Batbrony

TIME FOR A LAST DITCH EFFORT FOR THE GOOD DOCTOR! WE NEED THREE VOTES TO PUSH HIM INTO FIRST PLACE YA'LL, C'MON, LET'S SEE THE FAN FAVORITE TIME-TRAVELING HORSE UPEND THE ONE-TIME VILLAIN!!!

I don't understand what's happening! Huh? How in the hay is my beloved Doctor struggling against a... whatever that Tantabus-thing is?! I don't know mom, these moo-hams have proven already that they have weird tastes. Well let's change those tastes starting now... c'mon everypo-... er, every-moo-ham, please vote for my beloved Doctor and my sweet little Dinky! They're both super awesome and talented and deserve to help save the world. Soooooooooooooooooo... pretty pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Pretty please? Really? That's what you're going with. OK fine. Vote for both of them and get them to the final teams, and I'll bake you all as many muffins as you want! Oh wow, you are taking this seriously! Well, you heard her folks, ya wanna vote for my dad and lil' sis, go right ahead, it sure would be cool getting to compete with my whole family... that is of course assuming I get through as well. Oh I'm sure you will, sweetie. Now then, VOTE DINKY AND VOTE THE DOCTOR, PART OF THE CUTEST FAMILY IN EQUESTRIA!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, that was a most satisfying meal. Anyway, now that we're back, what did I miss? Not much, just a whole city of ponies rioting. That... doesn't sound like not much. Why are you being so nonchalant about that? Oh my bad, that had nothing to do with the contest. It's Fillydelphia, knowing them they're rioting over some giant sporting event or something. A... dream-world/chaos-world Fillydelphia is rioting over a sporting event? Hey, I don't make the rules, and if we're being honest we've seen far stranger than that during our time here. Fair enough. So who won? Well we backed Sassy Saddles and Big Mac, and they did just fine, but goodness gracious does Nurse Redheart have some fans out there or what! We thought for sure Roseluck would be far more likely to get more than her. Pffffttttt, well of course she has fans, she's got that sexy nurse get-up after all. Hard to top the sexy nurse look. CLOUD! I'm just saying! So who do ya'll like today. Hmmmmmm... odd round... I know, Apple Bloom! OK I know this is hardly the first foal or colt who's been backed in this contest, but does anyone else find it kinda bucked up that we're supporting the notion of putting the fate of the world and all reality, in part, in the hooves of some kids? I don't know, seems to happen in movies and TV all the time. THAT'S NOT A VALID JUSTIFICATION!!! I'll have you know, Star, that us smaller ponies are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, as well as doing things you smelly big ponies can't! Like what? And that smelly remark was totally uncalled for. Well, we can sneak around in tight spaces... hide in tight spaces... and... uh... Don't hurt yourself overthinking it, that's good enough. Next, I guess Cheerilee seems like a pretty good choice out of this lot. Especially if a foal gets voted in to, they could use a responsible adult to watch after her. Now that makes far more sense. OK, last spot, who we wanna give it to. FLUFFLEPUFF!!!!!! *squee* Who? You know, Flufflepuff. *squee* No, I don't. I don't think I've ever seen a pony as fluffy as her around town. Mom, c'mon, Mrs. Cake's in that group and you've known her for years! Oh I know, but c'mon, look at her! She may be new, but she's so so so cute and fluffy and... *squee* I just wanna huggle her all day long! Would you stop squeeing. And fine, we'll float for... Flufflepuff, I guess. Man this was a weird round.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... what the hay happened? I... don't honestly know. Why won't my head stop spinning? Are you idiots done? Done with what? You, Shining, and Daring have been beating the shit out of each other since your round started (and ended) over a week ago. It's been like watching a really bad shōnen anime, only a lot dumber. What exactly happened? Well first Shining insinuated that Derpy wasn't qualified to make the team on account of her eyes and that Daring shouldn't because an imaginary character shouldn't in principle be on the team and he didn't trust she'd be clutch when it mattered most. That led to Daring saying something REALLY rude about Shining's mom and Derpy slugging him while he was recovering from the shock of what Daring said. So that's why my face is numb. Then Daring made matters even worse when she suggested that Derpy shouldn't go on since she has two kids to worry about, which Derpy took as an insult as well and led her to challenging Daring to an Iron Pony competition. Huh? We didn't actually do that, did we? Oh yes you did. Horse feathers. So you guys did the usual Iron Pony events - and once Shining woke up he joined in - and that led to absolutely no solid conclusions and affected the voting in no way whatsoever. Hold on... Iron Pony competitions don't take that long. No... they do not. You guys didn't stop there. Crap. What did we do? What didn't you do? An essay-writing contest, a spelling bee, mixed martial arts, a muffin-baking contest, a muffin-eating contest, flamenco dancing, archery, skydiving, Greco-Roman wrestling, flaming-javelin tossing, go-cart racing, a very confusing beauty pageant, and for some reason a haiku contest. Oh, and let's not forget the four variations of drinking contests you threw in there. Oh, that explains the headache. Nah, that might also be from when Daring hit you across the face with a loaded book-bag. Oops. So uh... what happened? Oh you won. You and Vinyl, that is. Me, Photo Finish, Daring Do, and Shining Armor are in the Wild Card. YAY! I'm so proud of you, Star! You should really be proud that I didn't get into the idiocy you three got up to. That too... So... what else did we miss? Let's see... Mayor Mare and Rainbow Dash took the next round (Dinky was VERY upset that Pipsqueak didn't win). Lyra and Pinkie's sister, Maud, won after that, and the next day Minuette and that bipedal cat, Capper won their round. And Sunset Shimmer, Sweetie Belle, Bon Bon, and Somnambula won the last two. Oh wow, so many of our friends are getting in, that's awesome- ow, OK, don't talk so loud, head still hurts... so who're we going for today? Well... we got a bit of an awkward situation. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The buck? Of all the ponies we had to face, OF COURSE FATE WOULD POSE US AGAINST OUR EVIL PERSONA!!!!! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE??? A POX BE UPON YOU, OH WICKED REALM WE'VE BEEN CAST INTO! Princess Luna? What's wrong? Ah, Derpy, perfect, just the mare we were looking for. It's an outrage, I tell you, simply an outrage. What is? Also, indoor voice please, my head is killing me from... well, Celestia only knows what I drank. Whatever cruel being set these rounds up has set me up against my darkest incarnation, the fell creature known as Nightmare Moon. Oh... well that is a problem. Wow, that's bucking weird, that'd be like me competing against my Batmare persona. Yeah, or me competing against A.K. Yearling. Why would you competing against the author of your book be like that at all? Also, how the hell do you know you have an author who created you? Uh... MAGIC! Derpy, we call upon you for assistance! You have lent us much aid in the past and we would be honored and ever so grateful to get more from you now. Oh of course, princess, it'd be our pleasure. I don't know... Princess Luna may be hotter but I'm pretty sure Nightmare Moon's far kinkier. Cloud, NO! May I remind you that we are the Princess of the Night. There is no corner of the night and all that happens in it that we are not intimately familiar with. And I do mean NO corner. You make a valid point... everypony, vote for Princess Sexy-Times! I refuse to call her that, but fine. So who else should we be pulling for? Well pairing Princess Luna with Nightmare Moon is probably a really bad idea - I just get the feeling they wouldn't get along all that well - but Pinkie seems like the obvious choice. As for the Wild Card spot, I still really don't like the idea of Nightmare Moon getting on the same team as Luna, so let's see who else we got here. A whole lot of ponies I don't know, a stoner, a cherry farmer, Ponyville's vet, and, OOOO, hey princess, your pet's in here! *gasp* He is! LOYAL SUBJECTS, VOTE FOR OUR BELOVED POSSUM OF THE NIGHT, SIR TIBBLES!!!!!!!! You heard her, everypony! Vote Tiberius!!!!!!!! So we're just gonna pretend that you didn't just spend over a week doing some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen with an imaginary character and the prince of the Crystal Empire. Oh no no no no no, Star, we're not gonna pretend it didn't happen. We're just gonna repress that memory HARD. Bury it deep down, and forget it EVER HAPPENED. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get something to eat. Right behind ya, ya crazy mailmare.