Moon Star

So here is that Fan fic I wrote here a while ago, now in audio. I'm thinking of making it a regular update thing but I uploaded this and I want to see where it goes. This is my first time reading a fan fic, so any feed back would be appreciated. I'm also trying to work on things to block out noises better.Let me know what Y'all think. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n53uVfnPQRE

http://mlpforums.com/topic/106263-the-stallion-of-fate/ This be the fanfic I wrote. Took a look at it and it seems like a grand idea to me. I suppose we shall find out if I have this higher thought. :comeatus:

This sounds like a lot of fun. My Skype name is dragonwriterx. Though when you say analysis you mean like reviews of the series, fan made videos and such like what Silver Quill does I'm assuming. Yes?

Greetings everyone, this is the first fanfic I've ever written involving MLP, or any of the sort really. What this is here, is really just all the day dreams I have in my head put on paper, or text rather. Most of the time when I write things just flash in my head and I write it down to the smallest detail possible. So this is a result of that. Let me know what y'all think. The Stallion of Fate. 1,000 years ago. During the rise of Nightmare Moon. The time of darkness was ever dominant. There was a young colt whom's destiny would be forever shaped on one fateful night. His name was Moon Star. The colt was only a young filly only 7. He had not yet earned his mark, he had a white flank, a white mane, ocean blue eyes. Like all young fillies eager to earn their marks he would try numerous things to earn it. He was a gifted young earth pony. He had yet to tap into his true power. He was happy, times were simple. Both his mother and father were also gifted earth ponies. His father was able to smash rocks and was able channel his own energy to communicate with the land. And his mother was one of the fastest earth ponies alive. Able to move 600 feet in the blink of an eye. They lived in Hoofington, not to far from the old kingdom where Princess Luna resigned at the time. They taught their son the techniques in which to do as they did. So that he would have the skills to forge his own path. Though he often struggled with the training. Never did he know how much it would shape his future. The young pony had a love for the night, he was definitely a night pony for sure. He would not fear the night. Rather he enjoyed it's company. He had also became friends with Princess Luna herself. Another reason for him to enjoy the night. They would talk about many things. Princess Luna was one of the few that would talk to him. Princess Luna enjoyed the company of those who appreciated the light as she did. Their friendship was only know to the young stallions parents. Princess Luna and Moon Star would often travel through the woods, and go close to Luna's kingdom. Moon Star was one of the few that was able to do so, for he and Luna had a special bond. She would also help him with some of his training at times, they would often Princess Luna would take him to the highest mountain peaks, they would often meditate together there. They would also go to the waterfalls near the castle. Slowly but surely he would learn to channel the energy of the planet through. They spent a lot of time over the years. One night while atop one of the mountains. His mark would appear. It was a wheel. He was very happy to finally have his mark. Though he had no idea what it meant. Princess Luna had an idea as to what it meant. As he learned more of his mark. Princess Luna became a mentor to him. All the while Princess Luna had a dark future. The young colt could feel the darkness with in her. He knew that it would one day take her completely. Princess Luna gave Moon Star a special Amulet, it would protect him in his darkest time. He graciously accepted. He then told her if there was ever a time where she needed him. He would do everything in his power to help her, even if it meant his own life. Princess Luna was surprised by the loyalty her friend had for her. And told him about the darkness growing with in her. "My dear sweet Moon Star. You are one of my most cherished friends. Not many accept my darkness as well as you have. However the night is coming when the darkness inside will take me completely" she said as her eyes became slit like a snake. Moon Star did not look in fear but in sadness, he knew that he was going to lose the friend he's had for so many years. It was a reality he wished would not come true. He knew the reason for the darkness, the limelight of living in the shadow of your elder sister takes its toll. This would perhaps be the last night he would see the same Princess Luna that he came to be friends with, and he knew this. "I wish there was something I could do to help. You've done so much for me, I got my mark thanks to you. I just really wish there was something I could do to save you" Luna turned to him and smiled, she wrapped her gentle wings around him in a bitter sweet embrace. With that she flew off, and said her farewell to her long time friend. Moon Star walked home after words. Normally he and Luna would be enjoying one another's time. He had flashes of what was to come of her. He cried for her, but he told himself no matter how dark she became. He would do something. Maybe it wouldn't stop the darkness, but it could save her life. He had went straight home and instead of being up late like he normally is he went to sleep. Seeing Princess Luna in his dreams. Though it was not truly her, just dreams of what could have been. The next morning he woke up in with a terrible sorrow. Never had he felt such sorrow, he had been crying in his sleep. He told his mother about it, she would assure him that all would be well. "Darkness is a natural order, though even when the times are darkest, no matter how dark. The ones who stayed by to the end, as you did for Princess Luna, you will always be somewhere in their heart" The next few months Moon Star had gained a lot of progress in his training, he was now at the point in his speed training that he was now dawning heavy weights. Weights that most adult stallions could not pull let alone walk with them. The would be strapped to his four legs. He would slowly be able to walk around with them casually. As if they weren't even there. When this happened he would up the weights, so that he would eventually be able to move as fast as his mother. The day became night, he still had his love for the night. Even though what he considered the best part of the night, was no longer visiting him. He was very fast now, he would relieve himself of the heavy weights and run to some of the places where he and Princess Luna would meditate together. He then had a vision, a horrific sight. He had snapped out of his meditative state. The smell of smoke filled the forest. He looked on seeing the direction was near his home, he rushed out of the forest. He got to his home, it had been burned to the ground, along with many other homes. The pungent smell of burnt flesh filled the air. He frantically searched for survivors including his parents. He had not much concern as he knew how strong they were. There were no survivors all of them were badly burned to death. He then began looking for his mother and father. He went back to his own house, there was no one to be scene so he figured his parents got out. He turned around and saw a deranged stallion looking back in his mouth was his mother's corpse, not only burned slashed and mutilated as well. Moon Star had a great sense of fear and anger. He had no clear thought. Suddenly the deranged stallion looked up at Moon Star and spat out his mother, and said with a wicked smile "Run!" With out hesitation Moon Star did, completely afraid no plan of action he wanted to stand and fight. Kill the deranged monster that had slain his village. But he didn't know what he was up against and his instincts took over and forced him to run. Though something was wrong, he wasn't running like he was trained to, he was running as if the training never existed. Like the fear had overwhelmed him so much that he'd forgotten everything except how to run. The deranged stallion pulled out a blade, and threw it at Moon Star, it hit him in the back of the leg which tripped him. He was sent fumbling into a tree. He was dazed unable to move. He watched as the deranged stallion walked toward him slowly. Moon Star looked up at the stallion. Wondering why he would be so cruel. "I'm only doing whats needed. I am saving us from the darkness that is to come" The stallion said. The deranged stallion reached down and yanked the blade out of Moon Stars flank. He yelped in pain, as the blood began to flow more freely from the wound. As the deranged stallion brought the blade down. Moon Star somehow found the strength to move out of the way. He picked himself up and started to limp away. The Deranged pony stalked him. "Well I expected no less from the son of Null Rock, both he and your mother put up quite the fight" He said as he made his way to Moon Star. Moon Star wasn't paying much attention to what the deranged pony said. He kept going until he bumped into something. Moon Star looked up to see a familiar face. It was Princess Luna. Though she was different, she was wearing a light blue helmet, and chest armor. A dark aura surrounded her. It was not the same Princess Luna he had come to know and admire. The gentle purple fur that soothed Moon Star was now as black as the darkest night. He knew what it was, the darkness she told him about finally took hold of her. The deranged stallion had stopped for a moment. Then he charged at Luna with the blade in hoof. Princess Luna laughed as he did. She would fire a dark purple beam at the deranged pony. It surrounded him as Luna raised her head up, the deranged pony levitated off the ground Luna had complete control of him. She grinned at the deranged pony, she turned her head sharply. He followed the motion which followed a snap. She released her hold and the pony dropped to the ground, not moving at all. Moon Star looked up at Luna, still bleeding profusely. "Thank you Princess Luna, I owe you my life" He said. Luna looked back at him and scoffed. "I am not you're Princess Luna young colt. I am Nightmare Moon. I am she who will punish the guilty sun, never for it to rise again. Night will reign eternal" Her anger radiated over him, almost crushing him. He was sad for the one who took him under her wing. He looked up at her and could not help but see Luna still in there looking back at him. His vision became blurred, Nightmare Moon looked down at him, and gave a faint smile. Her horn glowed brightly, she pointed it to his leg. The same light that killed the deranged pony surrounded Moon Star's leg. Slowly the wound closed and the bleeding stopped. Moon Star swore for the moment, it was the Luna he'd come to know and trust. It was just for a moment. A few moments later the wound was closed it was healed completely. Again he thanked her. "Do not thank me Moon Star, consider it as a debt being paid. You were the only one that stayed by my side knowing that the darkness you see before you is what I would become. It is for this I give you a second chance to live. Use it well, for if we ever meet again I will not be so kind" She flapped her wings and took off. Moon Star lowered his head as the grief of what he'd lost over came him. He tried to hold back his tears until Nightmare Moon was gone. Though the wound he had was closed the lose of blood still effected him. A few moments later he collapsed and fell unconscious. He had visions again of what would become of Nightmare Moon. He remembered what she spoke, punish the guilty sun. Eternal night, he knew she meant to destroy Princess Celestia. The battle played through his head. Though the outcome was not clear, he could see blood would be spilt, whom's blood he didn't know. He would worry for both Celestia and Nightmare Moon. He was uncertain about the fate of the world. Days later he woke up still in a daze, he was moving. He sat up quickly and looked around. He was being pulled on a cart in the middle of a town. He looked in front of him to see an armored unicorn pulling him in a cart. He guessed it was a royal guard. The armored unicorn looked back at him. "So you're finally awake, about time you've been out for the past 5 days, though hard to really say how long its been since the sun came up." Moon Star looked up to see the sky still dark. No sun to be seen. It was as if Nightmare Moon had done as she set out to do and make the eternal night. They arrived at a palace, it was the kingdom of Princess Celestia herself. Moon Star questioned the guard as to why he was being brought here. The guard told him the Princess would make everything clear. The cart stops just in front of the gate. "Alright young colt you'll continue towards the thrown room from here" The guard said. Moon Star slowly put his hooves down on the ground and slowly put all four on the ground. His legs burned as blood started rush through them. They made were like pins and needles as he walked. He would stumble a bit. "Do you need assistance walking young colt" The guard asked. "No I'm fine my legs are asleep that's all" Moon Star replied. The palace doors opened and let him inside. The other guards raised a hoof to point him in the directions of the thrown room. The burning in his legs had slowly subsided by the time he got to where he was going. The doors opened and in front of him stood the magnificent Celestia. It was easy it would be to become a shadow behind her, no princess so as beloved as she. "Greetings young Moon Star." Celestia said speaking first. "How do you know my name?" He asked. "Luna told me much about you before she became Nightmare Moon, however this is not important. Let us discuss why I've brought you here. As you know my Sister Luna has surrendered to her darkness. As a result I am not able to raise the sun as I usually do." "So why am I hear Princess?" Moon Star asked. "It is simple" Celestia replied. "You were one of Luna's closest companions. That amulet around your neck is a symbol of how much she valued you as a friend. So I bring you here to help us find a way to set her free of her darkness." Moon Star though about it for a moment. He wanted nothing more than for his friend to be happy, to be rid of her dark passenger. "I will help you. She has helped me so much through out my years. It was thanks to her I got my mark. I would do anything to save her. I owe her that as she saved me. Nightmare Moon saved my life that night. She killed the monster that wiped out my village. And healed my injured leg. She said she saved me because I was the only one that talked to her during her darkest times." The last statement put a look of sadness on Celestia's face. "Why would she say something like that. I'm her sister. I don't understand why she never came to me. We could have worked it out, it didn't need to be like this" Moon Star looked on at Celestia as tears streamed down her face, the same tears she saw on the face of Luna. He had no idea how to react. No idea what to say, he apologized for making her cry. Celestia looked back at him. "It isn't your fault Moon Star, I'm glad she had someone she felt she could trust. Though the matter at hoof is now that we must stop the darkness inside her before it destroys us all" Moon Star nodded. The next moment a siren sounded. An attack on the palace, battle cries could be heard from outside. The sound of arrows being fired. Celestia and Moon Star ran outside only to be stopped by the guards. "Your highness it's Nightmare Moon she's here, we must get you out of here" He said as he grabbed hold of Celestia and ran with her. She put her hoof down and stopped, and shook the guard off her. "No I must face my sister. This cannot happen" Celestia said as she flapped her wings and went to the roof. Moon Star ran towards the front gate, the guard tried to stop him, but before he could grab him he disappeared. Moon Star stood on the roof next to Celestia. "Luna" Celestia said "This doesn't need to happen, please stop this madness." Nightmare Moon eyed her sister. "Madness you say. For years I've lived in your limelight, the day far outshine the much more beautiful night. After this night is over dear sister there will only be one Princess, or rather I shall be the Queen of the Night. I shall rule as I was intended not you." She looked over to see Moon Star "And you Moon Star, why do you side with my sister. You should be at my side you are of the night as I am. Join me and fight by my side." Moon Star shook his head. "I cannot Luna. Under normal circumstances you know I would. I would fight to the death for you. I will do so tonight if I have to, you gave me a second chance at life. You told me to use it well, I will use it to do whatever I can to save you from this darkness" Luna could not help but laugh. "Then my dear Moon Star I shall kill you along with my sister" She shot a beam at Moon Star, it was the same beam she used to kill the stallion that previous night. Celestia guarded Moon Star against it. Celestia urged Moon Star to leave now and leave Nightmare Moon to her but he would not leave. He would not have much choice in the matter as they took to the sky. Celestia flying by Nightmare Moon to get her away from Moon Star. It worked as the evil princess began to chase her sister. Firing beam after beam until one would hit Celestia's bare back. Sending her hurdling to the ground. Celestia was trying her hardest to get to where the elements of harmony were kept. But she was not successful. Nightmare Moon walked towards her fallen sister. "Any last words dear sister?" Nightmare Moon said. Celestia managed to find the strength to quickly lift her head and fired a beam at Nightmare Moon which sent her crashing against the stone wall. Nightmare Moon was dazed, as she got back to her hooves. Celestia put her head down point her horn at Nightmare Moon and started running toward her with the horn magically charged to pierce through her chest armor. Just as Celestia was about to run Nightmare Moon through, Moon Star pushed her out of the way, but inturn took her place. Being impaled to the wall by Celestia's horn. The amulet Luna gave to him absorbed the magic charge that would have otherwise destroyed him. Time seemed to freeze, Celestia had not pulled out yet unaware that Moon Star had taken her sister's place Until Nightmare Moon screamed. "MOON STAR!" She said in horror, she rammed Celestia off him, catching him before he fell to set him down. He had a hole in through his sternum. "Why would you do that you idiot?" Nightmare Moon screamed "I did not ask for you to save me?" "I thought you wanted me dead" He laughed a bit. She would growl at him as she was about to yell at him. she turned her attention to Celestia. Celestia got to her hooves and saw what she had done. She couldn't believe it, she had lost sight for just a moment. A moment of rage was all it took. She was over taken at the fact that she was ready to take the life of her own sister. Also that somepony else paid the price instead. Nightmare Moon looked back at Celestia. "Now you see why I want to destroy you. Moon Star was the only one who understood my darkness, and now he could die. Because of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nightmare Moon's eyes glowed a bright white as she called for the dark winds to end the fight once and for all. "No!" Moon Star uttered. Nightmare Moon stopped and looked at him. "This can't be right. This is not the night I came to know and love. This...This is wrong Luna" "I told you before, the Luna you know is gone. I am Nightmare Moon, and I will make sure the sun never rises again!" Moon Star started to crawl to his hooves and stood up. It seemed to be only will power that allowed him to stand up. Nightmare Moon couldn't believe her eyes. Neither could Celestia whom urged him to stay down but he wouldn't listen. "I want nothing more then to set you free Luna. You made me who I am today, I owe you my life. You gave me a second chance to live." "I also told you the next time we met I would not be so kind" She retorted. "If it is your wish for me to kill you at my expense then so be it, I will not let some fool like you stand in the way of my destiny no matter how much I don't like it. Now then if you can still fight then come on. Other wise stand down and I will spare you further agony and let you die peacefully." Moon Star shook his head. "I would have no peace with myself if I did not try to save you." He stood up ready to fight against his mentor. Many thoughts rushed through his head. He could not find anyway around it. He would muster any strength he had left. He still had the hole in his chest. She pointed her horn at him, as she fired everything around them seemed to slow down. Like the moment when the final blow was about to be dealt. They looked one another in the eye. Moon Star gave a slow shallow breath. Nightmare Moon would fire beam of red at Moon Star, in the blink of an eye he side stepped the laser, then rushed at Night Mare Moon as he was about to land a right hoof Celestia stepped in blocking his attack with just her wing. As if it were slow motion. She placed her self between the two of them. She looked at Moon Star. "This is my fight. not yours I am the reason she is like this. I must be the one to stop it." Moon Star reluctantly backed down. "If you try to kill her again I wont hesitate to stop you." Nightmare Moon took hold of Luna fully this time. "Finally its just the two of us Sister as it was meant to be." "Yes Quite my dear Luna. I'm sorry I let it come to this." Six symbols appeared around Celestia, they were the Elements of Harmony. Nightmare Moon charged up her final attack her horn glowed a grayish white. The two Princesses launched there attacks. Moon Star could only look in awe as the lights combined together. The elements over whelmed Nightmare Moons single beam. The would send her up into the sky towards the moon, a shock explosion ripped through the night sky. The moon then had the imprint of Nightmare Moon. And there she would stay for the next 1000 years. Moon Star then fell to the ground. The wound had finally taken it's toll on him. Celestia sat down next to him and placed a wing under his head. "I'm sorry Celestia I couldn't save her." "No Moon Star you did more for her than I ever could. I almost killed her, if you hadn't pushed her out of the way she would be dead. She will be on the moon for the next 1000 years. At least there she will be safe." Moon Star could be happy with that. Though it would pain him that he could not say good bye. He slipped into unconsciousness, in that moment he found himself standing in front of Nightmare Moon. She looked as surprised as he was. Though she seemed to be happy to see him. The helmet she was wearing seemed to fade away. She regained her purple color. "Moon Star. I'm sorry you got hurt because of my anger." Moon Star couldn't believe it. "Luna it's really you! I can't believe it" He ran over to her to give her a hug, she reached out as well. It had been a long time since he'd felt those gentle wings around him. "I'm so glad you're okay Luna" Luna let him go. "Are you alright Moon Star, I know you took Celestia's horn. That was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen anypony do." She said slapping him with her hoof. It was to real, though Moon Star remembered Luna could enter the dreams of others, though it likely was not her rather the last bit of her light she had passed to Moon Star so they could have their final farewell. So it was real in a sense. "Well Luna if it was not for the amulet you gave me, I probably would be dead" He said raising it up. Luna was surprised to see he'd kept it all this time. Though she was glad he did. "This is probably the last time we'll see each other Moon Star." She said as she watched him begin to fade out. Luna placed her horn over his chest to try heal the wound. This time it was blocked by something. He felt himself being pulling him. He wasn't sure what it was. Maybe he this was death taking him, he wasn't sure. He looked at Luna one last time "Fare well Luna perhaps we shall meet again in time." "Thank you Moon Star, I will repay you for all you've done for me." Moon Star woke up he was laying in a bed. "Well looks like I'm not going anywhere for a while. I will wait for you Luna." He felt something protruding from his forehead. A horn, "and I'm unicorn now how about that." He got up and walked to the window, watching the sun raise. The sight was breath taking. Watching Celestia rise as did the sun. The hole in his chest was gone but a scar remained. It seemed Moon Star's Journey had only just begun. And so The Stallion of Fate was born.

Thank you all for the warm welcomes. I suppose I could just post the whole thing in the fanfic section here. Though it is my first fanfic, its really just day dreams that I had in my head put onto paper. Well Text rather, The OC is the same name I have on this forum. Which I should have thought about before. I usually go by Roark on most places. This time I wanted to go by that name for some reason. I guess it just fit? But yes I'll put the fanfic on the fanfic part and see what y'all think. I don't know how good it is though, live and learn yes?

Thank you much Pinkie cheers.

Hello everypony I am Moon Star the unicorn, there isn't really a whole lot to me. I enjoy writing a lot I just recently started writing a series with this same user name. I suppose it would be an introduction or the pilot piece of the series I'm creating. It'll be my first fanfic thing. Also I'm a night pony hence the name. Its also why Princess Luna is a favorite, ever since she appeared in the first season, I've had so many interesting and fantastical dreams/day dreams of her. Which is what got me into writing again. Though I do wish they'd do more with her on the show. The first season I hear was supposed to feature her more. But the hub said it was inappropriate for some odd reason. I also tend to ramble a bit sometimes especially if it's talking about Princess Luna or other subjects of interest. So if I do that I apologize in advanced. Writing is something I've always been somewhat good at, drawing and singing has never been a strong suit for me, I'm also always looking for inspiration which isn't that hard to find if toy have an open mind. With a healthy dose of skepticism of course. So that is me in a nut shell. Moon Star the Night Pony who fans a bit too much over Princess Luna, and has a hobby in writing. Any questions feel free to ask.