Twiggy
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Status Updates posted by Twiggy
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It is May 2020. Everything in America is shut down as the quarantine stays in effect, all except for restaurants. A lone UberEats driver ventures into the abandoned wasteland, risking his life to deliver two Taco Bell Chalupas and a Baja Blast.
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Just bought 200 rolls of toilet paper. I've no need for it, I just wanted others not to have it.
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I regret to inform you all that the Chinese are at it again.
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With my ultimate blackpilling finally complete, I retreat back into my comfy world of adorable thermonuclear waifus.
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1.5 trillion dollars for a Wall Street bailout. That's a 13 digit number. Let me write it out properly.
$1,500,000,000,000.
That much going to banks instead of testing kits and health care.
I've made some posts about imperialism in jest before. They are no longer in jest. I renounce libertarianism in it's entirety. What we need is a Caesar to cross the Potomac in order to unfuck things.
#ImperialGang
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Where were you when Keemstar was promoted from YouTube Jerry Springer to Prophet of the End Times?
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"This coronavirus is really not that big a deal. Wait, what? Tom Hanks has the virus? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT THE CELEBRITIES NOOOOOOOOO!!!"
I really, REALLY hate people.
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Cool, it gets worse.
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Jesus Christ. Joe Biden just executed Bernie Sanders. Press F to pay respects.
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Oof
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They said I was stupid for not investing my savings. They laughed at me. Who's laughing now, stockcucks? Not even shitposting. This market has been held aloft and inflated by the Federal Reserve by pumping it full of it's fiat funbux. It's exactly like the housing bubble back in 2007, but this time its everything. IT'S THE EVERYTHING BUBBLE AND IT'S FUCKING POPPING LETS GO BOYS!!!
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Half of Twitter: "Stop calling it Wuhan virus, that's racist."
The other half of Twitter: "Everybody was kung flu fighting, it spread as fast as lightning."
Can't wait to see how it escalates from here.
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I feel like a dick about laughing at Joe Biden now because it seems like he might be in the early stages of dementia for real. I know, Trump fucks up when speaking sometimes, but with Joe its seems like its every time he speaks. I used to help out around the nursing home that my granddad spent his final days in, and I've seen a lot of it. This looks kinda like that.
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@Yoshi89 The thing that made me think it might be dementia the most was the "Obiden-Bama Democrat" comment. Mixing up words almost like dyslexia is a big sign that one's brain might be slipping. After that, if you look closely occasionally he will get this confused look for just a second like he doen't know what's going on. I'm not a mental health expert so I can't say for sure. Maybe this is some quirky thing about him that we never noticed cause we were always focused on President Obama. But it makes me think that he needs to be examined, and actually makes me worry for the dude. Having your brain quit before your body is a real type of existential horror imo. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
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ME: (buying 15 boxes of dxm cough syrup at CVS)
CASHIER: Good idea stocking up for the coronavirus outbreak before we run out.
ME: Stocking up for what now?
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I'm bored of Democracy now. #ImperialGang
