Props Valroa

Not my fault. It's my mom's for bringing in little bastard strays, it's not my money either though I hate every day of this crap.

For me, it's not even that much of a choice, as I'm allergic to most animals. But taking care of them would be quite difficult at times, like getting people to look after them when you're on vacation or something – that's too complicated, even if having pets can have its benefits.

I've had... let's see... 

 22 dogs, at least three dozen chickens, 12 fish, 9 parakeets, 2... perhaps now 4 cats, a potbelly pig, maybe a tarantula and an actual, rather gorgeous Pony named GoldenBoy.

Benefits O' bein' a country boy, ah reckon.

And they've always bein a right ruckus, they have. Don't think my psyche can take another pet keeling over from some random ailment.

 ...Not ALL of them met an untimely end, but with that wide of a pool... Yeah. 

 I got me enough trouble taking care of myself. Heck, I'm a circus all by myself!