碇 シンジン

As you can see im pretty much definition of loser because my fears control my life completely

I understand that well. Emotions have a tendency to defeat logical thought, so even when you tell yourself that its highly unlikely fear will say otherwise. It's very hard to get over things like this, but the best you can do is face it. I need to do the same right now with this abandoned kids party house. I have this irrational fear that the robots from Five Nights at Freddy's are in there...

Dw its completely normal to be like that XD