Valencia

Whenever I stop doing something for a length of time more than a couple days, I have issue making myself go back to do it again- doesn't matter what it is, I just.. build a wall between that thing and myself, and I've gotten to the point that when i try to do these things, it gives me a level of anxiety that I can't function in 

But ive missed this place  I've missed all of you so terribly- I've thought about you every day, and how I should return 

breaking through this wall is currently spinning me up and making it hard to type what thoughts I really want to convey to you all-day how much I've missed you, the headspace I've been in, how my uncle is

I couldn't stand to not be back here- I had to at least try and come back, no matter what has changed or people who have left... Or times that I've missed or who may have forgotten me...

My uncle has been in Cleveland for the past month or so, they've been treating him well, and about ten days ago he had quadruple bypass surgery, which was a success 

My brother is fine- you can't even see the scar very much anymore 

To those I've lost by being away, you may not see it but I want you to know that I'm sorry for being away for so long... 

I hope my lifes happenings, as well as my dark mindset hasn't put me in too many friends closed chapters...

I love you, I'm sorry I've been gone, I'm still trying very hard to fight this abyssal night I feel imprisoned in within my psyche 

But I couldn't stay away any longer... I hope that shows a turn for the good...