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Whiteshade

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Blog Entries posted by Whiteshade

  1. Whiteshade

    Thank You & Goodbye

    By Whiteshade,

    After 168 years, we finally say a sad but very proud farewell to our 7.5m loyal readers.
    Teatime Tirades, the world's greatest blog 1843-2011 2012.
     
    Our parent company is pissed, so they ragequit like the noobs they are. Also any allegations of corruption, negligence, and wrongdoing is unjustified and fabricated slander, and will be dealt with per the legal system.
     
    How did we fail? Quite simply we lost our way. We praised high standards, we demanded high standards but, as we are now only too painfully aware, for a period of a few years up to 2006 2012 some who worked for us, or in our name, fell shamefully short of those standards. There is no justification for this appalling wrongdoing. No justification for the pain caused to victims, nor for the deep stain it has left on a great history. Yet when this outrage has been atoned, we hope history will eventually judge us on all our years.
     
    I want to pay tribute to this wonderful team of people here who after a really difficult day have produced a brilliantly professional blog. As I said to the staff this morning, this is not where we wanted to be or where we deserve to be. But as a final tribute to 7.5 million readers, this is for you and for the staff. Thank you.
     
    I'm rendering this blog inactive until the next time I happen to post in it.
     
    Good day,
    ~Whiteshade, Chief Executive Officer of Whiteshade LLC Media Cabal
  2. Whiteshade
    Third Quarter profits for blog "Teatime Tirades" has fallen 58%. With this in mind, the board of directors, and the chairman of the board, Whiteshade, have decided to opt out of the current business model for a new strategy.
     
    We feel compelled to reveal this new strategy to you, the shareholders, and seek your majority approval on the future of this venture.
     
    The Previous Model:
    The previous model on "Teatime Tirades" was predominantly off color and black humor, combined with highly potent silliness, and most importantly, veiled insults that were aimed to decrease the overall intelligence of the audience to create more viewership. However, the demographics for this sector have changed, and increasingly, competitors are creating more serious and long winded blog entries. These entries have consistently ebbed away at our viewership, only more exacerbated by the absence of the publisher, Whiteshade, for two weeks in late August. As a result, third quarter results are dismal, and the board of directors are currently evaluating new strategies.
     
    The New Model:
    The new model is a revolutionary one that we, Whiteshade LLC, believe will shake up, blow up, destroy, decimate, raze, and nuke the competition. In short, we are very confident in this strategy. The new strategy will consist of injecting steroids into the blog "Teatime Tirades" on a weekly basis. This we believe will make the blog more alert, and as well more Hulkish when engaging competing blogs. There is a proverb from ancient times: "Violence solves everything". We here at Whiteshade LLC adhere to that philosophy. Anyways, by injecting steroids into the blog, we can basically transform it to a de facto death lotus, alluring hordes of competitors, then destroying them all in a single circular fell swoop. This model we believe will help significantly in the fourth quarter, and so we ask you, the shareholders, so approve this model at the next shareholder's meeting.
     
    From Whteshade LLC with love,
    ~Whiteshade, Tyrant of the Masses
  3. Whiteshade
    Look at this:
    http://mlpforums.com/blog/69/entry-754-a-matter-of-the-utmost-importance/
    Then look at this:
    http://mlpforums.com/blog/24/entry-831-next-topic/
     
    My intellectual property has been stolen! It is explicitly stated in the fine print that all blog entries in blog "Teatime Tirades" is property of Whiteshade LLC, and may not be reproduced or mimicked without the express written consent of Whiteshade LLC. This is an outrage! Cease and desist at once, or face legal ramifications!
     
    A friendly reminder from your attorney,
    ~Whiteshade, I will fuck you in court
  4. Whiteshade

    PENTAKILL

    By Whiteshade,

    http://www.leaguereplays.com/replays/match/2082192/
     
    I got a penta playtesting Kayle for like the second time ever. Second time ever, you'd think I would already have a couple with my mains, but nope, best ive got was a Quadra with Soraka, Veig, Tristana, and some others I forgot about. Q+E = win game
     
    Also to those who don't know, I'm talking about League of Legends, I think I made an introduction entry about it a decade back, so you can stalk me and dig up that entry to read up on it.
     
    Totally MLG,
    ~Whiteshade, Expert Button Spammer
  6. Whiteshade

    Aliens

    By Whiteshade,

    So an entry about aliens...
     
    Hmm, I think this has aliens in it
    http://www.kongregate.com/games/BerzerkStudio/gunbot?acomplete=gunbot
     
    Close_enough.jpg
     
    See? I always listen to my viewers and look out for their interests. Aren't I such a nice guy?
     
    Signoff is Haiku
    Second line, um, Rainbow Dash
    She is best pony
    ~Whiteshade, Minister of Culture for Osaka Prefecture
  7. Whiteshade
    Are you ready? Of course you're not ready!
     
    Well here it comes...
     
    What should I write about? I have no clue really. Yes, I just made an entire entry about how I don't have anything for further entries. Too legit to quit.
     
    Also, some facts about my life.
    - I am hungry right now
    - I am bored right now
    - I am incredibly livid right now because I just got stonewalled on an important matter
     
    Some simple facts so you can get to know me better.
     
    Running out of closings for this signoff,
    ~Whiteshade, Paragon of Morality, Inventor of the God Complex, An Awesome Dude, Your Father
  8. Whiteshade

    Lawl, u died

    By Whiteshade,

    This blog. It died. This user, he died too. He is ghost now. If you are reading this he is haunting you. He is also has a cattle prod for whenever you speak in less than 100 characters, to uphold sadism human integrity. Also, he is speaking in the third person, because it's an really bad habit he got from Trixie, whom he dramatically broke up after finding out she embezzled all his funds on cider and many Twilight Sparkle plushies. He grammar is also slightly worse now, because it side effect of dying, don't ask why. Now, he is proposing a deal, so listen up or the prod will coming out.
     
    Relevant:

     
    You will read this blog. You will give me all your wat. You will realize he switched to second person speaking, and that he no longer make grammatical errors. You will be more confused. You are thinking "this guy is just being random, there is no deal". Then, you will feel like an idiot to have ever doubted his cunning intellect. Then, you will feel immense regret and mourn for him. Then, and only then, will his ghost stop haunting you. His ghost will instead invite you to a tea party because he will think you are a "smashing old/young chap/madam", and you will accept that invite, and a world known as Equestria will be created.
     
    You will accept and oblige by all the terms of the proposal.
     
    In all seriousness, I went inactive, and I'm less inactive now. But good thing I have my
    ! 
    This blog is back to business, so it can go bankrupt a second time. Look forward to it.
  10. Whiteshade

    Competition

    By Whiteshade,

    I just realized my blog is not popular compared to others. I could have never expected this, and this comes as a great shock to me, the greatest man to ever exist. However, since I am courageous and perseverant (spellcheck says perserverant is not a word but obviously it is just jelly that I invented a word it doesn't know) and all that stuff, I will stand unfazed by this development (even though I am totally shocked). I will rise to the occasion, and bring down all of my competitor's blogs in flame! Lovely, lovely FLAMES! AHAHAHAH But I do digress.
     
    Hence, a new policy will be adopted. It's called "shameless advertising", and as a propagandist, I can testify to the kitten saving powers of this groundbreaking technology. It is no doubt the most moral thing you can ever do, and even Jesus used this tactic, resulting in free wine being made and distributed to the alcoholic bums thankful poor. Also my competitors use this tactic as well, but if you know me, you know that I will take this to an entirely different level and league. I will personally stamp an ad for my blog on Feld0's forehead, you got that? FELD0'S FOREHEAD. That's how far I'm going.
     
    So without further ado, let the games begin,
  12. Whiteshade
    Cleaning up for university, selling assets, taking bribes, establishing connections, handling assets, you know, busy busy day for me. So I clean up, and I found this thingy all the way back from grade 7, when I was 12. Note this is word for word and I'm not correcting any grammar or adjusting my weaksauce analogies. So let's begin:
     
    "Fear is usually described as being afraid of something. However, I think fear has more than that and is different for everyone. Everyone has different fears and I think that some are picked up through personal experiences. You fear something probably if you find it repulsive, frightening, or dangerous. People also fear for others, like a child or friend.
     
    You might conquer a fear with knowledge. If you think you will die of an animal, then find out its totally harmless, that pretty much takes care of it. It could also work backwards, like if you found out your favorite food had 6 grams of toxins per 12 grams, you would probably never touch it again. I know nothing about diabetes, but someone else could be trying to run from it like terrorists were chasing him or something.
     
    Another way to conquer fears is to face it. This is probably the best way. Once you face it you're pretty much successful. It takes courage to do this and you might endanger yourself doing it.
     
    The third way is to live with it. Once you embrace your fear it becomes a fact. However, there is a serious flaw. If you feared being stupid, you can't just accept that. Also, with diseases, you can't just embrace it. You have to face it and take action. However, this way could work. If you feared your nationality, you have to accept it and ignore others therefore creating national pride and self-respect.
     
    There are outside influences, but ultimately, the person creates the fear, and therefore, the person conquers it. There are a lot of influences that allows the person to create fear. War, for example, will strongly influence people to panic. I say influence because people can choose not to panic and leaders should have these qualities. Discrimination can also really hurt a person sometimes as bad as bombs and bullets, but, in the end, the person can choose not to fear, and has no reason to fear with national pride.
     
    Fear wouldn't have all bad qualities. If you fear for another person, it will encourage you to act. When something you value is attacked, thsi forces you to act. When a relative dies, it could change your life, but sometimes for the better. It reminds you that you should take action."
     
    FIN
     
    ~Whiteshade
  13. Whiteshade
    My Blog: 143 views
     
    Entry 1: 14 views
    Entry 2: 25 views
    Entry 3: 32 views
    Entry 4: 18 views
     
    This counter seems legit.
     
    So what is in store today? You ask. Well to answer that question, I have no idea. No seriously, I have no topic here. Don't worry though, when this happens, I always have a contingency plan in place. Let's talk about how awesome I am and how clearly I lead a very interesting a popular life and I blog about my life and feed the unsuspecting plebs with my sheer win. I am not sure if the last sentence was grammatically correct but I do digress.
     
    Introducing......... Whiteshade's university misadventures!
    So today, right, I went out right, and I went out to buy stuff right, and you know, we drove like the car right, and we got onto the highway right, and then like there were these other cars right
    So today I went shopping for university...ish stuffs. Specifically, I bought a table, bacon, ice cream, moar bacon, some pots, clothing, ice cream again, concentrated military grade caffeine, 5.6 metric tons of Adderall, and a pair of shoes. Pretty average day, nothing remarkable. To be honest, I'm pretty bored, hence me writing this. Hopefully things will pick up once I'm actually in university. So amuse me, and answer this question:
     
    What did you buy (through legal means) for back to school/university?
  14. Whiteshade

    Bwahahahah

    By Whiteshade,

    So if you don't know me well, you wouldn't know that I have an interest in politics. Shame on you, you must know me better! Anyways, our chaotic neighbors to the south are gearing up for not one, but two disasters. One is Hurricane Issac, and its expected to hit some state that always gets hit with hurricane stuff Louisiana, whilst the other disaster is unfolding in Tampa, the Republican National Convention. So, from what I'm seeing, the whole point of the convention is to provide a pedestal for the honorable, gracious, benevolent, insert positive adjective here, King Sir Doctor CEO CFO Chairman of the Board President General Manager Mitt Romney. As a secondary objective, the convention serves to spit on that black guy. Incredibly amusing, and also amusing how large amounts of voters still support Republicans given their platform. Sweet logic trumps sound logic, I guess. Personally, I think that politics, especially American politics, is the 4chan of irl, and even with that comparison, I just handily and brutally insulted 4chan right there, so I apologize.
     
    Also, a bonus story from Canada. Of course America can't monopolize the lols, so read the bonus as well.
  15. Whiteshade

    League of Legends

    By Whiteshade,

    So..............
     
    Ya heard of it?
    It's a game (ikr?) that consists of stuff and where you do things and win stuff. Teams are of 5, and the teams compete to see who can better swagwalk to the enemy base and one shot it while eating cake simultaneously. There are three routes: top for nubs, bot for nubs, and mid for everyone who was ever worth anything in life. Oh in most games there is also a jungler, who kills random stuff but doesn't really do anything unless you rage at him.
     
    *Description of game may be dramatized
     
    Anyways, if you've never played the game or foolishly believe that Garen is actually a viable champion for any purpose, then that's ok as well, since the LoL community is one of the nicest, and will always accept and lovingly treat noobs and those new to the game with understanding and patience. Also because Riot, the company that made LoL, knows that you're dirt poor but most likely willing to spend every one of your pennies on the game nevertheless, they introduce 10 free champions every week to play, to maximize addiction gameplay experience.
     
    Anyways, after my rousing speech I bet you are just dying to play, but like the noob you are, have no idea how to or are so incredibly lazy you can't even google "league of legends". Stop being lazy ffs. No matter, I will give you a link:
    http://na.leagueoflegends.com/
     
    All you have to do is make an account, download the game, shred your soul into millions of miserable pieces as dictated by the terms of service. Then you are directed to a tutorial, which of course you can utterly disregard like the majority of players, because rejecting tutorials and subsequently sucking at the game is no doubt an indicator of unparalleled swag. Then you can play actual games, versus other people, or versus AI, which is of a higher skill level than the majority of the people, mostly due to tutorial skipping and porn downloads causing lag. As well, you have the option of not only failing individually, but also collectively, by inviting your friends into the game.
     
    Anyways, if you want to add or refer me, its SunlitVoid, on both NA and EuW servers. I most likely won't know who you are but pretend I totally do, so if it gets more awkward than I intend it to be, you'll know why. You can also check the MLPforums League of Legends thread out, but you can find that on your own, since you lurk more than me.
     
    Signoff of most magnificent proportions, by a man of most impressive gallantry,
    ~Whiteshade, Head Kitten Rescuer of MLPforums
  16. Whiteshade

    Operation Start!

    By Whiteshade,

    So I'm supposed to be retired from the forums. So why am I writing this? Am I being hypocritical? No, that's impossible unless I actually perceived myself as hypocritical, and I have no reason to conclude that a logical critic seemingly smarter than myself such as you can ever exist, hence you must be non-existent. But I do digress.
     
    On to the topic at hand:
    There is no topic really. I'm just doing this out of boredom. Have some awesome:

     
    While you're distracted by that, excuse me as I quickly search up other user's blogs, steal their ideas, and import it into this one, the Apple business model in a nutshell, except I myself am typing this, rather than a Chinese migrant worker. Seems you can't ever have everything...
     
    Anyways, just wanted to say hi, so hi.
     
    Sign off thingy,
    ~Whiteshade
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