AmberDust

oh, was i allowed to ask that?

 @Gold3, Sorry, I've been away from the forums! I believe I use Inkscape 9.1? I'm really glad you like my art! :3

Awwww she's adorable!!!

Thank you! :3

Done~

StormJumper looks good to me now that she's been updated. I'll pass her along to receive first and second approval. In the meantime though, I would suggest one little change, that you remove the note that Amber's brother is currently unnamed. You won't be able to change this profile later, so by removing that note you will be able to name him later without making any portion of this bio inaccurate. 

Got it!

(I really wish they sent me notifications for these. Sorry for the delay)

Updated!

 

The only thing I would say to fix now is very minor, that the last two points in Plum's "other" section would be better placed in the backstory section, since that would be an appropriate place to talk about the family Plum grew up with after being adopted. I'm sure they played an important role in making Plum the pony she is today, after all. Once those are moved over, I'll happily move Plum Pudding through the acceptance process

Done and done! Now to fix up Storm's profile.

I can't edit the image after she's been accepted, eh? Ah, well. The current one should be fine, even though the mane's not right. I don't have the energy to make another vector at the moment, and my selection of pencil crayons is a little limited...

I'll fix that part you mentionned when I'm off of mobile, then you can accept her, whether or not I decided to switch out the image.

Now that I think about it, @Eloquence, Luna was still Nightmare Moon when Storm was a filly.

Perhaps she just thought Luna visited her, but it was actually some subconscious combination of her own guilt and somepony she knew. Hmm.

I'm glad you like her story. I'm always afraid that the "orphan" trope would be too...blinding.

I'll definitely add more to it. There's a lot of info knocking about in my head, I was just afraid of being reptitive I guess (since these three characters sort of share a backstory).

Regarding her feeling inferior, I'm going to try to defend my idea...

I know that bullying based on race hasn't yet been seen in the show sonce Hearth's Warming, but Plum Pudding grew up in different circumstances from the characters we've seen so far. She grew up in an orphanage, where parents get to decide which child they want based on their own preferences. I guess what I'm saying is that the fillies of the orphanage began noticing patterns, and the Earth ponies tended to stay there the longest. It's not that Plum Pudding felt like a second-class citizen or anything--she just felt unspecial. Like, the way a "blank flank" would.

Oh, I forgot to mention this stupidly important fact: She grew up in a Nothern Village mostly inhabited by Unicorns.

Whoops. -_-'

Yeah, I was thinking something along those lines, too, and some gears started turning in my head regarding how Amber and StormJumper met...

Hmmm...

I'll edit this submission once the idea it complete.

You can simply change her backstory altogether, or you can do what some other people have done and create separate stories for this character's EqE and EvE profiles.

I'd love to RP her, but I honestly have no ideas (yet) regarding what could replace Luna in her backstory. I guess I'll just have to do a little daydreaming and figure this out. :/

Would you have any suggestions?

 

• Though I like the idea of Luna helping Storm much like she did Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, OCs cannot have pre-established relationships with cast characters per EqE’s rules. This part of her backstory will need to be rewritten to remove the relationship with Luna

Oh, dear...is that really a rule? Hmm...

I think that her interaction with princess Luna was a very important defining factor in her life...I'm not sure what I could replace it with. :/ It's kind of the biggest, most important event that ever affected her. :/

As for the other suggestions, I'll get on them right away.

I see a hearts and hooves day RP in your future. 9u9

@@BedBugBiter

I used a scanner. I have one at home, but if you don't, you can go to staples or Lowreys and have them scan it for you onto a USB stick...I think. There might be a small fee, but it's a lot cheaper than getting your own scanner.

Yeah, it's perfectly fine.

 

 

 

You can always change it later on by asking one of RP worlds mods for moving it back to unapproved. As long as you list the changes you've made and they won't impact the canon etc, the approval process will be much swifter, since the char was approved once already (ergo, there shouldn't be anything wrong with it in the first place).

 

 

 

The links should remain intact. However, if by any chance they stop working, just send them to me after the approval and I'll implement them back in application.

Awesome! Well, I hope she's approved.

And, yes, she's ready now.

Quite a long road, isn't it? But it's fruitful.

 

 

 

 

In order to tone down the (sometimes) insane unicorn abilities and allow Twilight to remain... well... Twilight, in terms of her magic prowess and abilities, we require unicorns to possess only a limited amount of spells connected to their special talents, with some of them being reserved only to those who are exceptionally good with magic (read: have always expressed interest in it, studied it and their special talent is straightly related to it). Teleportation is one of those spells. And you'd have to explain the "illusions" part a bit better, since it's quite a broad term as it stands right now. Additionally, now when I think of this I'm not sure if I've seen any different character apart from Twilight, Alicorns and Villains use "magic bursts". My mind might be playing tricks on me though, someone else will have to verify this.

 

That brings me to my second point which is rather an... advice? Warning? Not sure how to call that, because it's neither

I see that you link the backstory and the description of your OC to sources which are beyond the Equestrian Empire. Therefore, remember: As long as anything you write up for EqE would for sure be appropriate to roleplay with in the Everfree Empire (a.k.a. the "Regular section", but called like that by us), it doesn't work the opposite way. I am quite certain I've never heard about any Plum Pudding living in Ponyville nor did I see her application accepted into EqE. However, at once I do realize that, obviously, any OC has potential friends. Therefore I'm not against mentioning them, as long as you'll limit yourself to only talk about them in RPs and they won't indirectly affect any RPs either. (tl;dr [you should read it tho :l] just a heads up, no changes needed in this field)

 

Lastly: It would be nice if you could finalize her colour scheme already. I know you have a knack for designing eye-candy colour schemes for OCs, and I know how tormenting it can be to make them look perfect in our minds, but the longer you think about it, the worse it'll get xD

 

That being said, I personally don't see any other issues with the app and I'd *MOST PROBABLY* stamp it for second approval if these changes were implemented.

Also, I just updated the cutie mark image. Is that okay?

@

Regarding fighting style:

Yeah that whole thing was only concierges because Amber was entered in a pony fighting game as a playable character. It's not something I consider "canon" to the character, just a bit of extra stuff that I thought I'd mention--but I'll remove it. (I've already removed most of the "other" section because it was mostly trivia regarding my creative process.)

Regarding Plum Pudding: Don't worry, I won't try to RP her in the EQE section. She's basically a background character, so I just planned on using her for context, etc.

Is that okay?

Regarding colour scheme: Yeah, it's pretty much final by now. :/ I jus feel uncomfortable setting it in stone, because I'll probably conjure something better later. ^^' Oh well. Lets say it's final!

Also, a question: If Amber is approved, will all links going to this page cease to work? Or will they transfer?

There's been several characters that we don't like that have been approved. It's not about whether or not we like them, but if they are canon appropriate.

 

That being said, the coloring of the text has implicating the colors of the ponies those elements are associated with has to go. I understand where you're coming from, but part of the rules for the section dictate that your character have no connection with the cast characters. With the coloration such that it is, you're likening your character to that of the Mane 6.

 

Also, the other section also applied to the character, and Pokemon doesn't exist in MLP. Removing all of the information in that part wouldn't harm the integrity of the character, and could potentially stop her from being approved. The likelihood of her going to Ponyville is quite high, since that is where a good majority of the RP's in EQE are centered.

Will do, I suppose. ^^" I guess you're right about the "other". I'll remove the parts that don't contribute to her character.

Reviewing over your application again, it seems like one of my suggestions was implemented, but not all of them.

Alright, fine. I removed the elements reference and I moved the part about Amber being sneaky. I also edited her "other" section a bit. She's ready.

I just want to point out one thing here:

 

In the end it is YOUR OC You should be the first one to like her colour scheme and personality, after all it'll be you roleplaying her! It's good that you seek criticism on it, but it doesn't mean you'll need to change it ASAP as soon as someone says he/she doesn't like it. As long as it's not hurting anyone's eyes and fits the canon (hint: pitch-black OCs), it'll be good.

As for the personality: read the second sentence again

 

Although I absolutely adore the color scheme personally.

Ah, yes, I know that it's important for me to like my OC, but at the moment, I'm trying to get her approved, so it's important that the mods like her, too. ^^"

But, hey, there IS such thing as a bad OC.

 Her personality is passable (other than what has already been mentioned). Your biography is very close to being done, in fact.

 

If you implement the changes I have given, a RP staff member would be happy to give her a second review and possibly accept her.

, did you read any of my edits? I took your advice to mind and changed my wording regarding the element, and also organized some things better. I'd love to have it critiqued again--maybe your opinion on her colour scheme can cement it. then I'll replace the image with a better drawing, if that's okay.

Her personality is "passable"? Welp... I'd love your suggestions if you think she could be improved.

I edited it somewhat, based on your suggestions. I am yet to get rid of the elements reference though, because I really hate editing on mobile lol.

Also, I don't really need her appearance to be critiqued. It doesn't seem like something important for roleplay.

Otherwise, I agree with you, and thanks for elaborating.

1. Would you give me a hand with colour scheme then? Or, rather, is "work in progress" the same as "subject to change"? Because its more like that. :/

2. I put the "element of harmony" stuff in there to further elaborate on her personality. No, she'll never wield one, its just insight on her personality translated into mlp terms. I think it's a good thing to include.

3. That one isn't so much obvious as it is common. I included it because its something that bothers her more than others. I guess I could remove the "duh" part.

4. I don't think this is a personality trait so much as it is a physical trait...But i guess the part about her mindset should be moved. I just thought it would make more sense all put together as an "extra" of sorts, since it's not a part of her personality thats presented often...Its more of an...occupational hazard. Maybe I should have used the term "inconspicuous" or "stealthy" instead of "sneaky" though. Or maybe I should take out that whole part. Blurgh.

5. Yeah, I did draw the cutie mark myself. I cropped that out of an older image of my OC...if you follow the link asking for help on colour schemes, you'll see the full image. Is that the pic Troblems was thinking of?

Also, what do you think of my OCs personality and such? So far the only notes you mentioned are about my poor organizational skills. ^^'