Uploader Description
I am the very model of a modern Major General
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the Kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical;
I’m very well acquainted too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I’m teaming with a lot o’ news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.I’m very good at integral and differential calculus;I know the scientific names beings animalculousIn short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineralI am the very model of a modern Major General.I know our mythic history, King Arthur and Sir Caradoc’sI answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for paradox,I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of HeliogabalusIn conics I can floor peculiarities parabolas;I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,I know the croaking chorus from The Frog of Aristophanies!Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music din afore,And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense PinaforeThen I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiformAnd tell you every detail of a Caractacus’ uniform;In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineralI am the very model of a modern Major General.In fact I know what is meant by "ma-melon" and "ravel-in"When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelinWhen such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at,And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat".When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery;In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy,You’ll say a better Major General has never sat-a-gee.For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury,Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineralI am the very model of a modern Major General!