DuskSong

It's terrifying to know the general time and moment that i woke up one day, and all of the wiring in my brain broke. the second semester of tenth grade, somewhere around the tail-end of February, i woke up more tired, defeated than ever. I didn't know it then, but my adolescence and development left me a 'care' package as they began to reach their end. the feelings didnt go away, no, they got worse. i wanted to die. it was scary, how i could no longer sleep at night, i would have kicks in my chest every single time my head wandered off to sleep. The genes I inherited from both sides of my family presented themselves in a two-punch knockout to the person I was before mental illness. I'll never get that back, but I can do the most I can with the cards i've been dealt. though a large orange pill must correct the imbalances that my body has wrought, i am still a person behind the outward mask of dark winters and cloudy days that I have only begun to un-wind and deconstruct to find some peace and serenity in a life post-mental-illness through bi-weekly therapy vists. the worst part is having no one to blame, nowhere to point a finger to, because it was a stroke of fate, a random chance that life threw at me when I was least expecting it. All you can do when the curve-ball bruises you is move forward and heal. and that's what i'll do.