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Blog Entries posted by stripper

  1. stripper
    I used to play and make Youtube videos actively for the Smash Bros Melee scene and I'm considering returning. My favorite thing about going to tournaments was recording myself playing the game with others and uploading individual funny moments to Youtube. Want to check out my latest 1?
    It would be nice if I could gain subscribers again, but even if I don't, I think I'm going to return just to help out the new players get better. Playing to win is too stressful and I'm not among the ultra talented. There's no point for me to hope to win. Maybe I'll also play hyper-aggro to make the game more fun for them. I play a variety of characters
  2. stripper
    She's my manager at my shame job who's 3 years older than me (30), probably 30-50 LBS heavier than I'd prefer, and the only female to express a lot of interest in me. She clearly has a muscle fetish because she has groped my arms often, and with no attempt at subtly, holds my hand openly in front of everyone. She's trying really hard to get me, so... why not give her a shot? I'm a sex-obsessed pervert and I would really like to have someone to get sexy with. She's just a little bit too heavy for me to touch her anywhere near her holes. I have no idea how to politely ask her to lift some weights to help her lose some

    Out of no strategies impulse, I bought some perfume for her in a nice case that I'll probably give to her in a week with the excuse of an early Christmas present. It'll be blatantly obvious it'll be a crush gift. Her crush is far more obvious. She even invited me to a date after our shifts ended at the same time. I declined

    No 2nd guessing. I'll give her 1 try and see what happens
  3. stripper
    I quit competitive gaming, entirely. I don’t even have the motivation to make moment videos anymore. It feels like a chore. Playing competitive games is too hard. Everyone’s always trying to win. The only way to compete against that is to compete. It’s a retardedly simple idea, but I’m sure you get it. Players are only valued or respected when they’re good. From my perception, you’re only respected if you’re among the top 10% of players at local levels. At national/world levels, you have to be among the top 1%. The reward is nowhere near worth the work. The bottom 90% get NOTHING. That’s where I’ve been throughout almost all of my Smash Bros Melee career, especially on Youtube

    But enough about being emo about the past. I like art. Admittedly for the clop, but there are some pictures by bronies, and even furries too, that I can easily enjoy. Sometimes I get creative ideas that I’d like to bring out and the best I can currently do are paying for them through commissions. Drawing them on my own would be fun, I imagine. So after having some art inspiration from the My Little Pony movie, I bought myself a tablet. I have no idea what any art theory words there even are, but something about the movie strikes me as very artistic. The visuals are so great to look at. Allspark did an amazing job making 3D models look like the flash animation counterpart of the show. Everything looks 2D

    Then there’s also the need to do something valuable that I constantly feel. It’s why I can’t enjoy most single player games anymore. Playing them does nothing to benefit anyone. Multiplayer games do nothing good for anyone else either. What does supporting Quake Champions by merely being a player do for anyone? Give everyone 1 more player to play with online sometimes? That’s worth almost nothing, pretty much. I get that communities are shaped by many individual people. As a player and an unknown youtuber, I can’t do anything great for anyone

    Art is just what I think is the best way I can do something good for others on my own strategies. I won’t be looking up any tutorials nor ask anyone for advice on how to draw well. So far, I’ve developed my own grip for holding a stylus pen. I have no idea if anyone does what I do. But from what I’ve discovered so far on my own technique is that it’s great for drawing straight along the X and Y axes. Or at least I think so. But what do I know?

    For now, I’m practicing the most basic of shapes and letters to merely learn how to control a pen. Farther into the future, I imagine myself as a sketch artist. I would like to draw something that gets viewers feeling and thinking in certain ways. Maybe with a monochrome style, they can fill in the colors with their own imaginations. It’s a subtle reflection of myself, how there are so few details about me on the surface. I’m quite reserved. But I think all of you secretly know me ♥ 
  4. stripper
    IDK how I am compared to average, but I think I'm a very industrious person. If I have an opportunity to work, I will. I work a full time job that usually gives me 35-40 hours/week, I workout every night for 1.5 hours, I'm frequently practicing against bots on the hardest difficulty in Quake Live to prepare for Quake Champions, record myself in case something worth putting on Youtube happens, I listen to commentary/news videos at 2x speed so I can hear more things faster, I like and comment on right political videos to help boost their chances of getting recommended, and I can't even eat properly anymore. Maybe the last 1's because my job only gives us 15 minutes of break for every 5 hours in a shift, which caused me to habituate eating fast, but even at home or eating out, I end up eating fast and uncomfortably. I just want to swallow food and return home as soon as possible so I can do more productive things at home. I'm constantly stressing myself yet I have to be constantly doing things or else I'll feel even more uncomfortable   I obviously need to spend like $1,000 for an hour of therapy, right? I shamefully work in the fast food industry as a regular worker. I have 1 week of requested time off and for 6 of those days, I'll be job hunting for a less stressful job that pays better. At the job I have now, I need to drink energy drinks to maintain my performance so my managers don't rant at me and so that they don't get ranted at by corporate level either. These things destroy hearts. Exercise helps, but it only solves the symptoms instead of the problem which is drinking energy drinks almost daily. I've even developed a tolerance for them, lessening my performance boosts   There are 2 nice malls almost next to each other only 3 miles from where I live. Ideally, at minimum, I hope some store at either location will hire me, anything that isn't in the food industry. Preferably, I'd like to get hired by the mall for top1%ers. The crowd is so much smaller, everyone is calmer, and the environment is so businessly fancy. They have so many stores that sell expensive as fuck stuff. The fashion industry sells stuff at huge markups, so I'm hoping that if I get the dream scenario, maybe I'll have enough money to buy some fancy attire. My job will require me to dress as rich as my customers anyways. I just hope that I have a good enough resume to get interviewed   Unfortunately, all I can put on it are 1.5 years of working at the 2nd most popular fast food store of the company in America in the 8th most popular mall in America, 128 credit hours, psychology major, sadly never graduated, my strength (Going to test my pull up and push up limit tomorrow), and that's about it. I don't have any valuable trades. But what does a sales associate need to know beyond persuasion? I guess I could practice saying random things to a microphone to learn how to talk well and stuff. IDK   I'm doubting that I'll end up in the top1%er mall. The demand is low but the markups are high. I'll more likely end up in the mall for everyone at/above middle class because that place is constantly flooded with customers. Stores will need workers to help keep up with customers. I haven't even started yet because I feel so sick from stress, work, health destructive food that I serve, and energy drinks. Why haven't I puked yet?
  5. stripper
    I'll whine forever that my rageretirement ruined my channel, costing me 751 subscribers from peak count to current lowest count. But 1 perk about the long break was that it let me reset my perspective and strategies for what I do. I escaped the mental trap of routines and could start planning with new strategies. My video banners aren't well designed. Initially, I trusted FoxInShadow (the best clop artist ♥) to design them for me and they have flaws. The controller my OC is holding looks much more like a PS2 controller than a Gamecube controller. The names of my channels are too boldly written and there's no description for them. Both sides have my OC which is redundant. These flaws need to get fixed and I'm waiting for him to finish his backlog so I can get mine drawn next. I'm also going to ask for a commission of a better avatar, 1 where my OC and Peach are cutely posing together so that viewers will be able to guess that I play Melee
    Another problem is my conversation mic. A cardiod mic pointed up blocks controller clicking well, but it also blocks the audio from people talking. It's too weak and gets drowned out by the game's direct audio. I should have bought a shotgun mic and an XLR interface to capture conversation audio while avoiding capturing game audio. They're much better designed to capture what they point at while blocking sounds outside of the desired angle. I'm considering making a $250 or $170 purchase tonight to improve my moment video's audio as soon as I can. I think I might also be able to connect it to my weirdly made mic stand that uses an acoustic shield to block noise from below, ideally controller clicking. And since it has a Blue Yeti shock mount, I might be able to easily connect my potentially new shotgun mic to it. Shotgun mics are very sensitive to shocks so this will help greatly. I could probably use my Blue Yeti Pro for home use only, which will make transporting my gear easier. Maybe I could try commentary/vlog videos on 1 of my side channels
    I never had opportunities to record/stream for the MeleeAtlNorth channel because other streamers have already established themselves in the region too well and they're simply better streamers than me. But now I'm using it again for reuploading grand finals of their streams to entertain people online again and promote the other streamers of Virginia. I might also expand to other states, but I'm starting the idea small for now before expanding it into anything. Of all people, I know I'm 1 of the best for this service because I had a little known reputation for getting tournament videos on Youtube quickly. I can do it again. Secretly, hopefully this service also helps me grow my channel too. A link to my channel will be hidden below the links to the other streamers' channels. At least if these channels grow, my region will improve its reputation and maybe I can grow indirectly. I hope other streamers would like to help me grow too
    Aside from special events, requests, or free events, I'm no longer entering any tournaments. It'll only make me hate myself if I do. Trimming $5 per event will help me cut costs because I do not have any money saving skills. There is a reason why my bank account gets drained of money so often. Trust me. I'd rather avoid publicly disclosing it
    Being active on Smashboards drained me online and I don't like talking to people. I'd much rather silently do things. This time, I'm never logging back into my account, aside from 4 more video self promotions happening on March 31 and April 1. Maybe if I can get away with spam again, I'll spam Reddit some more, but more slowly, and with compilations, maybe. IDK. During my freetime, I'm going to somehow keep working out to maintain my health and good looks, if that's possible. Workaholism makes it difficult. I can get very tired after Smash sessions and I rarely have opportunities to do my ideal 1.75 hour full body workout. I'm likely going to trim it down to 1 hour to keep my whole body in shape. It'll simply be easier and more motivating, rather than daunting. Everything I do will be cut in 1/2, going from 100 rep limits on almost everything down to 50. It's either that or nothing. Too often it's nothing. But I still want abs worth showing off, so my sit up limit will still be high, at least 200+
    Hopefully I'll be doing things better soon
  6. stripper
    I've returned to the competitive Melee scene and I'm recording and uploading funny moment videos again. Want to subscribe to either of my channels? https://www.youtube.com/user/UsurperKingZantwill host individual moment clips and https://www.youtube.com/user/AlterKingZant will host moment compilations
    I prefer the individual clip format because It shows off only the main event and I can make witty titles to them if I'm clever enough. Compilation videos feel like a random assortment to me. I have to keep a slow upload rate of moment clips on my main channel to retain subscribers and optimize subscriber views. For those who want to see moments sooner, I can upload compilations from fests/tournaments whenever they get rendered. I don't care as much about my experimental channels as I do about my main channel

    shows me doing the tilt moment during the draft crew battle last Friday. Ty for uploading it ♥ 

    (Blatantly copy/pasted from a Facebook group post)
  7. stripper
    We've tried to coordinate gaming at his house twice in 2 weeks and both times failed due to lack of communication on his part. He doesn't want me on the days he failed to get shit together that he couldn't do them because of who knows what shit. A warning would be nice. I've had issues with this guy before. If I abandon him, I'll be truly friendless in person. He was hardly even a friend anyways
    Coordinating anything with him is a selfish request though. I'd hate to be with anyone else because I willingly committed social suicide at my benefit. Bringing my whole 30 lbs gaming rig with me to play the same games we could just play online is a logistical waste of effort. We wouldn't even play Smash Bros Melee much, which is only worth playing locally. If I'm going to play games with anyone, I'm going to have to make sacrifices too and play their game of choice which I hate. Friendlessness is better for me because I never get let down by anyone and I never have to do things I don't want to do
  8. stripper
    I hate advertising my videos on Reddit because it feels like I'm doing nothing but spamming the forum users with simple content that anyone can make that isn't what they're interested in. CSGO's an esports game and in my experience with Melee, they hate casual play. I don't know if CSGO's (competitive?) community views casual play. The thing about my channel is that I play a lot and a lot of moments happen, so a lot of moments end up on my channel. I hope I filter my videos well enough so that only good stuff ends up on my channel. But I'm also afraid that by filtering, I lose content. The last, major problem is how easily biased my opinions on moments are because I make them happen. I know all of the context before the moments giving me more to laugh at. It's also just mere psychology
    But self hate aside, I hope I advertise my best videos well. Just a favor from anyone who reads this; would you like to help view boost my moments to help make me look more popular? I'm just trying to make myself look more attractive to get more subscribers ^.^















    Ty ♥
  9. stripper
    This is just to help put social pressure on me to help me not forget to hit record when I'm playing games that I want to make funny moment videos of. I need social facilitation to help improve what I do. Typing up a blog about this mistake helps ingrain it in my mind better to help me remember. I can't show you the epic things that didn't get recorded because they didn't, but for fun, he's what I missed being able to show everyone
    T on Mirage
    5 consecutive AWP kills in a 10 second span
    CT on Mirage
    Flash bang + decoy + smoke + P90 distraction kill, took the T's AK, ran to T spawn, kinfed an AFKer, ran to middle with AK ablaze, killed 2 Ts, picked up an AWP, ball banged a T through the carriage
    T on Dust2
    Sniping in mid with SSG + P250, notice a CT run into tunnels, chase after him, attempts to knife him, allies kill him 1st, funny stare at the killer, run out of tunnels, got killed by CT in cat
    T on Mirage
    1v3, low health, bomb in mid, holding a FAMAS, gets 2 kills, gets spotted at A site, runs to B site, plants with 8 seconds remaining, guards the bomb, CTs kick their stupid saver 1 second before the bomb explodes
    I know there's 1 more funny moment that I can't recall right now
    I'm a funny multiplayer gaming moment uploader on Youtube and all of my moments are purely unstaged. Everything happens naturally and it's impossible for me to recreate these things. Even if I could, they'll lose their authenticity which is 1 of the main things about my moments. At least I wasn't an idiot throughout the entire day. I played a lot of CSGO this morning and got some decent footage. I hope I never make this mistake again
  10. stripper
    If I ever follow, or even merely like, someone online, I avoid ever seeing photos of themselves in real life. Not knowing their real life counter-parts make them more interesting. Online, people can be limited to their usernames, avatars, text, and maybe whatever else they want to share. You get to learn their semi-anonymous side that they might hide in real life. You get to know someone by how they want to present themselves, with fewer social restrictions. I'd never upload photos nor videos of my face because it'd ruin the fun mystery for others. Being a mysterious introvert is just how I'd like to present myself. I'm even like this in real life to an extent. Some people have stated or asked incorrect assessments about me. Personally, Online, I like to boast about being sexy and there is some evidence to back it up. But you'll never see it, of course ^.^
    I have liked and followed a few people online and met them in person, often at Smash Bros Melee tournaments, and it's... interesting. I guess that's what everyone else says it is, but it doesn't interest me
  11. stripper
    I don't have the personality for it. I'm a completely silent introvert who never talks and it's not entertaining. I don't have someone to outsource being entertaining to. It's a waste of my time and everyone else's. I used to live stream to grow my Smash Bros Melee reputation and use it as an alternative to Youtube in case bad things happened to my channel, like getting hacked or suspended. But also, it was just another way to entertain the Melee community. It would be easy for me at tournaments, but I quit going to them
    My 1st channel only peaked at 399 followers, 394 currently, and my 2nd channel is at 63 right now, at its peak. Just some numbers so you know
    From now on, I'm just going to continue what I'm already doing which is merely me recording myself playing PC FPSs. Nothing's changed, really. Personality is an unchanging factor that can make or break someone's performance. You can act, but you can't be authentic. I used to do it for a long time and it's not something I want to do again
  12. stripper
    January 2, 2009 - April 10, 2016 were the best 7 years, 3 months, and 8 days of my life. I had a lot of fun and friends and I've never seen them ever again, except 1 of them when we played OW together at his house. But beyond that, I just don't care about this game anymore. Really, I'm just too disinterested to care anymore. Fame is nice, but it's not worth doing the work I did for the amount of fame I got. I'm just so apathetic, or maybe that's my current mood right now. I just recently woke up and haven't ate yet
    But I guess during these 7 years, I learned 1 valuable lesson specific to me that I wish I knew before I ever started; I'm not a friend kind of person. I don't need any. It sounds odd, but I'm just so disinterested in other people. I love doing my own things on my own strategies to benefit other people. I wish I kept playing Counter-Strike: Source and other PC FPSs and got more serious about recording gameplay than ever getting into Melee's tournament scene. The genre's just more fun for me (?now?). It would have also saved me probably $12,000 that I've put into my career for just 4,785 subscribers on a decline right now and only $719.68 earned from Youtube revenue. That's a major money loss. I've rarely ever won any tournament money ever
    I guess I have memories and maybe connection if I ever need them. I have no idea how anyone could benefit from them. I think my contributions have helped the Melee community greatly. Thank you, everyone who watched what I've made
    This blog is just a time stamp of a major life event, but you don't even expect a quality blog ever. Want to watch a Youtuber continue losing everything he ever had? http://socialblade.com/youtube/user/usurperkingzant/monthly
  13. stripper
    My job is too shitty to fully disclose. It's stressful, the pay sucks, and it's not always something I enjoy. Our stores get random customer POV reviews which will either pay workers working during that time bonuses if we 100% the review but if we miss 1 point, we get nothing. 1 of the requirements is smiling and I simply can't smile. Even if I try to, it looks hideously fake and ruins my face. I need to drink energy drinks to enable me to smile better at the cost of destroying my heart slowly. The best I can do to negate the health cost is drink water and maybe exercising helps to some good extent too, theoretically. Also, I work a shitty job. Who would smile about that?. Another problem is that I don't enjoy working with people and I'd rather just do things on my own to benefit the customers on my own strategies. I can't do that where I work
    I guess I need to try applying to 3 recently opened up job positions at cool stores today. 1 is technical support for a Microsoft Store in a mall near me that I love. The job requirements are slightly high and IDK if I'm good enough to do much with what I'm capable of doing now. I know there's job training, but I know that I know nothing. Another position is cashier which doesn't require a brain so that might be easy to get if I'm not competing with other applicants. The last is sales associate and I tried applying there this Summer and failed the group interview. I'm too socially awkward. But being a sales associate would allow me to roam anywhere I want to in my assigned area, help any customer I want, recommend products to them on my own strategies, and not have my tasks depend on others' tasks nor be dependent on theirs (heavily)
    I really need to get out of my current job and take 3 shots at getting into a job less shitty. A friend of mine had a friend who worked as sales associate and he told me that his hourly wage was about $15. That amount's worth mentioning. I'm also going to need to either buy my own formal attire if I get an interview offered or reuse something lame I already have. I need to do this after I get at least 5 hours of sleep when it's possible tonight. I need social facilitation
  14. stripper
    The demonitization doesn't suck as hard as Youtubers said it would be, I predict, but it's also a bit of a complicated issue. It's basically Youtube now having the right to remove monitization on videos if they deem them unfriendly for advertising, according to certain criteria. The most commonly mentioned problem about them is how vague and broad they are. A lot of famous Youtubers have already had several to many of their videos demonitized which is going to limit how much money they make and staying alive unfortunately costs money. They could "get a real job", but that's a shitty (banned word for monitization) alternative. Making videos for these people is a passion. Working at McDonalds or a local grocery store is something to be ashamed about. But I'm sure a good portion of these people could aim a bit higher than that anyways
    Some claim that this is censorship and it's partially true. People can still make videos criticizing others but they have a high likelihood of being considered "harassment" because someone's feelings could get hurt, even if the person avoids calling them a banned word, letting 1 side of an ideology go unchecked because the opposing side can't make their living off of criticizing it anymore. Those Youtubers will have to work "real jobs" to afford to stay alive and lose 40+ hours every week that they could be using for research, video making, and other related stuff. It's basically a stealthy version of censorship
    In Youtube's and advertisers' perspectives, this might be a good idea to raise profits. Ad agencies don't want their ads associated with unfriendly things like Leafy's and cringe videos because ads simply aren't effective there. IDK the deeper psychology behind it. By demonitizing ads there, ad agencies will get their ads put only on content that will more likely lead to more sales. All they seem to want is the fat trimmed to save money. Online advertising is unfortunately not very effective because the whole internet is basically a distraction service. By having ads only on videos that are ad friendly, this could lead to ad agencies competing with each other by out bidding each other for more ad space, which would of course help Youtube make their profits
    The new policy is probably aimed to motivate Youtubers to make more ad friendly videos. It may help them in the end if they clean up their language, but it also restricts the content they can make. Some Youtubers are entertaining because their style of it is being a cunt and making fun of other cunts (For fun, anyone want to guess which Youtuber I'm referencing? "Cunt" is the hint). Removing their vulgar language would make them less fun to watch. For those who can stay entertaining with the restrictions, this could lead to them getting more money because advertisers will want to bid more on putting ads on their videos
    But there are 2 problems to Youtubers complaining so much about this policy that needs to be pointed out. Sponsors pay more than video ads and ad blockers make this policy irrelevant to those viewers individually. For the Youtube sponsorship 1, it unfortunately takes a lot of subscribers for someone to get sponsors. According to Drift0r, they usually don't happen until 100,000 or so. For the other problem, ad blockers are increasing at an exponential rate. More people install them every year. If the pattern continues, in several years, the prevalence rate of non-ad viewed videos will be too great for any monitization, ignoring the new policy, to make much of a deal about (I know Youtube has paid Adblock to white list their site, but IDK if they're still doing that and Adblock is only 1 ad blocker developer)
    The new policy is enforced mostly automatically and many big channels have been scanned for videos that aren't ad friendly. I've heard some theorize that it's based on banned words in video descriptions, titles, or tags. I'm not sure if that's true though. There are 9 videos on my channel with the word "Fuck" in the title and none of them have been demonitized. I haven't had this new policy affect me at all. It could be because mine hasn't been scanned yet. This is just my own theory, but video flagging may have an effect on what gets auto demonitized too (Baseless theory). Maybe the scanning only happened on big channels 1st
    Full guidelines https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6162278?hl=en
  15. stripper
    CSGO is so easy. You have no idea how little skill this game takes... Relative to Quake. Counter-Strike is an FPS series about killing still low health enemies. Everyone is easy to kill. Quake is the exact opposite of this game and the skill demand is excessive (which is a good thing). Characters move fast, can take a long time to kill, and can regenerate their health & armor. Good players can predict where you are, what health & armor you're at, and can control item respawn timers. How do you fight against that? In most 1v1s I play, I usually get onlyt 1 kill and my opponents usually get 40. 1v1s take a long time to set up and I'm simply not at the level where I merely know how to win, let alone compete in a game populated only by die hard veterans. It's like Melee between Brawl's launch and EVO 2013. Only die hard veterans played the game and it had a big skill gap. But that was easier
    Sadly, PC FPSs aren't good for making funny moments and all that's needed to make them in Melee are taunts and Peach's down smashes. There's sadly not much reason to continue pursing my new channel's direction. It's impractical and worthless Most importantly, CSGO simply isn't anywhere nearly as fun as Quake. I feel like I play it only to get more content that'll make me lose more subscribers. And when I forget to check that I'm currently recording and I miss recording a potentially good moment, I hate myself I have considered testing a Melee stream to learn real world results of what would happen if I streamed/uploaded Melee content again. I hate seeing my channel slowly return to 0 subscribers because I've worked at this for 7 years. 7. Years. 7. But I'd also hate to play Melee
    AlterKingZant, on the other hand, has hardly lost any subscribers because I've uploaded almost no videos to it during the last year or so. There's no reason anyone would notice the channel, making them want to unsubscribe. Maybe if my main channel goes into hibernation, I can retain my subscriber count until I'm good enough at Quake and when Quake Champions has launched. maybe I could gain 1st to market advantage to help get me views and subscribers. The community's super dead right now, even deader than Melee's post Brawl - pre EVO 2013 era. Quake has a huge reputation and could go through a revival similar to what Street Fighter, Marvel Vs Capcom, and Counter-Strike have gone through. No 1 is currently actively uploading Quake content on Youtube right now. The ones I've noticed that do don't have many subscribers. This chance is 1 of the reasons why I suicide reset my channel, so that I could upload moments of new games when the games are still new. If I never suicide uploaded, I would have started uploading my 1st CSGO moments in 2019
    Sadly, doing it with OW has failed, but that's mainly because I hate advertising my videos. I feel like a shitty spammer, so I never ended up posting them. I've only done it to the Melee community because it's the Melee community. It once worked. When I started off, spamming videos on Reddit view boosted them by 1,000-2,000 views. By the end though, view boosts tended to only bring 100. My account rightfully got banned there, hahaa. I guess it's because Melee players suck dicks about anything involving Melee. IDK anything about the Quake community so I have no idea how they're respond to supposedly funny moments
    For now, I'm just going to let my backlog of CSGO and some QL videos run out before I return to playing multiplayer games again. I'm going to practice 1v1ing against bots in Quake 3 Arena and Live on the 2nd hardest difficulty because my biggest problem is that I need to play more. I can't competently do anything. However, it's almost like playing against level 9s in Smash Bros. AI isn't intelligent. It's always better to play against humans because they're not stupid and they don't have exploitable patterns. I want to play against bots to brute force as many hours as I can into Quake. I need to develop Quake aim. Counter-Strike didn't improve my aim for that game's demands
    But I won't be gone completely. If anyone wants me to play them in CSGO or OW, I'll happily accept any invite
  16. stripper
    The biggest mistake I ever made on Youtube was fast forwarding my Melee moments from 3 videos/week to 3 videos/day. I know it's suicidal but I had a death wish. I've already explained this. My subscriber loss would have been slower and lower until its run out in 2019 and by that time, I would have collected years worth of PC FPS videos. My subscriber views/video would also have remained in the 3+ digits unlike what it is now, usually 15 views
    But there's a problem with this. I didn't learn how to quality filter PC FPSs until almost a year after making them, so I would have had 3 years of gaming history that likely would have brought 4+ years of moments at the 3 videos/week schedule. I don't plan, predict, nor theorize well. I do everything impulsively on the field because I'm stupid and lazy
    The ideal scenario would have been to never make mistakes ever and I make mistakes all the time because I'm stupid. I've been criticized for my moment backlog by several people in person who've expressed heavy disappointment. Even I wanted to show off my moments as soon as they happen for my own fun. But that costs my subscribers fun by showing them something that isn't funny, leading them to an unsubscription, leading me to less views, likes, and comments
    Going far back in time to prevent any mistakes I know would have been nice, but the best I can do now is to start making less of them. I'm going back to my 3 videos/week schedule and will continue to brute force play as much as I can during my free time to build up as much skill as I can, hopefully get as many lucky unstaged funny moments as I can, and maybe spam advertise my videos. I really hate the latter though. Showing off my videos on other sites feels like nothing but spam to me. I'd only ever do that to the Melee community because I have 0 respect for them. I'd hate to do that to anyone else. Maybe I'll never share my funny moments to anyone and hope that my fans will do the advertising for me. I don't interact with people. I just do things
  17. stripper
    This is just a status too long to post on Twitter
    I don’t really like my subscriber base on Youtube which is mainly occupied by Melee players. I’ve always had disloyalty throughout my channel’s history and ever since 1 month before I quit Melee (April 11, 2016), it has almost never gained a subscriber on any day. No 1 appreciated the (amount of) work I put towards Melee, relatively speaking. It’s not absolutely 0, but compared to the other channels that grow ultra fast in the community, I’ve always felt that I unfairly never got the same success others had, even despite my earlier start on as far back as January 3, 2009. But Youtube is a game almost purely about luck and I’m just 1 of the many (or few) lottery losers who bought too many tickets
    But I’d still rather have my freedom playing PC FPSs than any amount of fame I’ve ever had playing Melee. It was never much. My record subs/day was 66 because I bought them for $50 during the Melee for EVO 2013 donation drive contest. My 2nd best record is only 29 in 1 day. http://socialblade.com/youtube/user/ghostrager at 1 point averaged 713 daily. The game, the community, and the work have caused me an unbelievable amount of stress and several online people who knew me outside of Melee could clearly see that I needed to quit. Sometimes I need a healthy vent
    Youtube statistics, June 26, 2007 - April 10, 2016
  18. stripper
    Just to introduce my channel, I'm a funny moment video uploader formerly for Smash Bros Melee and currently for Counter-Strike: Global Offensive. I made a famous Melee video called "It Takes Guts to be AMAZING" and I currently have 4,425 subscribers. Want to see what I've done?
  19. stripper
    I fast forwarded my moment video backlog to publishing a new video every 8 hours because I wanted my Melee career to end. I thought I'd play FPSs as actively as I played Melee, but strategies have changed. A lot of my time off from work is currently spent working out to maintain my health and youth while I still have them. The daily routine lasts 1.5 hours, the little pre-workout ritual to prepare myself for it lasts .5-1 hours, and after the workout, I'm too tired to play for 1-2 hours. I also nap for 2 hours after work so I can have enough energy to do everything I want to do. In total, from estimations only, staying in physical shape costs me 6.5 hours every day, including the 2 hour nap. The only time I can play games online well is during the wait before the workout while food digests and while I gradually fully wake up from my nap. Looking sexy has a high price
    I do it because it feels better than playing games and making moments just to entertain at most 50 of my 4,446 remaining subscribers. That's only 1% subscriber activity. At least if I workout to improve my looks, I feel better because of the endorphin rush. But also, being healthier just feels better. When I inevitably get my 2nd job to help me afford to stay alive, the extra strength might help my performance. Having good looks helps candidates pass interviews, so there's that perk too. And of course, looking hawtter might help improve my chances of getting a girlfriend, LOL. I wouldn't actively try to get 1. They have excessive demands and don't contribute as much in return for their partners. The reward isn't worth the work, so I'll letting single women do all of the risky approaching. Too bad the vast majority of women prefer men approaching because it's hawtter to them. The only 1s who'd approach are the ugly older women, if they even tolerate a man who never talks. But let's be real, I'm too socially awkward to get a girlfriend, LOL. A few of my unattractive female coworkers teasing me doesn't mean anything
    If I foresaw this change of Youtube success and life strategy, maybe I should have kept my Melee moment upload schedule at 3 videos/week. I'd still get comments and my subscriber count would decline slower. My views/video would still be better. But I'd still get banned by September on Reddit, so there'd be no Reddit view boosts after a while. Before the last filter on my Melee moments, the backlog would have lasted me until sometime in 2020. With the filter, it would probably end by 2019. By that time, the games I've been playing ever since I quit Melee would have become irrelevant. I would probably have to fast forward that backlog to 3 videos/day which could last probably up to a year. Maybe I shouldn't fast forwarded them?

    I wanted all of my games in my moments modern so that they'll be more relevant to share. The problem is that I secretly don't like advertising my videos because it feels like I'm spamming. I thought it'd be fun to share epic moments as soon as I can make and upload them after they happen. Again, my workout habit gets in the way and slows things down. Maybe you might enjoy a nice little clutch I did last night https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0OuiGvbnSg
  20. stripper
    I've been thinking; if a famous tournament series runs another tournament in the same location as this year, a mall for top1%ers, I wonder how people would react if my name was on the registration list and assigned to a certain pool. People would have to look for me to find me though because no 1 knows me. I wonder if the news would spread to me. I also wonder what would happen if I dropped a stack of business cards for my Youtube & Twitch channels there. Would Melee players talk about me? I'll have to be stealthy for the in person event and willing to throw away like $50 in both scenarios. Maybe I could still shop at the mall at their cheapest store which sells sunglasses that cost $100-$400 or eat god tier cake
    The unfortunate reality is that I wouldn't be given a fuck about
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