Delernil

@@repsol rave Night fiddled with the paper. He looked up at Roarkes voice. 'Uh, I dunno. It seems to have an address. How we could find it in all this rubble I dunno.' He replied with a shrug as he looked over the slip one more time. 'Found it on a raider.' He added as he held it out to Roarke. 'Here ya go. You should hold onto it.'

Geoff shot up at the voice. 'Luna?' He said as he looked up. She was crying. 'Luna, are you ok?' He asked as he stood up. He brushed some dust off of him and went over to the princess. 'Are you hurt?' He asked, checking over her. She didn't seem to be hurt, which relived Geoff to some degree.

(I'm just having Geoff run around hopping Luna finds him. You end it though.) Geoff moved through the dusty mine. He felt genuinely scared. He was alone in an abandoned mine, filled with spirits, looking for his only friend. He walked through the corridors, feeling the walls as he walked. He hoped Celestia and Aaron were doing ok. His job was to find Luna and get out. He came to another fork. He sighed in frustration and slumped against the wall. It was set up. Him and Luna would die in this mine. Alone. 'Lluna!' He yelled in a final frustrated attempt.

Geoff regretted leaving Celestia. He was blind and lost. He came to a more open room at the end of the hall. 'Luna?!' He yelled as he felt his way around the room. It was circular and had two other doors. 'This place is a maze...' He mumbled. He straightened himself and ran through the first door he felt. Even if it wasn't right, running should make up enough lost time.

Geoff walked to the fork again. He slowly inched into the right path, feeling his way through. He couldn't see anything. 'Luna? Luna...?' He called as he worried where she could be. There wasn't much room to move. Where could she have gone? He sighed and pushed on, hoping he was on the right path as he went deeper into the mine.

Here's a quick excerpt from a story I've had boggling in my head for a while. My name is Jack. Jack Hamten. This is me, aboard the USS Indianapolis. It is a fairly large Portland Class cruiser fighting for the US Navy in the Pacific. I spend a lot of my time reading or playing cards with my friends when I'm off duty. I man the Number 2 gun. It can get boring as we don't have much to do, but it's alright. Today we are in the middle of the Pacific and the sun is setting. The captain just changed our course. Today is the day I enter hell. It's based on the sinking of the USS Indianapolis durning WW2. C&C welcome. Chapter 1: Sunset, 8:34 PM Eastern Time I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and slid down. We had been rotated out from the stuffy cabin of the Number 2 Battery. Tom caught up to me, drenched in sweat and smelling horrid. 'Cards?' He asked as he fit his cap on. 'Nah.' I answered as we slipped through the door to the inside. We made our way back to our bunks. He flopped onto his, but since we were off I had other plans. I slipped through the smelly bunks into the mess hall, a few doors down. It was largely empty except for a few other crew members, presumably from Battery Three. They chatted at a small table while I grabbed food. Most of it was leftovers. Number Two was always the latest to get rotated out, so we got used to leftovers. I chewed on the steak happily. Nothing like good food after sitting in a box for 12 hours. I returned my tray and checked the time. It was nearing 9:30. The sun had set earlier and many crew had gone to the top. I figured if Tom was awake we'd do the same. I traveled back to the bunks to find Tom reading my book. 'Hey, put that down. Ya wanna sleep up top?' I asked, taking the book from his hand. He nodded and got up. We traveled to the top, blankets and pillows in hand. We found a comfy spot near the Number Two. Settling in, the CO ordered all smoking to stop. Men chatted on the decks, but I fell asleep instantly. I returned to an awake state as a loud boom was heard. The front of the ship reared and water sprayed over it. Crew stood up and looked around. With a sinking feeling I realized we had been hit. We were torpedoed.

It was really well written. It felt disorganized though, and kind of cluttered. Also, commas were used in place of periods. That's the only problems I see. Other than that, is love to keep reading. It's all tiny details that stick out to me

The internet. To be honest, I don't miss many things in my life. People say their families, but I wouldn't even be mad if I died today. Maybe I'm just really cynical and mean. I dunno.

Night Comb link: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/night-comb-r5671 There ya go.

Night Comb is the distrusting, distant one. Could I submit him? (Link in a sec)

Ok then.

A few things; 1. Not everyone has the same time zones, or schedules, or amount of time like you do. 2. Why kill it? 3. I could always use my OC to fill the last gap.

'Does rocks float?' -Gavin Free 'Thanks Sad Larry's dick!' -some idiot 'I will punch you if it doesn't fit.' -my friend

[CENSORED] you [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED] you insecure [CENSORED] nobody eve likes your [CENSORED] Mc[CENSORED]. Thanks Makusu. God.

Night looted three bodies. He found some ammo for a .22 gun. He Chalcedon another and found a rifle. He smiled at his look. Wrapping the rope tied to it around him, he was amazed at his luck. He checked the next body. Nothing except for a small slip of paper containing an address. 'Huh...' He mumbled before turning back to the house. ------- Aura smiled and lay back, awaiting the return of the group.

@ Aura looked at the bag. She could breaks muster a 'thank you'. She placed it down next to her. She have a smile. 'I guess I can travel with you. You saved me, so I can trust you for that.' She said as she looked to her colt. 'He stays quiet most of the time. He shouldn't be a problem.' -------- Night Comb rummaged through the house again. He had found enough supplies to sustain the three for about a day or two. He poked his head where the mare and Roarke were. 'Hey, this place is pretty much empty. Once we loot the bodies we are gonna start packing up.' He said before going back to scavenge.

Traveller looked up. '...milk...?' He asked with a weak voice. He sighed and stood up. Moving into the kitchen once more, he took a jug of milk and poured it into a glass. He took it and sat back down. Drinking it, he was surprised it didn't make the taste worse. He sat the pty glass down. 'Huh. You aren't trying to kill me.' He chuckled, still tasting the horrible taste in his mouth.

Traveller's grin faded. 'Now that's just mean. But I lost, so...here goes nothing I guess.' He sighed. He eyed the sandwhich for a second and took a bite. His plan to get back at her backfired. He had put nothing on the sandwich besides the spicy items. He felt brilliant, but now he regretted it. The horrible taste in his mouth got worse every time he bit out of the sandwhich. He finished it quickly. 'This...' He tried to say. 'Water...'