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Everything posted by Widdershins

  1. They say fish is good brain food. But, like, if it was all that smart it wouldn’t got caught, huh?

    1. Duality


      They say fish is good brain food. It's the cannibal fish that never get caught.

    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      They say the early bird gets the worm.

      Well, the second mouse gets the cheese.

  2. @Blitz Boom "Oy, don' pretend ya don' like me on top, Babe! My agility keeps me quite skilled at that!~" The stallion shot back, perched proudly on Berry's head along the way she lead the two of them. Like most birds, it would take alot to dissuade him of anything he hadn't set himself too. Well, notwithstanding newcomers. Flit had great interest in meeting new ponies. The moment they had come in the door (Flit's head bobbing down as they came through the doorway) he had completely disregarded anything further she had to say. From on top of her head, he put his head down and wings back and buzzed his way at Chippy like a hawk after a bunny, bucking Berry's head back with a persistent poke. In little much time for the small griffon to react much more than to trip over himself attempting to turn away from the persistently projectile pone, Flit was all over this newcomer. Glomped on to Chippy, hooves wrapped around him and long neck pressed into his side, the griffon was greeted with a wide, toothy, smug grin. "Why hello, yeh Little Morsel~ What's a little thing like you doin' unloved out 'ere in this big, harsh world, huh?" &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& @Sekel (and also Blitzie!) From perched firmly on her back, where he seemed to fit a little too well considering his arrogance, Shortstack grumbled low to Dazzle. "Hmph. She gae a big- longer stride. T'ain't dignyfied but it saves the trouble, least. Weren't me plan that it turned out the lot 'ah us are stackable horses." "You gotta make others comfy! You let me know Shiny Horsie, if you ever need Mama Flush to help you wif anything! Ya gotta share! Ya gotta care!" The much larger mare chirped in her southern drawl back at the two as they took the next few several moments walking. Scarcity made it to the police offices ahead of them from either teleportation or a businessmare's more determined gait compared to the slow, cautious of her two riders, ambling mosey that Sunny Flush was taking. Scarcity had plenty enough time to catch up with her estranged sister before the others arrived and the answer to Dazzle's question of how long they would ride like that would be summarily, and quickly answered. Not long after Scarcity had finished talking the timbers of the admittedly rather ersatz (makeshift, I like fancy words!) building rang with the sound of impact... As Sunny's face rammed into the trim of the doorway. The resulting sudden stop would skid both Shortstack and Dazzle off at the front door of where they were intending on going. "Oowuh-Ow-wuh!" At the sound of her making contact Blither's head turns to flick towards the door (and Monolith's doesn't) and both bothers say in the same voice "That would be Sunny." &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  3. I can just imagine you silently reading my status updates or comments sometimes. And just letting out that Exhausted Parent sigh of "I could reprimand him for this, but it's not going to stop anything. He's still going to be a major dork."

     Are you, like, the Grand Projenitor Poobah or something of these here forums? Should I, like, treat the forum moderators with more respect than the usual forum goer? 

     Because that ain' gon happen. That would require me putting further thought into anything I do, and let me tell you, no one wants that. Ain't the kinda Man I am!

    If I count as a "man" and not "vague entity of annoyence." 

    Y'all know I don't mean no harm, eh? I feel I done ticked yah a few times before somehow. I forget over what. I shoot my mouth off sometimes. But I can't watch what I say, because when I do, I overdo and I can't be meself. If you get me.

  4. Well now, Riki.5! I think you still have yet to sufficently answer what happened to Riki Versions One through Four!

     Did you consume them to become the Ultimate Riki?!!? 

     So many unanswered Riki-based questions. Perhaps I can find them in the RikiWiki?

    1. Rikifive


      It's simple, I've replaced them. :pout: A new, better model replaces the previous ones. Apparently I'm supposed to be more epic than Riki.4 was. :pout: ... and I'll probably be less epic, than Riki.6 will be. :awwthanks:

      I'm not sure if the documentary about me has leaked anywhere, but I can tell you, that I'm running on IkirOS, if that helps. :grin:

    2. Widdershins


      How does one quantify & channel Epicness? I imagine a serious scholarly debate with Rainbow Dash.

      I assume Riki.6 comes with easier port access for charging. I have heard complaints about the current model sustaining energy.~

  5. */Overhead clap* NEW IDEA FOR A PONY OC!!

    Hunker Squat!

    I adore pony naming conventions. Alternative title for him, "Hunker the Junker"!

     "Naw welcome to Hunker Squat's Good Deal's Emporyum! Where I kin garuntee I have what chew want! 

     This? I don' e'en know what this is, but it makes a good backscratcher so that's what it is. Now buy it!

     These here unattended fillies? Five Bits each! Good deal, no questions asked, just give me the money."

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Widdershins



       And your insinuating literal translations of Pony Names have to make a direct correlation? Scootaloo doesn't scoot her way to Loos, Sweetie Belle doesn't apply sweetener to ringing instruments and Applebloom not only is around apples without her choice but does nothing to involve flowers or the act of such growing.  

      My condition for pony names is that they're vaugely descriptive of the pony! He both hunkers AND squats! He's a pro Squatter!   ...that, and we need more characters named Squat.

      Little known fact that the movement of a Squat is a variation in the group of movements known as a Hunker. There's a lot of things you can hunker "down to" but not all squats help you get to stuff.


    3. Duality


      Hey now, Sweetie Belle is a sweetie (and a belle for that matter, as in the French word for beautiful), Apple Bloom did grow flowers with a potion in the episode Twilight Time if I recall correctly, and Scootaloo has a scooter and looks like a loo. Most of the names I can call to mind refer to an actual talent on the part of the pony, which implies that Hunker Squat has an exceptionally magnificent crouching technique.

      ... do folks ask him to get stuff on the bottom shelf just so they can admire his exquisite haunch posture?

    4. Widdershins


      1. I doubt Tweetie Ball is from Prance and her beauty & sweetness are vauge measures at best. One could say your average eight year old isn’t so much pretty as Loud.

      2. Oh yes, the one time. Then never shown after. We have no word if that same potion would have worked the same in anypony else’s hooves.

      3. And has Tooterpoo ever used her Tooter?!!? … I mean Scooter.  Think the message was that they had specific talents, but they weren’t important enough to be emotionally invested in.

       ...and yes, if you’ve ever been to a county flea market you know a large part of it is crouching and glaring down customers.

  6. @Windy Breeze: *~Magic!~* It's like Math or Science! Except I get all dazzily with it so you don't question it! I said don't question it! *Tips straw hat and soft-shoe shuffles off stage* Oh, but don't worry. Just because I am one,d oesn't mean you'll be getting a Draconequus! I think you could play well with someone a fair bit more... Suggestible.
  7. Lookit the pretty birdy!

    Anypony else like birds? @ShadOBabe does, i know!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Widdershins


      The great thing was is that I could barely tell it wasn't her speaking! Black Birbs are so smart!

       And totally not at all in that "One Day Take Over the World" way that monkies do!

    3. Rikifive


      Birbs are wonderful in general. Their singing in the morning is epic. If I had a nice big garden, I'd throw tons of birdhouses there for them. c:

    4. Widdershins


      Well, you can garden just so, @Rikifive. Provide the kind of plantlife they find comfortable with a variety of what they like to snack on. Not all birds get along together as Jays, Cardinals and so on will tend to pick on other birbs to get their snackies.

       I have heard that its a bad idea to supply a reliable seed source to the point where birds might prefer to stay around your house in the winter instead of migrating like they're supposed to do. But you can do, like Hummingbirb Gardens and make your backyard like a little nature preserve!

  8. *Hearthstone video hype for new stuff*

     Me: Pssht. "Enhanced animals," vaugely alien races and huge blobby demon things. They're just being overblown and uncreative, I can't believe how uncreative they're b-

     "Introducing: Librams, books to buff and whack people with"

     Also me: "SQUEEEEE!~" :twi::P:o^_^


    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Widdershins


      The bookwave is the fast flipping of the pages. Very dangerous.

      Also, right back to hating Hearthstone again.

    3. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      You can get a nasty paper cut!

      i never played hearthstone. Does it hurt?

    4. Widdershins


      Only the stones do.

       And its all stony.

  9. There is justice and beauty in this world.

  10. *Rams head through the wall of the room your currently in, much sound of splinting wall debris*

    SO HAY! I hAs qUEsTioN!!~~


      So, technically speaking, aren't all Estimates Lies?

     Because, say in my example, if you're told to write down the time of when you expect to be back... and inevitably there are delays and unforseen circumstances that cannot be foretold in that Estimate... are not you technically lying? There's only so much one can do to state "Project will take such amount of hours & such amount of minutes" but one cannot feasibly map out every span of time it takes to gather accouterments or the time it takes to say things.

     Well, I mean, you COULD, But that would take more time in doing than the actual projected project. And that would be Silly.

    I may not like Math, but I do like Silly!

    1. Duality


      There's a whole field of maths dedicated to estimates and another one dedicated to uncertainty, so this idea has had formidable analysis.

      See, when you say you'll be back in so and so hours, there's usually a tacit understanding that the timeframe is subject to unexpected fluctuations in fate. However, people who are more late than even tacit understanding can excuse can on quite solid grounds be accused of lying.

      The solution to this is to explicitly specify that your timeframe isn't a hard number, it's a fuzzy one - a statistical-type number or one subject to specified uncertainty. In other words, you can say 'I'll be back in three hours - give or take half an hour' and you've just given a specific uncertainty to your number: you're claiming that you'll be back sometime between 2.5 and 3.5 hours. You can still be accused of lying in this framework if you're even later than 3.5 hours, however, so statistical time-claims are far superior.

      Most of daily life runs on statistics, so you're in good company if you use it to cushion all your estimates. Statistical numbers fall into a distribution (usually a normal distribution) - if you get enough estimates for the same quantity from different people they'll look something like the below graph:


      where instead of 'number of men' you have 'number of people who estimate this time' and instead of 'blood pressure' you have something like 'estimate of the time you'll get back in minutes'. The distribution doesn't have a horizontal bound on it; it just gets more and more unlikely that you'll get back at a time further from the centre of the distribution.

      So instead of saying you'll get back from the store at a certain time you can say that you'll get back from the store at a time within a certain number of standard deviatioms from the centre of the store-return-time statistical distribution. Standard deviations are brackets of the distribution that include a certain percentage of the points in the graph, as shown on the above graph as 1 SD and 2 SD and so on.  This means that if you plot a graph of every time you've gotten back from the store you'll get a graph like the above one, with your current claimed return time falling within a certain number of standard deviations from the centre. This is probably the most estimate-hedging you can do before people start throwing things at you. :kirin:

    2. Widdershins


      But... If a certain number is used, it is expected that only that amount would be used, right? Because, to put a finer point on it, Manager say break time is fifteen minutes... I am reliably seventeen. The time it takes me to walk away from the standing point of which I begin the time frame and start my clock timer, plus the time it takes me to walk back to the finishing spot from where my alarm then goes off when finished adds a two whole minutes.

       If I allot this... that takes extra time and therefore 3-5 minutes are shaved off and a fifteen minute break becomes essentially a ten minute break in which to digest a comestible. 

      So Technically, A 15 is a 17. If 15, becomes approx. 11. This boggles my brain.

      How would I verbally actualize your method? "I shall make it back within First Scale Deviation"?

       It strikes me that one oughten't come across as backsassing your workplace Superiors~

  11. You worry too much, Beedy.

     I swear to you, I only have ONE OC that's sixty feet tall. Gallimaufry, my hydra is like, only 29 feet tall. Bloodred might be sixty feet tall and probably a mile long, but he's a lover, not a fighter! Also, he's like, a pokemon Kaiju so doesn't fully count as an OC.


    Okay, the Cthulu ripoff OC doesn't count either. He's eighty feet tall. And most of that is just likely reality warping powers.


    Okay, look! I just like breaking the fabric of reality and making Big Impressions!


     I like you! I'm gonna pester you more often!

    1. Blitz Boom

      Blitz Boom

      Oh noes, the horror. :P Weird away dude, I don't mind.

      I hope you don't mind me sending a big friend your way. I had this lovely *little* timberwolf matriarch who had just been chasing another char recently, just laying around, and it seemed such a shame to not make use of her.

      Warning: Do not try and feed her doggy treats. She'll bury you face first out of principle. :)

    2. Widdershins


      Nyoo! No one Out-Bigs me! Lol!~

  12. @Windy Breeze A member of the Wonderbolts? Lands in middle of town? Immediately attracts ein attention? Signs zhe automagraphz?! ... *Shoves @Blitz Boom out of the way, begins a horrible Russian accent* Gif them to me. I must break dem. ...I mean play. Play WIF them, yais. ...I smell a humbling is needed, yais. Okay, so that's more like Internet Lolcat, but still. Tryin' ta be intimidatin' here! Oh, and yes, I intend to come back to it as I have been busy lately and stressed. But you can go ahead and respond to it y'all, iffen ya feel like it. ... Yes! I am offering to bat around the newbie like a large irreverent kitty while i'm not only in eight different places simultaneously in the roleplay, overworked, stressed from these here sick days AND FAIRLY BATTY, but I don't see aaaany wrong with that! ... plus, got like, two days off now, so I need something to do! If I ignore my stress, its sure to go away! THAT'S A SANE CONCLUSION!~ *Cough* And no, I'm not telling what of my mutant characters I'll inflict on Windy! Itsa surprise! ... don' make me BeeBee. I'll totes bean you with a pancake! ...yes, I know one can't "bean" with a pancake, but if you put the beans IN the pancake, then surely it'll make bean noises!
  13. @Sekel "I forgot you ponies pound everything into soft mush first. How is any food supposed to give strength to your body if it isn't rock hard? How am I to eat this? Just lick it up like your pet?" Kaltrops complained openly, titling the plate around in his claw, utterly baffled at what she had given him. It was apparent that the drake had spent a great deal of time far outside the conventions and modern day conveniences of Pony Life as it stood today. A bit of civilization was needed and Dawn was lucky she didn't have to put up with him banging into doorways like a colt raised by timberwolves like the old mares' tales always went on about. "Is that want you want? Should I submit myself to you like a pet?" The drake went on, more calm in his tone and expression then his usual harsh words would lend themselves to. "You put the plate down, I lap it up, and you stroke my head and c-call me a go-" He broke off, blushing through his scales to turn away and place the plate upon the nearby table. ####################################### @Blitz Boom & @Pastel Heart Slimpsy didn't care much for Nature. It was dirty, often pretty sudden and was mighty high up the List. He barely recognized anything he came in contact with by ricocheting off whatever was put in his way like the little panicked pinball he was. While he greatly misjudged his own capabilities... well, there was a fair amount of cushioning to most of what impacted him for as long as it could. His blind rush around the Everfree went unnoticed by much as most small critters who did hear him go by would miss him by the time they turned their heads around. The Badger approached the two fillies with malice in its eyes. It was enjoying the fear it instilled in them as it stood up on its rear legs to rear back and make a hissing lunge, its sharp teeth and fangs exposed. Admittedly, this was barely some five inches off the ground as badgers were more designed to hobble and wobble. But this one wanted a fight, some blood shed. It came down, the sunlight glinting off its claws and in its evil eye to strike a blow against Pastel, the nearest of the two as a sharp cry rang out through the forest! ...from the Badger, now sent flying over the treetops in the blink of an eye. If anyone had been watching its ascent would have just seen a waggling, fluffy badger blast off into the sky and becoming twinkle in the sky, it's grunty squeal trailing along behind it. Having only stopped now for the moment because he had hit the tree to their side at an exact straight-on and ricocheted directly back to stop in place. An adult stallion pegasus now stood in front of the two fillies, as brightly colored as an orange safety cone, with a short mane of yellow pointed over his head as if an exclamation mark. He stood shaking wildly much like an idling motorcycle shedding a cloud of feathers off him, for indeed, from flank to front fetlock, his entire torso stood covered as if by a blanket of feathers. He must have an absurdly huge wingspan, but clearly more inclined for running. Slimpsy was so shaken he was vibrating, about three inches in every direction with every part of him all at once. Just like a motorcycle, he began sputtering. "H-h-h-h-have-f-f th-th-they g-g-g-g-g-g-GONE?!! EAT ME! THEY'RE G-g-gonna eat me?!! Th-they gone, g-gone, gone, gone?!!?" He certainly likely wasn't regarding anyone in particular, as he hadn't directed his question at anypony and probably couldn't see straight from the fact that even his eyes were vibrating.
  14. So, I am a fearful fellow. 

     And these... are fearful times.

     I just expect just waves of people fallin' over. I don't wanna get sick, I wanna have plans and make something of myself. It's been hard to focus on anything else other than the thought I might drop anytime.

     Sorry I haven't been around here much. Just... really scared.

     I know I try to take the irreverent approach but... i'm all Shook, man.

    1. Duality



      You and most folks alike, it seems. It's hard to offer many assurances amidst such uncertainty, but if you start coughing I'll marinate your pancakes in chicken soup.

    2. Widdershins


      I've coughed all my Diddly-Dang-Darn-Neighboroonie Life! Breathin' don' come easy to me, Bucketed Boyo!

       ...and that sounded like a threat, somehow. No one flavors my pancakes without my permission! I don't get the glory or credit that way!


       But that's the important thing to remember about assurances. They might be rare and hard to cope with, but if you're attacked first you can strike back for double damage.


       Someone please give me more opportunities for Pokemon references. Being a sarcastic, asinine, inane prick helps with my depression.

  15. @Sepul-Coloratura Not Shredded Storm Wheat, that would just be silly. They're favorite X-Man is Wolverine.
  16. I realize you would have more broohooves if I didn't just chuck teacups and cider mugs at you for months on end.

     Then I realize its hard to have regret when you're Fully Mad.

    1. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      I thought you said fully maud. 
      so here’s some maud pictures:







    2. Widdershins
    3. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Those vacuous eyes... they're like mine whenever I have to pretend to care at work!

  17. Just watched Frozen2! Still don't get it!!

     But it brought up a good point, technically speaking.

     That water has memory. That each part of water we imbide in has passed through at least four other bodies within our lifetime. If, technically, a body died in a place, the process of decomposition begins at least to some degree to demark its place of departure from the living. Something inevitably comes out everywhere a living, mortal exists as all cells and systems shed a bit of themselves, especially in the usually traumatic experiences that cease life. In short, Ya die, Ya Goo.

    So if, despite it shedding all of its remnants from where its most recently been, Water does indeed remember where its been...

    You'd think Water would be VERY angry about this. Just constantly gooshing through guts every so often.

    1. Duality


      And that's why I'm planning world domination!

      It's not often that someone monologues my evil backstory for me. I may keep you as a slave just for that function. :oh_golly:

  18. So, been playing the MLP Gameloft game, and I'd just like to point out...

     See, your ponies "level up" via this Flying Minigame. Not all ponies can fly though, so for those who don't they get to enjoy some pretty magical butterfly wings like Rarity got that one time! …

      … And, uh :Tempest: the only Pegasus who does get them... on over their small, unuseable wings... Is Scootaloo:

    105504653_ScootaloosWings.png.524e8d1abf165b50fbc30ab41660c1bd.png J-just tiny consolation wings over her own tiny, consolation wings.

     Sweet Celestia! This is sad!

     If it's any recompense... I hit every speed boost I can for the poor little filly! I can just imagine the little speedfreak rocketing through the air screaming out tears of joy!~ :(

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. CypherHoof


      Yeah. Pegasus wingpower seems oddly dependent on wings, despite applying to literally anything they touch - so a couple of mares can carry an entire moving truck, complete with pianos, anvils etc and without apparent effort, and fluttershy can hold a traillerload of frogs horizontally behind herself despite her poor load capacity normally, and then there's where Dashie caught up with three falling Wonderbolts and Rarity inches from the ground, while doing around mach 6 or so, then made a right angle turn CARRYING ALL FOUR OF THEM before lifting the whole ensemble back up to cloudsdale.

      But equally, when Dashie got her wing pinned during may the best pet win, she was unable to move the rock or fly after Tank freed her - despite the rock being within tank's lifting capacity. So yeah, it could be there is something literally wrong with her feathers that prevents her using her wingpower properly, or it could just be that she grew up in Ponyville and nobody ever showed her how to channel wingpower to her wings properly (although given one of her aunts is a pegasus pony, you would think she would have helped)

      Bottom line though -she was always meant to be a disabled pony, presumably to show that (other than with Diamond Tiara of course) ponies in ponyville are accepting and accommodating for ponies who are a little different. Of course, Derpy is an equally good example, but Derpy was never intended to be the mare we know and love - her prominance stems from an animation error, not a deliberate design choice.

    3. Widdershins


      Then there's how an old, wibbly little turtle head was all it was needed to lift a big rock that a horse can't kick over. Guess, first and foremost it is a cartoon world! Heh!

       Scoots should, at some point, find at least some way to fly. There's nothing to say she can't, I suppose.

    4. CypherHoof


      I think Faust said it wasn't going to happen, so it didn't happen.

      But windsock is from the comics not the canon show, so maybe....


  19. Oh hey look, a box of epilepsy!


    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Kujamih



    3. Duality


      Is this like the Dark Side of the Moon version of a black hole? :oh_golly:

    4. Widdershins


      @Kujamih Oh noe! I've broken them!!

      @Duality You mean Pink Flyod? Ah yes, just as tripidelic! I believe the right sequencing of colors really lends to it the impression that it is all flowing in a continuous manner, not unlike a river. Very natural in its unnaturalness.


  20. They made Shrek, the Live Action Musical.


      I can just imagine. Some guy on stage, in full green facepaint, cones on his ears leaping like mad. 

     I am a Draconequus. I have seen swirling masses of fleshy appendages continuously spiraling on itself, literal FleshStorms and... and this... No madness compares to Shrek.

    1. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      There’s a bad discount Mario Party game with shrek characters.

    2. Widdershins


      What? Nooo, really?

       That, I can see. A cheap ploy for attention and marketing. But dressing up as Shrek? For any reason? When he was intentionally designed to be as simplistic as possible?

  21. My mindset these days:


  22. I could really go for some Cider.

     ...Is pony apple Cider supposed to be alchoholic? You never see Apple Alcohol. ... Applecohol?

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      It’s all about the effect of alcohol good sir! Not necessarily the taste.

    3. Lord Valtasar

      Lord Valtasar

      apple cider can definately be, and often is alcoholic, i'll give them the benefit of the doubt though since we saw them make it and it seemed more like an apple juice

    4. Widdershins


      Especially since in the episode, the cider came out all pulpy with even sticks and leaves in it!

        ...that still seems like the quality some alcohol products might have.

  23. @Blitz Boom Oh, I wouldn't say "Unwilling" quite as such!~ I sorta have a talent for making things happen without the will from any of the characters involved! It's called Comedy!
  24. It occurs to me others might be gone due to this here whole.... Corona Hoohah. Not to worry anybeing. Heavens know I'm worried!! So, ah, to draw out a point here @Blitz Boom. Monolith is being harsh. Because that's his thing, robotically stern and logical. Spock as a pony, Mega Maude, lol! To translate him, he's calling out the Mayor as just simply saying somepony is a threat, rather than finding evidence. Letting one's views get in the way of judgement. ...something that is... hypocrisy coming from me, hee hee! Oh, and you hit it on the head there with "couldn't make him move anywhere he didn't want to." Because, of course, Want being the operative word there! Monolith doesn't "want" things. He's the most awkward in social situations because of his bluntness. The sort to roughly turn down offers of candy because it doesn't make sense to ingest sugar for recreation. Oh, and I do have a plan to introduce Slimpsy to the two fillies with @Pastel Heart. I just want to build up a little bit more how inescapable, intimidating & undealable this badger is!