(Disclaimer and Warnings: This is not a rant-- I repeat, this isn't a rant. This is advice for those who're curious to see how to support us trans people more. If you dare try to argue with me about anything said here, I'll simply block you and call you out as transphobic if that is if that's you're questioning what offends and oppresses us trans people. I'm always more than happy to answer legitimate questions other than so, so go ahead and please read!)
#1: Do not ask for the person's birth name if they've changed it.
There's a reason why we changed our names in the first place, is because our birth names made us uncomfortable. It'd be one thing to be curious, but please try refraining yourself from such questions. This also includes trying to be sneaky and asking that person's friends if they know. Don't invade our past lives-- it's invasion of privacy and highly disrespectful.
#2: Don't ask us if we were "born a boy/girl".
In fact, don't ask us at all what we were born with or designated with unless if you're 100% sure the person who you're talking to is a-okay with discussing of such subject. Also, when you ask if we're born a boy or a girl, you're further pressing on the fact that the person is transgender. Your worries shouldn't be on whether if we're transgender or not, let alone our genitals, it should be what we DO identify as, not who we pretended as who we "were".
#3: Don't call trans people= transgenders, transgendered, trans*/transgender*.
Transgenders don't exist, however trans people/transgender people do. You make us sound like a species, also in general this is grammatically incorrect. Don't say or call us transgendered. Being transgender isn't a choice, a disease, a illness, etc. You can't be ""transgendered"", you're just transgender or not. Now, on the asterisk part-- the asterisk hurts actual trans people. No, this isn't inclusive of nonbinary people, if you're nonbinary you're transgender already, whoever thought of this must of been smoking some good shit because buddy, wow. You're now including those who AREN'T in the LGBTQ/transgender community such as cross-dressers, drag queens/kings, or basically anything along the lines of transvestites. Transvestites aren't trans people, they just wear a wig and makeup and have specific personality traits to said character they make up possibly for shows or just for fun.
#4: Don't make yourself a victim when misgendering someone.
Alright dude, I get it, you're sorry-- now shut up. I understand sometimes people who are very conscious of how others think of them may be prone to over-apologize when using the incorrect name/pronouns when referring to someone, but keep in mind we hate you more when you make yourself look like you're the innocent one. Stop crying, stop whining, we get it. You're not the victim-- just apologize, shut up, and continue on with your life.
#5: Don't-- and I repeat-- do NOT speak over trans people on transgender issues/topics.
You could be Barack Obama himself for all I give a flying fuck, do not speak over trans people's experiences, views, opinions, etc. on transgender topics/issues. For example, if a trans woman tells you that what you said/did is transmisogynistic, do not fucking question them-- instead ask questions such as: "Oh, I'm sorry for being rude. Can you please tell me what I said/did was wrong?" "Okay, I won't joke/do something like that again." "My bad, thank you for correcting me!" etc. You do NOT say: "Stop being a crybaby, you know I meant nothing by it!" "I don't hate you and other trans women, in fact I have you, a trans woman, as a friend right?! That must mean something!" "Okay, but how is a guy dressing up as a girl not funny?" or along other fucked up and sarcastic remarks.
#6: Trying to make "cisphobia" more of a concern than actual oppression against trans people.
Let me first explain to you what oppression is-- it's prejudice and power. Trans people cannot be oppressors (unless if we overpower someone for something different other than transgender,) because we're the oppressed. We do not hold power over cis people. We do not have strong prejudice against cis people. Also keep in mind, being prejudice means you hate for a group for invalidated and unjustified reasons. Usually trans people's reasoning to hate/belittle cis people are for justified reasons. Trans people don't kill, murder, rape, torture, etc. cis people because they're cis, in fact we don't do this at all when it comes to cis people!
Certain trans people dislike/hate cis people for reasons being: they're oppressors, there's a chance they could get beat up just by walking around a grocery store, there's literally laws trying to be fucking pass to kill trans people for a non-justified reason other than the fact we're transgender, they don't stand up for trans people, and so on and so forth. I personally don't hate let alone dislike cis people, but other trans people do, and it's not in my place to tell them what's wrong or right-- especially when trans women express their hatred.
Overall what I'm saying is cisphobia doesn't exist, if you ever see shit online like "trans person beats up cis person just because they're cis!! uwu!!" it's fake as Hell. Most of those articles/fake ass stories (such as one from foreverhonest on Tumblr,) are made to harass and belittle trans people, making us seem violent and bewildered. These are basics to sociology, look it up if you don't believe in me when it comes to understanding what's oppression and what isn't.
#7: Do small things to support us!
Seriously though-- from calling out on people's bullshit to making huge campaigns, we will seriously appreciate you! Small things like this add up, and further makes others want to contribute as well. Also donating to those who're trying to transition will also be neat. Just, don't be a jerk and help out, really. You'll make a huge difference and you may not have a clue how much you may change someone's life, or even every trans person's life.
Thank you for reading everyone, and have a wonderful day! Hit me up if you have any questions, I'm always willing to answer!