This is a poem I wrote and wanted to share. Please, be cruel. I don't mean that in a "tell-me-it-sucks" sort of way. But if there is something you don't like, tell me. I want to be a serious writer someday. I need to know how to take criticism.
It is a little dark. Viewer desecration is advised.
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Cut open his head
To see all the dead
That he has been dreaming about
To find about her
So we can assure
We all have nothing to shout
Along with the dead
Inside of his head
Hus treasured memory found
A beautiful lass
On shatters of glass
Broken, face down, on the ground
With cannibal mind
He's sure to bind
Her ankles and wrists to the floor
And as she pleads
Continues to bleed
Wishing that she was no more
"You've got what you want
Please, no more taunt!"
She tries to get through to his head
"It's you that I love
Until you are above
But to me, you are already dead"