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It's one of your days when you ask a family member, with a straight face, how to work a toaster.
Dark Horse
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was an unnecessarily complicated one.
Stardust Balance
In fairness, I never used a toaster before in my life having not eaten toast since I was a child. XD Also I assumed that there was more to just sliding the toast down; right settings and all that.
Just a flick of the dial depending how crispy you like it really. Any other buttons are useless.