KTAG

Aight so this movie review is brought to you by Fear. Something that drives people to do insane crap that they regret immediately or don't even live to regret it.

Alright so I just watched the Meg. Some of you may know that my biggest fear in life is being anywhere near the water. A deep pool is about as far as I will go. No lakes, rivers, and by the holy man himself, NO OCEAN. So you all might be wondering why I put myself through hell for a movie. Well I heard the movie wasn't scary at all so I decided to go and see what was up with it. So taking out the fact that I'm afraid of the water, the movie wasn't scary in the slightest. The jumpscares were only slightly scary to me because of my fear of the water, but other than that the movie was less scary than the Teletubbies...actually scratch that. If you've seen how big the Teletubbies are, then the scary factor on them rises. So this movie was about as scary as My Little Pony. It really wasn't scary in the slightest. There was a lot of ATTEMPTED comedy in the movie. Even though it's not placed as a comedy, there were too many jokes in there for me to not have a comedic section in my Average Percent Calculator (APC).

The acting was pretty good for all of the characters. I didn't like Li Bingbing's (Suyin) acting in most of the scenes, and her character felt dry. Like you had all of the other actors who actually had some personality to them. You had Jason Statham who was the one doing all the dangerous stuff, Rainn Wilson who was the douche bag entrepenuer who tried to get everyone killed so he could save a few bucks, and even Page Kennedy who was the scaredy cat who wanted to get out of there. But then you have Li Bingbing who's character was dryer than some over cooked chicken. She was just there to get herself into danger, to give Jason Statham more badass time, to be the unneeded love interest, and to save Jason Statham in the ending. Now a lot of you might be like "You just gave away something in the movie. Why did you spoil it. Blah blah blah"

In all honesty as soon as you see Jason save everyone in the beginning, and it's established that he's the cool savior, you'll realize that he's gonna need saving in the end, so it's not that bad.

So the plot of the movie feels like something from a movie that's on the Syfy channel. An underwater discovery team has a theory that the bottom of the Mariana Trench is not the bottom. It's made of like pressurized sulfur dioxide or something like that and their machines can pass through it but because it's so cold the life down their can't pass through. So they go down and pass through the "bottom" and reach the other side. While down their the three people that went down there get attacked and are stranded. So to save the three people, they convince Jason Statham to go down there because his ex wife is down there. Once they get everyone back up and everything is all well and good. The Meg attacks their research station Mana 1. After doing some finding on the radars and other equipment, they find out that when they left there was some heat or something that left a trail through the cold pressurized sulfur dioxide. And before the heated passage grew cold the meg had time to swim through.

So that's enough of that plot. So here's my ratings for the movie.

Acting: 75%

Plot: 50%

Characters: 75%

Comedy: 5%

Scares: 0% (Excluding my fear of the water that enhanced these scares.)

Interest kept: 50%

Cinematography: 80%

TOTAL: 55% 

NOTES: The Meg had good ideas that were executed poorly. They got some good actors in there, some good cinematography, but that's really about it. The Meg was better left as a trailer. The trailer made the movie look so good, but the actual movie felt like a stretch of the trailer. What seemed like it was gonna have a lot of exploration in it, didn't really have too much exploration. As much as I hate to say this, if they had spent more time underwater exploring the underground areas, then the movie would have been a little better. Because as I said earlier, their cinematography was amazing, and pretty scary.

If you liked The Meg, let me know why you liked it. If you didn't like it. Tell me how much you agree with my ratings. Thanks for reading and happy New Years.