KiraTakahashi

First time psychology, second anthropology.

I can't remember last night's but the feeling I get from it makes me kinda sad. The last dream I remember is from a few days ago. I am in a neighborhood that I've never been to. I see this old man with a white beard messing with his pourch (he's one floor up), drilling a hole into the wall. I hear him say damn this pourch. Then I see him put a rifle through said hole and aim down. All of a sudden it's first person view and I'm the guy. I'm aiming at the ground then I see a little kid with a red shirt and aim at him. I shoot. You see the kid fall to the ground and blood pooling around him. The other kids around him kinda freak out. All of a sudden I'm back to being on the ground in my own body. I see the kid laying there..and the old man is no where in sight. I then decide to go into the man's house. I break his door and look for him. But instead of finding him I find a very dusty house that looks like no one's been here for years. I go upstairs and the guys not here. I go into a room and see old pokemon stuff. I take one of those gold card pokeball and leave. When I get outside the kids body is gone and the pool of blood is dried up and old. I walk across the street and sit down on some steps where this older chick is. She asks what I've got. So I open the pokeball to show her..only for it to be empty. When I close it I look at the top of the ball. There's a burn mark that's bulging out. I break it and find the gold charizard card. Then I wake up.

So I haven't been on this site much. Usually I don't feel like doing much of anything besides watching dvd or playing games when I get off work. Especially if I work the next day. So if I disappear at random that's why. Works been annoying. It's either customers being asshats or workers being idiots. Most but not all. Nothing changes at walmart. Hell almost got fired the other day. I honestly don't even care anymore. I stopped caring when they decided to deny my moving departments within the store and take my hours away. I've been applying to other places but not much luck coming out there. For about a week or so I've been trying desperately to find something that would give me a happy moment..no luck in that field as well. Anywhere I look I see everyone I graduated with has a decent home, kids, college out of the way..everything..here I am almost 10 years later..living paycheck to paycheck..a college drop out and just feeling like the reject that I've always been. Maybe that's why I got so invested in the character cloe from life is strange. Seriously the way she acts and everything is how I used to act at that age. That and I totally shipped her with max hardcore. That's another reason I feel kinda meh..that game was super deep. Parts of the game dealt with shit I had to deal with. So it hit pretty close to home. Ugh I'm gonna find something to get my mind off everything. My fav ship now.

I feel a tiny bit dead inside..and it's over something stupid. Found a new game to play..and I got too invested to a character. The end of the game gives me two choices. Kill the character I like and save the town..or kill everyone I know and save that character.

Well the past three days I've been playing life is strange. I finally beat it last night..and feel so hollow now.

You could always ink it. Would still look really nice. Could even look just fine black and white.

X-files, serial killer cases, pokemon, minecraft, frozen, dexter, game of thrones, and really fuzzy things.

Aww how adorable! *brohoof*

Right now I just have a paw print on my arm. But I wanna get a character from Tokyo ghoul..the mask maker Uta. He's adorable. Something like this: http://hini-parlous.deviantart.com/art/Tokyo-Ghoul-Chibi-Uta-474079467

Cleaning the apartment since it was getting on my nerves.

I'm thinking I really don't want to work tomorrow.

Crabcake..and I absolutely regret it.

Annoyed. Every time I eat I feel sick..but I'm not sick.

I guess the first time I was truly scared is when I first experienced sleep paralysis..I heard a woman screaming, was finding it hard to breathe since my face was in the pillow at an odd angle and I couldn't move. Still happens every now and then but only when I'm exhausted.

Pecan pie but that'll probably change soon

So I've been away from the site for a bit. I've been busy packing, working, moving and of course getting sick by the end of it. Well almost end. Just got in the new place. Gotta say I really like it. All that's left unpacking is the kitchen and living room. It's a cozy place, and even though the bathroom is kinda small I love the tub..so I over look the size. So far management is just awesome, even let my gf and I pay rent early. There's a decent size pool here, nice gym, mail boxes are in a great area and the laundry mat even has a vending machine. I feel a bit fancy and it's pretty nice. What's even better is I even got my taxes done early. It won't be much but I plan on using most of it to buy my gf a new phone. Hers just keeps getting worse. We can't even trust using it as an alarm clock. But anyway so far the plan is working out. Her mom is gonna just pay water and electric. Which shouldn't be high at all since my tv is an energy saving tv, I use the sun as light during day time and I unplug everything I'm not using as does my gf. I also plan on saving up and buying a new washer for my gfs mom, I'm looking into the water saving ones. And definitely getting my gf a new dresser..the one we are using is broken and it was built with really cheap wood so there's no fixing it. On a side note the cat is freaked out. Which I expected. But she does feel safe in our room so thankfully she won't be too stressed. AND OMFG THE CLOSET IS HUGE! like it's ridiculous. .I love it. As for work it's gotten worse. They gave up on moving me. Meh that's fine I've been applying to other places anyway. But holy crap the scheduLing person really needs..I think they need training. Having two people in the morning is fine and all if it's sunday. But every other day needs at least three. We are always so behind. Just the other day I went almost 4 hours without a break just so the other morning person could take a lunch and their job. And of course the mid was late so I had to wait 5 hours to take a lunch myself. But I was nice enough to take the trash, clean the floors, cook all food that needed to be and clean the slicers just before I left for the closer. The morning people never do that but I do since you are supposed to. So the past two months have been pretty hectic and yes I came very close to quitting my job at least once or twice but never went with it. But everything's kinda slowing down now..we'll besides work so that's a plus. Guess that's it..so yeah check out my room. The doorway. Right side of the room. Unintentional pic of my gf and kitty on the left side lol. Spacious closet. So there's the tour.

Most of the time no. But it's cause short very curly hair is hard to manage.

I can't stand mint. Just the smell of it makes me want to vomit. And I'm just so lucky to experience it at work now since the bathroom always reeks of it.

Venom energy drink. Cause well why not?

I'm feeling annoyed but amused. I have no water..again. two weeks ago I had no water due to a pipe bursting. Then all last week up until last night no hot water. Back to having no water because the maintenance people are fixing something but decided to not give us any notice.

I'm thinking that I need to make a check list of stuff I need to do today and for the rest of the week. Well minus tomorrow since I close and I'll be too tired to do anything. Also I'm thinking of what I could sell on ebay so I could possibly buy my gf the switch with zelda game since I know I won't be able to afford it with my checks.

Right now I'm working to make enough money to pay for rent split between my gf and I. I'm also applying for better jobs. I'm hoping to keep paying rent mainly so my gf and I can help her mom get out of debt. She will be living with us (we invited her) rent free for a few months to a year so she can pay off her debt. Now I'd I get the job I'm applying for I will be taking over rent fully for a few months and letting my gf pay for just the car and food while her mom still lives rent free. At the same time if my gf gets promoted like we are hoping we will be able to do all the above and start sending her dad and my mom money to help them as well. Basically we will be working to survive and give back to our parents. That is my plan for the year. Also once I get in the new apartment I will be using the gym on site so I can become more fit. And by the middle to end of this year I will be on 0 nicotine. Currently on 4 right now and handling it just fine. I also plan to set aside money to buy fruit containers and fruit when on sale and make custom fruit trays for my gfs mom to bring to work (help save her money on store bought) and for myself since I love em .

I'd wish to have the power to take peeps pain away even if it's just anxiety.