Randimaxis

@Denim&Venom @Mentis Soliloquy - @Lektra Bolt [WARNING:BIO LEVELS APPROACHING CRIT-] >*click*< Grant didn't want to hear that... so he turned it off. Her words had hurt - more than he cared to admit it. Here, he'd been pushing and fighting for the ideal of being a friend to Luster... and, her words, she considered him a fool. "... a fool?" His faceplates spun into a grim look. "Yeah... I guess I aaaaaaaaam a fool." His gaze then slid back to the war machine, and his legs extended enough to allow him to look her eye-to-sensor. "But it doesn't matter, Lus-Lus-Luster; it's not about ME, anyway. It's about Life, about the preservation of such... and, according to you, the destruction of it as well. You have a lot to say about human history... and I can't deny it. I WON'T deny it, because everyone isISis flawed in their beginnings. And, in comparison with the rest of the universe, humans are still in their infancy." "You made a lot of statements about certain examples in human history; allow me to addreeeeeeeeeess those first." "You ask where the good people were during humanity's darkest hours? Luster, THEY were the ones responsible for pulling humanity-ity-ty-y from the Dark Ages - the inventors, doctors, scientists and general philanthropists that ARE a part of humanity as well. I agree that atrocities happened... but there WERE people who stood up to them; you're just not looking past the event itself to find themthemthemthem." "The first world war was the result of an oppressive regime trying to control the rest of humanity - and they fought back, quelling the Axis powers and saving the innocent with their very-ery lives, in some cases. You would talk about the ones who were drafted, no doubt... but remember, there were a great number of people who straight-out enlisted. Some of these folks had families, businesses or other things they cherished... and it was their choice toTOto give those up, in favor of defending their people from tyranny." "The Nazis were ALSO stopped by the Allied forces, and the Jewish nation was saved from extinction by the actions of a worldwide effort to put an end to Hitler's genocide. Would you say that the hundreds of thousands who ffffffffffffffffought in those wars were foolish for standing up for what was right?" "The Second Civvie, the Grand Depression, even the Muslim fanatics - all of these, over the years, have all been laid to rest - or, in the case of terrorism, have been reduced to peace through a lack of resources. I never said humanity was flawless - in fac-ac-act, I've mentioned their flaws countless times..." Grant glanced over at Twilight. She's not gonna like where I go with this, he thought, but I have to match even with Luster if I want even the slightest chance at saving her... "... but since we're on the subject, let me make a few observations as well, then you tell ME if you still thinkthinkthinkthinthink I'm wrong." He now began to circle Luster, much as she had done to him, and the look on his faceplates was one of calmly smouldering anger. "If you bring up Hitler, then allow me to bring up his Equestrian counterpart... King Sombra." "A pony, corrupted and power-hungry, enslaving their entire race and making bids for enough power to rule all of Equestria? And wasn't it YOUR words that said that 'if people stepped up, there wouldn't be so much traaaaaaaaaaagedy'? Who stepped up to stop Sombra before he turned the Crystal Empire into his own slave factory? It seems as though ponykind and humanity DO share a few traits, after all..." "And about the nature of humankind be-be-be-being to fight? Really? Then answer me this - if it's in pony nature NOT to fight, then would you be so kind as to explain to me why Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, and didn't just approach her sister with her issues in a manner that would be much less painful? Because she felt slighted and hurt by her, she wanted to make her suffer for her pain... in fact, she wanted ALL of Equestria to suffer for what her sister haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad made her feel. How is THAT not wanting a confrontation?" He cast another glance at Twilight, one filled with regret... then, his face returned to its' former stern visage. "When you talk about the 'us vs. them' mentality, and claim it to be a HUMAN thing... then why would Princess Twilight have felt it necessary to try to STEAL the pearl from the hippogriffs? Would it possibly be because she-he-e felt it was 'for the better of ponykind'? Better for 'US'? Those words certainly don't sound like the ponies you've been talking about..." "Just as flawed and problematic as you claim humanity to be, I can see the same traits in ponies - perhaps not in the same manner, but DEFINITELY in the same vein. So don't try to ppppppppppppull the steel wool over my eyes, Luster; ponykind and humankind are simply two sides of the same coin, and if you're so biased that you honestly can't believe that, then your calculations are as flawed as your reasoning." [WARNING: BIO LEVELS APP-] >*click*< "And you say you hope I'd-I'd-I'd-I'd do the same when it comes between my loved ones and you... but Luster, I'd tryTRYtry to find a way to save BOTH first... which is what I'm doing right now, if you'd take a step back and realize it! I'm not so clear-cut-black-and-white that I can't see the grey in between, and you're acting as though anything other than complete, blind faith in your number-crunching is both wronnnnnnnnng and offensive." "You state you're worried about humanity encroaching on Equestria... well, wouldn't that mean that ponies would be coming to Earth, too? I mean, it'd be only logical-cal-al-l that, if humans are curious about ponykind (such as yours truly), then there has GOT to be ponies out there who would jump at the chance to come to our planet. And I'd let 'em... were it up to me, of course. But even if it isn't, I'm SURE there are enough gooooooooooood, decent folks in the world that they'd allow for such things." Twitch stopped, turned to look at both robot equines, then his faceplates simply conjured a small, sheepish smile. "Look, statistics and projections aside... numbers may not lie, but they CAN be falsely calculated, if the original data is erroneous. And your opinion of humanity seems to be stuck in the past - probably the general opinion from the time youYOUyou were first active, no doubt. Well, humanity has come a long way since then... and the changes we've made may not have been complete, but they've made HUGE strides in bringing humanity closer to the utopia I KNOW it's capable of." "You seem to be coming to your conclusions with the idea that humanity can NEVER change, and therefore must be ended to prevent a disaster. But just as scientific commonplace knowledge can become outdaaaaaaaaated with new discoveries, so can the outcomes of projected futures become stilted and inaccurate by a lack of input. And I'd wager you've had a screw up your charge-port about humans since you woke up up up, haven't you?" He stepped closer to Luster, either too dumb to know the danger or too involved to be afraid, and looked at her earnestly. "WHO is incapable of change? WHO is unable to factor anything but destruction? WHICH ONE OF UUUUUUUUS is screaming about murder, and which one is talking about saving lives?" The speaker stack gave a soft hum, and as Twitch's eyes flashed blue, the tower of sound behind him began to issue a haunting melody... "Luster... understand that, as a human IN Equestria, IF your calculations are correct... then even I am a threat to ponykind - especially in this chassis - and..." He took a shaky breath, then he slid his legs into a sturdy stance, waiting for whatever may come from his next words. "... a-and if you're serious about... about the total genocide of humanity... then..." His throat hitched; he still had to say it. "... then you ha-a-a-a-a-ave to start with ME, Luster." "Your calculations tell you that humans are EVIL... and if that's true, then it would only be a matter of time before I turned as well, and made my own bid to enslave or destroy Equestria. By the virtue of your own words, I can NOT be allowed to live here and be expected to NEVER become a threat... so you'll have to destroy me. If you want to end humanity to save ponies... if you honestly think that all humans are simply greedy, shameless and immoral beings... then I HAVE to be your first target." "But I'll go one further, Luster - to defy your opinion of humanity, I'll LET you destroy me." "I won't lift a hoof to stop you, if you feel it's necessary... and, if you feel that killing my entire race is the ONLY way toTOto ensure Equestria's future... then logic dictates that you need to destroy the most immediate threat first." A sliver of coolant rolled from the corner of Twitch's eye, and ran down his muzzle to drip off and onto the floor. "But I'm notNOTnot going to fight you. You're my friend. And if my friend wants me dead..." The blue lights in his eyes slowly shifted to a bright purple color. "... then do what you feel is RIGHT." Please, Luster... please hear me...

No, merely attempting to further explain how I see things; I admit I can be wrong about truths, but my opinion is just that. Not with a competent party around him, he wouldn't - but I get what you're implying. And that's what the rules are for - to define what you CAN get. I'm talking about the people who nitpick every tiny detail to the point where they're disrupting the game; general rules discussions happen, and checking the rules to see what you potentially have at your disposal is what many successful characters do. But when the rules get in the way of EVERYONE having fun, then it's acceptable (in my opinion) to put them aside for a moment and just do what you do. I'm NOT saying, 'eschew the rules completely, from start to finish'; I'm talking about an instance, maaaaaaaybe two. Per campaign arc. It's both, actually. A good roleplay usually consists of multiple people weaving a story between them and the DM, and your character interacts in that story. To define it as completely one or the other is being inaccurate, as it contains elements of both... or at least it should. Again, I'm NOT saying 'throw out the rules'; I'm saying it adds an element of the unexpected when it happens once in a while. As to trolls and acid, yeah - THAT kind of rule-dropping is a problem. If there's a REASON the trolls are immune (an evil wizard's ward, the acid was diluted by heavy rain, etc.), then that's acceptable. But just 'for no reason' with tiny, piddly stuff is the mark of an uncreative DM.

The choice belongs to the player; each of us has our own ideal character creation system, and my opinion is just that - my opinion. For what it's worth, I've played a game or two with powerful characters who have let the party have fun with them; those folks are awesomeness personified. However, I've also played in roughly 25+ games where some OP Mary Sue has spoiled the fun for everyone else - those are the ones I'm mentioning here. If you're one of those first powerful types, kudos - it's hard to do. But I find my story in my character's flaws. I use the idea of Frodo as an example: If he was a mage, or a capable & rich person, or just called that Roc in from the get-go? Well, the book would have been over reeeeeeeally quickly, and forget about any movies. However, Frodo had a list of flaws an orc's arm length long... and those flaws enriched his character so much. Overcoming them is, to me, one of the things that makes him stand apart from the rest of the heroes in the story; our escapism in this is presented as a challenge that, though difficult, can be won out by even the smallest of us. To win an ass-kicking contest is a great story... but it becomes EPIC if you only have one leg. What if that character's player had written up an amazing background, where he has such a reverence for said sword that each time he kills a foe with it, he feels as though he has restored some honor to his desecrated family name? Who knows? Perhaps he actually gets a random bonus to hit with this weapon, due to his specialties? Maybe the sword is actually an artifact in disguise already, and he just doesn't know it yet? Blatantly just tossing away a Vorpal weapon IS nuts, I agree... but if there's an actual reason for it, it enriches the campaign world by adding to the sub-plot - or maybe the main plot, in the long run - and making it feel as though the world around your characters isn't just flat cardboard. Admittedly, the tediousness of sitting there while other players chat with the shopkeep is a bit of a drag... and honestly, if it's holding up things THAT much, then dispense with it. Unnecessary interactions are slow poison to a game. However, if the whole group wants to do this, then it's their call. I happen to be someone who 'gets into' their character, yet I don't have to be IC the WHOLE time I'm at the table... usually, if others are RPing, I follow suit. Unless I see a unique opportunity to learn or do something special, I usually just give the DM a list of what I purchase, then move on to the story once more. I will say that some of the best lines I've ever heard in RPs are ones with origins in mundane roleplaying; it's funny how conversations can turn, y'know? You are correct. The rules are there as guidelines, printed so that they can be considered barriers as to what is and is not possible by not only the players, but of the game itself. They give finite limits as to what to expect, and for those who follow those rules, it's also a form of safety - you know that the rules state that you are safe within certain limits, and it leaves you free to ponder what can be done within the confines of the game realm. But rules don't cover everything. Sometimes, the unexpected happens... sometimes you get a lucky break, or the spirits decide to guide your party, or maybe the DM simply has to add a Deus Ex Machina to keep the game from utterly falling apart in front of them. Regardless of why, there are things that cannot be explained by the ruleset; written by humans, it's not designed to be a firm-set system at ALL times... when it's dramatically appropriate, an inexplicable mystery can make a grand story into one even better, that you tell for ages. Rules are important, yes - and I'm not saying otherwise. I'm simply stating that the folks who make an enormous deal out of every single little detail of the game are just as ridiculous and annoying as those who roleplay every single little moment... when used in TIGHT moderation, going beyond the rules can add a level of mystique and wonder that can make a campaign truly unforgettable.

Mushroom and black olive pizza.

Okay, so we're all a part of this great, big world, right? Each one of us merely a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things, yet our own existence is all we know... and so, we act accordingly and do what we can to improve our lot, catch up to and surpass our debts, and ally ourselves with many people in the process. Honestly, who has time for bad roleplayers? But, there are a number of archetypes in the RP realm who are seen as the spawn of a shoggoth, and are avoided like the plague once they're discovered for what they are. And it may take a while to spot them - some can hide in a game for YEARS before the ugly truth steps out of the shadows... This is what I am hoping to be a comprehensive list of many of the common types of BAD roleplayers out there, and perhaps a bit of insight as to their motivations and thoughts that brought them to such a lowly state. I also plan to give these different personifications funny names, as that should help lessen the blow to those folks out there who ARE these things and realize it while they're reading it. So, without further ado... or even further adon't... [#5: Squeaky Wheels ] "You all make your way to the top of the stairs, and you see the next chamber is filled with kobolds-" "Kobolds!? I don't have the right kind of weapon to deal with Kobolds! I'm at 17 hit points, and Torg drank the last healing potion three rounds ago! Why do you have to make it Kobolds? And why are there so many of them? You're putting too much on us! It's not fair!" "... oh, for cryin' out loud..." "Dude, c'mon - we're ALL hurt." "Yeah, but YOU guys are FIGHTERS - I'm just a ROGUE!" "Well, you picked it..." "But WHY do ROGUES have to BE so WEEEEEEEAK???" "... what a baby..." Squeaky Wheels are those players who seem to yell out, 'that's not fair!' at least twice per game; they believe that, if they pester the DM long enough, they can get rule changes, advantages and rewards for simply presenting themselves as weaker/lesser than the other characters. Mind you, they could have made a better character, or gotten themselves involved in something else, or they might have even tried to come up with a clever plan... but instead of these things, they would much rather wail and gnash their teeth than simply play the game as it is. DMs, listen closely: DO NOT ALLOW SQUEAKY WHEELS TO GET THEIR WAY. Mind you, if it's a legit issue (other PCs MASSIVELY overleveled or actual mistake on DM's part) then pay attention to it and deal with it properly... but when you actually give in to the infantile whines about how 'everyone else has it better than I do' and go easy on them... oh, honeychile... NOW you've set a precedent, and the Squeaker will now push EVEN HARDER to get that favoritism, because they got away with it before - so they can do it again. Or at least they honestly believe so. [Preferred Treatment: Ignore the whining, or inform them that they are sucking the fun out of the game and need to keep their whining to themselves.] [#4: Billy / Billie Badass ] "The town guard patrol comes to a stop right in front of you; seems they're searching for the culprits who stole the queen's favorite golden harp - you know, the one Divitz stole last night?" "Ohh, boy..." "But they're not hostile - in fact, they've heard of your adventures, and they want to know if you want to joi-" "I pull out my longsword and run the nearest guard through." "Wha-whu... what?" "Yeah - these guys ain't gonna catch ME!" "But there's EIGHT of them. And they think we DIDN'T do it. If we work this right, we can get away scott fre-" "Nope; killin' 'em." "DUDE!" "C'mon - they'll kill us all!" "No they won't - I'M KING SHIT OF TURD MOUNTAIN, BITCHES! If ya CAN'T KEEP UP, then you SHOULDA MADE A FIGHTER!" "... *sigh* roll for initiative..." These are the folks who don't think that there's any threat to their character's well-being - they charge into the fray, usually right in the center, screaming some inane battle cry or some such thing. They have it in their minds that they're about to open up a can of Whoop-Ass right then & there, and there will be blood on the blade tonight! The rest of the party? Pssssh, to HELL with them! This kind of roleplayer wants to get the glory - but they're willing to simply charge right into the heart of things, usually without a plan at all. They also tend to treat the rest of the group as negligible at best... at worst, they simply don't care if the others live or die, as long as THEY have fun. Carefully constructed plots, character background stories, helping a fellow PC in need - these are things that, to a Billy Badass, only 'slow them down' when it comes to showing off on the battlefield. [Preferred Treatment: Tell them they need to calm their actions down and work WITH the group... or they can go find another game to play.] [#3: Evil Weevil ] "Okay, you've knocked out & tied up the possessed innkeeper, and have stashed him next to his unconscious wife in their room; now you can start looking for the cursed sword that caused this trouble." "I'm checking the wall mounts for any ornamental swords on display." "I'll check behind the bar - might be there for defense purposes." "I sneak back while the rest of them are searching and slit the innkeeper's throat..." "What? WHY!?" "Dude - COME ON." "Hey, read my character sheet - it says, 'Neutral EVIL'. I gotta play evil." "But-" "And I kill the wife, too." "DUDE!" "Hey... 'EVIL', remember?" Playing an evil character in a good campaign can be fascinating, as the players get to witness how grey areas come to be, and how even the most heroic party can have its' bad seeds... but I'm not talking about those players. I'm talking about the ones who do all manner of things simply because they are evil. Evil should have reasons WHY they do what they do - villains of any worth have a plan (or at least a goal) in mind when they commit vile acts, and the ones who don't act with a plan at least have some form of sense behind what they do. To have a character who simply 'is what they are' is unimaginative, and tends to make the party feel awkward and harried, even if they don't do anything directly TO the PCs. For the record, the 'evil' PCs who simply 'do what they do' to to their own group? There's a SPECIAL level of Hell for you bastards. [Preferred Treatment: Explain that either they dial back the despicable acts a little bit, or they can make another character - with restrictions against anything evil.] [#2: Bookbob Rulepants ] "... and the dragon lets loose with a MASSIVE-" "STOP." "... what the Hell? WHAT!?" "According to the rules about dragons, here in section five, page 248, third column, it says that dragons have a cap on their breath weapon damage, and that anything this dragon could breathe on us would be a direct attack; there would be no 'massive' anything." "Look, I'm going for dramatic effect, here-" "Then get a bigger dragon; you told us this was a young adult, yes?" "Yes, I did. He-" "Then according to the rules, he should only be capable of letting out a jet of flame that is only 3 feet wide, and 16 feet long - like he's been doing the whole time." "BUT I'M RUNNING THE GAME!" "Well, I'd at least have hoped you'd know HOW to run it. I mean, your guide's right there..." "... can I backstab him?" "NO... I have a class multiplier that can negate the effects of a backstab; right here, in section two, page 87, fifth column..." When the DM is telling a story, the plot is ALL important. It even says in many rulebooks for games that IF the rules get in the way, then ignore them for the scene and move along. This leads to tales of fantasy and adventure that would have been stifled by rules that were supposed to represent how to deal with the normal stuff in adventures. The ABnormal stuff is the thing that happens when something unexplainable happens... when things just don't make sense... or when things happen that have no answer or apparently obvious reason. Life itself breaks rules all the time, and there's always going to be something that cannot be planned for, no matter how much you think you're ready. BB RP folks are the ones who will REFUSE to see anything capable outside of the given ruleset, and will step on a DM's creativity in a heartbeat. They feel the need to push on others that the RULES run the game, not the DM - and will force EVERYTHING that happens to be according to this rule or that. What's worse is when they won't back down, disrupting the game and raising a stink until they are satisfied that they have shuttered every window of mystique and wonder tightly, allowing ZERO room for imagination or embellishment. Rules are guidelines; when they become the ONLY things possible in a game, they become shackles to those who would be doing wondrous, fantastic things... if it wasn't for the killjoy with the rulebook over there. [Preferred Treatment: Show them where it says the DM's rules overshadow the ruleset - if they don't like it, tough.] [And finally, #1: MARY SUE ] "I'm HERE! NOW we can play! I brought Fennestri, my twentieth-level mage, twenty-first level priest, twenty-seventh level rogue and thirtieth-level fighter!" "Great... whatever. See ya later, everybody." "Wait... wha..?" "Yeah - I'm out." "But... b-but WHY?" "Because Fennestri SUCKS. She always gets the treasure, always wins the battle, always bests the enemy singlehandedly and..." "AND!? Isn't that AWESOMENESS PERSONIFIED!?!?" "Yeah... if you're Fennestri. See ya." Mary Sues are characters who are the BE-ALL, END-ALL, MOST POWAHFUL EVAAAAAAH... and they suck the fun out of a game for anyone who ISN'T them - including the DM. A Mary Sue is usually the creation of someone new to RPs, who doesn't know they can split several choices of neat stuff over multiple characters... and try to put it ALL into a single PC. When it's an honest gaffe, then it's okay - as long as they fix the problem points and make the character more flawed or not as powerful... ... then, there are the folks who actually roleplay with these abominations... and they think they're cool for doing it. Typically, if a Mary Sue can accomplish everything necessary to 'win' the game without help from anyone else (because they're so awesome, blah blah blah), then what are the other characters there for? I mean, they want to play too - not just watch someone else have all the fun. And if players aren't playing, then you'll lose players. Except for the Mary Sue; they'll browbeat you with their POWAAAAAH for as long as they can get away with forcing a DM to continue running a story with one in it. And trust me, if they find someone who ALLOWS them to do their Mary Sue thing? They become insufferable turds, and should be flushed with the morning poop as soon as possible before they begin to think it's okay to rule the game and make everyone their bitch. [Preferred Treatment: Point, laugh and say, 'okay, now let's make you a REAL character', and throw the Mary Sue sheet into the incinerator. ] Try to help change these players if you can, ignore them if you can't, and FOR LUNA'S SAKE, don't ever become one... and you should have a great time roleplaying.

@Blitz Boom @Hazard Time There was a flurry of activity, all at once. When the cart came careening into the quarry yard, a number of workers simply watched as it passed before realizing what was bound to happen, and making a ruckus to attract attention. A few tried to head for the carriage, but they hadn't even crossed the yard before it came to a stop scant inches before the loooooooooong fall past the edge. Mostly, they stared on - but more out of shock than any sort of laziness or lack of concern. Though Khosan would have been far more capable of stopping the runaway transport, it had been Jasper who had dashed out from where they'd been talking and headed for the trouble. It was only when he'd seen it stop that he slowed down, and came to a stop at the back end of the carriage, just slightly out of breath. Khosan, in the meantime, had followed like the wind, and came to a stop next to his employer - not a ragged breath or drop of sweat came from the zebra stallion. The other one who had made their way toward the cart was Chuck List, who had taken off at a breakneck speed from the mouth of the mine and had been more than halfway to his destination when there was no longer a reason to rush. He'd been carrying a rope in his mouth, but once he saw that all was good, he turned to go back to his post... then, he saw Jasper Cragg. Chuck's expression went cool and guarded. "Y'know ya ain't s'posed ta be heah, Jaspah." The businesspony looked up at Chuck and gave a tired grin. "And you know I probably don't care, Chuck." The forepony rolled his eyes and simply shook his head as he trotted his way over to the two mares that had exited the carriage. "Da twoayuz arrite, dere? Y'bettah be glad dat rock cot ya wheel, or you'd be adda bottom o' da mountains by now! Whaddinda world're you twoze doin' alla way out heah?" Dax gave a chuckle, then motioned for Key to follow him. It was comical; Dax was sneaking in an exaggerated manner, tippy-hoof stepping and everything. Though he played it off as though he was totally serious, Daxter knew what his brother's pranks could do to others, so he was making a stab at trying to cheer up Key - even if it didn't work, at least he tried his best. He led his guest down an opulent hallway to a pair of doors that led to a rather subdued study. Wandering over to a bookshelf, the Blackwater searched the titles until he grinned and removed one from the shelf. "Here it is! Now, I'll go get the sailor suit, and you take this to Miss Carnelian - then I'll just casually lay the outfit on the end table, and casually point it out to Mother once they both start talKing about Oggie's baby pics. Hopefully, the end result will be Mother sending for him, then letting him know she's been showing off pictures, then making him wear the outfit for Miss Carnelian. He might get mad, but he'll also know you won't take his abuse without retribution!" Dax giggled as he made his way to the door of the study. "I think I heard Mother in the kitchen; turn right out of here, then go to the hallway with the soft red walls - eighth door on the left." He snuck out, again overexaggerating his actions, like a goofy classic 'Keyhoof Cops' show. [Vylia & Carnelian will pick up when Key arrives.]

Hmmmmmm... Well, there are still instances of death having occurred in the MLP universe, but simply saying he caught a disease and died sounds... a bit terse and cold. Instead of: His mother would not relent and so this argument gave way to divorce. There was a furious court battle over which parent would get the foal, but eventually, the judge split the time 60-40. As they were readying to move out, his father caught a horrible disease. He died a week later. Try this: His Mother stood her ground, yet so did his Father - though both meant well, it eventually ended with the two separating, as they felt the constant strife would be too much for poor Lumi to handle. The young stallion spent time seeing them both, though more of this time was with his Mother than his Father, and it seemed as though this new way of life would be what Lumi would know... Until his Father passed away after a harsh battle with pneumonia. This gives the same 'sudden hammer' effect of the father's passing, but presents it in a way that sounds more reverent than dismissive. Little tricks like this can help a narrative sound more as though it's FELT rather than simply EXPERIENCED. Let me know if this helps, and send me a line when you've ironed out your editing. }:D

Okay... trying to figure out if there's still enough interest here to continue, or if I should reboot or not... or even just ending it all together. Since I'm NOT keen on the last option, what say you folks about the others?

Try writing a handful of short stories, no longer than a chapter - then, from those, see if any connections can be made between them, and try writing a short story that links them together. By doing this, you are exercising your mind through making smaller stories and connecting them - the act of making and linking things like this can possibly help you to not only better appreciate the story you're working on & help iron out kinks, but it might also help you by stockpiling material you can possibly use in later works. Plus, a break from the same manuscript every now and again can do wonders for the creative writer.

Sped

Hiya, Insight! Okay, so you've got a character together, and you're looking to get approved for the EqE. Great! All we need to do is take a looky-loo here, and see that everything's up to par. So, without further ado, let's get down to brass tacks. Hmmmmmmmm... His fur gleams in sun and seems darker in shadow or darkness. In any light some silver streaks appear in his fur and the brighter the light, the more his fur gleams, so if he is in direct sunlight, his fur shines with very bright light. If I may, I'd like to suggest an edit, here? The above seems like a run-on sentence, when it could actually be a bit neater by compressing the idea. Try this: His fur blends noticeably with the amount of light present; pitch black accents in darkness, and gleaming silver streaks in the sun. His fur seems to react to even the slightest amount of light, and direct sunlight makes him almost blinding. Instead of repeating the same words, try to make a sentence that gets the same concept across with as few uses of the same word as you can. A Thesaurus does wonders when writing, and can help you embellish any written work to be far more pleasing to the eye. However, since he never looses at chess, other ponies are sometimes annoyed by him, as they think he is trying to show off his skill and intelligence when all he really wants is to enjoy other ponies’s company. Instead of simply saying they're 'annoyed by him', it might be more accurate to talk about their displeasure at being beaten at chess; saying they were annoyed sounds like he was actively being annoying, but it seems like you're saying they simply get irked at his winning streak. Maybe that would be a better way to put it? Try this: However, other ponies have gotten upset with him in the past, due to his amazing skill at the game - they tend to believe he's simply showing off, when the truth is more that he is just that talented at it. He'd really rather have their company than simply another opponent to play. Dumb ponies, ponies bothering him while he is reading, dandelion sandwiches The second dislike could be summed up easier as 'being bothered while reading', as it probably wouldn't matter what race bothered him - he'd still be bothered. He was born in a small and modest house in Phillydelphia, given the name Lumi for sentimental purpose, even though it was an uncommon name. ... and what sentimental purpose is that? Remember, you're trying to display your OC - explaining the reason behind a name can give something for other players to ask about, helping them to find points to interact with your OC through. Asking about such a unique name should have some form of nebulous reason; take a moment to try to come up with a 'sentimental' reason that his parents would have connections with the name 'Lumi'. Ancestor's name? Favored grandparent? Special circumstance? Named by magical means? The possibilities are endless! During his schooling, his parents disagreed about how to raise him. His mother was pushing for more tutors and a better education, but his father worried that this would cause him to be turned away from what his father wanted him to be: a “normal colt”. His mother would not relent and so this argument gave way to divorce. There was a furious court battle over which parent would get the foal, but eventually, the judge split the time 60-40. As they were readying to move out, his father caught a horrible disease. He died a week later. ... wow... that's, um... a bit... grim. The EqE is a section that endeavors to keep roleplay as close to show canon as possible - and the kind of backstory you have here is a bit much for TV-Y. Now, don't worry - there's other ways to finagle a thing, and there could always be more acceptable reasons for things happening to Lumi as they have. Remember that acceptance and tolerance are Celestia's buzzwords with the ponies of Equestria, and I'm not certain if Lumi's father would be so driven to push for 'normal' in such a society as the one the ponies have. However, disagreements as to how to raise a foal can happen - and that isn't an issue. However... 'divorce' is. We've never seen an instance of it in the show, therefore we can't simply say it happens like it does here on Earth. Furthermore, there's also no court that I've seen, so it would stand to reason that Divorce Court isn't a thing, either - and again, messy legal battles leave the realm of TV-Y, so we can't really have it that way... though, in the instances above, I'm more than willing to help you try to come up with alternatives you would be willing to accept. They were married in the local pleasure garden. ... ah, eh... heh, heh... why don't we just say, 'They were married in the city park, surrounded by flowers.' 'Pleasure garden' sounds too much like a-... ummm... y-yeah, just take my word for it. There are a few instances of word repetition here and there, but all in all, Lumi seems like a nifty character. As soon as you impliment some of the changes I mentioned, we can talk about what else we can do to get Lumi into the EqE.

Two-Muzzle

Sadness is just as cleansing as happiness, when viewed correctly. Being of a melancholy mindset isn't a bad thing - there have been a few times I've just sat back and felt low, but not depressed. Personally, I have a music playlist that has a number of vaguely sad songs, and it puts me in just the right mindset to simply sit and perhaps reminisce about an old friend that turned me away... or that one girl in school I thought was beautiful, but she thought I was 'dorkbait' and nothing more... or how much I miss my Mom, who passed away years ago. The ache of sadness can sometimes substitute the blades others cut themselves with; a stimulation of the emotions, just to reassure yourself that you're alive. There's nothing desperate or depressing about it - it's just bittersweet. But sometimes, it's the bitter grapes that make the tastiest wine. I get it, @An Admirer.

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Awwwww, shucks... *blush* It kinda does, but only my hairdresser and I know the truth. (Much thankies!) I am a ridiculously HUGE fan of the name @Derplight Sperkle... most because I can make my daughter howl with laughter by looking at her and saying, "Derplight SHPERRRRR-kle"! And I also love @Widdershins, because it's an archaic word that means, "in a direction contrary to the sun's course, considered as unlucky; counterclockwise", which is pretty nifty, I think. OH! And don't let me forget @Denim&Venom, as the words just sound damned GREAT together! Say it, it's FUN!

Unfortunately, the images problem is on OUR end... and our tech staff is so overworked right now, it sorta falls down to 'fix when we have time'; perhaps once it's fixed, I'll go back and do the work to add the pic in, myself. But for now, we'll just have to work it out as we can. My sincerest apologies. By the way, I reworked your picture a little bit - if you like, you can use this. I was simply influenced, and decided to do it... simply because I could. I hope it's well-received. Otherwise, do you feel like this OC is ready to go?

Like a tarnished brass lantern in the corner of an old, abandoned attic. ... ... ... but it'll pass, I know it.