Nine

I know that feel. I used to do this years ago, just walking at night. Walking and smoking. Although I did it in a loop so I finally got home at 7am

I'm thinking about it but also not thinking very clearly right now. I did tell my boss, which I don't feel great about, but I had little choice. It's never good to look weak in the shark tank. On the other hand if I'm really thinking about quitting my job/life, what's the harm I suppose......

I hate my job. I was promoted four months ago and get good feedback but management isn't my thing at all. It doesn't suit my personality to begin with, but half the time I'm also a bipolar wreck inside and absolutely do not want to engage anybody or even get out of bed but I have to anyway. I drink and play pool most nights to distract myself. Sometimes I abuse tranquilizers. I've been eating too much and should lose about 20 lbs. If I were just bipolar maybe I could function like a normal person but I have other issues that limit my opportunities in life. Not that I would have the energy to pursue them anyway. At the end of an average day all I have is enough energy to shoot pool for a couple hours and then sleep. I sure do love to sleep. It's like dying but unfortunately not permanent. Also I sleep like shit. Today we got a visit from our district manager and I thought everything was fine so I left on time, but just got a call from my manager saying so and so wasn't impressed. I can't imagine why. Furthermore I hardly care why, even if I should. I'd quit, but what else would I do? I'm over 30 and have a life to pay for, if you want to call it that. Even when I'm in a good mood I know that I've done everything I want to do, most other things are out of reach, and really all I have left to do is idle out the rest of my days until I die. Which is hopefully soon, and I'd prefer painless but I'd take anything.

I wish it was just late spring/early fall all the time. Hot is bad. Cold is bad. Winter is terrible and anyone who likes it should be put in stocks and made a public example of. Unfortunately I live in Ontario so we get all the real seasons.

Being obligated to others and/or living with them is just intolerable. Though I would if I could. Meeting other people isn't the problem; I can apparently even be charming enough to draw interest, but after that I just feel like the life's being choked out of me. It is 100% mental health related unfortunately so little can be done.

I think freedom of speech is great because it encourages individual responsibility of thought and action. People may say what they like, and everyone else has the right, and I think the responsibility, to think about what they've heard and respond appropriately.

Generally, rap's target audience isn't one I'm a member of. Even when the message is relatable, the style isn't. There isn't much subtlety to it.

There've been plenty of interesting historical eras, but if I'm being honest with myself, I don't think I'd want to live through any of them. I'd be signing on for a harder, less comfortable life. I'm not sure I'm really up to that. I quite like working forty hours a week in relative comfort and having plumbing and decent medicine and a remote starter for my car. Also, having a car. So, that just leaves the future. And while things could go bad, I'm assuming they won't. Mostly I'd be interested in seeing how foreign industrialization panned out, and what effects it has on the established western world. Besides that, I wouldn't mind having upgrades to everything I own right now for a lower price. After inflation I mean. That'd be sweeeeeet.

The only one I feel really strongly about is Family Appreciation Day. I think it's waaaaay underrated. Magic Duel might be overrated, though some of that might be bias cause I don't think Trixie's all that great.

I briefly looked at it once. Seems the author was aiming to be as terrible as possible, and mission accomplished I guess.

Years ago my family bought a pet budgie, and later I learned the full word was "budgerigar". Such a great word, I don't know why. I guess just looking at it's wonky little face and saying "budgerigar" for some reason .. it was hilarious. I really don't know why. heh heh .. "budgerigar". Budgerrrrrrrigarrrrrr. Okay, it's probably just me.

I always dress well when I'm going anywhere to do something besides errands. It changes how people react to you, for the better.

I wish we didn't live in a time where any stated preference has to come with an apology for the implied disfavor of all alternatives untaken, but it seems we do.

Some of them sound like letters from people just angling to get him to read them aloud. Anyone who publishes hate mail will get a lot of faux hate mail from people who hope to get it in the next batch.