name) was Natasha and she did not have easy life. No living relatives except for her brother, severe depression and social anxiety (to the point she had no real life friends neither) have proven to be a big problem to her. Here she has become friends with me and my other friend (who's name I won't mention unless he'll ask me too) and despite her mental issues she was one of bubbliest and most cheerful people I have met on forums. We were unable to talk a lot because of timezones, but every conversation we had was a fun one and I'd never find out about her issues if she did not reveal them herself. It was always most suprising and heartwarming to see her so happy despite having so sad life.
    I did not even have a chance to have any longer conversation with her (I hate You, timezones ) but my friend had more luck. They played TF2 from what I know and from what I know she was quite a player annoying everyone with how good she was in that We caught ourselves talking about her often and it always was either being worried about her or simply stating how fun person she is.
    We were also very happy to see her slowly getting better through months of our friendship, becoming slowly more confident and less shy (even if still much more shy than I ever was). Everything looked like soon she'll really be able to go out, meet people and get back on right track.
     
    How blind I was not to notice her happiness had other reason.
     
    On 20th march year ago her brother logged on her forum account. He brought no good news... he brought her suicide note and stated she has ended her life. Those news shattered me and as I said already - I still miss her. Only thing I want is knowing that wherever she is now she is back with her parents and that she is at peace.
     
    *sigh* at least me and my friend have brighten her last months, right? One of things her brother stated is how grateful he was that we were there with her. And I? I am glad she enjoyed our company, like I said - all I want about her is that she has found peace now after all the cruelty this world has given to her...
     
     
    You might wonder why I wrote this. Partially I wrote this to vent off. Partially to show her and myself that I still remember about her. To keep memory of her alive. I know some people disagree with what she did in the end (I too disagree, but I just can't be angry on her ) but please - show some respect here.
  6. Sir Hugsalot
    Well, this is it, I guess.
     
    When I first joined forums I did not expect to ever reach this point. I joined this place as it appeared to be a friendly one and at that point of life I desperately needed friends. I was unsure about my english, confused about size of forums and on top of all very shy and unable to approach total strangers even on the internet. I won't lie, my first days here were not easy, but it was already a relief, because from very first day I had friends who I could rely on and who allowed me to forget about all the stress I've been through in my real life. I got support, we were also having fun and in all of this my english was improving. Not to mention my shyness slowly disappearing, at least on the internet.
     
    It was honestly one of best decisions in my life to come here. Before forums being a brony was uneasy experience to me. I knew no bronies at all (the one who introduced me to the show... we barely even talked shortly after that) and it made me feel insecure around others, I wanted to get out of closet, but at the same time I knew that people like even my parents would be very angry about that part of me. I needed place like this, place where I could be 100% myself withot being worried of someone judging me over such trivial matters.
     
    Now I write all this... year after joining forums. It was a long year, full of changes in my life. But also full of fun both irl and here. I won't be bugging people with all the meetings with friends irl and stuff like that. It is not why I am writing this. But I remember all that happened during me being here. I remember silly truth or dare games with some of my first friends (and how I dared Sugar Cube to post a love poem on Artemis's profile roflmao), I remember all the randomness I took part in in forum games or status updates. About how I spammed people with hugs. About how Sugar Cube dared me to change my old name (Sajtan92) into Hugoholic unaware of the fact that soon everyone here will know me as Hugoholic.
    I remember my first friends, Blue Bay and our Borderlands 2 playing, SkyStorm and how she kept trying to get rid of my shyness (and how it ended with success, because she is just to stubborn to give up XD), Friendship Cannon, who sadly is not with us anymore and all the others who joined me later (it would take forever to write down all names lol).
     
    I want to say it to all to You, thank You. Thank You for being as awesome as You are right now, for all this funny stuff I saw there, for being with me both in good and bad times. For milions of hugs I got (xD) and... overall for everything.
     
    I suck at writing things like this lol
     
     
    I'd also like to mention "few" users by their names. I hope they won't be angry, if they will be I will hug them to death :comeatus:
     
    So.. *COUGH COUGH*
     
    Special thanks to:
     
    -Blue Bay - You were my first friend here. Literally first friend so You will be first here as well xD We don't talk that much anymore (I think it is time to change it) but I still consider You a friend. Thank You for being the first one who managed to survive with as annoying human being as me XD
    *hugs him* :v
     
    -SkyStorm - first pegasister friend (who I was so freaking shy to send PM to first XD) - like before we don't talk as often as we did anymore (even if we still are in touch) but You honestly helped me a lot on my first days. Because of You I started to feel more confident about myself. You were always a great friend to me and You can count on me every time You need help. Also You know, that I love Your OC, silly filly :comeatus:
    *TACKLE HUG FOR SKYSTORM*
     
    -Sugar Cube - one of my best friends here <3 creator of my current username, silly filly (one year older than me, but I don't care, filly You are, deal with it! ), another very supportive person and awesome moderator for few months. Creator of almighty blog entry "100 reasons why I love Applejack" and poor victim of my evil poem which she posted on Artemis's profile. You are lucky You don't live any closer or I'd hug You to death :3
    *hugs tight* :3
     
    -Dsanders - we don't talk that much anymore, but it's because of You why I became friends with Sugar Cube and for that fact itself I am grateful. You also were a fun guy who I always enjoyed to talk with (even if timezones were against us 90% of time) and also supported me on my worse days. We kinda talk less often now sadly, but I still wish all the best to You and that You and Pink Mist will eventually meet irl and Your relationship will go outside the internet
    *hugs* :3
     
    -Wingnut - one of my older friends here (I can call him my dad lol) but also a great guy and recently - a moderator. You helped me a lot in some points in my life, I always could've trusted You with all my personal problems. Such things I do not forget. BUT I STILL AM ANGRY ON YOU FOR PRETENDING TO BE SUGAR CUBE XD
    *hugs anyway* fineee xD
     
    -CadetGrey - SKYNEEERD and owner of one of cutest OCs on forums. Despite young age You are one of smartest people, somebody I can always rely on and You prove that the Netherlands are indeed a great place. I really wish that one day I could come over there, hug You irl and try some of Dutch dishes :comeatus: Also, I love Your voice
    *huggles* <3
     
    -Felix - a young silly filly who I can always rely on and a great friend. We had our long break (sadly) but now everything is back to normal and I hope You enjoy talking with me as much as I enjoy talking to You You will always be one of my besties so don't even suggest that eventually You will be alone. You won't be alone for as long as I live. Deal with it.
    *hugs* :3
     
    -Lightwing - creator of my fanclub (lol) and good friend who I can always laugh with about... everything actually. Trying hard to prove I am in love with Fluttershy or with any other pony. Don't worry, Lighty. I won't let You win in Your little game :comeatus: Oh, he is also my acolyte in hugs XD
    *hugs*
     
    -Anilewe - polish pegasisterrr <3 You are just awesome photographer and person and we really have to meet eventually. I remember times when You were supporting me and I always enjoyed talking with You. You are one of few people from Poland who I know as members of this fandom, but You are really one of best examples of them BIG HUG TO YOU
    *hugs*
     
    -SCS - marry me irl. topkek. lol
    ... ok, now seriously, You too were very supportive of me and are best admin I ever saw :comeatus: I also enjoyed our ridiculous conversations that had no point at all xD
    *hugs*
     
    -Spirit Rush - one of my newer friends, but a really cool guy and great artist. :comeatus: And I can't wait to see more of Your drawings :3 Oh, also You are great friend too!
    *hugs*
     
    -Nature of Fluttershy/Peachie - real sweetheart who too was very helpful at some points of my existance here, fellow Fluttershy fan and fun, lovable person :3 We need to talk more often!
    *huggles :33*
     
    -Blue Snowfire - You helped me a lot recently, and I am not going to forget that. Besides I love our conversations xD
    ehh..guess... *HUGS* xD
     
    -Diva Pony - probably oldest member of this forum who always offers me great advices, support and a great chat. I was unsure about messaging You first, but I definitely don't regret it!
    *hugs*
     
    -Amelia The Writer - person who I have most often talked with via Private Messages on forums :v You are always great friend to me and Your OC is so cute :3 Thanks for being there for me all the time
    *hugs* :3
     
    -Nihi The Brony - another great friend of mine who was very supportive recently and overall was great friend... sadly once again nothing original to write haha
    *hugs*
     
    -Wind Song - real sweatheart with very positive attitude :comeatus: I am glad to finally have Your skype name xD
    *hugs*
     
    -Quirky Username - great friend who I love joking around with. I miss our times when we were playing Prop Hunt XD Maybe one day Princess Luna will hug You irl :comeatus:
    *hugs* xD
     
    -The Leafon Pinkeh - what can I say to You... oh, I know... *HUGS* XD
     
    -LatinoChurro - we don't talk that much anymore, but You always was a great friend for me. And for that You have a hug
    *hugs* :3
     
    -Naomii - one of newer friends who I love talking with and who is just exploding with overly positive attitude XD
    *hugs* :33
     
    -Jennabun - great supportive friend and fellow Fluttershy fan. I just fail to see a single bad thing about You
    *hugs*
     
    -Artemis - You first helped me to get around forums a bit and You deserve a cup of coffee from me for being a good and helpful friend xD *gives him cup of coffee*
    Oh, and also *hugs* xD
     
    -Wolfie - You supported me greatly in most recent days, without You and few other people all this would probably go a lot worse and for that support I am eternally grateful :3
    *hugs him tight*
     
    -Sparklie/Swirlie - we had our harder days sometimes, but in the very end we are and hopefully always will be friends
    *hugs* :3
     
    -Wubsy - young silly filly, but also great friend. Don't worry, we will play Prop Hunt xD
    *hugs* x3
     
    -Miss Reaper - because she too is a sweetheart and her avatar itself makes me like her so muuuch :333
    *huuugs*
     
    -Otty - cuz she is just awesome :3
    *huugs* :33
     
    -And same about Cacklefruit
     
    -And Rising shine xD
     
    And everyone else on my friendlist and outside it. You all are awesome and You all have a big hug from me Sorry if I forgot about someone... I did my best not to, but there are just too many people to mention xD
     
    And hopefully this year on forums will be awesome too
     
     
     
    TOO LONG DIDN'T READ FOR WOLFIE
    It was great time and hopefully future too will be. Thanks and hugs for everyone XD
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