JonasDarkmane

I look through the Debate Pit of old, at old topics. At a golden age of enlightenment, meaningful values and an undying devotion to a stance of non-violence, and a want to reach compromise. 

After reading my old posts, I feel as if my language has regressed, my focus dumbed down and become more simplified. 

Have I really changed for the worse? Has being buried in the muck of things and seeing all this negativity happening everywhere, all the tribalism taking place and the big important issues radicalized me? 

I am not sure. I know that I am still going in the right direction, but I have lost the true path. That I have taken a different path towards the same direction, different from the path I once was on. From seeing people as equals whom I could deradicalize yet disagree with, over to seeing people as detrimental opponents whose arguments need to be crushed. 

Perhaps time just does this. Perhaps time just hardens you a bit. Perhaps hard laborious work does this. Perhaps passing up arguments as just 'negative-inducing' degrades your senses and your own ability to hold up a cohesive argument. Perhaps it is the result of actually taking a side rather than just knowing which choice is worse or is being focused on. Perhaps one's own personal life just affects you too much. Perhaps lack of dialogue does. Perhaps relying too much on the words of others rather than on your own principles and beliefs does this. Perhaps dialogue itself has changed so much that people have dumbed down their own arguments and are now more out there for blood rather than for reaching a meaningful solution. 

In any case, things certainly have changed. 

But one thing I don't want to change. I will always consider myself to be a principled  person. And having non-violence as a core of my principles sounds good enough for me. Not chanting for anyone's head to be removed, for anyone's job to be taken away or for anyone's public being to be shamed, sounds good enough to me. 

I really did go from seeking something meaningful over to seeking something expedient (thank you for that wake-up, Peterson)

I guess just reading my past arguments, my past posts, my past dialogues was really a wake-up call.