Sometimes we go through valleys where we don't see much of an end in sight. Even though you don't think God is with you, I can say from experience that He definitely is.
Don't get me wrong, I totally understand how you feel. I just want you to know that God never abandons anyone. Heck, I've thrown myself into even worse times by convincing myself that He isn't there.
I know it might be horrible advice, but sometimes we alljust need to say 'God, what's the deal? What's the purpose of this?' God wants us to be honest with Him and ask Him to get us through the hard times