碇 シンジン

But if I get depressed or upset I always fault myself at everything, because faulting or hurting others is the last thing I want to do that's why I blame myself.

Well you shouldn't blame anyone. Not yourself or anyone else. It is never anybodies fault except if somebody does something intentionally. If your depressed or upset you should not blame your self. You should try to cheer yourself up. If that does not work then you should let the depression pass over.

Try... not blaming anybody, just think "Oh well, but I'll get past it!" Dispel those bad thoughts, accept what happens, and try your best. Even when things seem suckish, you have to keep moving forward.