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Kel_Grym

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Blog Entries posted by Kel_Grym

  1. Kel_Grym
    I am limited by a smartphone, so those who have ever known me at all will be disappointed by my lack of usual formatting.
     
    You may also be disappointeded by my lack of Celestia. If you ever knew me. I wasn't a real big deal, although I liked acting as if I was.
     
    I've had a gun pointed to my face, was maced and thrown in jail over some because I stood up to a crooked cop that wanted to arrest a friend of mine for nothing...I spent 71 days in jail. I was lucky to have a decent lawyer and the fraudulent assault charge got dropped.
     
    And also while in jail I picked up David W Bercot's book 'The Kingdom that turned the World Upside Down'...and the Lord ripped the blinders off my eyes.
     
    I'm writing this as a testimony...in my tenure here as the ordained minister of Celestia, I had a habit of yelling blasphemy or heresy at people for fun. However, I really was the blasphemer. The deceiver.
     
    All my talk about determinism and chaos magick. I was so so very wrong.
     
    I've recanted my heathen occult philosophy and repented of all my sexual immorality. I look upon all my previous works in disgust.
     
    This is a testimony, my personal way of repenting for spewing all the lies of heliocentric masonic bad science and occult corruption.
  2. Kel_Grym
    The following are the last two weddings I will be doing for a while. I actually did these weddings months ago, but it took me a while to get around to posting them...for reasons. (like figuring out where I'm gonna move)


     

    To the ones I did the weddings for, I apologize for keeping you waiting.


     

    Enjoy the following transcripts.


     

    ---


     

    President Doge X Trixie


     
    [4:02:50 PM] Kel Grym: So.
     
     
    [4:02:53 PM] Kel Grym: Wedding?
     
     
    [4:03:01 PM] President Doge .: Sure
     
     
    [4:03:19 PM] Kel Grym: Excellent
     
     
    [4:03:59 PM] Kel Grym: *plays wedding music*
     
     
    [4:04:41 PM] hwut:
     
     
    [4:04:46 PM] Jump Cut: sits in a pew
     
     
    [4:05:01 PM] * Kel Grym steps up to podium
     
     
    [4:06:19 PM] Kel Grym: We are gathered her on this auspicious day, to celebrate the union of user and pony. Are the groom and bride present?
     
     
    [4:06:41 PM] President Doge .: Yes
     
     
    [4:07:18 PM] *hwut whispers to fleetfoot "I hope seth doesn't find out about this, then we'll never get him to go to bed"
     
     
    [4:07:23 PM] * :Flutterdash: and Fluttershy sit down in a 2nd row pew.
     
     
    [4:07:48 PM] Kel Grym: And what about the bride?
     
     
    [4:08:53 PM] Jorguil Ferris: *sitting in the back.*
     
     
    [4:09:02 PM] Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie is present
     
     
    [4:09:17 PM] Kel Grym: Wonderful.
     
     
    [4:10:48 PM] Kel Grym: Do you, President Doge, take this mare with an unparalleled sense of self worth to be you lawfully wedded wife, through sickness and health and ursa minor or major attacks, until death do you part?
     
     
    [4:11:36 PM] * Jump Cut puts arm around AJ
     
     
    [4:11:58 PM] * hwut Holds Fleetfoot as she again passes out
     
     
    [4:12:26 PM] President Doge .: Without a doubt
     
     
    [4:13:45 PM] Kel Grym: And do you Trixie Lulamoon, take this executive hound, to be your lawfully wedded husband through better or worse, until a terrible gut wrenching accident befalls you and sheds your mortal coil?
     
     
    [4:15:06 PM] * :Flutterdash: puts arm around Fluttershy, nuzzling her as they watch.
     
     
    [4:15:48 PM] Trixie: Yes
     
     
    [4:16:10 PM] Kel Grym: Alrighty then! Any obnoxious objections?
     
     
    [4:16:21 PM] Jorguil Ferris: Yes
     
     
    [4:16:41 PM] Jorguil Ferris: I want to know if she is related to star swirl.
     
     
    [4:16:53 PM] hwut: I hope seth doesn't show up
     
     
    [4:17:02 PM] Kel Grym: couldn't that wait until after the marriage?
     
     
    [4:17:15 PM] Jorguil Ferris: Yes
     
     
    [4:17:20 PM] Kel Grym: ._.
     
     
    [4:17:42 PM] Kel Grym: Since there are no rational objections...
     
     
    [4:17:53 PM] hwut: Seth
     
     
    [4:18:14 PM] Kel Grym: I pronounce you man and waifu in the name of Holy Celestia. You may kiss the bride.
     
     
    [4:21:39 PM] * President Doge . kisses Trixie
     
     
    [4:22:22 PM] Jump Cut: claps
     
     
    [4:22:26 PM] * Kel Grym is shocked the church is still standing.
     
     
    [4:22:27 PM] Jump Cut:
     
     
    [4:22:37 PM] :Flutterdash::
     
     
    [4:22:42 PM] hwut:
     
     
    [4:24:45 PM] * President Doge . begins to walk out of the church with Trixie
     
     
    [4:25:15 PM] Jorguil Ferris: shoot now I will never know.
     
     
    ----

    Danfo98 X Fluttershy (the 2nd)


     
     
    [4:16:10 PM] Kel Grym added danfo98.
     
     
    [4:18:00 PM] Kel Grym: Wedding time!
     
     
    [4:18:11 PM] Andrew the Mad: Yay!
     
     
    [4:18:20 PM] hwut: who is getting married?
     
     
    [4:18:24 PM] Daniel Ford: Me
     
     
    [4:18:32 PM] *LibraryLover walks into cobwebs
     
     
    [4:18:33 PM] hwut: to whom?
     
     
    [4:18:34 PM] Jorguil Ferris: I almost thought this place fell in on itself.
     
     
    [4:18:44 PM] Kel Grym: Ikr?
     
     
    [4:18:55 PM] Andrew the Mad: It did, I fixed it up, because I'm mad
     
     
    [4:19:01 PM] Fluttershy : um....... Me I guess
     
     
    [4:19:21 PM] Pinkie: OOOH WEDDING
     
     
    [4:19:56 PM] Kel Grym: Alrighty then. I think we have enough witnesses for the ceremony. Lets begin.
     
     
    [4:20:07 PM] LibraryLover:
     
     
    [4:20:12 PM] * Kel Grym plays wedding music.
     
     
    [4:20:24 PM] Daniel Ford: *clears throat *
     
     
    [4:20:24 PM] Andrew the Mad: *does mad things*
     
     
    [4:20:40 PM] * Kel Grym steps up to the podium.
     
     
    [4:20:42 PM] Kel Grym: Ahem...
     
     
    [4:20:52 PM]* Jorguil Ferris just sits and watches.
     
     
    [4:20:54 PM] * Kel Grym steps down from the podium
     
     
    [4:20:57 PM] Andrew the Mad: Sorry, that chipmunk running across the floor is mine
     
     
    [4:21:15 PM] Kel Grym: I'll brb. I need to smoke first. 4 minutes tops.
     
     
    [4:21:28 PM] Fluttershy : I love chipmunks!!
     
     
    [4:21:28 PM] *Andrew the Mad releases the ducks
     
     
    [4:21:39 PM] Andrew the Mad: It's a rabid chipmunk
     
     
    [4:21:42 PM] Andrew the Mad: Don't go near it
     
     
    [4:21:56 PM] *Fluttershy uses the stare
     
     
    [4:21:57 PM] hwut:
     
     
    [4:22:08 PM] Andrew the Mad: *chipmunk eats itself*
     
     
    [4:22:10 PM] Andrew the Mad: Huh
     
     
    [4:22:12 PM] Andrew the Mad: Odd
     
     
    [4:22:17 PM] ChikoritaBrony:
     
     
    [4:22:21 PM] Andrew the Mad: I didn't know he could do that
     
     
    [4:22:40 PM] Fluttershy : oh my!
     
     
    [4:22:54 PM] Andrew the Mad: Oh, and I think I left my mineturtle around here somewhere
     
     
    [4:22:58 PM] Andrew the Mad: Don't tread on it
     
     
    [4:23:20 PM] Andrew the Mad: If he says hello, run, because something will land on him and set the mine off
     
     
    [4:23:30 PM] Daniel Ford: *BOOM* I think I found it.
     
     
    [4:23:31 PM] Andrew the Mad: I really don't know why that always happens
     
     
    [4:23:52 PM] hwut: them damn mine turtles
     
     
    [4:23:55 PM] Andrew the Mad: Yeah
     
     
    [4:24:07 PM] Andrew the Mad: *releases a few dozen mineturtles, because mad*
     
     
    [4:24:10 PM] Andrew the Mad: ooops
     
     
    [4:24:15 PM] Kel Grym: back
     
     
    [4:24:20 PM] * Kel Grym steps back to podium
     
     
    [4:24:38 PM] Kel Grym: Nothing...wierd happened when I was gone?
     
     
    [4:24:43 PM] Andrew the Mad: Sorry, i think one of the ducks did it's business on the podium
     
     
    [4:24:55 PM] * Kel Grym looks down at feet.
     
     
    [4:25:00 PM] * Kel Grym grumbles.
     
     
    [4:25:14 PM] :Flutterdash:: The confession booth is totally clean...for now.
     
     
    [4:25:29 PM] * hwut sleeps
     
     
    [4:25:37 PM] *Andrew the Mad pulls three fully grown african elephants out of pocket
     
     
    [4:25:45 PM] Kel Grym: I dont even.....
     
     
    [4:25:52 PM] Andrew the Mad: I wondered where I had put them.
     
     
    [4:25:53 PM] *Daniel Ford goes to find restroom.
     
     
    [4:25:56 PM] Kel Grym: No you don't!
     
     
    [4:26:04 PM] Kel Grym: Were doing this...no more delays!
     
     
    [4:26:10 PM] Andrew the Mad: The rest rooms have King Cobras in them
     
     
    [4:26:21 PM] Andrew the Mad: Very angry ones
     
     
    [4:26:21 PM] Kel Grym: they probably do.
     
     
    [4:26:26 PM] Kel Grym: Ahem!
     
     
    [4:26:32 PM] *Andrew the Mad splits in two
     
     
    [4:26:39 PM] Andrew the Mad: Oooh, there's two of me
     
     
    [4:26:40 PM] Andrew the Mad: Oooh, there's two of me
     
     
    [4:27:03 PM] Kel Grym: We are gathered here today to celebrate the blessed union of man and pony, by the divine grace of Celestia most high.
     
     
    [4:27:19 PM] Andrew the Mad: *eats popcorn*
     
     
    [4:27:20 PM] Andrew the Mad: *eats popcorn*
     
     
    [4:27:26 PM] Kel Grym: ...
     
     
    [4:27:33 PM] * Kel Grym shakes head.
     
     
    [4:27:33 PM] Daniel Ford: OH NO! HOMEWORK!
     
     
    [4:27:36 PM] Andrew the Mad: Sorry, do continue
     
     
    [4:27:38 PM] Andrew the Mad: Sorry, do continue
     
     
    [4:27:51 PM] Kel Grym: What really? Can homework wait?
     
     
    [4:28:09 PM] Daniel Ford: Fairly easy though
     
     
    [4:28:11 PM] Andrew the Mad: Homework can always wait
     
     
    [4:28:18 PM] Andrew the Mad: Homework can always wait
     
     
    [4:28:45 PM] * Kel Grym is certain he needs to see a doctor about his double vision and hearing impairment.
     
     
    [4:28:55 PM] Kel Grym: Alright, lets just wrap this up.
     
     
    [4:28:59 PM] Andrew the Mad: No, there is two of me
     
     
    [4:28:59 PM] Andrew the Mad: No, there is two of me
     
     
    [4:29:05 PM] Andrew the Mad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVMLqeNwDlE
     
     
    [4:29:12 PM] * Kel Grym ignores insanity
     
     
    [4:29:47 PM] Andrew the Mad: *puts elephants back in pocket*
     
     
    [4:29:56 PM] Kel Grym: Do you, Daniel Ford, take Fluttershy *checks count* #2, as you lawfully bewedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death do ye part?
     
     
    [4:30:04 PM] Daniel Ford: I do
     
     
    [4:30:21 PM] * Andrew the Mad silently gets out stethoscope
     
     
    [4:31:15 PM] Kel Grym: And do you, Fluttershy, take Daniel Ford as your lawfully bewedded husband, in sickness and in health, through chimera attack, and raging dragon migrations, until a horrid, slow, and painful death do ye part?
     
     
    [4:31:48 PM] Daniel Ford: Fluttershy: umm, I do
     
     
    [4:32:05 PM] LibraryLover:
     
     
    [4:32:12 PM] hwut: YAY WEDDINGS
     
     
    [4:32:40 PM] Kel Grym: Excellent! Then by the powers granted to me by the ULC, under the holy authority of Celestia most high, I do pronounce ye man and wife. You may kiss the bride via the (/me) command.
     
     
    [4:33:21 PM] * Daniel Ford kisses Fluttershy
     
     
    [4:33:24 PM] Andrew the Mad: If anyone wants to have a heart attack or any other sudden medical condition, the doctor is in the house, so do it soonish
     
     
    [4:33:48 PM] * Kel Grym realized he forgot to ask if anyone objects again...
     
     
    [4:33:53 PM] * Kel Grym shrugs shoulders
     
     
    [4:34:07 PM] *Fluttershy blushes
     
     
    [4:34:08 PM] Andrew the Mad: Elephant number four does, but he's an idiot, ignore him
     
     
    [4:34:38 PM] Kel Grym: I find myself ignoring a lot of things that go against my notions of standard reality these days.
     

    -------------


     

    And that's it folks!


     

    I am done with pony weddings for an indefinite amount of time. If I did not do a wedding for you, I am terribly sorry, but i just need to do other things with my time.


     

    No hard feelings and all that...


     

    But by all means don't let me have the monopoly on pony weddings.


     

    Thank you for reading and to all that participated, a very special thank you to you guys!


     

    ~Ta! ta!~


  3. Kel_Grym
    "I've been busy"
     
    Is a really effective and short way of explaining why I haven't been on the forums much for...I dunno, over half a year? A Year? Eon?
     
    I still work flipping burgers, but because I moved from my aunt's house into this new home, I've been swept up in the troubles of my roomates. When you're the one guy with reliable transportation you got a lot of driving around to do.
     
    I'm not blaming my roomates, one of them really does deserve the help, the other two are...eh.
     
    Apart from that, I only frequent the forums to talk to some of my friends, and honestly I don't do that very much either. Mostly I skype...and then I find myself not being able to talk much on skype.
     
    Perhaps its a combination of general anxiety, business, and interests in other things that's been doing it for me. Keeping me at bay from online activities.
     
    I never even got around to posting my horrible experience at last year's Nightmare Nights.
     
    As far as my Cult goes, I think the church is in shambles.
     
    However there are a few things that are spurring me to become active again.
     
    1. We got suddenlink internet service at my new address. Finally.
     
    2. THE SEASON 5 PREMIERE!
     
    3. SCS being the coolest kat ever in the history of kool kats.
     
    One big reason I haven't been interested in even trying to make time for the forums is due to the sheer number of friends I have that are completely disgruntled with the way staff handles the site.
     
    However, due to SCS's recent post, I feel a little candle of hope flickering on the inside, and I think I'm gonna give the forums another shot.
     
    The only thing that really makes the forums worthwhile for me are my friends on the forums. While I've never really had any serious issues with the staff (due to my supernova like charisma and silver tongue) It's really hard to have fun here when your friends are constantly locked in "Fuck the staff" mode.
     
    I see change on the horizon though.
     
    So a big thank you to SCS. You're marvelous.
     
    Celestia will have mercy on you when her manifestation on the earth plane begins.
     
    Hail Celestia.
     
    I don't make any promises how active I'm gonna be, but for the most part...
     
    I'm back.
  4. Kel_Grym
    This was the best experience in my life. First con, I ever been too and it was fantastic.
     
    So much happened, I'll never be able to fully detail all that went on (especially with my goldfish memory) but at the very least I can write about the highlights and post some cool pictures as well.
     
    Best moments hands down where all the panels where I went to see Peter New.
     
     



     

    No, I didn't take this photo or any photo of Peter New.


     

    ...but I did get his autograph.


     






     

    Naturally, on the Celestia necklace I bought at the con.


     
    At the Panel, I asked Peter New a few questions on how he went from theater to voice acting and how one would break into Voice Acting if they were interested in that kind of thing. You'll probably see me asking him that whenever Ponyville Live! publishes their coverage of the con.
     
    In short, his answer to my question was that you should expect a lot of rejection and disappointment, but if you want to make it work you had to have a "Never Quit" attitude and that getting into acting itself was the best way to go about breaking into Voice acting.
     
    A lot of people seem to think that Voice Acting is just about making funny voices, but its a little more that that, and Rina-Chan pretty much is on the same page with Peter New's advice as she explained in her panel about a criticism she received on the believability of one of her Twilight Sparkle performances.
     



     

    The lovely Rina-Chan, cosplaying as Rainbow Dash.


     



     

    I got her autograph on the back of my sketch book.


     
    Peter's advice sorta rang true with what I already leaned in my life experiences but it helped reinforce that truth and got me thinking a lot about what I really want to do in life and the level of commitment that I need to make it work.
     
    We ran into each other the next day at the Holiday Inn bar, and he asked me how his advice was working with me, and I told him as much, recounting a little bit about my life and how I've been getting back up off my feet after wrecking my life with bad friends and drugs. He congratulated me on getting out of that and I brohoofed the drink he had in his hand as he left me with the parting words, "Welcome back to real life."
     
    That's something I'll always remember.
     
    As for the panels, some where a little dull, some interesting, and others lmao wonderful hilarious. My favorite panels by far where the 18+ ones like "Edit this Out," and "Guest Unedited." Peter New and Rina-Chan were at the latter, and there couldn't be any recordings for that one due to the nature of the panel, but damn...it was spectacular.
     
    So was the Dance party, Chaos is Magic panel, and some of the panel hijackings where the panelist didn't show up and improvisation came in to save the day. I remember a particular panel that turned into a "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life" reading XD. Even more hilarious is that panel, which wasn't meant to be 18+ but became one because the panelist didn't show, was accidentally recorded by a Ponyville Live! camera...thankfully it wasn't a live stream
     
    Nightmare Moon's Nightmarish Slumber Party was a do what you want panel that was awesome as hell. Met a lot of new friends at that one.
     
    I took quite a few pics of the merchandise that was there at the con as well.
     



     
    I bought a few things as well...the most notable thing I purchased, however was this glass bottle that has all the Princesses cutie marks etched into it. I had to track down the woman who made it and tell her what a wonderful job she did with making it.
     

     

    And lets not forget all the awesome cosplay!


     




    Some cosplayers are camera shy.


     




    You should have seen him transform into a jet.


     




    This girl had it easy going to the panels happening at the same time.


     




    I had to admit I was a little intimidated when he pointed that finger at me.


     




    Hail Celestia!


     




    Ladies and gentlemen, the real Granny Smith


     




    They were just stepping out of the Tardis when I took this pic...yes the Tardis was invisible.


     




    Oh Lyra...you and your hands.


     




    Stunning dress


     




    Same here...though I forget if she meant to be Nightmare Moon or Nightmare Rarity.


     




    I loved the corset.


     




    The staff was too cool.


     

    So yes it was fantastic...but the cherry on the top was what I saw as I was leaving the con, and heading back to home.


     



     

    Yeah...a rainbow. Over a red barn, no less. Sweet Apple Acres, anyone?


     



     

    After going through the experience that I did, meeting people like Peter New, Rina-chan, Drawponies, GhostWriter, and many many others...


     

    It felt significant.


     

    Like the moment you get your cutie mark, but don't quite realize it just yet.


     

    I loved this con and I want to go to more. Maybe even get involved with them one day.


     

    And I'll get there.


     

    Cause I'll never quit.


  5. Kel_Grym
    I never really thought about it, but I suppose I got so caught up in my zeal of preaching the word of Celestia, I forgot to mention my personal experience with her.
     
    Source: Minister KelGrym's Religious Services
  6. Kel_Grym
    1st User Wedding



    (rehearsal)



    The Questioner X Hyperhooves


     

    Skype Wedding Transcript



    7/22/2014


     
    [2:12:57 PM] Kel Grym: Lets Begin then.
     
    [2:13:00 PM] Kel Grym: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLjE-2_Luaw
     
    [2:13:01 PM] Andrew Grabauskas: Ok
     
    [ 2:13:35 PM] Jorguil Ferris: So who is going on this day?
     
    [2:13:40 PM] Kel Grym: Shh!
     
    [2:13:48 PM] Kel Grym glares at jorgy
     
    [2:13:54 PM] Kel Grym clears throat.
     
    [2:14:14 PM] Kel Grym: We are gathered here today, on this happy and joyous occasion, to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
     
    [2:14:38 PM] ChikoritaBrony: hey look pinkie they're both humans this time
     
    [2:14:40 PM] Pinkie: cool
     
    [2:14:45 PM] Kel Grym: Marriage is a solemn institution to be held in honor by all, it is the cornerstone of the family and of the community. It requires of those who undertake it a complete and unreserved giving of one's self. It is not to be entered into lightly, as marriage is a sincere and mutual commitment to love one another. This commitment symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives and still enhances the individuality of each of you.
     
    [2:15:13 PM] Andrew Grabauskas: *is still nervous*
     
    [2:15:26 PM] Kel Grym: Groom, do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, remaining faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
     
    [2:15:54 PM] Andrew Grabauskas: I do. To the grave- and beyond
     
    [2:16:07 PM] Kel Grym nods
     
    [2:16:17 PM] Kel Grym: Bride, do you take this man to be your wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, remaining faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
     
    [2:16:28 PM] ChikoritaBrony: oh so wonderful *wips away a tear*
     
    [2:17:16 PM] Emily M: *blushes while looking at the Questioner* I do. Now and forever, forever and always, forever and beyond. Nothing can keep us apart.
     
    [2:17:27 PM] Kel Grym nods
     
    [2:17:28 PM] Andrew Grabauskas: :$
     
    [2:17:39 PM] Kel Grym: And does anyone....question....this marriage?
     
    [2:17:43 PM] ChikoritaBrony: enope
     
     
    [2:17:46 PM] Pinkie: enope
     
    [2:17:50 PM] Jorguil Ferris: no
     
    [2:18:35 PM] Kel Grym: Then by the powers invested in me by the ULC and in the name of Celestia, I do pronounce thee, man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
     
    [2:18:56 PM] Andrew Grabauskas: *kisses the bride*
     
    [2:19:13 PM] Emily M: *bride kisses back*
     
    [2:19:34 PM] ChikoritaBrony: ah i love a good wedding pinkie
     
    [2:19:35 PM] Pinkie: so exciting
     
    [2:20:20 PM] Kel Grym: [Legal Disclaimer: This only counts as a rehearsal, I have no jurisdiction to legally marry people over the internet despite my status as ordained minister, so please don't sue me.]
     
    [2:20:33 PM] Andrew Grabauskas: *sues you anyway*
     

    Congratulations to the both of you! May you one day find a Minister within your local area to actually marry you guys one day!


  7. Kel_Grym
    Pony Waifu Wedding # 15


     

    Asterian Starfall X Rarity (not ghostie's)


     

    Skype Wedding Transcript


     
    [12:50:46 PM] Kel Grym: Hola
     
    [12:51:15 PM] Kel Grym: So then. Shall we proceed?
     
    [12:51:31 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: More than ever. "Let us."
     
    [12:51:40 PM] Kel Grym: Alrighty then
     
    [12:51:48 PM] Kel Grym: *wedding music plays*
     
    [12:52:12 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: *Looks to the catherdral doors*
     
    [12:52:30 PM] ChikoritaBrony: all right wedding
     
    [12:53:33 PM] Kel Grym: Ladies and gentlecolts, we are gathered here on this auspicious, and debatably suspicious day, to celebrate the union of gender non specified humanoid, and psychic entity.
     
    [12:53:51 PM] Emily M: Wow
     
    [12:54:02 PM] Obsidian Sky: i have tears in my eyes... ;_;
     
    [12:54:33 PM] Kel Grym: I see that the groom is present. How about the bride?
     
    [12:55:07 PM] Rarity: *Clears throat* "Right here, minister."
     
    [12:55:28 PM] Kel Grym looks at Rarity and has an overwhelming feeling of deja vu.
     
    [12:55:39 PM] Pinkie: Rarity is getting married again! Wow!
     
    [12:55:43 PM] Obsidian Sky: She is so beautiful when she is she. ;_;
     
    [12:56:16 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall looks at Pinkie and thinks: "She never was married to begin with... at least not this one."
     
    [12:56:36 PM] ChikoritaBrony covers Pinkie's mouth
     
    [12:57:24 PM] Kel Grym: Yes, well, I have been informed that this Rarity is indeed a completely different Rarity from Ghostie's Rarity....at least according to this sketchy birth certificate i recieved in the mail.
     
    [12:57:31 PM] Kel Grym waves birth certificate
     
    [12:57:43 PM] Pinkie: Oh not not the mirror pond again!
     
    [12:57:54 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall glares at Pinkie.
     
    [12:57:59 PM] Obsidian Sky: Is polygamy legal in Equestria?
     
    [12:58:05 PM] Emily M: *sits quietly and watches*
     
    [12:58:06 PM] ChikoritaBrony covers Pinkie's mouth again.
     
    [12:58:09 PM] Kel Grym: probably.
     
    [12:58:19 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: She is a separate entity.
     
    [12:58:30 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: Two ponies, both sharing appearance and mindset.
     
    [12:58:38 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: LEGALLY and TECHNICALLY different.
     
    [12:58:45 PM] ChikoritaBrony waits for Pinkie to calm down then takes his hand off.
     
    [12:58:49 PM] Kel Grym: Yes.
     
    [12:59:46 PM] Kel Grym: In anycase, Do you Asterian Elire Starfall, take Rarity to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickeness and in health, with or without insurance, and bad hair days as well?
     
    [1:01:09 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall nods, looking Rarity in the eyes. "In darkest times and brightest days, she's the one who guides my ways. I do."
     
    [1:01:29 PM] Rarity: *Blushes and awws*
     
    [1:02:14 PM] Obsidian Sky: She looks so beautiful when she blushes... ;_;
     
    [1:02:38 PM] ChikoritaBrony: obsidian are you trying to go for rarity too?
     
    [1:03:02 PM] Kel Grym: Terrific. And Rarity...if that is your real name...do you take this person to be you lawfully wedded mate, through good and bad, through dirt and grime, until the bitter and depressing end that all mortals face?
     
    [1:03:17 PM] Obsidian Sky: Im just admiring the bride. Shes so pwetty...
     
    [1:03:35 PM] Rarity: *Sighs passionately* "I do. With all my heart, I do!"
     
    [1:03:48 PM] Kel Grym: Alright...anyone against this union?
     
    [1:04:05 PM] ChikoritaBrony: nope
     
     
    [1:04:07 PM] Pinkie: nah
     
    [1:04:21 PM] Obsidian Sky: I gagged Spike before the medding!
     
    [1:04:40 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall stifles a laugh.
     
    [1:05:22 PM] Kel Grym: Hmm...seems all is well then. Asterian, Rarity, i do prounounce ye hitched in the name of Celestia's Radiant Spirit. Y'all can smooch now.
     
    [1:05:42 PM] Obsidian Sky: She is so beautiful shen she passionately sighs... ;_;
     
    [1:05:45 PM] ChikoritaBrony just watches happily
     
    [1:06:01 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall and Rarity come together in a loving, affectionate kiss.
     
    [1:06:11 PM] Obsidian Sky: ;_;
     
    [1:06:22 PM] Kel Grym is beside himself with how smoothly this wedding went.
     
    [1:07:12 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall and Rarity break apart and look to Kel Grym.
     
    [1:07:43 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: Thank you, minister. You've...
     
    [1:08:08 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall: *Looks to Rarity* You both have made me the happiest I've been.
     
    [1:09:01 PM] Rarity: "Darling minister, if there's ever anything we can do to repay you for your services..."
     
    [1:09:15 PM] Kel Grym holds out hand
     
    [1:09:21 PM] Kel Grym: That'll be $200.
     
    [1:09:49 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall and Rarity laugh, unable to contain ourselves.
     
    [1:09:57 PM] Kel Grym blinks...
     
    [1:10:00 PM] Kel Grym: No I'm serious.
     
    [1:10:16 PM] Asterian Élire Starfall gives Kel Grym the money.
     
     



     

    And that's the way it's done, son!


  8. Kel_Grym
    I'm working on esoteric representations of the Elements of Harmony.
     
    Sigils!
     

     
    [edit: Decided to put some more sigl stuff on this blog]
     
    Not mlp related but a cool sigil I made a long time ago
     

     
    Comes with cipher, as well.
     

     
    This one isn't a sigil, but an experiment using sigilization process to make a hieroglyphic cipher for English.
     
    It's says, "The Cat climbed the Tree"
     
    Different parts of the blocks indicate noun plurality and verb tense. Similar concept in the blocks to the left of the sigil in the picture above this one.
  9. Kel_Grym
    Official Roster of The Cult of Celestia™


     

    Minister



    KelGrym


     

    Members


     

    EquiOmnisVincunt

     

    Dattebayo

     

    Lunar Serbon

     

    Equinox Sin
    KittyTwilight
     
     

    [roster shall be frequently updated as new cult members join]


     

    If your interested in joining, please go to
    Minister KelGrym's Religious Services thread, and read the directions,

  10. Kel_Grym
    Celestial Disclaimer


     

    -------


     
    The Cult of Celestia™ is a non-profit organization dedicated to the worship of Celestia, and dedicated to the manifestation of Her Holiness on the plane of men.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ encourages use of Chaos Magick as means to communicate with the egregore of Celestia, and to bring about her manifestation of Godhood.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ is not affiliated, nor does it associate with the Illuminates of Thanteros, or any of its branches within the U.S or the U.K and is not affiliated with any other registered or unregistered occult organization.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ does not prohibit any other magickal practices or schools of thought utilized towards the cult's primary goal, so long as said practices do not violate Federal and Local law.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ does not condone use of Chomognosis (use of psychoactive substances to achieve Gnosis). Active members found using illegal substances for magickal practice shall be excommunicated.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ highly scrutinizes "sex magick" as it is an affront to Celestia's purity of spirit, and leads to all sorts of unwanted debauchery and is considered a potential gateway to Ritual Abuse. Use at your discretion with a legal consenting partner. Mind control and coercion is not consent, and is grounds for excommunication and shall be reported to authorities.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ outright condemns all forms of Ritual Abuse, and encourages participating cult members and non members alike to spread awareness of ritual abuse. If you suspect a local occult group of ritual abuse, think someone is a victim of ritual abuse, or are a victim of ritual abuse, The Cult of Celestia™ urges contacting your local authorities. Resource links below.
     
    The Cult of Celestia™ encourages safe use of Chaos Magick and Magick in general, but cannot be held liable for any damages that occur from tampering with forces beyond mortal comprehension, including but not limited to:
    Possession
    Hauntings
    Curses
    Hexes
    Bunions
    Paranoia
    Epilepsy
    Involuntary Rhyming
    Gremlins
    Vampires
    Werewolves/tigers/etc.
    Insanity
    Unexpected mutations
    Explosive diarrhea
    Discord
    Damages caused by the walking dead,
    Becoming the walking dead,
    Eldritch entities being released on the mortal plane
    Being turned into a banana
    All other involuntary transformations
    Irreversible transformations
    Involuntary mental partitioning
    Irreversible states of hypnosis
    Your pet suddenly being able to talk,
    Your pet telling you what it actually thinks of you
    Your pet won't shut up
    Confusing the egregore of Celestia with Trollestia
    Being trolled by the egregore of Trollestia
    Being trolled by the egregore of Celestia
    Being trolled by actual trolls
    Being trolled for adhering to a psudo-cult
    Burning your house down via unexpected success at casting a fireball
    Blowing yourself up in a botched attempt at casting a fireball
    Depression caused from failure at casting a fireball.
    Disillusionment from realizing magick isn't real
    Heart attack from realizing magick is real
    Diabeetus from realizing magick is friendship
    Physical and metaphysical breakdown of reality from breaking 4th wall
    Pinkie Pie
    Your tulpa gaining independent physical form and running away
    Mental invasion from unwanted tulpas
    Existential crisis caused from delusion you are a tulpa
    Being targeted by the government and/or occult organizations that want to silence/kill/experiment/enlist you for causing an actual magickal event that can be recorded and proven
    Losing your way in the astral plane
    Being assaulted physically, psychically or verbally on the astral plane
    Hitting a plane during levitation
    Irreversible levitation of yourself or other
    Seeing that which cannot be unseen
    Accidentally transporting yourself to the future or past
    Becoming stuck in a time loop
    Thaumic radiation poisoning
    Marriage into the Addams Family

    All potential candidates for membership into the cult must read and consent to the disclaimer as well as sign waiver form, releasing The Cult of Celestia™ from all liability for damages caused from tampering with magickal forces beyond mortal comprehension.
     
    Resource Links on Ritual Abuse:
     
    S.M.A.R.T.'s Ritual Abuse Pages
    Stopritualabuse.webs.com
    Endritualabuse.org
    Nathaniel J Harris/Talking about the Behemoth in the Room
  11. Kel_Grym
    Now, as any good Chaos Magician will tell you, you can't go around summoning egregores or spirits from the depths of the dimension of pi, without being armed with a solid banishing ritual.
     
    So I have decided to outline a specially designed banishing ritual to prepare one for spell craft when invoking or evoking the spirit of Celestia. This can be useful for visualization practice, establishing concentration and control, and banishing unwanted influences and psychic phenomena.
     
    Required materials:
    An empty space where you can work in privacy...you're not going to want witnesses.
    optional: A wand, preferably crafted by hand. Or found object that's significant to you. A banana is fine too.

    The ritual:
    Stand facing forward (north) and begin chanting the Celestial Mantra in your mind. (three times should do)
    Take your wand (banana) and begin drawing a pentagram in front of you, starting with the first point.

    Now keep in mind this pentagram is special. Its five points represent the first five elements of harmony, which go in the order of Honesty, Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter. [Reason for order]
    Start by pointing to where you visualize the head of the pentagram begins and chant, "Latis," while visualizing the symbol of the Element of Honesty.
    Trace down to the bottom right leg of the pentagram and chant, "Telas," while visualizing the symbol of the Element of Kindness
    Trace over to the left arm of the pentagram and chant, "Sela," while visualizing the symbol of the Element of Generosity.
    Trace over to the right arm of the pentagram and chant, "Talis," while visualizing the symbol of the Element of Loyalty.
    Trace over to the bottom left leg of the pentagram and chant, "Litas," while visualizing the symbol of the Element of Laughter.
    Here's the tricky part. Swoop your finger/wand/banana from the bottom left leg past the first point and directly into the middle of your forehead, where your third eyes is, and shout, "TIA!!!", while visualizing the Element of Magic. The Element of Magic is hidden, so naturally it wouldn't be in the pentagram. You should visualize the powers of the other Elements flowing into the Element of Magic. (Try not to hit your real eye when you do this)
    After the chant and visualization is complete, thrust your wand/hand/banana to the center of the Pentagram and visualize the power of the Elements being released in a rainbow explosion. No chant is necessary, but you can make cool sound effects if you want.
    Face East and repeat the process. Do this for South and West as well.
    If you have been using a banana, you may peel and eat it now.


    If you have completed all these steps, then congratulations.


     

    You're a unicorn.


     



     

    Go forth and banish your enemies to the Moon.


  12. Kel_Grym
    Let's make a God!


     

    [
    Link to main thread]

     



     

    In a world full of corruption, greed, and a lot of very bad things, it has come to my attention that mankind is in a bit of a pickle. After exhausting all possible avenues of how to solve this solution, I have come to one conclusion.


     

    We need a God.


     

    I vote for Celestia.


     

    However gods don't just grow on trees, and you ceartainly can't go to your local supermaket to buy one. The solution?


     




    CHAOS MAGICK!



    (ironic, isn't it?)


     
    Now for those of you who don't know, Chaos Magick is just this simply wonderfull little meta system of magic outlined by Peter J. Carrol. The motto of the Chaote is simply that belief is a tool. It is a practical approach to magic that emphasizes experimentation and use of imagination.
     
    Tulpa have been covered in these forums before. In chaos magick, Tulpa can be created and theoretically given a life of thier own outside the caster's mind. These 'thought forms' in chaos magick have three classes.
    Servitor - A simple thought form that doesn't think for itself and carries out tasks for the magician it is bonded to.
    Egregore - Something like a servitor devoloped from a group conciousness that influences said group.
    Godform - An egregore that has grown so powerfull that it no longer needs its group as it has become a fully independant entity, that may demand tribute an praise, like an actual god.


    (These are my best shortform definitions. For more info go
    Here)

     
    My suggestion is simple. Let's go the whole damn nine yards, dabble into forces beyond our comprehension and create a monster the only one who can save all of mankind. Celestia.
     
    I mean she's got the goods, right? Ruled Equestria for 1000 years with nary an incedent. She's incorruptable, magestic, glorious, benevolent, wise, and pretty much the opposite of ever politician and world ruler that we know of. She's perfect, really
     
    Now in order for this to work, all participants are going to have to catch up on a little reading.
     

    Liber Null


    Liber Kaos

     
    Then after that, were going to have to do a little orginizing! I'm pitching the idea that one of you start making a digital temple to Celestia, immidiately, and after that do some networking and meet together to discuss and perfom various rituals to bring our egregor Celestia to life. After achieving this, we can continue to power her up through Gnosis
     
    Unfortunately, I shall not be able to meet up with any of you as I am in hell. (Jacksonville, TX)
     
    The keys to success in this endeavor are knowledge, skill, numbers, and orginization! I may make a blog one day, detailing how this should be done, if one of you don't come up with a better plan. Right now I'm just sorta throwing this idea out all willy nilly and seeing if it takes root.
     

    Nothing can possibly go wrong with this!


     

    Hail Celestia!


     
     



     
     

    This operation shall be henceforth known as the Celestial Godhead Inititive. We will be the spearhead of the Cult of Celestia and the New Harmonic Celestial Age of The Alicorn


     
     

    (screw the age of aquarius)


     

    Our mission statement will go as follows:


    We hereby recognize Celestia as the rightfull ruler of Earth and the most Ideal fictional character to be made manifest into a godform/hyper-tulpa/all powerfull disembodied entity.
    We shall create a stable religion in which Celestia shall be given her due worship. For now we shall be known as the cult of Celestia or Celestians for short.
    In the end we shall see an entire pantheon established, including Luna and Twlight as sister Goddesses, and the rest of the Mane 6 as our Matron Saints. Celestia's manifestation must come first, however. (When the Trinity is formed we shall be simply known as the Cult of the Alicorn.)
    Our cult will go out and convert the heathens spread the holy word of Celestia, inviting any willing participants to join us.
    We shall construct an online temple in dedication to our Goddess and when the time comes, construct an actual temple, preferably in Iceland or New Zealand, when we have acquired enough funds.
    Our end goal is to bring all of mankind under her Magesty's guiding wing and achieve world Harmony. Hail Celestia.


    The Oath of the Celestian:


     

    Unto thee our beloved Celestia,



    Great Goddess of the Sun,



    Whom inspire me with noble idea



    Before thee, I have none.



    To the end of days I will serve thee,



    To bring your Great Age of Harmony.


     

    Guidelines for Membership:


    Place your right hand over your heart and with your left hand, ball it into a fist, extend your index finger and hold index finger over your head as if it were a unicorn horn.
    Repeat the Celestian Oath.
    Uphold the Celestian Commandments.
    Help your Celestian brothers and sisters and the brony community in general.
    Love and Tolerate the infedels non-believers.


    The Celestial Commandments


    Thou shalt have no other Goddess before the Trinity. (Celestia, Luna, Twilight)
    Thou may have Luna and Twlight to worship, but thou shalt worship mostly Celestia.
    Cadence shall not be worshipped at all. Screw Cadence.
    Thou shalt be Honest
    Thou shalt be Loyal to thy brethren and friends. (but not above thy loyalty to Celestia)
    Thou shalt be Kind
    Thou shalt be Generous
    Thou shalt be Optimistic in Life, for Celestia is coming quickly and shall end all woe.
    Thou shalt freely enjoy the Magic of Friendship, and share that joy in the name of Celestia.
    Thou shalt never waste a slice of cake.


    Rejoice! The New Age has begun!


  13. Kel_Grym
    I'm not doing any more marriages unti after Sept 7th.
     
    Reason being, is that I need to focus my attentions on trying to make enough extra cash to afford to go to the Brony Fan Fair in Austin, this September.
     
    Also won't be doing a lot on the forums except for chatting with a few close friends.
     
    That is all.
     
     

    Hail Celestia.


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