TBD

I set a strict mindset for myself before I start either with smoking or drinking. Mostly around cigarettes. In reality it’s tough for me but I did tried to limit myself with drinking one can a day (to help ease my stress) at least 11%. A little mind trick I did to myself to think I’m having two cans so it prevents me from picking up another and then another. Smoking for me It’s used to be a stick a day, then one stick a day after tomorrow but now if I desperately needs it. Because I drink everyday anyways so a cigarette a day isn’t that necessary needed for me. I did tried nicotine gums but.. somehow it didn’t sit well for me. But this mindset works okay with me since I haven’t smoke or drink obsessively. But what helps me is drinking coffee if I have cravings that may break my mojo. Also thinking about my health since I work out and can’t afford to exercise with a bad health. Also thinking about what it did to one of my sister’s, my uncle’s ,and my dad’s health also helps. It’s not easy to keep a steady mindset but I tried to keep it that way. However, wouldn’t never suggested it to anyone (with a stronger addiction) doing my way how to limit themselves since this is just me as a person and most people are different in how they’d handle themselves. But I think having this pre mindset that I made for myself before I get into these “habits” did in a way, prevented the worst for my health.

Romance. God I hate “boy meet girl” vice versa cliche. If I was expecting “romance” I would’ve just picked up a “romance” genre book. It always ruin the mood for me every time I read fictional books. I don’t mind it if I’m reading classic literature ones because it’s not clingy for me. But that’s why I stopped reading fictional ones and read historical ones. Sometime mystery novels still if I’m confident that it doesn’t those cliche romance. And literature.

Could’ve been better. One of my workers who is relatively new was using the employee’s unisex restroom which is just one room for one person at the time- and she was using up her work time to talk on her phone in there. Especially when I needed to go. I knocked on the door to give her the idea that she needs to hang up because there’s someone waiting to use the restroom. Now I’m not the kind to tell people what to do like micromanaging but when she came out, all I said to her that she shouldn’t be on her phone and using the restroom to talk during on her working hours because one, she could get in trouble and two, it’s a complete inconsiderate of her using our only restroom as her “phone time” when there’s others who NEEDS to use it. she then said that she doesn’t give a fuck what the company or what not and her restroom time is “her time”. But I just repeat what I said and hopefully she gets it the next time. I for one, don’t give a damn about the company rules too but what I do care is at least have some decent to NOT use our ONLY employee’s restroom for your damn “Me TiMe”. Use THAT on your break in an appropriate time! There’s a lot of workers here using that restroom and we’re not waiting on someone who can’t tell the fucking differences! Lastly, she’s new so quite frankly, you don’t have a place to not give a damn about our rules and policies! But seriously next time I catch her doing that again, I’m going to report her.

Checking the time it’s almost 6:00 pm, my time to clock out.. there are still some patients left…hurry it up so I can start cleaning and go home. —— Craving for chips… idk why I’m so addicted to chips now…I’m hungry. Curse my office’s vending machine, because I don’t have any physical cash on me.

Waking up in general always made me feel like crap. I just hate waking up to something I have to do that I don’t like. School or/and jobs. That’s why I’m so looking for retirement in a beach so I can wake up every morning to the smell of the sea and the beautiful ocean view.

God.. I don’t watch any mainstream TV shows (not including animations) at all. Since no cable nor paid steam subscriptions. The only ones I did watched are like Star Wars, Doctor Who, Marvels, and Wednesday. But I stopped keeping up with the recent SW and Marvels though. I don’t have Disney plus to watch them and too lazy to download them to watch. But it’s okay, never a fan of these popular series anyway, I’m sticking with MeTv shows. I do get annoyed when people say you never watch “Game or Throne” or “Breaking Bad”??? and I would just reply back well, have you ever watch “Perry Mason” or “Columbo”? No? Then we’re even.

I’m holding my breath till that theory is confirmed because that would be so interesting coming Genshin impact like the greatest twist! Should I get into the lantern story? Because I don’t feel like doing it but at the same don’t want to missed one important lore that may connect to the future archon quest. I love the Fontaine design so far! It’s so elegant with a stream punk flair to it. I’m already interested in captain R right now ohh did you beat 50/50 on him or lost? And it’s okay maybe you could save it for Dehya instead?

Well… for one thing. If there’s a bomb or mass shooting I wouldn’t never ever tried to save anyone even if they needs help escaping. I would automatically put myself first and run out the exit without thinking about others. That’s why I would always looks out for an exit every time I come inside a building. There’s some who could do it but me? Nah, I don’t own anyone anything. Especially to a stranger. If you work in a hospital facility and if they are in a threatening situation, they would want you to stay and help escorting patients, since it’s their policy. Even though I don’t work in the hospital anymore but if I did, I would be like “ah screw it, I’m getting out of here!”

I don’t understand when people who wants to watch a certain movies but “can’t “because they don’t have any subscription for steaming movies when they could just rant a DVD in their local libraries just around the corner.. I mean, what’s stopping them? And it’s free.

Funny how reversed I was in school. Public school I was singled out as one of those kids who doesn’t care about school, have the lowest grades, and gets in trouble even when troubles was the first to find me, compared to most of my classmates. Except 6th grade. We’re all pretty much blended altogether. While in private school up to high school, I was an opposite of that. Lots of my classmate here in high school struggled with most lessons since my school teaches us to be set for college. And I was only the few with the highest grade, always get my work done and straight A’s. Let alone are a bit more matured, shrewd, hard worker, and staying out of troubles, than most of my classmates my age. But all the same I’m always been the ‘lone wolf type’ in all schools.

Honestly I kinda stopped after the last archon quest with Scaramoche. Haven’t gotten through the new recent event yet. But I did watched the cutscene with Zhongli and his old friends and what happened to one of their friend who’s the inventor. People actually speculated that she could one for the harbinger! Which would makes since they look alike and both good with mechanics. But yeah I took a break and might come back to get Beizhou or once Fortaine drops! Have you seen some of the leaks from it? are you planning to pull for Alhaitham or hu Tao? And yes! I love Dehya in the story quest so I’m excited to try her out too!

The transition from a public school to a catholic private school was a huge difference no joke. I want to a public up to 6th grade. 6th grade was the rowdiest for me. I started hating going to school since K grade and up. But one thing I like doing more than studying and homework is getting into fights (for fun). I was troublesome kid in elementary and 6th was like cherry on the top for me. Or so I thought. In that school, you will see kids here doing what a normal 12-14years old wouldn’t never do. Smoking, make out, you get it. I wouldn’t be so surprised if these kids in school would end up in a ditch or worst growing up. Basically, “Sex, drugs and violence English, math and science, Safety in numbers Give me, give me danger“- green day Despite of some bullying in that school, I was one of those kids that everyone ignored or just forgets I was even there. Maybe because they thought I was “goth” (not true, I’m more of a punk rock lol) for wearing black all the time and didn’t want to do anything with me. You would think that saved my ass but I was rather kinda disappointed because I was inching for a fight or an excuse to start one. while I did have some few friends or someone else who doesn’t mind a rumble with me, I can feel my “fighting days” was dying. I moved straight to a catholic school at 7th grade up to 12th. God damn the transition was dramatic for me honestly and I can’t seem to find a word to describe it. But I would say it’s like when you get out of a prison and they put you in a rehab to get “fix” and mold you the way how a “catholic” person should be. Although I was glad for what this school has done for me for having me be more disciplined, educated, and mindful because I would have end up somewhere else. The only thing I didn’t like about it is how it concealed my negative emotions instead trying to help me with it due to my past experiences in a public school. Because I take out my negative emotions through fights and that’s all I knew. Obviously those days was over. And to have no knowledge to how to deal with it in a different way kinda messed me up.

A garbage can-So I can toss all the crap out from today and the next. ( no seriously we do have a garbage can right at the front of the door where we’re coming in)

“I don't wanna be responsible for anything I don't wanna be deep in front of love I don't wanna be a sad adult My heart is still nineteen, nineteen, nineteen”

Bought a book here! Always wanted to read assassins/ hitmen in world war 2.

I used to work at a nursing home before I moved to an hospital as a CNA. The first patient that I met was this very old lady with a dementia. She was very kind but yet sad. She would tell me about her family and her husband who she loved very much. I remember the first day when she talked to me about her husband and tells me how he always comes to see her. Then she told me as if our conversation has been shifted that her husband didn’t get a chance to visit her today. I asked maybe he’s busy? She then said that it has been awhile since she saw him. And missed him. The way she worded was sounded a bit off or doesn’t quite made sense to me. I told her when is the last time did he came to visit you? she told me that he visited just yesterday and say what if he forgets about her. I told her that not to worry and that he hasn’t forgotten about you and will visit soon. Then she said that it’s has been too long and wants to see him. I begin to have this strange gut feeling although I don’t how I even got that feeling it just came to me. I asked her where is your husband? She then broke down crying and say that her husband is gone 15 years ago. Despite of that, she still say that she was waiting for her husband because she saw him yesterday. As if she got confused between the day her husband passed and the day he last visited her and waiting. That got me to think how sad she has forgotten about her husband passing and still waits for his visit. I tried not to be the one to remind her that her husband die. Even through we were supposed to address and help our patients with dementia to remember their current timeline. But instead I asked her to share her stories with the time she and her husband has spend and that usually makes her feel better just sharing about it. Rather than meaninglessly reminding her that her husband passed away. I had worked with difficult patients from nursing to hospital. But I believed the system itself is what made me lose faith on the medical field. Working with patients is what gives me some sort atonement. However that was like 3 years ago when I gave it all up, probably because I couldn’t do enough or can’t control what cannot be controlled. Or maybe that’s just an excuse that I chose to run away from the responsibility. Do i regret it? Too soon to say.

I was working at this one hospital except the hospital doesn’t look too modernized but older. It was like I was stuck in a silent hill setting. However I wasn’t technically hired as a medical worker but rather a salesman there. One of the nurse told me that I need to help her with getting all the patients out to the safety area because there has been a threat. So I helped her moving the patients and trying my best to save them all as best as I could. I want to take a rest for a moment and sat down to catch my breath. One of the worker come up to me and asked “what am I doing here at the hospital?” I answered her “ because I was helping people here.” She then laugh hysterically and said, “ No you weren’t. You’re not here to save people. You’re here to make some money from us.” That was the last thing she said to me before I wake up from my dream. I couldn’t help it but to feel a bit hurt by that despite of this being just a dream.

I have always been a boring person even before becoming an adult and no changes are a good thing. But I do have days when I had more fun than my usual days.

Hm may be too soon to say this or perhaps ignorant but I stopped caring in general about world issues. I used to go about and care while “preaching” the rights and wrong with the world issues we are facing. But now I have come to realize that our world is nothing more but a broken record of repetition and basically just there for us to live out our human nature. I had spend at least 15 years since I was teen caring and focused on world issues that it made me feel nothing but disappointment. So with that in mind, I learned I don’t want to spend the rest of my life growing old worrying over something that is beyond my control. And if something would to happen where it got me involved, well that’s for the future me to bitch about. Beside there are over billions of other who does care, so I think the world wouldn’t notice or miss if one person or a few actually stop caring.

I don’t care too much to respect any jobs. Or what people do for a living. To me, a job is job that one does it either for the money or for themselves. Unless it’s inspired me in some way than that’s exceptional.

Emotionally tried and annoyed. I hate it when a person tell me that they can handle this and not listen to me in the first place and then end up doing the exact same thing I told them to do 10 mins earlier! And thinks they’re the one who come up with the plan. When in reality that what I just said. . Arrogant idiots.

I declare that we shall reward participants with a badge for sharing their imaginative ideas! This is a brilliant thread! As for my answer I would love to be a dragon maybe a majestic sea serpent like a Kelpie from the Wizardary World . I love Harry Potter and if I could be a dragon in any universe it will have to be this ONE.

Me and this one new worker have a very nice rant/chat. It was nice to have someone who actually felt the same way as you do and talk about it like “are you mad with the world? yes! Wish that you can just blow it all up? yes! hella yeah!” Finally someone gets it! And that’s why I like talking to older people in their 50s. The conversation is not like that though -but you get the idea.

Yeah I know since today is one of the most busiest day and every one is busy at the store with the inventory and such, while I’m just doing the sales. So I don’t blame her at all Haha. I see her less now so I couldn’t make any progress sadly. But I’m going hope for another better opportunity. And when we both have time to spare without work being in the way.