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Ocean Aura

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Blog Entries posted by Ocean Aura

  1. Ocean Aura

    Entry 106

    By Ocean Aura,

    I'm still not comfortable around my family and they still treat me like a kid even though i'm trying to talk to them like an adult and my gender dysphoria is acting up more then normal
    and I just want to be the real me and it feels wrong that i have to hide the real me from my family.
  2. Ocean Aura

    Entry 105

    By Ocean Aura,

    I feel much better and Happier that I'm the real me and now i'll have to get clothes that are for the real me and i have been feeling this way as long as i can remember and my family will not accept the real me and they will disown me for being different and put the bible in my face.
  3. Ocean Aura

    Entry 104

    By Ocean Aura,

    It all started in 2018 I found a girl online and we started talking and then December 2018 we got in a relationship then she was getting weird things like she wanted to get married and at that point it was only 6 months and the distance was getting too much and I tried to sort it out but I had to end it then in June 2019 I thought we could try it again and it was fine then she started doing the same stuff again and she started asking questions like why is it taking so long to reply when it took me only 1 minute to reply and I was playing games and chatting with friends and she was saying “are you talking another girl then me” And I said to her I wasn’t and it took her almost 10min to 1hr and even a few days to reply to my messages and yesterday she tried to ask me to come back to her and I said no I just want to be friends only.
  4. Ocean Aura

    Entry 103

    By Ocean Aura,

    My family still annoy me and be rude to me and not even listen to what I have to say and my dad has threatened me a few times and my family think I’m being rude and my dad said if I’m going to be rude and not listen just find a place of your own and move out and I feel like my words mean nothing to my family and they keep treating me like a kid when I’m 29 years old in July this year.
  5. Ocean Aura

    Entry 102

    By Ocean Aura,

    My parents still think I should be looking for a girlfriend in Australia and I've told them so many times that I'm happy with my girlfriend and they don't like that she is with the latter day saints and I don't like how my parents bringing in religious stuff into every situation 
  6. Ocean Aura

    Entry 101

    By Ocean Aura,

    I've been with my boyfriend for just over 4 months and I still get random question in my head. ( Do I like girls only or both girls and boys? )
    I just don't want to loose my boyfriend cause of this issue.
  7. Ocean Aura

    Entry 100

    By Ocean Aura,

    My mood is acting up badly and I feel like I'm in a never ending loop of being depressed and not able to be the real me while my parents are religious and I live with them and I don't know why this is happening to me and it doesn't make sense why my life is like this when I only do good things in my life and all I get is bad apples and I don't know anymore.
  8. Ocean Aura

    Entry 99

    By Ocean Aura,

    I don’t know what to do anymore cause recently I was threatened and abused by a person who is a friend to my friend here in Australia and it happened on Facebook and I reported that person and delete my Facebook account cause I can’t take anymore of this bad stuff and then my friend here in Australia told me they are boyfriend and girlfriend and she started abusing me and threatening me and he started abusing me through her phone by text message so I told her our friendship is over and blocked her number
  9. Ocean Aura

    Entry 98

    By Ocean Aura,

    I still feel like I'm in a cage constricted on what I can do and my parents are getting angry at me for not going to church cause they think I'm loosing my way to God and every time I go to church I get depressed and get the shakes and my parents will not believe me they think it's the spirit that is doing it and I keep telling them it's something else and I don't like being forced into something I don't like and my parents think I shouldn't see a counselor cause my parents don't believe in them and want me to see a counselor with Christian belief and my mum constantly asking me who I'm talking to when I get a message on my phone.
  10. Ocean Aura

    Entry 97

    By Ocean Aura,

    I've chosen to try again with being transgender MTF and it's not easy to be myself when I live with my parents and if I buy a dress and my parents find it they might put it in the bin or worse put the Bible in my face and tell me it's wrong and might say if I get another dress I might be kicked me out on the streets.
  11. Ocean Aura

    Entry 96

    By Ocean Aura,

    My depression is getting worse and I don't know if my antidepressants are working and my parents are still pushing my buttons and I've tried nearly everything and my dad still thinks I can't live on my own and my sleeping patterns have been all over the place for too long now and I just recently become single again and I'm loosing more good friends and I got my ex-roommate spreading rumours about me and my dad still wants me to get rid of my MLP collection
  12. Ocean Aura

    Entry 95

    By Ocean Aura,

    I'm so happy cause I'm engaged to the one I love and can't wait to see them in person one day and now I got the fun job to find a engagement ring for them.
    *I dance all happy*
  15. Ocean Aura

    Entry 92

    By Ocean Aura,

    I'm still figuring myself out and i have been gay and then switch to being bi then gay again and then Trans and then bi and i might be Transgender again.
  16. Ocean Aura

    Entry 91

    By Ocean Aura,

    My life is getting worse cause of my real estate kicking me out of my place and now my grandpa passing away and my family disowning me for stupid things and now the church i went to will not help me anymore.
  17. Ocean Aura

    entry 90

    By Ocean Aura,

    There is too much going on in my life right now I can't cope with it all and I feel lost in what to do with my life and my family disowned and hate me plus the real estate at all the time.
  20. Ocean Aura

    entry 87

    By Ocean Aura,

    my IRL mother decided to put the bible in my face again about posting things on Facebook even if I block her on Facebook she will still call my phone number and if I change my phone number she still finds it.
  21. Ocean Aura

    Entry 86 (Life)

    By Ocean Aura,

    I feel like my life is in a never ending loop where I can't do anything right or correctly and nothing in my life has gone right so far and I just don't know what to do anymore and all I want to do is curl up on the couch and cry cause of what's been happening in my life and I feel hopeless at points in my life.
     
    This year alone I lost around 15 friends and I feel like I'm in a cage where I can't do anything and that's why I have been jumping on and off the MLP Forums.
     

    And I'm getting close to breaking point.
     
     
     

  22. Ocean Aura

    Entry 85

    By Ocean Aura,

    My year is getting worse here is a list why.
     
    1. My real estate is still blaming me for stuff and not respecting me by saying I'm making excuses for things
    2. some friends IRL are not talking to me and being disrespectful and other things.
    3. I broke up with my boyfriend on the 22nd of Jan this year.
    4. my parents still not trust me and respect me.
    5. And now I got no car.
  23. Ocean Aura

    Entry 84

    By Ocean Aura,

    Hello everypony I just want to apologize cause I feel like I'm bothering users here with my problems and making them feel bad for me and I just don't know what to do anymore cause of my problems and all I can do is cry in a chair and do nothing and I still can't get a job and I keep doing courses and I still can't get a job. :( :(
  25. Ocean Aura

    Entry 83 (bad day)

    By Ocean Aura,

    my real estate said i haven't been cleaning up and then she shows off by saying this "I work and i clean up a 5 bedroom house and i have a family and you can't use your depression as a excuse not to do the cleaning" I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE *I start to cry*
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