DuskSong
-
Posts
368 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Character Archive
Frequently Asked Questions
Equestrian Empire Character Archive
Golden Oaks Memorial Library
Pony Roleplay Characters
Events
Blogs
Everything posted by DuskSong
-
streaming is killing the growth and innovation of music.
if you want raw, real stuff- check out stuff in your local scene or listen to independent bands. the true passion and talent lies in those who refuse to be choked out by a record label who churns out billboard top 100 singles as quickly and efficiently as possible. it's cookie-cutter bullshit.
support live music, rep your favorite bands, buy their albums, and encourage innovation. what's popular doesn't equate to what's good, and what's good doesn't equate to what's underground either; but underground music 99% of the time will contain more depth and personality than the surface-level shit that mainstream artists tend to serve the masses to attract as much income as possible for as little risk-taking and innovation as possible.
when the little-guy thrives, we all thrive.
-
The girl I love probably doesn't love me back. Heart-crushing, but atleast we're going to prom as friends. Maybe it could grow into more by the time that comes around. But I don't want to get my hopes up.
-
My left eyeball. What is our atmosphere made of?
-
6 and one/third. What animal did cats evolve from?
-
in a sense, i've escaped the prison of depression and apathy of my head, only to be met with another; i've lost the creativity that came from those heavier emotions. i don't want to give up poetry, but it's genuinely difficult to write. emotional blunting sucks.
-
Now that I've mostly sorted through the mess of depression and anxiety in my head, I've returned to questioning my gender and sexual identity, and it's the worst thing because I don't know who or what I really am anymore. It's why I label myself as androgynous, because I feel lost when I think about it. And boys are cute, but I also find girls more attractive and so many high school guys are ugly inside and out. I don't know anymore. But, I can hold onto the hope that I will know someday. All puzzles are eventually solved.
-
I'm gonna throw hands at the next person who says that SSRIs are "shit". I have never felt more like myself than I do right now since I was just a toddler in elementary school. The happiness and starry-eyes of what the future could be is coming back, and I can thank my daily intake of Lexapro for that. I am more sociable and calm regarding uncomfortable new situations. If other anxiety and depression reducing methods work for you, wonderful- I'm happy for you. But don't use that as an argument against medication that has saved the lives of millions.
-
please bring back emo culture. the hair, clothing, music, i love it all
-
Guess I'm crazy for being open minded. Huh. Division over lack of willing to partake in discourse with different opinions and views can really damage people.
-
Polarization is dangerous. We should avoid closing ourselves off to opinions that don't align with our own, or we will never have the important discourse that allows us to compromise and move forward as a society. Being trapped within an echo chamber only breeds fear and hatred for those outside of it- and that's the real problem. Don't cast judgement on others until you've truly listened to their perspective and reasons for their opinions.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
-
Ever had a dream come true, only to realize as time goes on, that it was a nightmare with a mask?
I regret following my heart over my mind. Don't make that mistake.
-
fuck, i can't wait to move out some day... my mother makes me feel like shit so often..
-
so sluggish today.. i'm glad i have work off tomorrow. 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep sounds amazing right now.
-
if only it was socially acceptable for guys to wear feminine clothing. as an androgynous person, i love leggings, crop tops, etc. they make for such cute outfits!
-
I have been gone for quite some time. There has been much on my plate, and it has been extremely overwhelming physically and mentally. Believe me when I say that life has taken it's toll on me harder than I ever imagined it would. I'm tired. Tired of the vicious cycle that is depression and anxiety. An endless fight against my own head to just fucking function. Stress has become my life. Misery is the only frame of mind that I have lived within for some time now. Pressure formed mountainous walls that blocked off any chance for me to move forward. I had to give up a lot to make it through some of the worst months I have had as of late. Over the mountain, the horizon and sky have been slowly clearing again after violent storms that robbed me of the stable footing I worked so very hard to gain. Slowly, I am getting back up. But, my descent has been disastrously difficult and long. Quarter 1 of school was easy, and free-spirited. Going into eleventh grade was anxiety-ridden, however. Nearly every senior warned my friends and I of the difficulties. It just so happened that my first semester would be full of difficult classes mixed with teachers that made core classes much harder than they need to be, and long, arduous assignments that weighed heavily on my shoulders until my spine snapped under it. Despite this, the first quarter of my school year went by with ease. Grade-wise, it will probably be the best quarter of this year. Right as Quarter 2 began, the success and happiness I had achieved crashed down on me. A few days into the quarter, I lost the girl who was my entire world. She brought joy and new perspectives into my life, and ultimately made me a better person. After half a year with her, we were forced to split for reasons that I will not speak about. For a couple weeks, my mentality was a mess. Even though my mind was scattered between increasingly larger work loads, emotional stress, and my own home life, I had to push on. Although we split, we continued to be friends up until recently, which I will discuss later on. November was already a month that I absolutely despised due to significant emotional trauma I have associated with that time of the year. The Holiday season has never been kind to me. Our relationship's abrupt ending had impacts that rippled through the next two months of my life. It was in December that I made the tough decision to drop from the extra-cirriculars I had been a part of to focus on my schoolwork and mental health, that was at the time crumbling. At that point, I was using after-school practice to catch up on the overwhelming amount of work I was dealing with. During December, we had a two-day tournament. I had competed the first day, but overslept the 2nd. After that day, I slowly stopped showing up to practice. Those over-sleeping incidents would continue due to my body's chronic fatigue rooting in the constant anxiety that chains me down. Finally, Christmas Break arrived. Having a near two week vacation from school was a great way to reset my sleep schedule and clear my head. Apart from working a lot due to late-Christmas shoppers, I was able to rest up quite a bit. A few days before we had to return to school, I spent an evening with a friend from school at our local mall. Doing so was a mistake that led to me cutting ties with her. She spent the night talking badly about a really close friend of mine and insulted me to my face. I told my friend about that after the night was over. Getting back into school, I hinted about it during class, which sparked a long argument over text with her. Based on her social media, she is still quite bitter about being called out for being toxic. She would befriend people, talk bad about them, and then victimize herself when they called her out on it. Needless to say, I cut her out and started hanging out with my close friend a lot more. With school back in session, finals for Semester 1 were coming up. My stress levels once again spiked, and I am not proud to say that my depression caused me to think some dark, unsettling thoughts that I have not thought since beginning anti-depressant treatment. Due to this, my dad called the clinic and raised my anti-depressant dosage. Unfortunately, I started the new dosage during finals, which disrupted my focus as my stomach was in a state of discomfort for a couple days. Semester one ended. I was very afraid of my grades and avoided looking at them out of feeling as if I had completely failed. Eventually, I was forced to look at my transcript. It was not bad, but could have been better. Semester two is now here, and my work load has been significantly lightened. I am in easier classes, and I get out of school an hour early. With these improvements, and a sense of relief over last semester's grades, things are once again looking up. I am climbing back out of the deep and dark hole that I let myself fall into over the past few months. I am still pushing forward. Giving up will never be an option.
-
life is a tangled mess like the earbuds that i can't seem to untangle in order to block out the world that's collapsing in around me as if i'm the center of gravity and every meteor in the galaxy has sights set on me. the mirror maze that is my path forward is more suffocating than ever- because i have to be surrounded with the person i'm trying to run from but i can't escape it no matter where i look. i am the one tree of the forest that couldn't quite manage to survive the winter. i have become the bitter sting in the cold wind. the hail that shatters at our feet is so similar to me. in a hopeless freefall back down the ground from where it's previous form had risen from, that shatters as it comes back to earth. tiny, fragmented shards that won't ever become whole again.
that's me. in my freefall, i not only destroy myself, but i hurt others, even though i don't intend to.
this is precisely why i hate myself.
i spend way too much time pointing the finger...
...But I never realize the things I've done.
-
"It’s so overwhelming
And I hope no-one can tell
‘Cause the numbers keep decreasing
This ordeal is becoming routine, check
Arms back neck thighs
Suck it in and Pinch my sides
The scales are betraying me, the mirror is a lie, yeah
Numbers
It all comes down to numbers
I know it’s wrong but
Just because you know you’re colorblind doesn’t mean you can see the colors
Fine, I admit I’m addicted
But the hunger feels good, how do I quit this
I know I could die, I’ve seen the statistics
But the voice is with me through thick and thin"
~Jaiden
-
"I can’t predict what I’ll do. I can never be sure
I am terrified of making promises any more
I can’t face my work, I feel sick from the word
I genuinely believe I’m capable of changing the world
I still think I can get better
I still think I can create and get pleasure from it
I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree
And become the best version of me
I don’t want to stop"~Boyinaband -
A good way to discover your real friends is to see who sticks around when you fall from grace and need a hand to get back up. The ones who extend their arm are the ones who matter.
