And? Mayby I don't know you in real, what you done etc. but I see a friendly guy here right now, who gone through a lot of shit. Sure, that must be heavy but it doesn't mean, you are not nice.
No problem. If I gone through the same, I would probably dead already. But you are not. Restart, try to live you're own life now, as a new man. That's all I can say, use the chance to be still here to make it better.