DuskSong

well, today has had its ups and downs. still mentally exhausted as hell, but atleast i know that theres one person who sees something good in me, she's the best <3

i like that fans of Halestorm are called Freaks because i don't know if there's another word that can describe me as well

"Hope is gonna fade
The truth is gonna lie
Sometimes there's no reason
To justify the meaning

But I won't run
I'm not ashamed
It's gonna take more than this for me to break"

~Halestorm

...

i really hit rock bottom today, but i'm gonna bounce back stronger than before. my demons wont keep this grasp on me. see you in the morning, everyone.

i'm always happier when the sun is shining, stepping outside today felt so nice.

ive genuinely felt dead today, ive been drained due to mental exhaustion, trying to push my anxiety away. but, i finally felt a spark of life in me just awhile ago and i think im starting to overcome my demons after a week of struggling.

"its just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going" -paramore

"If nobody sees me, do I even exist? And if nobody needs me, do I know what needing is? I'm losing ground, I'm losing ground."

"I'm only at it again

As an addict with a pen

Who's addicted to the wind

As it blows me back and forth

Mindless, spineless, and pretend

Of course I'll be here again

See you tomorrow

But it's the end of today"

~twenty one pilots

...

i would say goodnight, but with this mind, they aren't so great.

see you in the morning, everyone.

"I've watched myself struggle with this fear of falling down
'Cause I've seen a silhouette of me who is this stranger I've become

Who is this man that I've become?"

~Sleeping With Sirens

"I feel for you, but when did you believe you were alone?
You say that spiders crawled inside and made themselves a home
Where light once was

Petrified of who you are and who you have become
You will hide from everyone, denying you need someone
To exterminate your bones"

~twenty one pilots

this week has been rough and it's only Tuesday evening.. i am so tired of school

"I am not as fine as I seem, pardon
Me for yelling, I'm telling you green gardens
Are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me,
A difficult beast feasting on burnt-down trees"

~twenty one pilots

i wish my city had a nice music scene, but then again it'd just be people making really bad country and i want to make punk rock music

"Living like a ghost you walk by everyone you know
You say that you're fine but you have lost your sway and glow
So I stopped by to let you know"

~Twenty One Pilots, "Friend, Please"

not fun to remember, but this was me just a few months ago. recovery takes time, but things will get better, I promise.

i think im gonna buy myself a nice leather journal that i can write in, this notebook is almost full anyway, even though about half is unfinished and/or scrapped poems that i gave up on because i'm overly critical of what i create

i guess im a part of the skeleton clique now?

"We don't deal with outsiders very well
They say newcomers have a certain smell
Yeah, I trust issues, not to mention
They say they can smell your intentions
You're lovin' on the freakshow sitting next to you
You'll have some weird people sitting next to you
You'll think 'How did I get here, sitting next to you?' "

~TOP

so here we are

i never thought you'd take me so far

i was blind but you've made it clear and i can see

looking in the mirror with a smile, you've made me a better me

this is how things are supposed to be, us together just feels so right

hold me close as we pass under these city lights

for once in my life, you make everything feel alright <3

.............

i think i'll call this one "a love with wings"

can i just slip into the void from November to March? The lack of light is really screwing with my mental state lately

"Why am I not scared in the morning?
I don't hear those voices calling,
I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,
I swear I heard demons yelling,
Those crazy words they were spelling,
They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone."

~TOP

i love the nights for the silence. and i hate them for the silence.

when i fade back into the dark,

will you notice the absence?

i leave open this window in my heart, maybe you'll see 

that between each line, my mind isn't as clear as it may seem

cause i'm on a brink with a forward lean

the sky is bright but these eyes struggle to see that light

please don't leave me alone tonight.

...

barre chords really annoy me

lol @ the people who think SWS's albums "Let's Cheers to This" and "Feel" are somehow soft records. No. Gossip is soft. just cause they chose not to stick with the super post-hardcore vibes past their first album doesn't mean their next two albums were "soft".

i love writing but i've got mad writers block right now and it sucks, especially when i have so much on my mind and i cant think of how to create poetry about it that flows well

"Welcome to the room of people
Who have rooms of people that they loved one day
Docked away
Just because we check the guns at the door
Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades"