碇 シンジン

Either I have changed or people around me have or both but it definitely  hasn't gone in the better direction from my point of view.

The approach point on how to initiate something has changed from passive to semi aggressive and the overall atmosphere because of that is feeling heavy on me.

Anything else feels like a false front which is then presented in a light that makes it seem like it is alright but I really think it isn't. 

Maybe it is just not for me and this strife is just in my head and in reality things are differently. But who am i to make that decision. I'll act on my instinct based on the feeling i get after reading the atmosphere of the situation. And currently what I'm seeing is not compatible with me as it is.

It would present a new opportunity but the internal strife is too much for me and it wouldn't bring me that much closer to the overall goal I am working myself towards. And because I'm seeing it that way I don't believe that any further involvement  is necessary  for me towards this.

If you feel differently that is alright