Danfo98

I had to cry, so I looked at fluffy pony stuff.

As nightfall draws near, I ready my crossbow. "Sleeping darts for the guards so no one gets hurt" I think to myself as I crouch behind a conveniently placed boulder. I put on my night-vision goggles and aim my crossbow at the first guard. TWANG! He goes down, and his friend runs over to his unconscious body before taking cover behind a tree. "Damnit!" I say under my breath, as I reload the second sleeping dart. I peek my head out for half a second then RATATATAT! He fires a few rounds at me, and I go back under cover. "Good thing I just happen to have this head sized melon!" I say to myself. I stab a stick through the melon and put my helmet on it, before moving it just out from behind the rock. RATATATAT! The Vietnamese guard blows the melon to pieces, thinking it was my head. I then wait until I hear him walking close, then jump out and , in Fallout style, shoot the second dart precisely into his jugular. He was out before he could even react. I put on a lion suit, so the animals will avoid me. As I make my way through the dense forest, I come across a tribe of cannibalistic dwarves, roasting something on a spit. It smells like bacon. Hypnotized by the scent of bacon, I stumble into the clearing recklessly. The dwarves attack brings me back to my senses (other than smell). I pick up one of them and (this is gonna be 'politicly incorrect') roll him towards the rest of the crowd. "Strike!" I yell, as they topple. They can't get up now, so I carry on. After a few minutes I come across a male lion. My costume is that of a female lion. The male in front of me appears as if he wants to mate. "Oh hell no!" I shout as I pull out a steak and throw it over there by those trees. Then as the lion runs to the steak, I run to the edge of the forest. Fluttershy is there, and shocked that I'm home so late. "What took so long, sweetie?" She says softly, "it's almost huggle time!" This was made for you! I know its terrible but that was kinda the point.