Hazard Time

Low blushed at the compliment before clearing his throat. "I was not aware of the circumstances, but I have most certainly enjoyed his friendship thus far, even if it has cost me something." "If only I did not get the feeling that I have made a powerful enemy." Low shivered, dreading the vengeance that was about to come. He could only hope that it was as private as the bucket of tomato juice above his door. If it was something more public...was it possible to die of embarrassment on the spot? He hoped that was a thing. "I-I-I would greatly appreciate that, please. Let us take the scenic route." With any luck, that would make it harder for any angry young colts to trail him. ------------------------------ "You assume that this reading applied entirely to us?" Though her voice contained the remnants of her nervousness, that was beginning to fade away as she allowed a small smile to part her lips. He might still be coming on strong, but he wasn't pressing her. If anything, she was almost starting to feel...warm? Was that the adjective to use? Perhaps it was her blood pressure, but there was no denying that she was starting to enjoy this. Did he have anything more for her? Could she get a few more of those complements? Perhaps a touch? Dahlia leaned forward, her hooves reaching towards the middle of the table. "Knee Slapper, you've barely known me for a few minutes. Just what makes you think I am beautiful and intelligent?" Please take the bait, please take the bait...

FYI, I have finals this week, not to mention I've been feeling a little under the weather, so my response may not be until Friday evening or the weekend.

You'll have to excuse me, since I usually only read the posts addressed to me and ignore the rest in order to prevent metagaming on my end. After reading it, though...it is certainly a curious occurrence.

I don't have an idea which character to have visit, but I certainly don't mind!

Slowly, the tan crystal mare began to recouperate. Her breathing resumed its calm pace, and she even closed her eyes. Dahlia wiped away the tears and gave it another few seconds before speaking in the calm, slow, monotone whisper she had before the flirtation had begun. "Please join me, Mister Slapper. Close your eyes and contemplate your question. Expand on it. Are you ready for a new partner? What characteristics do you look for in a partner? Where do you expect to meet your new partner? What do you expect of each other? What is your end goal in seeking a relationship?" She allowed those questions to gather and absorb into her client for a minute, relishing in the quiet that came over the inside of the wagon. After another minute, she allowed her eyes to slowly open, a gentle smile on her face. "You may open your eyes, Mister Slapper. Let us begin." Dahlia placed her hoof over the deck and gracefully flicked five cards out onto the table. With just a little bit of fiddling, the cards were ordered into a neat cross. Her hoof hovered over the center card, looking back up to Knee Slapper. "This card will answer the first question, evaluating your readiness for a relationship," she explained, flipping it over. On the other side was the upside down drawing of a stallion, one of a few still standing upon the remains of a battlefield, several swords cradled under a foreleg or in his mouth. "The Five of Swords, and it is upside down. This card is a reminder that we're just ponies, and we make mistakes. There are two possible interpretations to this card. What is your experience in love, if I may ask? This card could be suggesting an inability to evaluate your past mistakes, or it could suggest the opposite, that what few mistakes you've made in your past have not escaped your introspection." She gave him a minute to think and comment before hovering her hoof over the next card. "This card describes what you are looking for in a special somepony." Dahlia flipped it over, revealing a terrifying sight. A knight in black armor, striding amongst a crowd of ponies who cowered or fell at his hooves. Most terrifying of all, beneath his open-faced helmet, was nothing but a skull. "Death, upside down," she stated without any trepidation. "Death is a terrifying figure to many, but few stop to consider the necessity of it. Things come and go, some good, but also some bad. The old is pruned, and the new takes its place. However, from its position, it would indicate that you take comfort in the familiar. You may not necessarily fear those different from you, but you find attraction in those like yourself. Another interpretation could be that you do seek change, but only that which would provoke change from within. You accept the world as it is, you just have to find the right mare or stallion to help you adapt." Her hoof flipped over the third card, revealing one that was right side up this time. The drawing depicted that of an alicorn with iridescent mane, tail, and wings soaring high above the clouds, surrounded by a wreath. In each of the four corners, an intelligent race was represented: ponies, griffons, cows, and hippogriffs. "The World. In Crystal Pony myth, we are all the children of Iridia. Until Sombra usurped the throne, the royal family claimed direct lineage back to her. Though she is mainly a crystalline deity, she invites all intelligent beings to awaken the love hidden in our souls, to come together as one in friendship and harmony. Of her teachings, none is more dear than that of being honest to yourself. When you meet your love, it will be spontaneous, spur of the moment, but it will be your true self which interests them the most." Then the fourth card was flipped, revealing the upside down image of a mourning pony in black, staring out across a landscape as five chalices lay on their sides. "The Five of Chalices, upside down. There will exist emotional upheaval on one or both sides that will complicate the relationship. It is possible it will easily be conquered, but it is possible that the loss will purely be one-sided, affecting only yourself, and it will be your prerogative to overcome it." The final card was flipped, revealing a regal-looking mare upon a throne. She was surrounded by nature, no castle walls about her, a large pentacle cradled in her hooves. "The Queen of Pentacles, upside down. Traditionally, this card takes the form of a wise oracle or patron, a mare who eagerly offers her time, energy, skills, and money to better those around her. However, the position suggests a more internal approach. The focus will be more on offering everything to each other, allowing the outside world to solve its own problems." --------------------------- Low's cheeks still burned from his failure, and he was only just now starting to feel as if things were returning back to normal. Except they weren't, were they? Oglevy was mad at him. Very mad. Just how bad would the next prank be? If it was anything like the one that got him into this mess, then he might be able to survive it. The anticipation was the worst part, though. Not only did he not know what he had planned, he had no idea when it would be. The unicorn finished his breakfast soon after, turning towards Beck. His horn lit up and ran through his mane, smoothing it out as he tried to put on the air of dignity Carnelian had taught him so many times. "I am ready to leave," he announced.

She goes card by card, explaining the significance of each card, leaving the interpretation up to her client.

@Randimaxis A question I had for the next time I reply: how do you want the tarot reading to be done, all at once, or should I give you time to react to each card?

That was the straw that broke Dahlia. Her face was now quite flush and her hooves slipped, sending several tarot cards skittering across the table or onto the floor. Words failed to form in her mind or come out her mouth, so she simply let her jaw hang there. Her heart was set to beat out of her chest, and her body locked up. Suddenly, a loud banging came from outside the wagon, where Ophelia's mirthful voice resounded. "You want melted chocolate, mister? Because that's how you get melted chocolate!" That seemed to snap Dahlia out of her daze. "Sh-shut up, Oaf!" she shrieked, her voice cracking. Tears formed at the edges of her eyes as she gathered up her cards and shuffled them once more. "N-now...I can d-do that. However, we should both have clear minds coming into this, or our perceptions will be biased." ---------------- Carnelian meanwhile offered Vylia a warm smile as she finished her coffee. "I will prepare a complete list after I have had time to recuperate, my dear." With that, she wiped her muzzle with a napkin and stood up. "To do so, I must excuse myself. Mister Key may excuse himself with dignity once he finishes his breakfast." As she made her way out, she stopped next to Oglevy, glancing down at him with a smile. "It only remains mortifying so long as you consider it so," she whispered, leaving him to consider that as she left.

@Randimaxis Yup! Sorry, had an exam and a project to get out this week. I'm hoping to get my energy back for my response tonight.

That certainly got a reaction out of the mare. Dahlia's face blushed hotly as her eyes shifted nervously. She tripped over her next few words before stopping to gulp and collect herself. "O-O-Of course, Mr. Slapper. Y-Your company is appreciated." That didn't make her sound needy at all, did it? Confound it, she could never take any sort of flirting. That was her sister's forte. "That is not entirely correct," she answered. "I do not speak to them, per se. Neither do I have any control over the spirits I summon." She chuckled nervously as she shifted her eyes back to her cards. "It can be a mixed bag at times. Though they always answer every question presented to them, some answer in more mischievous or malicious ways than others. "In any case, what sort of question would you like to ask of the spirits? Something about your career? Your l-love life? Your spirituality? Perhaps the outcome of today?" Carnelian brought a hoof to her chin. "There are a number of ponies I could invite. I have multiple vassals in the Crystal Empire, on top of other obligations. My contacts in Equestria, though relatively smaller, are still nothing to scoff at. Several dukes, multiple counts, and plenty of barons, with some CEOs, fashion industry pundits, and other socialites sprinkled in for good taste. If I were to put together an estimate, I could easily put out invites for over six-hundred ponies, though I'm sure that I can prune a few of the more minor members from that list." With Oglevy entering the room and reluctantly showing off his attire, Carnelian cut her answer short to coo at the adorable sight before her. "Vylia, dear, you make me envious! If only I had more than one daughter...and cameras existed back in my day. He looks absolutely adorable!" For his part, Low was keeping his dead down and his eyes on his food. Whether or not Oglevy was doing it, he could feel the death glare burning into his flesh.

@Randimaxis Is there possibly a place I can read up more on Knee Slapper? I ask so that, assuming he's still interested, I could give some accurate answers rather than using RNG to pick a random card

@Randimaxis Almost immediately, the door swung open to reveal Ophelia, beaming eagerly. "Welcome! Please, come inside! Do watch your step, it can be a little cramped." The inside of the wagon was, indeed, a cramped affair. Nearly half of the wagon was taken up by a large mattress with a wardrobe and trunk crammed against the side. A pocketed shelf stood in a window containing many flowers and herbs, including lavender, tulips, and rosemary. The other half of the wagon contained a single round wooden table which had seen plenty of use. Two chairs sat at either ends, and opposite the customer sat Dahlia, her red hood up as she idly shuffled her tarot deck. "Please, have a seat," she invited, her voice soft and soothing. Her sister left the customer and rummaged through the trunk before pulling out several metal sticks with her mouth. After establishing herself, she briefly brushed her bangs from her eyes, catching sight of the door, and carefully making her way outside. After a few short minutes, it was clear that she was beginning to assemble a fire pit with a spit. The tea kettle nearby hinted at her intentions. "Before I ask for payment, I must inquire of several things. Is there a name your prefer to be called by? What inspired you to seek me out? Do you have questions, concerns, or fears on your mind?" The slender mare continued shuffling her deck, her movements quick and practiced. "I should also give some disclosure. I am not a fortune teller. I am not a seer, nor an oracle. In some respects, you may think of me as a medium between this world and the next, a beacon on the ethereal plane of existence to which omniscient spirits are drawn. I cannot command them nor bind them. Should they wish to speak, this deck shall be their voice. However, the answers they give will be cryptic. I can translate, but only you can find meaning in their words." ------------- Low nearly stumbled over himself as he went over to the buffet. His magic stuttered as he tried to grab several food items, then hurriedly took his seat by Vylia. His eyes remained on his plate. He wasn't hungry, but he forced himself to eat. The sooner they forgot he was there, the better. "Oh, yes, of course, let us talk business," Carnelian welcomed. Her plate had been pushed off to the side, having eaten most of it as she relished the entertainment before her. "I am glad you are establishing a menu, but before I can go further, I would like to inquire as to your guest list. I have a number of individuals and influencers I can invite. Several hundred, as a matter of fact. You must give me a number for your maximum capacity."