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So, over Christmas season I done bought me a Fruitcake.
Y'know, them dense lil' logs o' goop. They're just as atrocious as their reputation states. I adore them.
Sure, some might say "Just buy a fresh-cooked, actual bread fruitcake" but I say it defeats the purpose if you aren't inflicting Good, Preservative-Dense Fruitcake.
I'll have you all know, I'm personally responsible for at least half of the world's population of Fruitcakes that get sent to you buy relatives who should REALLY know you DON'T want a fruitcake. The fruitcakes that get repackaged to others and are in the mail or shelves for decades before they go bad.
And when they go bad, they eat Kentucky.
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F is for Friends who eat fruitcake together!
R is for Really baaad fruuitcaaake!
I is for Indigeeeestion! Down here in this convoulted status update!
U is how Upset your stomach will be!
T is for Terrible Decisions!
C is for Can't understand why I bought this in the first place!
A is for a quick Answer to thaaat!
K is for a Kick in the gut!
E is for knowing you'll do it E-gain!!
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