The Fabulous Darky

Yeah I get ya x3 As for my personal perceptions, they probably are a bit distorted in a sense that I always assume the worst in most situations. Usually in thinking so I feel I'm keeping myself "safe" in way xp Idk I've been meaning to see my psychologist again, been too much going on in my life lately gender problems aside. I may be just insecure, but even then I'm really unsure about how I feel and am inside so I have a lot to figure out really. Generalized anxiety/panic coupled with identity issues are a bad combination. I've been taking baby steps into expressing myself better. I've been letting some close friends know about my identity issues and they are very supportive. I just find it hard to wear skirts and whatnot outside of conventions as I feel it draws a bit of concern (not necessarily disdain) from my roommates and colleagues. Like in a way that they're kinda like "well oh that's different". I feel like if I explain things to my roommates they may understand a bit more clearly so at least I'd feel okay about it in my own apartment x3 And when you mentioned satchel I was thinking kind of a purse or small messenger bag, but totes are nice and it's still adorable x3

Not entirely sure how I feel about my gender. Needs a bit more soul searching until I figure out what I truly want. But I really love being feminine and just generally playing and looking the role of a woman so I guess I'm pretty unhappy being male. I don't particularly experience dysphoria, but there are some male activities that really make me feel that something isn't particularly right. Like recently I had to wear a suit and had to play off more gentlemanly roles at my sister's wedding earlier this month, and while I would do it all over again for her, it really didn't feel right to me and it really made me uncomfortable. Formal occasions really bring it out with me as I see all the girls getting the attention in their adorable dresses while the guys are all wearing the same old boring suits that make you look like a disproportionately ugly rectangle. Otherwise with most male activities, I feel not enthusiatic, but okay about. I feel like I experience gender euphoria a lot more, where when I'm presenting as female, I feel significantly more confident, strong and proud of myself than if I were presenting as male. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm trans, which I'm still trying to figure out. It's all so complicated x.x I just hope I'm not stuck being confused about myself.

Oh boy where do I start. Bronies: ​ My bad experiences are mostly through the RL meetup communities I've went to. I only went to those to meet up with maybe 5 people who I felt close with. Everyone else just annoyed the piss out of me. Most of the meetups they would bring alcohol, so I would drink myself into a stupor to pretend I'm somewhere else, which only ended in my one friend driving me back and taking care of me lol. I've had my good moments in brony meetups but there was a lot of drama over some people who were too socially awkward to function, and then it got to a point where some guy who has personally sexually harassed my friend and others started a fundme campaign for his divorce, getting people to side with him against his wife when he was the one looking for an affair. A whole bunch of people sided with him because you know it's only the "magic of friendship" to side with a divorce and that pushed me over the edge and I left the group, told the mods what REALLY was going on, and left them to handle the situation. And of course I've had experience with some of the horse famous people. I refuse to name names, but one of them is an animator who I was very fond of. I've tried conversing with him but he seemed to give very short answers so it seemed like he didn't wanna talk. Everyone else in my group tried conversing with him as well and he just didn't seem to talk and he just kept to himself petting his plushie. Then after the meetup someone hit his car (lol) and when he got back he made a big post about it saying how we apparently didn't give him any attention when he hasn't said anything to us. Then I never saw him again. Though he seems to deal with a lot of personal problems, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on those grounds, but he still came off as a prick. Then I met with a famous musician whom my one friend was personally working with. He was performing at a convention I've went to earlier this year and I thought he would actually play his signature instrument, but instead he had someone else perform, and he went on-stage for about 5 minutes, did a little song, then left the stage without even acknowledging my friend. He also screwed my friend over $500 over some equipment he needed but I don't know the full details on that. He just came off as a real sell-out and very different from his online persona and it was very sad to see. I'll go on about furries and homestucks later.

Minions merchandise. They're fucking everywhere x.x I've seen minion merch for literally everything everywhere. People just eat up the excessive commercialism and I feel like I'm the only one who just doesn't get it.

Actually Anime/Furry/Brony conventions are very safe places to get a start on dressing up c: Not particularly sure why, but geek communities seem very in tune and supportive of the Gay and Transgender communities. Heck one or two times I've been asked about my pronouns. And lately I've been seeing a lot more guys cosplaying girl characters seriously now which is really refreshing to see considering I've lived in a community and a family that really pushed men being masculine and machismo and nothing else lol. The cosplay community has also helped me greatly in learning makeup techniques and I've been getting a lot better. Still have a lot to learn though The only thing to worry about with conventions is the community outside of the convention. Sometimes they can be very accepting and welcoming to attendees, be complimenting/asking for photos and whatnot, but sometimes they just see con goers and cosplayers to be intruding to their everyday lives as "freaks" because they're dressed up which leads to people targeting them with yelling/harassment. If I get a hotel outside of the con venue I always ask to go back in a group because I do not know what the community outside the convention will be like. I've had very positive experiences where people would compliment me and ask for pictures and whatnot, and also very negative experiences such as yelling and threats. It's a risk not worth taking though haha. As for my community I live in currently. My college town is definately a lot better than my hometown however there's still cases of harassment and hazing that make me refrain from going all out. I just fear that wearing a skirt would draw too much attention, as it usually does when I do xp Maybe I will try when I can actually begin to pass well. Also I noticed you mentioned you have a lemonbrat satchel? I never knew they sold satchels. I bought a hoodie from them one time at Otakon. It was very adorable and fluffy. I wouldn't wear it out but it makes very comfortable pajamas c: I also bought one of their schoolgirl hoodies with the skirt. The material they use is so comfortable!

Yeah I've used baby powder when my skin gets really bad and it makes it pretty much go away. Though it hasn't bothered me for a few months since it got colder so I haven't had to use it in a while. I'll try boyshorts next time then c: Thanks!

I always hear guys say that, however I've tried women's panties for a week and because of my sensitive skin chafing I ended up dealing with a little bleeding in some sensitive areas x.x Anything you would recommend that would give a bit of support and won't chafe on the skin? Granted the ones I bought were very cheap from walmart so that is prooobably why. If I try again I feel like boyshorts might work better? But ever since my experiences last time I've felt hesitant. I live in Pennsylvania, in the Pennsyltucky area :v The only times I dress up publically are for anime conventions, costume/halloween parties, LGBT dances, and anime club events. Worst reactions I got was when I went to a convention in Lancaster. I was walking with a friend to the parking lot wearing my Fluttershy cosplay and I was getting yelled at and threatened by people. My friend was pretty sure that if it weren't for him walking with me I would've gotten beaten up. I can pass pretty well but I still need a little practice with makeup/voice/posture and I think that's what gives me away xp I used to carry pepper spray but I keep losing it and it would be my third one if I get one again x.x I usually just hold out my keys anymore when I'm walking through a bad area. And yeah I'm aware of that, and differences between gender identity/expression and all that. My feelings are still kind of weird though. I can't really explain it all in a short post x3

Omg this I get so jealous of how women can get away with that. I'd love to wear some of my skirts out but it is a huge risk as I've gotten yelled at, threatened, or thought of as a deviant or male hooker. Most times I go out things are okay when I stick with a group, but I still get scared. Tho sometimes I think I may be trans. But idk if that's because that's how I truly feel and see myself, or if I feel that's the only way to dress everyday. The whole thing is confusing x.x.

You can always shave, and there are makeups such as foundation, concealer and blush that helps to hide stubble c:

As a male: - Not being allowed to wear skirts/dresses - Being expected to do the heavy lifting, being expected to be strong, tough, and buff. - Shaving, only to have shit start growing back the next day -.- - Being expected to act manly and not express my emotions. - Male fashion in general. I mean personally I crossdress often, because wearing female pants/tops and whatnot and even wearing some makeup usually goes unnoticed. But wearing skirts/dresses usually brings on sooo much attention (and anger) that I'd just rather not for my own safety. I usually reserve my skirts and dresses for costuming events and shows and stuff.

I'd absolutely love to join this discussion and share my thoughts! - When and why did you become a feminist? I guess since forever? lol. I consider myself a feminist because I just don't believe in the gender roles and stereotypes that are so pervasive and ingrained to our society. I have an interest in a lot of feminine things, and, as a male, that really sets you against the world it seems. I also have a lot of transgendered friends who face a lot of issues everyday based on societal gender roles as well. - Why do you think feminism is still relevant to today's world? It's hella relevant, not just for women's rights like abortion, glass ceiling, etc, but I believe it also applies to trans rights. - What is difficult about being a feminist in general? I don't find it difficult at all. However, breaking gender roles and such is really difficult and really sets the world against you. - How do you think feminism gets treated in the MLP fandom? I believe it's pretty 50/50 split in being for/against. - How does MLP support your feminist values? The diamond dogs episode, nuff said. - How do people react when you say you're a feminist? I've never had someone react lol. - What is awesome about being a feminist? Believing, and being around others who also believe that gender roles suck and are invalid in today's society. - How has feminism affected you personally? Not much as I've always believed that there is no such thing as "guy things" or "girl things" and that gender overall is a fluid thing.

I'm pretty sure women's underwear is the only women's clothing I never wore yet x3 Maybe I'll give it a try someday tho I've had people claim that they can be really comfortable.

It is absolutely great to still see some life in this thread after coming back on here! If anyone wants to see some nice examples of crossplay feel free to check out my deviantart gallery http://darkwing556.deviantart.com/gallery/ Here are my two latest examples: Maid Rarity, probably gonna make a stocking cosplay out of this one. Rainbow Dash's Gala Outfit, I completely handsewn/handmade this one, this one is my pride really. It's still a work in progress though.